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[dpkronmiller]

COME ON BARBIE LET GO PATRIARCHY

Something was different.

Yes, here is a huge hit, female directed, female written and female starring - breaking just amazing records. The first live action comedy to break the top 20 biggest opening weekends. First female directed, written and focused film in that top 20. 162 Million dollar opening weekend. Indiana Jones by comparison only did $60 million domestically and that was cherished cinematic IP with a male protagonist. Mission Impossible didn't crack 100 million and it too had a male protagonist. And it wasn't a holiday weekend. Just another weekend dead in the middle of summer with a huge iMax sized competitor in the Nolan film Oppenheimer - which probably did benefit more from Barbie than Barbie did from it in large part thanks to the genius double feature marketing of Barbieheimer. And some people apparently only saw Oppenheimer because Barbie was sold out.

But wait - so the male starring films all under performed? And Barbie DOUBLED Oppenheimer's take??

And worldwide - it's made over $400 million dollars! Surpassing Jones and Impossibley beating Mission Impossible. Already. In it's first week of release.

Every male driven movie this summer, aside from the testosterone filled mustache of Mario, had weak turnout. Yet the narrative from the industry has been that female centered films don't have enough demand. That people won't turn out for a movie about women and girls and for women and girls.

Yet...here we are...Barbie.

But that's not what I mean by different.

The film is unique. It wasn't what I expected. I thought it might be a fish out of water story in the real world like Enchanted. Or have some quest component whereby Barbie would need to find the hidden McGuffin golden slipper or devise some magic potion to stop some great evil from shooting a laser in the sky, again. 

Instead I was met with fantasy. 

A film structured and written as if kids were playing with their Barbies but not just kids - as if kids were playing Barbie with their Moms and their Moms were using the toys to educate their kids on the suffocating yoke of the male patriarchy. 

But entire film felt like one long playdate with the truth.

From how Barbie magically moves to the ground or travels in between worlds - there's an active surreal quality where one action doesn't necessarily need explanation - she just is now on Venice Beach. She's just now in a white void. She's just now in Ben Shapiro's crawl keeping him from his precious beauty sleep.

But that's not what was different.

And though the film was almost a movie about Barbie AND Ken equally, with both having large arcs and equal screen time, where Ken wasn't just a supporting player but seemingly as much of a center of the movie as Barbie - with performances from Robbie and Gosling that were anything but plastic - but that's not what struck me as different...

Something happened in the theatre.

As the credits started to roll...

...normally everyone sits and maybe waits for an end credit scene quietly or simply slips out in silence...

...this time...

...as soon as the credits rolled...

...the whole theatre started talking, chatting, excitedly with each other, there was such a roar that you couldn't hear Billie Elish's whisper singing during the final song in the credits.

I've never really heard that before. That was different. Not Billie Elish’s whisper singing - will somebody please get that poor lady a throat losenge. 

The chatter. The audience was awake.

There was an excitement. An eagerness to digest what they just saw. A glee.

And it was mostly a female audience.

Well I did hear one man explaining what he thought and say the word existential just a lot - there's always one Ken.

But it was different. This film managed to do something new. And it's honesty and straight forwardness and clarity was refreshing. It didn't just speak in metaphor - it at times just out right said the thing that needed to be said - that men needed to hear. And said them several times. Why? Because, speaking as someone who walks between both worlds, sometimes you have to tell a man something more than once for him to get off his ass and take the damn trash out.

And yet it didn't end on women taking control. The goal wasn't vengeance or domination - the goal was acceptance and ultimately...equality. We just aren’t there yet. Huh...a realistic ending to a plastic world.

#barbie 

[dpkronmiller]

THE WE GENERATION

During the Pandemic we all changed. We went through something.

A shared global anxiety.

Sadness. Disconnection. Isolation.

Except for one area.

We all turned on our webcams...

...no not to start OnlyFans accounts...

...well not ONLY to start OnlyFans account...

We went online. Embracing video calling. We started to live our lives through vertical frames and zoom brady bunch grids.

We began to watch each other live. And not in a creepy way.

And we stopped going to the movies.

So our focus changed. We went from craving an escapist movie experience to craving community. Instead of living our lives vicariously through a movie star - we started living through each other.

