defaultdimension - Tumblr blog

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me because recovery is not linear (i relapsed)

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normalize taking photos of yourself- not with a filter or a peace sign covering your face. a real, honest photo of yourself. because one day you're going to miss your crooked teeth and chubby cheeks, and every photo will be obscured by a self conscious hand. youre going to wish you'd been kinder to yourself when you turned that camera on and wish you could reach through the screen and tell yourself "its okay. you look beautiful"

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i know sapnap doesnt like it but someone needs to know hes in my dream blunt rotation <3

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i loved you more than my soul knew what to do with

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i loved her crooked teeth. she would always smile with her mouth closed in pictures, or cover it entirely, but i loved her crooked teeth. she has a boyfriend, but every now and again i wonder how i can fall so deeply in love with someone, to know their "flaws" as beauty, to feel an ache knowing that someone can be loved so much and never know

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thinking about how cdream probably found solace in the fact that no matter what happened, he and george would live under the same sky and look at the same moon and sweat under the same sun only to have it taken away as he's thrown into an enclosed prison with no sun or sky or stars or george and no way to feel connected anymore. just the infernal ticking of a clock he keeps burning to get some company

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sue me if you want but there is something about carol ann duffy's eurydice poem that pisses me off. what do you mean it was orpheus's hubris that caused a victorious loss? what do you mean she secretly lamented being his muse, that the only way to cut herself free was to stroke his ego? the original myth crumples me. this poem turns all of that, all the love, the sacrifice, the 'going to the ends of the earth' into something completely different

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"i'm just a girl"

i say, opening up the four hour playlist i made about him with his house's coordinates as the description, before putting away my scrapbook pages of every piece of information about his sports/family/property/social media history that can be accessed without a paywall.

i'm just a girl (im pretty sure he hates me)(he barely talks to me)

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tragedy enjoyers when the tragedy is completely avoidable and yet utterly inevitable by the nature of the characters. when the tragedy didn’t have to happen and yet it was always going too.

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You want to know how to make great angst?

You have to put in that tiny sprinkle of hope. That little morsel that things COULD be alright again if the character can make the right decision.

To make a good tragedy, it’s the same thing, but you NEVER let the character realize this truth until it can never be fixed.

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I was thinking recently about the idea of a tragedy in present tense versus a tragedy in past tense, and how a tragedy in present tense is about how there is still a chance to have it end differently and we have no choice but to watch every chance be missed or squandered or fail, and a tragedy in past tense is about how there is no chance for a different ending because the ending has already happened. Orpheus has already looked back. Every time, he has already looked back.

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Character who doesn't get to die & character who doesn't get to live. Is that anything.

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the experience of tragedy in plays specifically because ‘maybe it will end differently this time’ feels possible. This isn’t pre-recorded. This isn’t set down in time and film. This is live, this is now, these people are real and maybe this time when they open the letter it won’t say ‘kill the messenger’. Maybe this time they get to live

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real footage of me taking a moment to reconnect with nature after tweaking out about two white men for literal years

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i hope you guys know i will NEVER be normal about c!dnf. what do you mean to love someone is to quietly suffer, knowing deep in your heart that this is the only way to keep them while they quietly do the same, or to know that the only way to save them is to deprive yourself of their warmth resting upon your shoulder while they watch you in dismay? what do you mean their love was doomed from the start? what do you mean they're willing to destroy both the world and themselves to fight the will of the gods? what do you mean that they will never truly understand how deep their love for each other truly is? to love is to let go but it is also to hold on, to promise i wont let go, not until you tell me to.

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Need to go back to the days of c!dnf fanfics where Dream’s forced to be distanced from George because they know there’s always someone out there who would gladly use George to get to Dream

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DREAM: People don't like *me* therefore they don't like *you* because-- you're behind me and you're my friend.

c!dream saying all this knowing he's about to go to prison and have the entire world against him. That he is about to attract the ire of every single person they know, all their friends, and he won't be able to protect c!george from that aftermath. he can't be everywhere at once. he won't be able to protect george from whoever wants to use him as leverage (see: spirit) or put his life on the bargaining table (see: ranboo) or hurt him to get to dream. he's about to paint the biggest target there's ever been straight over his forehead. george has to be a non-player, a non-pawn, disqualified and safely put away. he loves george so much