draconicpetrichor

[draconicpetrichor]

i'm not sorry to that lady i had the cook kick out at work though. what the absolute fuck made you think it was okay to attempt to PHYSICALLY ASSAULT ME for trying to take your order too fast. literally ACTUALLY go fuck yourself (even though you won't see this)

[draconicpetrichor]

hi y'all sorry about all that that's my bad. went to take my meds and realized my med schedule got FUCKED up this month because i moved from day shift to night shift and i realized i accidentally forgot to take my anxiety medication for like. two weeks

anyway i am so fucking embarrassed i want to crawl into a hole. on the bright side in my anxious nervous heightened(?) state i did block a bunch of tags that were really upsetting me so my dash feels better :)

also if you take the panic attack medication the panic attack does stop. fun fact

[draconicpetrichor]

i used to be extremely anti-endo and then i realized... nah. i have more important shit to worry about than what labels others apply to themselves. i lean pro-endo in the sense that i think everyone deserves compassion and kindness, nobody deserves to be fakeclaimed or made fun of, and origincourse is pointless and hurtful for everybody. the pro-endo community tends to harbor a lot of ableist ideas, misinfo, and things that are blatantly mean/hurtful about recovery, though, so i can't reasonably call myself fully pro-endo. but i'm not neutral, because that feels like a lack of nuance. there's also some really racist, sanist, western-centric, culturally christian undertones in a lot of anti-endo rhetoric and communities and i can't really associate with that either.

this isn't to say i hate all pro-endos or that i hate all anti-endos, it's to say i care more about you as a person than a hyperspecific niche stance. if you're not hurting anyone, not going out of your way to be a dick, and you're respectful, i don't really give a damn what your beliefs are and we're generally chill.

i stick with syscourse unaligned + anyone who's hateful and cruel to others for ANY reason is getting blocked + you can't hate others into being exactly who or what you want them to be + i'm not the identity police.

i also mostly stay out of syscourse anymore because holy shit the entire syscourse community here is so goddamn stressful and miserable. it's like nobody remembers to be kind or civil. truly it's just a vagueposting pissing contest full of people needing to yell how right they are without considering that other people in the tag can be hurt by their words or even that there are other living, breathing people on the other side of your screen. there ARE some good people in the tag but the frequent unreality stuff that isn't censored, the frequent guilt trips, and constant hostility is the majority. so i have humbly decided to stay out of it. my stance is be nice to people. yes, even those people.

also. loose religion talk incoming, just to give an example - feel free to skip this section if you want. i'm a united methodist + have various other spiritual beliefs and i get along just fine with muslim people, jewish people, athiest and agnostic people, et cetera. they don't share my beliefs, i don't share theirs, but the beauty of being here on earth is that we can coexist and be kind to each other regardless. (and no, i do not believe in forcing my beliefs down anyone else's throat. i will not try to convert you.)

but the reason i bring this up is that something i view as having an eternal consequence for me, forever, until the end of time isn't a big deal when it comes to caring about others who don't share the same belief, so i don't really fully grasp why syscourse of all things is so nasty. i'm not saying you have to agree with the other side, i'm just saying kindness and compassion would go a long way for everyone.

Does what syscourse stance you identify with hold importance to you? Is there a reason you see it is important for you to identify that way?

Has your stance ever changed? Is there something that would or could cause it to change in the future?

Please refrain from hate filled attacks against any individual, syscourse stance, or identity. These will be deleted/users blocked.

Feel free to utilize anons for anonymity.

[draconicpetrichor]

i don't know what the fuck is wrong with me. i don't know how to stop feeling like this. i can't calm down. i've been scraping the bottom of the fucking barrel for over a month and coming up with just more reasons to hate myself. i don't know what the fuck to DO. i've TRIED to get help and they WON'T help. it's like nobody fucking CARES because i'm too fucked in the head. now i'm stuck with permanent brain damage and injuries that didn't heal right and an intolerance to every antidepressant on the goddamn market. i'm starting to think i'm not fucking able to be fixed. i keep trying. failing. trying. failing. trying. relapsing. failing. i hate myself. i have no hope. i have barely any desire to try anymore. i don't know where to find it. i'm a bad person and a worse friend. i have no energy. i don't want to do this anymore. i just want somebody to be able to help. but nobody does. and nobody really takes my insurance anyway.

[draconicpetrichor]

i am about to unfollow a lot of people and redo my blog. not because i'm upset with them but because i just. am not doing mentally well enough to engage with certain types of blogs.

i am also just not doing well in general

[draconicpetrichor]

another possible reason for IDing i didn't put in the dragonmarrowed coining post - having had numerous dragon alters from childhood that protected you and were your family but eventually fused with you so now you're not quite a dragon anymore but you were at one point + they are simultaneously your family

special shoutouts to glyph, meridian, and marcus who were The Most Dragon

[draconicpetrichor]

Grumpydoodleprincess

[draconicpetrichor]

Dragonmarrowed

A coining post for people who have a dragon marrowtype, or who feel somewhere between dragonhearted and dragonkin. Some possible reasons for this (taken from linked coining post and dragon-ified) include:

• Having had a past life as a dragon, but not feeling as connected to it in this life

• Rejecting humanity so much that one feels more draconic

• Experiencing notable shifts such as phantom tails, claws, scales, eyes, or other draconic features or behaviors

• Being so connected with dragonhood that the line between identifying "with" and identifying "as" is blurry

• Not understanding the difference between dragonhearted and dragonkin, thus feeling unable to align with either label

The flag colors I chose were green for nature & any land- or mountain-dwelling dragons, blue for water-dwelling or sky-dwelling dragons, white for unity of all draconic folks and feeling like a dragon in one's bones, purple for the mystery surrounding many dragons and for dream/fairy/spirit-related dragons, and gold for empowerment, diversity in the community, and radiance.