And we all started seeing how we lived. The unity of the family couch. No one dressing up to impress - everyone dressing down to stay comfortable, secure. In some ways our social masks began to fall as we started using social media more...with filters of course...we were all so beautifully out of focus with amazing lashes.

Our laundry piles were no longer a big shameful secret. We all had them.

So we began to be entertained by each other. Sharing time with each other in a way that we all stopped doing sometime last century. We did zoom comedy - or some of us did zoom comedy - school reunions - family reunions...instead of a text - we facetimed our loved ones. Craving connections.

My daughter would zoom with her friends. They would play online games through Roblox and facetime each other from a parents phone. She spent hours connecting with her friends during the shutdown - and this was after doing school over zoom with her teacher. Her way of connection is now through a lens. She's the filmmaker and star and studio. And it's all happening live!

I love going to the movies. There's nothing like seeing a famous person's pores and giant eyes starring down at you from an enormous silver screen that would make Nicole Kidman blush. Heart break does feel good in a place like this Nicole, and so does the bass hitting you as a superhero blows up the big bad in the 3rd act and either causes a giant laser to shoot into the sky or stops a giant laser in the sky. Either way there will be a giant laser in the sky. There always is a giant laser.

  And that's the problem.

There's a phrase in storytelling and screenwriting - rise and fall. Tension and release.

If you have a movie that is all BAM! BAM! AHHH!!!! for 3 hours, the audience will numb out by the 3rd act. Also true if you have a movie that's just "She died." "When?" "Yesterday, at the hospital, from the disease that caused us to fall in love as we talked slowly over coffee for the last 90 minutes". ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Or my favorite movie - the one where the score has only one note and that note is dystopian sadness where no one is allowed to laugh if they want to still look cool brooding. No jokes! No jokes aloud!

And the same is true for the variety of movies currently in release.

If every movie is a big superhero movie or action film with giant lasers and 2,000+ visual FX artists than you numb out. Every movie kinda hits you the same so why go? What is it about the movie that will make me get to the theatre, really overpay for popcorn and soda, just very a expensive butter vehicle, and spend nearly $80 for my family of 3 to risk getting sick and being disappointed after 3 hours. Oh and let's not forget the nearly 30 minutes of previews that make you sort of forget what movie you were seeing - on second thought that's nice -  kinda makes the movie even fresher for you. You're eyes will light up as you realize, having forgotten, that the movie you are about to see stars Ryan Reynolds. "I had no idea he was in this - what is this movie called again? Oh Deadpool 3! Neat!".

So now, post-pandemic, we're a little pickier when we go to the BAM! BAM! Place with the pricey corn treat. We'd rather scroll through TikToks and Reels and YouTube - watching silly skits, short clips of our favorite comedians, soap cutting videos and pimple popping.

We are the entertainment. Human behavior at it's purest and sometimes - grossest. Straight from the source. Not filtered through a well lit studio set with a million dollar iMax camera but just @theofficialkallmekris for laughs or your friends tiktok where they share their anxieties about entering their 30s deep in debt and alone but ask you to post funny cat memes to cheer them up and you do - because you're that good of a friend damn it. Also you might too need cheering up.

We are the studio.

Right now the OG studios are spending 200 million dollars per movie, with stressful CGI, huge stakes, lots of latex suits and mo-cap characters - when if they just relaxed a little - learned from the audience a bit more - they'd realize that the make believe on that giant screen no longer seems to include - well - us.

I don't have superpowers but I might be able to figure out how to dance the Renegade.

And that would feel like a super power to me.

My best advice to the studios as they stare into the fire of Fran Drescher and the “but he's right though”, Adam Conover* - my advice to them is simply this...

Simplify.

Tell smaller stories. And more of them.

Right now my choices at the theatre are: superhero who's funny or superhero who's sad, a great old actor in a movie for one last ride and no really - that's it - that was his last one - he's 81 ya'll, or Tom Cruise not in a jet. Oh and that really exciting, joy filled Christian movie about trafficking children. And then a movie that's not an action film but a thoughtful movie about scientists intent on blowing up the world in a rousing comedy about the Atomic Bomb. There is a Barbie movie - there is that - but even that seems dystopian as Barbie faces the cold harsh reality of mortality and public shaming. (see next blog for that bombshell)

When I was a kid the multiplex was filled with family adventure films, buddy cop movies, silly slapstick comedies, daring dramas shot on an actual location - like if there was a desert they went to the desert not a sound stage. I know! Right!?! Holy crap! And just a wide range of movie genres, star pairings and they all made you feel great. Want old people in a pool with aliens? Here you go! Want a talking hairy Yoda who's cute until he gets hangry? Voiced by Howie Mandell? How about a pet detective who seems really just mentally very very stable? Or if you want a long one you can go see what it's like to be a burn patient in world war II while people do arial tricks with torches in a desert and that guy from Lost washed his long hair a lot and in the end yeah he dies but the Nazis lose!

