they/them
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derealizedreams · 4 months ago
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yknow 9 times outta 10 i find hyper religious people are compensating for something
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derealizedreams · 4 months ago
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Types of brain fog:
Brain is primordial sludge & you are drowning in it
U are a ghost and nothing is real
Mental equivalent of attempting to stream some high-res video game when all you have is dial-up
The thing you want to articulate is *right there* but you're just scrabbling at it like a cat continually failing to catch the bird on the other side of the window
The Void
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derealizedreams · 4 months ago
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pk;m new 😔
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derealizedreams · 4 months ago
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not necessarily sure if this is a DID thing rather than a trauma thing in general but it sure sucks living your life constantly doubting your own memory and feeling like ur exaggerating or making up your trauma
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derealizedreams · 4 months ago
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if you've ever purposefully tried to deny your system/"turn it off" and it still keeps happening, your system can't be fake.
you can't subconsciously fake something while fighting against it.
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derealizedreams · 4 months ago
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Could reality please at least be bearable enough for me to stop dissociating every single day away can things be just bearable enough for me to participate in my own life is that really too much to ask
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derealizedreams · 4 months ago
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i think all systems should stop trying to figure out if stuff is “normal” in systemhood before accepting that it’s happening to them.
there have been many times where i assumed i was crazy because id never heard another system talk about something i was experiencing and tried to ignore it. eventually id find someone else who experienced the same thing, and id be so happy, but realize i wasted so much time doubting myself and beating myself up.
yes, look for others who share your experiences, but also YOUR experiences are enough. you aren’t faking for simply having an experience. you should be allowed to feel what you feel and do what you do.
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derealizedreams · 4 months ago
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Shout out to the systems still living in traumatizing situations or with their abusers. Wish us all luck.
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derealizedreams · 4 months ago
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i think fakeclaiming over the internet is weird unless its like, blatantly obvious trolling. however you feel about syscourse, you never know whats going on in someone’s mind. fakeclaiming is presuming to know someones mind better than they do.
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derealizedreams · 4 months ago
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derealizedreams · 4 months ago
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”I want to know your headcount” “I want to know who’s fronting” so do I, get in line
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derealizedreams · 4 months ago
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"you're so funny" thanks I have no childhood memories and I'm never in control of my own body :3
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derealizedreams · 4 months ago
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i feel terrible. i feel like ive reached a breaking point. i feel like a spectator in my life, a ghost in my body. i don't know who i am or who i want to be. i don't know what to do or where to go. i'm lost. in my own house i feel like i want to go home. i feel like i can't tell anyone how i feel either.
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derealizedreams · 4 months ago
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derealizedreams · 4 months ago
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i struggle to express myself with words sometimes because "i" doesn't always feel correct, but "we/us" doesn't feel right either. i think all of my alters are fragments. or maybe i am a representation of the whole, while my alters are facets.
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derealizedreams · 4 months ago
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we are so ableist about memory. people with good memory take for granted the fact that they can recall as much as they can, and use that to taunt, guilt and threaten people with memory issues. many neurotypes and mental illnesses cause memory lapses. traumatic brain injuries can cause memory lapses. brain cancer can cause memory lapses.
even if your memory is good, it's not right to guilt someone because they can't remember something. trust me, people with memory problems are desperately trying to remember: it's just that we literally can't. it is a very literal "i can't remember".
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derealizedreams · 4 months ago
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hello
im a UDD system. i also have DPDR, autism, and anxiety.
let's dissociate together
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