diary-of-a-pretentious-asshole - Tumblr blog

[diary-of-a-pretentious-asshole]

“I can fix him” please don’t cut his balls off actually

[diary-of-a-pretentious-asshole]

Relationship advice from your opportunistic Bat-friend.

[diary-of-a-pretentious-asshole]

i just watched Do The Right Thing and wow just wow

[diary-of-a-pretentious-asshole]

as much as I love the babygirlification of Ryan Reynolds and Hugh Jackman rn, we should all remember that Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds have both been supporting Colleen Hoover. Blake Lively is literally starring in a movie glorifying domestic violence, written by a woman who defends her rapist son. You do not know them and you should think about their actions critically. You do not know me. You do not know most of the people on your screen.

[diary-of-a-pretentious-asshole]

How come when michael phelps was discovered to produce 2/3 as much lactic acid than the average person, on top of having a genetic condition causing a wingspan more than his height and also being double jointed in his feet, he was praised for his genetic mutations allowing him to be a better swimmer than any average person who trained just as hard? No really think about it, Olympian men are constantly praised for any genetic abnormalities that allow them to be better at their sport. However, every time an olympian woman is found to have higher levels of testosterone, she is disqualified or forced to take drugs to lower it. This boxing thing while stupid is something the Olympics keeps doing (mainly to black women) and it’s awful.

Fun ovaries fact: they produce testosterone 😱

CN about the testosterone reducers Caster Semenya was forced to take to compete: https://amp.cnn.com/cnn/2023/11/06/sport/caster-semenya-totestosterone-limits-world-athletics-spt-intl

National Geographic Talking about male olympian’s advantages: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/science/article/olympic-gold-good-genes

also they didn’t let a black woman compete after having LEGAL NON-PERFORMANCE ENHANCING MARJUANA in her system cause of ethics, but they let a white guy this year compete even though he was person for 13 months for RAPING a 12 year old girl (https://www.thedailybeast.com/crowd-cheers-as-convicted-rapist-is-eliminated-in-olympic-beach-volleyball)

[diary-of-a-pretentious-asshole]

I ALSO LOVE FAKE TITTIES

Reblog if you love titties!! 😍

Big titties Small titties Her titties Your titties Their titties Black titties Brown titties White titties Perky titties Saggy titties Natural titties All titties

[diary-of-a-pretentious-asshole]

was it casual when he brought you home to introduce you to his mother figure

[diary-of-a-pretentious-asshole]

worst feeling in the world is being around men, and they say something that reminds you, you’re a woman, and they’re a man

[diary-of-a-pretentious-asshole]

he’s fucking crazy but he is free

Culparía a la pérdida de sangre, pero contestaría lo mismo en cualquier otra situación.

[diary-of-a-pretentious-asshole]

worst feeling in the world is finding a fic with perfect tags and then seeing “alpha/beta/omega dynamics”

[diary-of-a-pretentious-asshole]

I like this fuckass show and these fuckass characters

[diary-of-a-pretentious-asshole]

it’s all “mental health matters” until people with personality disorders have disorderly personalities

[diary-of-a-pretentious-asshole]

*fems your spirk*

bonus third-wheel bones:

[diary-of-a-pretentious-asshole]

fun me fact when i was a little girl i used to watch Ella Enchanted a lot, and i hated the prince, because if i was him i would treat Ella sm better

(in reality it was probably just my fat ass crush on Anne Hathaway)

it took me five episodes to realize why i was fuming for no reason when Will was on screen and until the season one finale for me to stop feeling irritated at the sight of him

TLDR: i was so gay as a child that i conditioned myself to feel angry at the sight of Hugh Dancy (pavlov’s dog style)

[diary-of-a-pretentious-asshole]

[diary-of-a-pretentious-asshole]

List of ships/people my grandma agrees with me are gay combined with her own statement:

•Troy and Abed- “Oh my” 🫢

•Ben Affleck and Matt Damon- “Straight women don’t even do that” 😨 and “Are their wives are ok with that?!” 😟

•Spock and Captain Kirk- “Oh yeah, they’re super gay” 😄 and “No wonder my mom didn’t want us watching it” 😆

•House and Wilson- “Aww, that’s sad” 🙁

•Hannibal and Will Graham- “Oh” 😰

•Eve and Villanelle- “Oh” 😰

•Regina and Emma- “How do you keep track of all that?” 🤨 and “Oh” 😰

•Batman and Joker- “Oh” 😰

•Deadpool and Spiderman- “Aww they’re good for each other” 🥰

•James Buchanan & William R. King- “Oh like Abe Lincoln” ☺️

•Susan B. Anthony- “Too bad she’s racist” 🙁

Bonus- People my grandma convinced me are gay + my reaction:

•Abe Lincoln- “His wife was chill” 😼

•Raj and Howard- “You’re so right” 🫢

[diary-of-a-pretentious-asshole]

need me a girl who serves cunt cause i eat that shit up