No dystopia. No depression. You left the theatre feeling like you got shrunk down, rocketed into space, learned karate, had a great adventure while babysitting after you got out of Saturday detention with your enemies who now, somehow, are your best pals as you head off on horseback to survive the old west all while getting back home in time to hear that your parents are divorcing but your dad is now your nanny.

If studios instead of spending 200 cold ones on one movie spent 20 warm and fuzzy ones on 10 movies that made us feel just all the feelings and were written about, well, us... they'd find we'd be more than willing to pay that $20 for exploded corn!

  Us - not some guy who gets bit by a radioactive billionaire - but parents trying to keep their kids safe and happy, young folks trying to find their way in life, best friends who solve crimes...you know....normal stuff!

But about us.

We are the entertainment.

Not the pixels.**

But us, pimples and all.

*No disrespect to Adam Conover. Adam is a kind human being who I greatly admire. He also has really good hair.

 **Pixels is a much underrated comedy - go see it - it stars another Adam but is written by a great guy named Tim who loves movies more than if Spielberg, Lucas, Scorsese and Marshall were spliced into one giant filmmaking mutant director.

[dpkronmiller]

MY FAVORITE SHOW GOT CANCELLED! NOW WHAT DO I DO?

It’s nearly summer and that must mean only one thing - your favorite show got cancelled and now you’ll never find out who was behind the master plot, how the hero will redeem themselves, and will they or won’t they...

...the characters you fell in love with will be seen no more - ghosting you for eternity, leaving you forever unsatisfied...

Let's have a conversation about network cancellations.

It is 2018, not 1982. It is the "My" or "i" Generation. I watch content when I want to watch it, be it this week, live or in six months when I have time. The shows I watch must fit my mood at the time. For example, a viewer might not have any interest in post-apocalyptic storylines because they want to be cheered up when they watch television and not reminded of the hellscape of their real life. But a year from now, who knows, they might find a week where they have little to watch, life’s improved and they dive right into it needing a good scare. 

Assuming initial ratings are correct is a mistake - not just because broadcast is actually hard to judge who's watching (unlike streaming) - but also because shows might be more popular than the weekly views dictate. Take Brooklyn Nine-Nine. I watched the show but not every week. I just, last week in fact, binged the last five episodes having realized my Hulu subscription had dropped it from my feed as other stuff took over. But Brooklynn Nine-Nine was my go to comedy that fit any mood I might be in. I would save the episodes for when I needed them most not when the network needed me to watch them. I wanted to savor them, like a rare whiskey, sipping it slowly as it warms my soul. Now I have to come to terms with the cold harsh reality that the last sip I saw, was indeed the last.

We are in a transition time in the industry. The dust has yet to settle. The reason Hulu and Netflix and Amazon appeal to people is that we can watch content on our schedule, not on some need to watch it live. 

I have yet to watch Game of Thrones (first season far too much incest and far too few dragons) but I have every intention of watching it some day down the road. Breaking Bad - I watched the first episode and thought it was brilliant, but stopped because it depressed the hell out of me and I didn't need that at the time. Twin Peaks - I stopped watching the last season because it kind of got under my skin and freaked me out, but I love it! - and I will watch it in it's entirety when I have the mental capacity to take it all in. 

This Friday major old shows and newer shows got axed sending hundreds of people into the unemployment line and making fans angry. 

My wife and I enjoyed Deception. The show was light, not challenging, perfect to unwind to. It also had flair for the dramatic, theatricality missing in much of today’s story telling. It turned a crime procedural into a big showy show and had twins and a secret society and even secret passages to boot! Was it perfect? Of course not, no show is. But it entertained us and was something refreshing in a sea of shows that often can make you feel like there’s no point to try tomorrow because zombies are just going to take over anyway after the nukes go off. Now we will never get to find out who Cameron was really being haunted by, who was his great-grandfather really? Will his brother get out of prison? Now we’ll never know.

