dashonrat

[dashonrat]

i love arcane

[dashonrat]

gave my scary wife a mullet

[dashonrat]

i want to suck on Minthara's House Baenre tattoo so hard that it disappears beneath the bruises and then whisper, "you belong to me now."

[dashonrat]

okay but you don't use it to write emails you use it to run a solo choose-your-own-adventure type story set in Menzoberranzan and now you're an alchemist with a disaster gay brother and a flumph pet named Ril that you make tentacle tube socks for because he keeps flipping over and you go on a date in a glowing mushroom forest with a hot sorcerer lady who you met right before someone's eyeballs got melted

we need to make using chatgpt embarrassing bc sorry it really is. what do you mean you can’t write an email

[dashonrat]

day 14

✦ extreme rat ✦

[dashonrat]

Everyday I wake up and Minthara is not real

*Adam Driver screaming and punching the wall meme*

[dashonrat]

perspiration

[dashonrat]

Gale Being Completely Unhinged During the Epilogue

Apprentice *bursting into the Blackstaff’s chambers*: Sir, I apologize for the intrusion, but it seems that a portal to Hell has been opened in Professor Dekarios’s classroom—

Blackstaff: What?! None of his students are advanced enough to have done that!

Apprentice: …

Blackstaff: Oh, my god

[dashonrat]

In this house, we love and respect our woke and unhinged bisexual nonbinary gremlin.

[dashonrat]

RIP doggy

[dashonrat]

completely over prepared for the Grym fight. no one got hit for a single HP, even Scratch. (except Connor, who dove head first into the lava, died, came back to life, then died again. RIP Connor you are a great husband, Mayrina did not deserve you)

also reaaaally under prepared because i realized only just before the fight that my mithral was gone. i had to go buy it back from lady Esther for 530 gold…

[dashonrat]

Sue Bird after being offered Milk Duds at the Liberty vs Dream game

i love when she sits court side because it's always a personal highlight for me to see what she's wearing and she always looks so gooooood

[dashonrat]

The Nightwarden's Web

Chapter 8: As a Matter of Course

Pairing: Minthara Baenre/fem!Tav Word count: 7,161 Rating: mature Tags: post-canon, established relationship, intrigue, romance, violence, murder

Excerpt:

“I had a hunch I might find you here,” you say, pushing open the door to Irlentree’s library.

Minthara only briefly turns her head your way before resuming her browsing. Her fingers slowly caress the row of books until — intrigued by its beautifully decorated spine — she gently pulls one out, only to immediately slide the book back upon reading its title.

“A plethora of books, though little more than diversion for the witless, as expected. If he has even read them at all — most of them look untouched.” Minthara shakes her head in disapproval. “This entire shelf is overflowing with absurd adventure and saccharine romance novels. If we needed more proof of this man’s life being dull and uninspiring, this is it.”

“Care for a saccharine dessert?” you say mock-seductively, presenting her with the plate in your hand. “I already had some. They said the pears were poached, but they never mentioned from where.”

Minthara chuckles. “No. Too sweet.”

Read the full chapter on AO3

Image: Detail from 'Stilleven met vergulde bokaal' (1635) by Willem Claeszoon Heda

[dashonrat]

🥹

[dashonrat]

🤒👊💥

[dashonrat]

my biggest fear for Veilguard is what if i don’t fall in love with any of the characters?

scary business

[dashonrat]

Blaze Elin sets me aflame, I'm telling you