Tagging: @rotten-replica @radiomogai

(I've never coined anything before please don't be mean to me 😭)

[draconicpetrichor]

System Ask Game: July!

Theme: Disability Pride!

Note: I’ve provided multiple questions per emoji this time, to allow for those who don’t have a specific experience to play along. Answer as much or as little as you’d like for any question.

🟥 Physical Disability: How do your physical disabilities, if you have any, interact with your systemhood? Do your system members have varying degrees of physical ability?

🟨 Neurodivergence: In what ways does being a system impact the way you think? Do you have any other neurodivergencies that impact your system?

⬜️ Invisible Disability: Before your diagnosis/if you aren’t diagnosed, what was the biggest sign that you were a system? What is an aspect of CDDs that you wish people understood immediately?

🟦 Emotional and Mental Disability: How do your emotional disabilities, if you have any, impact your system? What is your favorite way to regulate your emotions?

🟩 Sensory Disability: Do your system members have varying degrees of senses? How does your sensory disability, if you have one, interact with your systemhood?

⬛️ Ableism: What was a case of ableism you’ve faced? What is a symptom you experience that is the hardest to get people to understand/respect?

🗯️ Activism: What activism have you done in your life that you’re proud of? What would you say to your younger self about your disability, if given the chance?

💡 Light: What is something that gives you hope? What's a tip you’d like to share for managing a disability you have?

🎨 Creativity: What media do you know has a good example of disabled rep? What's a personal favorite creation of yours centered around a disability?

🤲 Care: What disability aids have you found most useful for yourself? What's something you do to care for yourself?

🛜 Accessibility: How could online spaces be more accessible for you? What's a common accessibility issue you find online?

🥄 Analogies: What's a favorite analogy you have for disability? What are your thoughts about Spoon Theory?

👏 Pride: What do you take pride in, as a disabled individual? What's an accomplishment you've had recently that you're proud of?

♿️ Symbolism: What is a symbol you like to use to represent your disability? Do you think iconography to represent your disability would help with awareness?

🤝 Unity: What's a disabled experience you relate to, regardless of if you have that disability? What's one way people can help make the world more accommodating for a disability you have?

[draconicpetrichor]

This disability pride month I'm BEGGING you to acknowledge and care about the people in this community who often fly under the radar when it comes to positivity and information. People who require equipment to live, like ventilators, pacemakers, and feeding tubes. People who are bedbound. People with visible differences. People who have disabilities caused by things like substance abuse, overdose, or self harm. People with conditions so rare that they've never met someone who has the same one. People who need full time care and have to have help to use social media.

If you want to support the community, that means supporting all of the community. Disability pride means being proud of every last one of us, and making sure everyone feels heard. Make sure to amplify the voices of those who need it this month, and ideally for the rest of the year too.

[draconicpetrichor]

using this first day of disability pride month to loudly remind you that "overstimulated" DOES NOT mean "slightly overwhelmed". "overstimulated" DOES NOT mean "tired".

"overstimulated" is for people who have sensory disabilities to describe the extremely painful and distressing event that is sensory overload. it's not cutesy. it's not fun. and it's not for random neurotypical people to use when their social battery dies because that's not what it fucking means.

i am so sick of every term that describes something serious being made into some cutesy, mild, average, tolerable thing that everyone experiences when it's NOT. y'all did this with the term "triggered". y'all did this with the term "gaslighting". y'all keep doing this shit to neurodivergent folks and you need to stop.

sincerely, a fucking exhausted and pissed auDHD person.

[draconicpetrichor]

"sysmed-supreme" and yet this asshat refuses to acknowledge medically treated and recovered systems in their fight for exclusionism. what a goddamn joke LMAOOOO.

anyway how do you do fellow systems?

[draconicpetrichor]

and what about those of us who have been in recovery and in therapy for over a decade and no longer experience horrific levels of stress or dysfunction? are we suddenly not people with DID just because we've put in the work?

imagine being so "pro recovery" or whatever you come full circle and exclude functional multiplicity, fused multiples, etc.

couldn't be me.

anyway, i highly advise you to go touch grass. 💚 have a nice day

If your "system" functions like a well-oiled machine with no distress, no dysfunction, and full cooperation between all members at all times, congratulations! You’ve invented a fantasy. DID and OSDD are disorders because they cause impairment. If your experience doesn’t fit that, then stop insisting it’s the same thing.

This isn’t about exclusion. It’s about accuracy.

[draconicpetrichor]

i'm joining the art fight on the side of the dinos. live laugh dinosaur

i should be able to do more this year since i have my own tablet now. i have a couple profiles to tweak before the fight begins, but i'd love to follow some people back and find some attack material!

https://artfight.net/~expressionbean

[draconicpetrichor]

i fucked up my shoulder somehow. hooray. /sarcasm

i'm gonna try to get through the rest of my shift today riding on icyhot and prayers and then put my arm in a sling tomorrow and then if it's STILL hurting monday i'll go to urgent care

[draconicpetrichor]

might fuck around and make intros for everyone because why not

[draconicpetrichor]

MOOTS ASSEMBLE.