I get cancelling a show that’s been on the air for many years and might have plateaued. You gave it a shot and the viewers have several seasons to rewatch and new viewers will have those same seasons to discover on VOD down the line. 

When first season shows get cancelled however, especially ones with larger arcs that might take a couple of seasons to conclude, it means that show will NEVER find a new audience. It’s a wasted season. Lost money. No potential to recover. 

The other risk networks make by cancelling young shows it that it might alienate an audience and make them even less likely to watch the fall’s new show. Why watch a new show if it’s just going to get axed? Why invest your emotions and time into something if there’s no guarantee you can finish the story? This means those fall premieres will have lower ratings, with audiences waiting to see if the shows stick around long enough to binge down the line. 

Binging is the new water cooler.

My advice to networks is simply to have an exit strategy with every show. It has to conclude. Take Deception - give it a 90 minute series finale. Spend an extra couple million to assure that you can sell the show as a limited run, a long form mini-series, and you’ll be able to get revenue out of that show for years. You’ll make fans happy, cast and writers happy and let the credits roll without anyone feeling negative. Otherwise the disappearing act of Deception might mean some of your audience disappears too for the fall season premieres. 

UPDATE: NBC picked up Brooklyn Nine-Nine showing that fans, even if they’re not watching every week, still have pull to save a show. 

[dpkronmiller]

THANK YOU RIAN JOHNSON YOU WERE OUR ONLY HOPE

SPOILERS - NOT MANY - BUT SPOILERS THERE BE HERE:

Saw Star Wars The Last Jedi.....

Phenomenal. Correct. Brilliant.

Loved how Luke grew into a Yoda/Kenobi hybrid hermit. Loved the turns and twists that kept me from expecting the expected. So many movies today are straight, boring lines that telegraph their turns in the first scene. Yes we expect happy endings or at least some good triumphing over evil, however the path to those guaranteed endings are often so clear that a 1st generation self driving car couldn’t crash on them.  

And humor. Oh god can we please have more humor in movies. So many films are dull, lifeless and one note with no rise and fall or tension that the only thing surprising in them is that the soda you’re drinking in the theatre costs $7 and the only time your adrenal gland pumps is when you find out that the soda is the cheapest thing at the concession stand.

Those wanting Luke to be an out of the box heroic hero forget how reticent both Kenobi and Yoda were. Without that hesitancy there would actually be no arch. No tension. No obstacles.  No story.

And a torch had to be passed or perhaps tossed over ones shoulder.

And it's not Luke's trilogy - it's Rey's, Finn's and Poe's.

We all have to let go or we'll never get anywhere new again.

What people are really noticing, I think, is that they wish, at some level, that instead of the prequels, George could have given us sequels to fill in the gap and let us see what happened to Han, Leia and Luke while the actors were young enough to tell us those stories. But time passed and we are here where we are.

Overcoming audience expectations of 3 to 4 distinct generations of fans for a world renowned beloved franchise is - well - no one can do that and make everyone happy - it's the kobayashi maru of filmmaking Star Wars is.

But Rian gave me hope. Damn it.

And I need hope. I need optimism.

Today was a religious experience for me.

And yes I know that sounds all shades of lame. Let me explain.

I had lost hope. 

Not just because of the political climate where everyone I love hates each other. I had lost hope in film. I had lost hope in my training. Perhaps hope is the wrong word. Faith. I had lost faith in my training. Every movie that comes out, save for the Marvel films, have been dark, depressing, futures filled with the silence of ideas. No humor. Even Superman is sad.

I do have to admit (and humble brag) - I went to school with Rian. We had one directing/acting class together taught in the Annex at USC where I would forget my lines while doing a scene with him from Resevoir of Dogs as I recall. I looked up to him. He was a couple of semesters ahead of me and seemed mature and focused and patient but ready. 

The film hit me at three levels:

1) As a fan, I was relieved. There are a million ways to make a non-GeorgeLucas produced Star Wars and Rian and Kennedy's was a fantastic direction. I felt Finn, Rey and Poe earned coming together by the end and that now we could tell their story fully. 

2) As a filmmaker from USC, the Jedi Academy, my faith in the force was restored. And by force I mean this simple phrase that defined a generation of us "Reality Ends Here" that was etched in the concrete on the old bridge to the editing suits.  And also defined by a lesson from one of the writing teachers that my friend Chad use to like to torture "You can take your audience into hell, but you can't leave them there." Rian took us out of hell and he did it with good technique, great directing finding humanity and humor in simple moments and being brave enough to carve a new path despite it not being the safest.

3) As a human, it gave me hope that someone else out there sees some light in the darkness. There is something in the glade there after all - I think I see a glimmer.

If all our films are dystopian and sad and all our storytelling simply archetypes without flesh with straight line plots - then where is the new? Where is the surprise? How do we see what we've never seen before if we never allow ourselves to see something new simply because there is comfort in the familiar?

What films are we making that will make children dream of all the possibilities? And speaking of children - as I remember, A New Hope was a coming of age story, and Luke came of age a long time ago, in a galaxy far far away.

It's time for a new ray of hope.

Oh and yeah - of course - the good guys will win in the end of the final movie - we all know that - but how we get there - who is left - what we learn as the characters fail - all of that is why we make and see movies.

My faith has been restored. I look forward to seeing what Rian does next and how Abrams will finish the trilogy. And anyone who thinks Kathleen Kennedy isn't the most badass producer right now doesn't understand how much I'd like her to hire me. ;)

And Rian - thank you for taking me to church or should I say temple - a Jedi one.  

May the force be with you all.

Live long and prosper. ;)

[dpkronmiller]

A KICKSTARTER, A DREAM, A BOMB AND BORIS

I still can’t quite believe it. It’s not real. Did we really raise $10,000 in twenty days? Did that many people actually believe in us? Did we really make a movie?

YES! Yes we did - people actually believed in it! I now feel this immense pressure to make every frame of this film count. The film is “Boris and the Bomb” written by myself and my wife, Jennifer Emily McLean and it was  a kickass experience that kicked our ass in making it. Over the next several weeks I’ll start writing about the production, our ups, our downs, our stresses and our successes - all leading up to the premiere of the films’ Trailer.

What happens when a former KGB agent, who’s defected to the U.S., gets into the backseat of an Uber with a Nuclear Bomb he is trying to dispose of in order to save the world? The answer is “Boris and the Bomb”.

We launched the Kickstarter in the summer of 2016 and it was terrifying. Never before had we asked people to fund a project but this time we had so much going for us already we thought we’d take the chance. We already had several 4K cameras at our disposal thanks to our amazing Cinematographer/Producer Robert J. MacColl. We had professional level sound gear. Actors lined up. A script finished after a last minute rewrite to add in a new character played by the amazing and gracious Faran Tahir who you would recognize from 2009′s Star Trek, Ironman, Once Upon A Time at ABC, Prison Break at Fox and this May - 12 Monkeys on SyFy.

The Kickstarter was intense - nearly a full time job split between my wife and our other amazing producers as we hit up our friends and family on Facebook for donations. We had to make promotional videos - and decided to keep making them throughout the kickstarter to keep people’s interest. We put up storyboard sequences and had the cast do some quick voiceover for the storyboards so you could get a sense of the film and to show that we knew what we were doing. Perhaps our favorite Kickstarter video is this one, where we gave an update and decided to have some fun with our Fight Coordinator, Dante Fernandez, who was also appearing in the film and our star, J. Anthony McCarthy who plays Boris. Enjoy!

We picked a short window to get the funds - partly because that was what was recommended to us as a good strategy but also because we had to get the film in the can quickly - so we picked 22 days. Kickstarter rules stipulate that if you don’t get your goal amount you don’t keep any of it - so as the final weekend came we were worried that we caped out. We had a few hundred more dollars to go but were incredibly close. By Sunday night we were within a hundred dollars. By Monday night, the deadline, we were still behind by $20. It came down to the wire but one of our fans, the awesome Dan Francis, came in at the last minute with the last few bucks to take us over the line. And we did it!

The film stars J. Anthony McCarthy (Agent Carter, The Great Indoors) as Boris, Kavi Ladnier (Heroes, General Hospital) as Maya, Kurt Caceres (Mi Familia/Sons of Anarchy, Prison Break) as Rafael, T.J. Storm (Deadpool, Avatar) as Wallace and introduces Leela Ladnier as Lilly. It also features Molly Hagan (Sully, iZombie) and Pete Gardner (Crazy Ex Girlfriend) along with Sarah Barton, Michael Proctor, Steve Sabo, Rene Aranda, Amy Oakes and Jason Young. I’ll highlight each of them over the next few weeks along with the rest of our amazing cast.

[dpkronmiller]

The Internet Rules of Etiquette: Rule #3

Rule #3: SHARE FAMOUS FOOD. Okay I do care a little if you eat at someplace amazing by someone like a Bobby Flay or something. Share pictures of that lunch, but stop trying to tell me to try the taco stand in Venice. I live in Burbank, that’s too damn far for a taco.

[dpkronmiller]

PROJECT GREENLIGHT 2015 (or how Matt Damon Hates Babies But I Made An Awesome Film w/ My 10 Month Old Baby Anyway)

Matt Damon and Ben Affleck hate babies.

Or at least that’s what I have to assume since my short was not picked to be considered for this years Project Greenlight reboot.

Let me explain.

In August of 2014 my daughter, Zooey, was 10 months old - she had just started to sort of crawl. It wasn’t a full crawl - more an army crawl - her legs would stay extended as she pulled herself forward with her arms as she scooted across the floor - and it was adorable.

This happened to coincide with the relaunch of Project Greenlight with Matt Damon and Ben Affleck on HBO. Normally these would be two completely unrelated things. But in this case I’m a filmmaker and my wife is an actress so...we made a movie.

I had submitted to Project Greenlight back during the original series and got a round or two into the process with a short quirky horror film called “The Signing”, which was about a girl going door to door to get signatures for a film shoot who gets kidnapped by a crazy guy with a Stephen King obsession. They liked my film enough to advance me in the contest. It was awesome, even if I didn’t get picked ultimately to make a movie with them.

This time I found out about the contest really late. Like a week or two before the due date. And they wanted comedies! And I’m a stand-up comic! What synergy!

Now, they allow you to submit some previously produced material but I didn’t have anything I could cut down into 3 minutes that would really work and I loathe when people try to fit a large story in a short time frame. And I wanted to try to tell a good story in 3 minutes - their time limit. So what was I to do?

Well with days left until the deadline I shot a film with a baby. 

Why not?

How hard could it be?

The story was simple. A baby attempts to escape from her crib and home and well - you’ll have to watch the 3 minute short to see how it ends.

The shoot was not so simple.

We had to work around Zooey’s naps and mood. I only allowed a couple of takes for each sequence because I didn’t want  to work her too hard. She was pretty great I have to say though - she’d scoot down the hall - eager to act out the scene. She seemed to get what we were doing.

There’s a shot where she’s crying as we put down a baby gate in front of her - she’s acting - 100% - her mom and I both started to fake cry and she started doing it - right on cue.

I’m proud.

Of course Zooey’s mother and I were talking to her throughout the entire shoot - directing her attention - and though she was a natural - we couldn’t use a stitch of production audio.

Everything you hear in the film was done in post - even the stuff that’s her. I recorded her laughing, sighing and even moving. I had the camera nearby so whenever she started to crawl or do something that matched what we needed in the film - I picked up the camera and recorded the sound.

And we had no crew. Just me, my wife Jennifer McLean and our daughter Zooey.

We shot, edited and did sound on the film in under 5 days - uploading to the Project Greenlight site nearly to the minute from the deadline.

We didn’t make the first cut this year - which is fine - because we got to make a fantastic movie with our daughter even if Matt Damon and Ben Affleck for some reason hate baby movies. ;)

I’m not even sure they saw it to be fair. So maybe they like or even love babies but how am I to know? I can only go on what I know.

The filmmaker that did get picked this year made a movie about a guy cooking and eating a Unicorn - so perhaps cute baby films were not in the cards regardless.

We liked the film we made so much that we’re thinking of starting a business where we make these little films for families- because every kid’s gotta be as easy to work with as my daughter right?

Or I could just direct and write for a living - that would be nice too.

So check out this ode to anti-cynicism we call “The Cradle Redemption”:

[dpkronmiller]

COLBERT CONVERTS LATE NIGHT COVERTLY - ENDING WAR

Stephen Colbert’s stint as host of the Late Show on CBS started this week and like David Letterman before him, he’s changing the format.

David Letterman was an innovator. His brand of humor was off the wall, sometimes surreal and quirky. Top Ten Lists. Stupid Human Tricks. Pet Tricks. Pencils thrown through fake windows. No character sketches. No sing offs. And his monologue was always a bit sly, sometimes political and iconoclastic and always funny.

Colbert’s debut show at the Late Show went even farther. Sure Colbert started with a monologue, but quickly he moved back behind his desk bringing elements of his old show with him as he sat down. He had a split screen with graphics. He did a weird sketch with a demon idol that was trying to get him to pitch the product of the day, some humus. And then, without the guise of a Conservative blowhard to hide behind, went after Donald Trump. This was all before a guest even showed up.

His first guests were an interesting choice. George Clooney and Jeb Bush. Clooney had nothing to promote but did several very funny turns in a fake action film - skewering Tom Cruise along the way. And Jeb Bush was not as boring as I thought he would be. (which is not something you want to hear about a Presidential candidate really)

And though the musical guests were fantastic - I was not familiar with really any of them other than Ben Folds - so when they all first came out on stage to sing “Everyday People” in their own shots as if I was supposed to know who they were - I um - I didn’t. I had no idea. And Ben Folds got barely any screen time and seemed like he was just playing the piano. And he seemed a bit grumpy but that may just be his scraggly beard.

I do wonder though if perhaps other guests would have served Colbert better.

But it’s his first show - and this allows him to grow and evolve and made that first show about Stephen Colbert - not his guests - which is appropriate for his first outing. And it reminds us that Colbert is not like any other host.

Stephen Colbert is one of the first pure actor/sketch performers to sit behind a late night guest. Carson was an MC. Letterman a stand-up. Leno a stand-up. Fallon started as a stand-up. Conan was a writer. Kimmel a DJ.  Arsenio was a stand-up. And his old boss, Jon Stewart - a stand-up as well.

He spent years doing extreme satire so we shouldn’t expect him to be like like any of his predecessors or competitors. Like he said to Jeb Bush “I used to play a narcissistic conservative pundit – now I'm just a narcissist...”

...meaning the channel’s changed, the character’s changed, but Colbert hasn’t.

Some critics are trying to pounce on his ratings. He beat Fallon on his first night but - gasp - lost to Fallon by his second! Oh no! It must mean the end of Stephen Colbert!

Hardly.

Letterman lost to Leno for years and got dismal numbers compared to Colbert’s 4 million average viewers. But this isn’t the Jay Leno/David Letterman era. This is something new entirely.

For those who watched Colbert’s opening night it started and ended the same.

Jimmy Fallon bookends.

And it’s changed late night completely.

There is no more late night wars between hosts. Colbert, Fallon and Conan are friends. Actual friends. Nice people who like and support each other.

The final shot of Colbert’s show was post-credits. Colbert is changing in a locker room as if after a match and two lockers down is...Fallon. Colbert’s locker had a picture of Jon Stewart taped up on the inside like any good locker owning teenager. And Fallon - well he had a Stephen Colbert picture taped up.

And all the late night hosts are accounted for with their own lockers. They’re all in the game together. Maybe sparring in the ring but friends after the match.

An end to the late night wars.

And guess what - we don’t need war - I will watch both shows.

It’s 2015 - I don’t have to choose. I can DVR and Hulu and stream any time I want. I watch clips and episodes of Conan, Kimmel, Fallon and now Colbert. I just add him to my queue.

Welcome to my queue Colbert. It’s about Time.

[dpkronmiller]

CONFESSIONS OF A STAY AT HOME FILMMAKER: WICKED WIDGETS (or how I survived making a web series pilot with no money starring my pregnant wife)

Holy crap it’s done! It’s out! And somebody watched it!

We just finally birthed our latest project, a web series comedy pilot called “Wicked Widgets” about a magical software company and their insane webcam meetings.

And somebody already reviewed us! We got a review! Somebody actually watched it and wrote about it. And they did it in under 140 characters!

Here it is:

They didn’t hate it!

Holy shit! They thought my writing was “not bad”!

I’ll take it!

And that we were “All Cool”. I’ve never been “all cool”. I’m usually socially “out in the cold” to be frank - whoever he is. But never “all cool”. And the writer of the review I think is French so we’re “all cool” with a French accent. How great is that?!

As a stay-at-home, no frills, what budget? filmmaker getting someone to actually view something I’ve done, even as a 20 year vet of the entertainment industry with pretty good street cred, is a bloody miracle.

To get them to watch the whole thing is proof that there may be a great code writer in the sky. To get someone on the internet to review it and to have that person respond with “good idea, writing not bad” instead of “you suck, your writing is shitty” is eye shuttering. It just doesn’t happen.

People on the internet will more likely call you an “idiot” or “moron”, like they’re parroting Donald Trump, rather than tell you something as constructive as, “the sound has to be better”. So I’ll take an “editing is rough” over “your mother’s a whore” any day. 

And the reviewer is right!

We could use higher production values! Oh please! Yes! I beg of you!

When I shot Melissa’s (Jennifer Emily McLean) side of her meeting with Ayriel Hartman’s Yvette - I had no help on the second day - so I had to do everything. We were trying to fake the car moving in the shot with green screen panels taped to the windows. So imagine me behind the camera, rocking the car with my hip, while moving a silver reflector board and all while reading my wife (Melissa) her cue lines and trying to direct and pay attention to what we were getting. In my driveway. I looked nuts. Our neighbors noticed.

I’m now “that guy” in the neighborhood.

It’s not easy shooting without a budget. In your house. Without a crew. With life happening around you. Sick wives. Twisted ankles. Work. Babies. They all happen while you’re making movies.

And yes, all of those things did happen, in addition to a graveyard of burnt out refurbished Macs and a case of the shingles. Yes I got the David Letterman disease.

And during the shoot my wife ended up pregnant. And I’ll admit, that was my fault. So we wrote it into the show and even snuck my daughter into some VFX shots when she was a zygote.

But - my writing was “not bad” according to Web Series Mag. Our idea was “good”. The acting didn’t suck. We were “all cool”.

With a budget I think sound and post issues would be fixed. So...

THEY LIKED US! or at least didn’t hate us...

THEY REALLY THINK THAT WE’RE JUST... OKAY!

WE’RE “OKAY”!

WE’RE “OKAY”!

WE DIDN’T MAKE THEM UNCOMFORTABLE!

THEY DIDN’T CRINGE!

WE WERE “OKAY”!!!

 SO WATCH FOR YOURSELF AND SEE JUST HOW “OKAY” WE ARE:                            

[dpkronmiller]

We made a movie with our 10 month old 12 months ago. Enjoy:

10 month old escape! Cuteness follows!

[dpkronmiller]

I tell ya what - I called it yesterday that Norm MacDonald is even odder as the Colonel than Darrell Hammond - but I gotta say - I have actually had KFC a few times since this campaign started. Well done! A new culinary combination: SNL Alumni and Chicken - well done indeed. So who’s next? Dana Carvey?

[dpkronmiller]

I’m Screaming Mad

I am mad - I am screaming mad.

And  by “mad” I mean  a little bit crazy about the streaming bits and the cultural bites that make up the 1′s and 0′s of our modern life. I’ve knocked around the entertainment industry ever since I incubated at USC’s School of Cinema/Television - which is now called the much more audacious & classy: “School of Cinematic Arts”. That was also back when I bussed tables on T.V.’s spinoff series Saved By The Bell:The New Class. Yes I knew Screech. And yes that is his hair.

I do Stand-Up Comedy now - I tried Stand-Up Drama but no one comes to L.A. Theatre.

I now work in streaming video as a filmmaker and yes - a consultant. I consult. I do. People ask me questions - I answer. Usually about streaming video and how to do it, settings-wise and codec-wise. Sometimes people ask for directions to Disneyland or how to make a souffle. Those people are silly.

Sometimes I act.

I also use to run some quasi-political websites and find myself occasionally sucked back into the political tomfoolery. I got a bit of digital cred when I trolled CNN as an iReporter where I got over 1 million page views and got to swoon a little whenever Wolf Blitzer said my name on air. They don’t call him Wolf for nothing.

I have a toddler - so I don’t sleep and she asks a lot of questions and also wants directions to Disneyland. She already knows how to make a souffle - so that’s covered.

On this tumblr I will write words and those words, when combined, will form sentences. Sometimes punctuation will be used. Sometimes not

Oh and I grew up in a jungle - so sometimes I’ll use words about the Amazon - the real Amazon with trees and piranha - not the one that sends you used electronics.

Now here is a cute photo of my daughter: