e-dubbc11
e-dubbc11
Just Here To Escape Reality For A Bit….
7K posts
Quirky nicknames aside, my friends call me Ericca, yes with 2 C’s. 35+, Wife, Mother, and Nerd, especially for MCU. I mainly write fluff, a little smut, and angst for Billy Russo, Matt Murdock, Brock Rumlow, Dean Winchester and a few other miscellaneous characters. Things I post and reblog generally aren’t for minors (18+ please)Thoughts/Masterlist
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e-dubbc11 · 5 days ago
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What to do if You Don’t Like an Author’s Fanfic or Take on a Trope:
Stop reading.
Find another fanfic that is more suitable to your tastes.
Read that one instead.
Bonus tip If you’re considering sending the author unsolicited messages about how much you disliked their fic, consider one of the following options instead:
Don’t.
Get a life.
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e-dubbc11 · 5 days ago
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Jensen Ackles as Mark Meachum COUNTDOWN (2025) [x]
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e-dubbc11 · 5 days ago
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Boyd Holbrook as Clement Mansell in Justified: City Primeval - Episode 3 'Backstabbers' and Episode 4 'Kokomo'
It's been 2 years since Justified: City Primeval premiered!
As a part of a 2-Year Anniversary of Justified: City Primeval. And I'll just repeat what I said/wrote in my 2-Year Anniversary post.
The episode 3 aired on July 25, 2023 and episode 4 on August 1, 2023 in the US.
First of all, I wanna give a huge thanks to the J:CP producers, creators or just the people responsible for casting Boyd as Clement in this! Casting Boyd in J:CP is the best choice/decision ever made, really! And also, I'm so, so happy that Boyd took/accepted the offer to play Clement Mansell!
Boyd Holbrook portrayed Clement Mansell to an absolute perfection! He did an outstanding job, just like always does! Phenomenal performance! He is excellent from the very first scene (the intro, really, the best intro scene I've ever seen) to the very last (still difficult for me to watch the last scene, the moment Raylan shoots Clement)! Also, to see and hear Boyd singing and dancing too in J:CP is a true gem! And after couple of, well, probably multiple times (I lost count) rewatching J:CP, I still can't get enough of Boyd's brilliant performance! Boyd truly deserved an award or at least a nomination for his work as Clement Mansell in Justified: City Primeval! People just don't see the true talent. Boyd is so underrated. He is a true talent! People just don't see it.
Also, Justified: City Primeval holds a special place in my heart. Clement Mansell is one of my absolute favorite of Boyd's characters and performances.
And now, I know I keep saying this but I'll never get tired of it so I'm gonna say that again!
Boyd is such a phenomenal and true actor! Such an exceptional talent! Such a lovely and kind person! Nice guy! Precious and wonderful human being with a huge heart! Handsome man! And I love him so much and admire him so much! And I'm so proud of him! There you go, I said it, I said it again because it's true! Deal with it! ❤️🌟🔥🥰😍❤️‍🔥
BOYD HOLBROOK IS A LEGEND!
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e-dubbc11 · 5 days ago
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Bringing this here so you all can lose your damn minds like I did. 💪🏻
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e-dubbc11 · 5 days ago
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Jensen Ackles | EW Cover Story, July 15, 2025 [x]
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e-dubbc11 · 5 days ago
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He's so adorable 🥰❤️
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e-dubbc11 · 5 days ago
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Jensen Ackles as Mark Meachum, 'Countdown' promotional photo, episode 1.07 "Nothing Else Helps".
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e-dubbc11 · 5 days ago
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e-dubbc11 · 5 days ago
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That nonsexual intimacy of just being in each other's spaces, of gravitating towards each other, always subconsciously reaching out to each other. Finding comfort and satisfaction in being close to each other, breathing each other in, existing together.
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e-dubbc11 · 6 days ago
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Love this, especially this line…
“You were in my way.���
It made me laugh, sounds like something I would say. I love the thought of Billy being with someone he can be playful with, kind of gives him a small piece of his childhood back
Nicely done, my friend♥️♥️♥️
Texting with Billy pt 1;
warnings; fem!reader, abandonment/attachment issues, fluff.
I’m playing around with a series of text posts. We’ll see. Btw, the character referred to in Dragon Age is Iron Bull.
tagging; @e-dubbc11 @terry2227 @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes @snowkestrel @aoi-targaryen
x
You:
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Billy stared at your text, amusement bubbling to the surface, something Frank caught as they both headed to the showers after working out for a few hours at the gym Anvil after hours. It got his aggression out.
He didn’t want to come home to you angry, you were sensitive, he’d hurt you before, and god he wished you’d yell at him, it would be easier than the distance.
“Your girl?” asked Frank, drinking his water, sweating worse than Billy.
Billy huffed, closing his phone, “She’s bein’ ridiculous.” He said, though inside he was waiting for the shoe to drop. It always did. You were too good to be true.
Billy: says the girl who’s been romancing that guy with the antlers in Dragon Age behind my back. 😤
You: they’re horns. And are you jealous of a computer character? 🤣
Billy: You're getting a spanking when I get home, mark my words.
You sent another meme and he almost choked on his Gatorade, and laughed.
You:
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Billy: sweetheart, I’m grounding you. No antler guy for a week. I’ll delete your saves.
You: you’re just mad you don’t have the horns. They’re majestic. Like your flat ass. 😇
Billy laughed, you were always quick witted, and warm. He dried himself after his shower, feeling a flutter in his stomach with anticipation at seeing you.
He wondered when he’d gotten attached to the girl who nearly ran him down in the street on a bicycle trying to get to work at the library. You’d been late. “You were in my way.”
And now here he was attached. Attachments were a weakness, and now he found himself entangled in you. He’d always told himself he’d never settle down. Why, when he had the looks to have whoever he wanted.
He grabbed his phone.
Billy: I’ll be home soon.
You: drive like you stole it. 💜
You were incorrigible, he thought, a warm feeling in his belly.
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e-dubbc11 · 6 days ago
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I know…he doesn’t think sometimes but we try to love him anyway.
Thank you for reading and sharing lovely friend! ♥️
The Heart That Hurts You
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The photos aren’t mine. They are courtesy of Pinterest/Google
Pairing: Billy Russo x F! Reader
Warnings: Angst, a lot of it. Crying, a lot of it. Swearing. Little bit violent. Mention of a gun.
Word Count: 2132-ish
Summary: Your weekly Wednesday night dinner with Billy at your apartment takes an unexpected turn. After asking him what you thought was an innocent question, it escalates into a full blown fight that ends with you making him leave. He tries everything to try and get you back, but you’re not ready. Surprise ending. Part 1 of 2
A/N: I had a difficult time coming up with a title for this one so I’d like to thank my sweet sweet Lily @munsonownsmyass for coming to my rescue! I’ve been writing a LOT of fluff lately, mostly because that’s really all I got 🤣 but I felt I was due for some angst so I hope you guys like it.
As always, thank you for reading!  I appreciate it so much and comments, reblogs are welcome and encouraged. Don’t be shy to tell me your favorite part. 💕💕 💕
A lone piece of broken glass eluded your cleanup efforts in the aftermath of your fight with Billy because it was now lodged in the bottom of your foot. You managed to retrieve it without wincing too much. After pulling the glass out, you held it up to the light, pinched in between the tweezers, covered in blood and the tears began forming in your eyes.
You still loved him, with all your heart, you loved him but you weren’t going to let him do things like this, even if it meant leaving. No, that’s not how you were going to be treated.
He immediately regretted it as soon as he threw the glass, the shock and horror on his face was apparent after he had let go. It was too late though, he couldn’t take it back. You had never seen him so angry, so broken, or hurt that you would even ask that question.
And it wasn’t as if you were accusing him of cheating or questioning where he was last night, no, nothing like that. It was just, what you thought was, an innocent question. Why was he still going out on dangerous jobs as the CEO of his company? You had no idea he would react that way, how could you?
Billy Russo was a marine, a soldier, a combat veteran. In his words, that’s all he knew how to be. You knew that wasn’t true, he was so much more than he gave himself credit for. He started Anvil to give veterans an opportunity to continue their service but for a private contractor rather than being property of the United States government.
He did it because he understood some veterans feel they have no purpose after their service time is over, and he wanted to give them one. He cared about them and wanted to give them a chance if they felt like they still had work to do.
He had been working on himself to be a better boyfriend to you, a better CEO, and a better man. Billy tried very hard, for you but also for himself. He had overcome so much in his life but he still had slip-ups. This was a big one though, one you couldn’t let slide.
8 Weeks Ago
It was an ordinary Wednesday night, Billy always came over on Wednesdays and he brought Chinese food and wine with him. He set the table, the two of you had dinner and the conversation was great.
Billy was getting better at communicating to you how he felt or just communicating in general. But the conversation took a turn you weren’t expecting, and suddenly you didn’t recognize the person in front of you.
“Why do you still go out on dangerous jobs though, baby?” You asked him.
His expression became cold, he pressed his lips together and asked softly but through gnashed teeth “How could you even ask me something like that, y/n? Do you have any idea how important those jobs are for me? For my sanity? To be able to keep my shit together? Do you?!!”
And you don’t remember a lot of what happened after that or maybe you just didn’t want to remember. There were a few flashbacks of Billy getting angry, yelling, and the final straw of him throwing the wine glass and it shattering against the cabinet.
He didn’t throw the glass at you, he threw it off to the side, when it hit the cabinet, the pieces broke off in different directions, and one piece cut your chin slightly in the process. You were speechless, horrified, and your heart was completely broken. He didn’t mean it, you knew he didn’t but it didn’t matter. Billy needed to know he couldn’t just say “I’m sorry” and everything would be ok.
“Get out, Billy.” You calmly said.
“Baby, I’m so—“ He made a motion towards you when he saw the blood on your chin.
You cut him off. “I’m only going to tell you one more time before I call the police. Get…out…I don’t want to see you right now.”
“Sweet girl, please!” He pleaded with you.
Your voice would have broken if you didn’t compose yourself long enough to yell. “NOW BILLY!!”
He knew you meant what you said and as much as he wanted to hold you, kiss you, and apologize to you, Billy grabbed his suit jacket, looked at you one last time and walked out of your apartment.
After he left, everything you had been holding inside had risen to the surface, the tears started flowing, your whole body was shaking and you could barely hold yourself up.
He was gone.
Billy tried to call, you ignored him. He sent texts, you ignored those too and he also tried showing up at your office to get you to talk to him. You weren’t ready. He tried sending flowers but you threw them in the trash and he even tried sending you cards in the mail. But somehow, those didn’t get thrown away, they just sat in a pile on your coffee table, unopened.
At night, sometimes you would sit on your couch in silence with the soft glow of the city lights as your only light inside your apartment, holding one of the cards in your hand, smiling a little at his terrible handwriting, and wondering what was on the inside.
What could he possibly have to say for himself? He’s sorry and he misses you? He loves you? What is it? All you had to do was open one up and find out but you couldn’t do it, every time you tried your hand would begin to shake uncontrollably and you couldn’t bring yourself to open it.
The only thing you could do was stare at the tear stains you had made on them, your vision blurred from the tears to the point where you couldn’t even read your name anymore. And you’d gently place it back onto the table, still unopened.
Then there were the dreams. Billy invaded your dreams every night good or bad, he would be there, as soon as you’d close your eyes you would see his face. His rich, deep brown eyes were like freshly turned soil after the rain, gazing at you full of love and adoration.
No one ever showed you love quite like Billy did, kissing your shoulder every morning before even opening his eyes, leaving messages on the mirror after taking a shower, your initials along with his carved into a tree in Central Park, which was probably illegal but so sweet. You would dream about those things all the time.
Sometimes you had bad dreams and he was in those too. They were always the same, they were from that night. The arguing, the yelling, and glass everywhere, it was just on repeat in your mind all the time. Only in your dreams would you remember what was actually said that night, his words slipped into your heart like a piece of broken glass, they cut you deep and you wondered if the bleeding would ever stop.
“You want me to stop the only thing I know how to do, don’t you!! You just want me to sit behind a desk and not do anything to help my team!” He had said.
The words he shouted at you broke your heart, not because he was yelling at you but because, that wasn’t the only thing Billy knew how to do and you knew that. He was smart, there were other ways he could help veterans while running his company and not put himself in the middle of dangerous jobs all the time.
“That is NOT what I’m saying, Billy and you know that! That’s not the only thing you know how to do!” You remember saying and never at any point did he frighten you but he had crossed the line.
He started pacing, pinching the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger then pointing at his chest before shouting at you. “I’m a marine, y/n!! That IS all I know how to do and this fancy suit doesn’t change that! It doesn’t change what I did over there, it doesn’t! I need these jobs just as much as the vets I hire, do! I can’t give that up!”
That’s when the wine glass torpedoed into the cabinet, the pieces ricocheted in all directions and that’s always when you would wake up with that same tight feeling in your chest you had when it actually happened. Billy wasn’t there to comfort you like he usually did if you had a bad dream, you wanted him to be, even though he was the reason you were having them.
Present Day—Inside Billy’s Office
Billy sat at his desk, his eyes were half closed and the circles underneath his eyes were dark purple, he hasn’t slept in weeks. The knock on the door jolted him awake and Frank stuck his head inside.
“Hey Bill—can I talk to you for a minute?” Frank sounded concerned. He took one look at Billy and knew he hadn’t been sleeping, or eating. “You look like shit, by the way.”
“Thank you, Frankie—you ready for the job tonight?” Billy asked.
Frank sat down in the chair across from Billy. “Yeah see, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about—I don’t think you should go out tonight. I think maybe you should sit this one out or be our long shot across from the building—I know you miss her, I do, but you can’t protect other people if you’re not on top of your game, yeah? He’s a senator, we can’t fuck this up.”
Billy looked at Frank and leaned forward in his chair. “I appreciate your concern, Frankie, I do but I’m fine, alright? I’m fine. I’m always on the ground.”
Frank knew Billy wasn’t fine but he also knew Billy wasn’t going to let anyone tell him what to do or how to do it. Billy was the best marine Frank had ever seen but he was going to keep a close eye on his friend tonight.
Your Apartment—Later on that Night
You took a little extra time with your nighttime routine, you washed and dried your hair, and in addition to your skincare you used a sheet mask for extra hydration. The air had been a little drier than usual so you used an all over body lotion also. Next, you spent more time looking for something to watch on tv than actually watching anything before ultimately just deciding to make it an early night and go to bed.
Before heading to your bedroom, you held Billy’s unopened cards in your hands again. You felt like a part of you was missing, you wondered what he was doing tonight, if he was ok, or if he was thinking about you. He was on your mind every minute of every day.
The past 8 weeks hadn’t been easy for you, crying every single night, leaving work in the middle of the day because you couldn’t concentrate on anything except him, and not really wanting to be around your friends because you didn’t want them to see you like this.
You weren’t making excuses for what he did because it was wrong but you understood why he reacted the way he did, you just wanted him to see himself the way you see him and for him to be safe. He thinks all he’ll ever be is a marine but he has such a big heart, he loves what he does and it wasn’t your intention to try and take that away from him.
You closed your eyes, gently kissed the envelope, and left it on the coffee table before heading off to bed.
It was the first time in a long time you had fallen into a deep sleep, so deep in fact that your phone buzzing scared you awake. Your eyes couldn’t even focus on the name “Billy” or his handsome face that appeared anytime he called so you just hit the answer button.
“Hello?” You said, your voice was raspy.
The voice on the other side wasn’t Billy’s. “Hey sweetheart.”
“Frank? What time is it? What’s going on?” You were wide awake now, you sat bolt upright in bed, and your heart was in your throat.
“Frank!? What happened!?” There was a sinking feeling in your stomach and you felt like you couldn’t catch your breath.
There was a long pause on the other end of the phone before Frank spoke again. And the words that came out next were the ones you hoped you never had to hear.
“It’s Bill, sweetheart—he’s been shot.”
Tag List: @mindidjarin @saintmurd0ck @wheresthesunshinesblog @rafaelakelley @idaoftheburningmind
If you’d like to be added to (or removed from) my tag list for the ever so handsome Billy Russo, just let me know and thank you again for reading! 💕
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e-dubbc11 · 6 days ago
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Thank you for reading and sharing, lovely! ♥️
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Father’s Day
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Photos are not mine. They are courtesy of Pinterest/Google.
Pairing: Tattoo Artist Billy Russo x F! Reader
Warnings: Mostly fluffy bunnies and unicorns and some PG-13 smexy time. Mentions of abandonment.
Word Count: 2.4K-ish
Summary: It’s Billy’s first Father’s Day with two kids and Little Raven told her mother she wanted to do something special for her Dad
A/N: This was a request from my darling friend @jvanilly who has followed this series from the get-go. Thank you for the ask and I hope you like what I did here. Oh and thank you @bartonsparrow25 for beta reading this one for me and for helping me with the moodboard pics! You’re the best! ♥️ Part of The Sweetest Pain Series.
As always, thank you for reading!  I appreciate it so much and comments, reblogs are welcome and encouraged. Don’t be shy to tell me your favorite part. 💕💕 💕
The kids were asleep, your company had gone home, and the dishwasher had completed its cycle. The house was finally completely silent.
After your shower, you went looking for Billy. Since he wasn’t in your bedroom, you knew there was a pretty good chance that he was in his art studio. You noticed a warm light coming from the next room as you tiptoed into the doorway. Leaning against the doorframe as you tended to do when you tried to sneak up on him, always failing miserably, you saw he was just staring at something that you couldn’t quite make out.
“Always tryin’ to sneak up on me, huh sweet girl?” He asked softly.
You smiled and replied, “Maybe I’ll get you one day.”
“Not likely, baby. But I’m not gonna stop you from tryin’.” Said Billy.
“Whatcha lookin’ at, handsome?” You asked, wrapping your arms around his torso.
Billy reached out and pulled the picture off the wall. It was one of the first art projects Anna had done at daycare. It was two upside down hand prints and above them, it said “Best Daddy, Hands Down.”
“Remember this?” Billy asked with a slight smile.
Your lips curled into a smile.
“Awww, your first homemade Father’s Day present.” You replied. “She was so excited to give it to you. I think she was two.”
“Never thought I’d ever become a father.” Whispered Billy.
It wasn’t that long ago that your husband was just your tattoo artist and friend. Now, several years and two kids later, he was still adjusting to the fact that he was a husband and he now had two smaller pieces of him that he was trying his hardest to be a good father to.
“Tomorrow will be your first father’s day with TWO kids. I know Dylan made you something at daycare and Little Raven showed me what she made for you in preschool.” You said, clasping your hands together behind Billy’s neck.
Billy touched his forehead to yours. It was always such a comfort for him when he did because it made him feel safe and it was a sign of trust between the two of you. Gently, he pressed his lips to yours and snaked his hands around your waist, pulling you flush to his body as the warmth radiated through his black t-shirt against your soft skin.
“I love you.” Said Billy in a hushed tone.
Your lips curled into a warm smile and replied, “I love you too, baby.”
Billy’s dark chocolate eyes looked worrisome.
“Am I a good father, sweet girl?” He asked with a slight hitch in his voice.
You delicately raked your nails against his scalp as he relaxed his shoulders and rested his hands on your hips.
“Of course you are, Billy. I know Dylan is still really young but both of the kids are always so happy to see you when you come home from work. No matter how tired you are, you never brush them off. You sit and draw with Anna or watch a movie with her, you make funny noises to try and make Dylan laugh. They love you, baby. You’re a great dad.” You replied, brushing his beard with your thumb.
A shy smile stretched across Billy’s lips. He’d never admit it but he loved the praise you gave him, loved to hear that he was doing a good job, and that you and the kids just adored him. His smile was all of the admission you needed to see.
“I think I’m ready for bed now, beautiful.” Said Billy with a wink.
You knew what that meant.
“Race ya, lieutenant!” You exclaimed.
As you turned to run out of the room, Billy hip checked you to get out of the room first and make it to your bedroom before you could even get out of his studio.
He was sitting on the edge of the bed when you walked in with a slight scowl on your face. Billy was hyper competitive and he’d never, under any circumstances, let anyone win, not even his four-year-old daughter. So he definitely wasn’t going to let you win a foot race to the bedroom.
Glaring at him, pointing one finger in the air, you rhetorically asked him, “Did you just HIP CHECK me, Mr. Russo?”
“Well, you would have won if I didn’t.” He said, flashing you that million-dollar smile and inching up toward the middle of the bed.
“Oh you are sooooooo lucky you’re cute, my love.” You replied, straddling him.
Billy’s hands immediately traveled to your ass, as he gently nipped along your jaw and down the sides of your neck. He mapped the rest of your body with his talented fingers, sending sharp tingles down your spine as he grazed the soft skin of your lower back.
“You know I can’t just LET you win, sweet girl. Can I make it up to you?” He asked, as he pressed his lips against the sculpted hollow of your throat.
“I’m listening…how?” You asked, pushing his hair back that had tumbled into his eyes.
His lips collided with yours, parting them with his tongue to tangle with yours as he rolled until you were underneath him and his hips were pressed firmly against you.
“What if I hip check you in a different way?” He asked, gently thrusting his hips against you.
Billy’s hardening length pressed against your core as he peppered gentle kisses down your neck. A wet spot immediately formed on your panties and his hand traveled along your outer thigh while goosebumps erupted across your exposed skin.
His lips were suddenly on yours again.
Smiling against his lips, you said, “I suppose I can allow that. I love you, Billy.”
The corners of his mouth curled into a warm smile as Billy replied, “I love you too, my little firecracker.”
And with another kiss, he covered your body with his own.
**********
While putting Anna to bed last night, you reminded her that the next day was Father’s Day and that you all should do something special for Billy to which she suggested making him breakfast. Little Raven had always been an early riser so when she woke up the next morning, she quietly crept into your bedroom to wake you up, being very careful not to wake her father.
A lot of children were very heavy on their feet even just walking but not Anna. Like her father, she was very light on her feet and she was up even before Dylan. It was very early but it was the perfect time to start breakfast.
“Coffee is the most important part, right Mommy?” She asked, pointing at the coffee maker.
She learned that from her dad.
“Did Daddy tell you that, Little Raven?” You asked with a slight smile, picking up the stepstool and placing it on the floor next to the counter.
Anna answered, “Daddy said if you don’t have it, you a bear.”
She flashed a sly smile at you like she was getting away with saying something bad.
You couldn’t help but chuckle because he wasn’t wrong but he was just as bad with needing a caffeine boost every morning so you made sure that coffee was the first thing you prepared. Of course you let Little Raven push the button.
“Well, Daddy isn’t wrong. Mommy does love her coffee but so does Daddy. Breakfast is gonna taste extra yummy because you helped me make it. You ready?” You asked.
Anna squealed with excitement and clapped her hands.
“Ready, Mommy!”
Placing your finger in front of your lips, you said, “Sssshhhh, let’s try and keep quiet so Daddy and Dylan can sleep some more, ok?”
Little Raven whispered back with a big smile, “Ok, Mommy.”
Even when Anna could barely walk, she always wanted to help you with whatever you were doing so she was very excited to help make her dad his Father’s Day breakfast.
She helped you line up the bacon on the baking sheet, getting it ready to bake in the oven. She sprayed water everywhere after you showed her how to rinse the strawberries and then she wanted to make pancakes.
“Daddy likes pancakes. Look how big this one is, Mommy!” She said excitedly.
“Yes, that is a big one, isn’t it. See how the bubbles are popping right there? That’s how you know it’s time to flip it, ready?” You asked, guiding the spatula in her little hands, getting ready to turn it over.
“Ready!” Said Anna.
“Aaaaaaand….Ta-da! Good job, baby girl!” You said with praise.
She was so excited.
“I did it!” Shouted Anna.
Just as you added the pancake to the pile, Billy walked into the kitchen carrying Dylan.
“What’s goin’ on in here?” Asked Billy with a wide smile.
Anna’s face lit up, her smile stretched from ear to ear as she took off running toward her dad. Grabbing onto his leg, she squeezed him tightly.
“HI DADDY!!” She said, her tiny voice was full of excitement.
You took Dylan so Billy could pick up Anna.
“Hey, little miss. What are you and Mommy doin’?” Billy asked, kissing Anna on the forehead.
“Remember what we practiced this morning, Little Raven?” You asked.
She nodded and you both said simultaneously, “HAPPY FATHER’S DAY, DADDY!”
“Me and Mommy made you breffast!” Said Anna.
Billy’s lips curled into a wide smile as he replied, “It smells sooooo good, baby. Did you make coffee too?”
“I pushed the button! Don’t worry, Mommy had some.” She said, then loudly whispered into Billy’s ear, “She’s not a bear.”
You and Billy got a good laugh out of that one.
“Yes, thank you for telling our child that I can be a bit grouchy without my coffee, baby. I appreciate that.” You said.
Billy inched closer to you, “I’ll take it back if you can tell me it’s not true.”
“Well I can’t do that but neither can you, handsome.” You said, kissing him on the cheek as the bristles of his beard tickled your lips.
“Very true, my love.” He said with a wink.
Anna eagerly asked, “You ready to eat, Daddy?”
“I am, little miss. I’m starving.” Replied Billy, placing her back onto the floor.
Watching Billy eat breakfast with his children warmed your heart, made you smile, and even had you laughing at times. Anna tried sneaking pieces of bacon off of her father’s plate while Billy was feeding Dylan his scrambled eggs which he was still very skeptical of but reluctantly ate them anyway.
With a lot of help from his daycare teachers, Dylan made Billy a picture. It was his hand print made into a fish with a fishing pole next to it that said “Hooked on Daddy.” At the bottom was his name and the date.
Billy’s present from Anna was a rock that she painted and her teachers helped her paint “Dad Rocks” on it. On the other side was her name and the date.
He loved his gifts and Anna loved giving him his present. The innocence and pure joy in her eyes that were just like her father’s was a memory that would stay with you forever. You were both trying very hard to be good parents to your children because you and Billy knew what it was like to have mothers that didn’t deserve to be celebrated in any way.
They were both selfish and had abandoned their children because you weighed them down in one way or another and you never ever wanted to do that to your own children. You didn’t ever want them to know what that feels like, how it stays with you no matter how much you say you’ve moved on, and how it still hurts when you think about what they did to you.
You didn’t want that for them.
“You like your breffast, Daddy?” Asked Little Raven.
Billy answered with a smile, “I do, baby. You and Mommy did such a good job and thank you for my rock.”
“You rock, Daddy.” She said, flashing her father’s smile right back at him.
Billy was speechless. The praise you gave him yesterday was reinforced by his eldest child, the one who made him a father, his little girl.
“Thank you, baby girl.” He replied with a hitch in his voice.
Anna turned to you and asked, “I go color now, Mommy?”
“Yes, baby. You can go color. Wipe your hands first.” You replied.
You gave Billy a sly smile, a smile that silently said “I told you so.”
“I know that look, sweet girl. Go ahead, say it.” Said Billy.
Dylan was still in his high chair when you moved over to sit in Billy’s lap.
“I told you that you were a good dad. You believe me now, handsome?” You asked, gently pressing your lips to his.
Billy returned your kiss, tangling his fingers in your hair, and he smiled against your lips. As you raked your fingers against his scalp, he relaxed his shoulders and buried his head like a cat into where your neck meets your shoulder.
“Maybe a little.” Said Billy.
You questioned, “A little? Your daughter just told you that you rock and you got our little man to eat all of his eggs today. Most of the time, I can’t get him to do that. So you should believe me, my love…and believe your kids.”
Billy was quiet, at a loss for words, and thinking about what he wanted to say.
“We’re not like them are we, sweet girl.” He said in a relieved tone.
And by “them,” you knew who he was referring to.
Your mother had abandoned you in a similar yet different way than Billy’s. She left you and your brother to be raised by your father and started a new family with a new husband and a new baby. Even though your relationship was better today, that feeling of loneliness or “why wasn’t I enough,” was always there and always would be there.
You and Billy weren’t perfect parents, no one is. You’ve made mistakes but you wanted to be better than they were to you. And your children were proof that you were doing a pretty good job so far.
They were happy.
You replied with a warm smile, “No we’re not, baby. We’re nothing like them.”
Tag List: @rafaelakelley @snowkestrel @fictional-hooman @k-marzolf @gijos @nutmeg17 @vaguekayla @danzer8705 @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes @aoi-targaryen @mysteriouslydeafeningwerewolf @rachlovesactors @sweetserendipity65 @bartonsparrow25
Others that might enjoy: @itwasthereaminuteago @fluffyprettykitty @jvanilly @ittybxttykxttytxtty @imagine-a-fictional-boyfriend @colereads @jediwizardelf @thejanecampaign @milea @folkloreofyennefer @mysweetlittledesire @mrsalwayswrite @madelynneb @serenamultifandom @amora-morozova @onceupona-happilyeverafter-love @briannareneea985 @operation-spot @banksyjots
If you’d like to be added to (or removed from) my tag list for the ever so handsome Billy Russo, just let me know and thank you again for reading! 💕💕💕 If I tagged you but didn’t want to be, just let me know and I’ll never do it again
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e-dubbc11 · 6 days ago
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That part hit me hard too when I wrote it, Katherine. The description of the readers mother is pretty exact when it comes to my reality so I know what it’s like too. ♥️
Thank you for reading and sharing as always my darling friend, I appreciate you! ♥️♥️♥️
Father’s Day
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Photos are not mine. They are courtesy of Pinterest/Google.
Pairing: Tattoo Artist Billy Russo x F! Reader
Warnings: Mostly fluffy bunnies and unicorns and some PG-13 smexy time. Mentions of abandonment.
Word Count: 2.4K-ish
Summary: It’s Billy’s first Father’s Day with two kids and Little Raven told her mother she wanted to do something special for her Dad
A/N: This was a request from my darling friend @jvanilly who has followed this series from the get-go. Thank you for the ask and I hope you like what I did here. Oh and thank you @bartonsparrow25 for beta reading this one for me and for helping me with the moodboard pics! You’re the best! ♥️ Part of The Sweetest Pain Series.
As always, thank you for reading!  I appreciate it so much and comments, reblogs are welcome and encouraged. Don’t be shy to tell me your favorite part. 💕💕 💕
The kids were asleep, your company had gone home, and the dishwasher had completed its cycle. The house was finally completely silent.
After your shower, you went looking for Billy. Since he wasn’t in your bedroom, you knew there was a pretty good chance that he was in his art studio. You noticed a warm light coming from the next room as you tiptoed into the doorway. Leaning against the doorframe as you tended to do when you tried to sneak up on him, always failing miserably, you saw he was just staring at something that you couldn’t quite make out.
“Always tryin’ to sneak up on me, huh sweet girl?” He asked softly.
You smiled and replied, “Maybe I’ll get you one day.”
“Not likely, baby. But I’m not gonna stop you from tryin’.” Said Billy.
“Whatcha lookin’ at, handsome?” You asked, wrapping your arms around his torso.
Billy reached out and pulled the picture off the wall. It was one of the first art projects Anna had done at daycare. It was two upside down hand prints and above them, it said “Best Daddy, Hands Down.”
“Remember this?” Billy asked with a slight smile.
Your lips curled into a smile.
“Awww, your first homemade Father’s Day present.” You replied. “She was so excited to give it to you. I think she was two.”
“Never thought I’d ever become a father.” Whispered Billy.
It wasn’t that long ago that your husband was just your tattoo artist and friend. Now, several years and two kids later, he was still adjusting to the fact that he was a husband and he now had two smaller pieces of him that he was trying his hardest to be a good father to.
“Tomorrow will be your first father’s day with TWO kids. I know Dylan made you something at daycare and Little Raven showed me what she made for you in preschool.” You said, clasping your hands together behind Billy’s neck.
Billy touched his forehead to yours. It was always such a comfort for him when he did because it made him feel safe and it was a sign of trust between the two of you. Gently, he pressed his lips to yours and snaked his hands around your waist, pulling you flush to his body as the warmth radiated through his black t-shirt against your soft skin.
“I love you.” Said Billy in a hushed tone.
Your lips curled into a warm smile and replied, “I love you too, baby.”
Billy’s dark chocolate eyes looked worrisome.
“Am I a good father, sweet girl?” He asked with a slight hitch in his voice.
You delicately raked your nails against his scalp as he relaxed his shoulders and rested his hands on your hips.
“Of course you are, Billy. I know Dylan is still really young but both of the kids are always so happy to see you when you come home from work. No matter how tired you are, you never brush them off. You sit and draw with Anna or watch a movie with her, you make funny noises to try and make Dylan laugh. They love you, baby. You’re a great dad.” You replied, brushing his beard with your thumb.
A shy smile stretched across Billy’s lips. He’d never admit it but he loved the praise you gave him, loved to hear that he was doing a good job, and that you and the kids just adored him. His smile was all of the admission you needed to see.
“I think I’m ready for bed now, beautiful.” Said Billy with a wink.
You knew what that meant.
“Race ya, lieutenant!” You exclaimed.
As you turned to run out of the room, Billy hip checked you to get out of the room first and make it to your bedroom before you could even get out of his studio.
He was sitting on the edge of the bed when you walked in with a slight scowl on your face. Billy was hyper competitive and he’d never, under any circumstances, let anyone win, not even his four-year-old daughter. So he definitely wasn’t going to let you win a foot race to the bedroom.
Glaring at him, pointing one finger in the air, you rhetorically asked him, “Did you just HIP CHECK me, Mr. Russo?”
“Well, you would have won if I didn’t.” He said, flashing you that million-dollar smile and inching up toward the middle of the bed.
“Oh you are sooooooo lucky you’re cute, my love.” You replied, straddling him.
Billy’s hands immediately traveled to your ass, as he gently nipped along your jaw and down the sides of your neck. He mapped the rest of your body with his talented fingers, sending sharp tingles down your spine as he grazed the soft skin of your lower back.
“You know I can’t just LET you win, sweet girl. Can I make it up to you?” He asked, as he pressed his lips against the sculpted hollow of your throat.
“I’m listening…how?” You asked, pushing his hair back that had tumbled into his eyes.
His lips collided with yours, parting them with his tongue to tangle with yours as he rolled until you were underneath him and his hips were pressed firmly against you.
“What if I hip check you in a different way?” He asked, gently thrusting his hips against you.
Billy’s hardening length pressed against your core as he peppered gentle kisses down your neck. A wet spot immediately formed on your panties and his hand traveled along your outer thigh while goosebumps erupted across your exposed skin.
His lips were suddenly on yours again.
Smiling against his lips, you said, “I suppose I can allow that. I love you, Billy.”
The corners of his mouth curled into a warm smile as Billy replied, “I love you too, my little firecracker.”
And with another kiss, he covered your body with his own.
**********
While putting Anna to bed last night, you reminded her that the next day was Father’s Day and that you all should do something special for Billy to which she suggested making him breakfast. Little Raven had always been an early riser so when she woke up the next morning, she quietly crept into your bedroom to wake you up, being very careful not to wake her father.
A lot of children were very heavy on their feet even just walking but not Anna. Like her father, she was very light on her feet and she was up even before Dylan. It was very early but it was the perfect time to start breakfast.
“Coffee is the most important part, right Mommy?” She asked, pointing at the coffee maker.
She learned that from her dad.
“Did Daddy tell you that, Little Raven?” You asked with a slight smile, picking up the stepstool and placing it on the floor next to the counter.
Anna answered, “Daddy said if you don’t have it, you a bear.”
She flashed a sly smile at you like she was getting away with saying something bad.
You couldn’t help but chuckle because he wasn’t wrong but he was just as bad with needing a caffeine boost every morning so you made sure that coffee was the first thing you prepared. Of course you let Little Raven push the button.
“Well, Daddy isn’t wrong. Mommy does love her coffee but so does Daddy. Breakfast is gonna taste extra yummy because you helped me make it. You ready?” You asked.
Anna squealed with excitement and clapped her hands.
“Ready, Mommy!”
Placing your finger in front of your lips, you said, “Sssshhhh, let’s try and keep quiet so Daddy and Dylan can sleep some more, ok?”
Little Raven whispered back with a big smile, “Ok, Mommy.”
Even when Anna could barely walk, she always wanted to help you with whatever you were doing so she was very excited to help make her dad his Father’s Day breakfast.
She helped you line up the bacon on the baking sheet, getting it ready to bake in the oven. She sprayed water everywhere after you showed her how to rinse the strawberries and then she wanted to make pancakes.
“Daddy likes pancakes. Look how big this one is, Mommy!” She said excitedly.
“Yes, that is a big one, isn’t it. See how the bubbles are popping right there? That’s how you know it’s time to flip it, ready?” You asked, guiding the spatula in her little hands, getting ready to turn it over.
“Ready!” Said Anna.
“Aaaaaaand….Ta-da! Good job, baby girl!” You said with praise.
She was so excited.
“I did it!” Shouted Anna.
Just as you added the pancake to the pile, Billy walked into the kitchen carrying Dylan.
“What’s goin’ on in here?” Asked Billy with a wide smile.
Anna’s face lit up, her smile stretched from ear to ear as she took off running toward her dad. Grabbing onto his leg, she squeezed him tightly.
“HI DADDY!!” She said, her tiny voice was full of excitement.
You took Dylan so Billy could pick up Anna.
“Hey, little miss. What are you and Mommy doin’?” Billy asked, kissing Anna on the forehead.
“Remember what we practiced this morning, Little Raven?” You asked.
She nodded and you both said simultaneously, “HAPPY FATHER’S DAY, DADDY!”
“Me and Mommy made you breffast!” Said Anna.
Billy’s lips curled into a wide smile as he replied, “It smells sooooo good, baby. Did you make coffee too?”
“I pushed the button! Don’t worry, Mommy had some.” She said, then loudly whispered into Billy’s ear, “She’s not a bear.”
You and Billy got a good laugh out of that one.
“Yes, thank you for telling our child that I can be a bit grouchy without my coffee, baby. I appreciate that.” You said.
Billy inched closer to you, “I’ll take it back if you can tell me it’s not true.”
“Well I can’t do that but neither can you, handsome.” You said, kissing him on the cheek as the bristles of his beard tickled your lips.
“Very true, my love.” He said with a wink.
Anna eagerly asked, “You ready to eat, Daddy?”
“I am, little miss. I’m starving.” Replied Billy, placing her back onto the floor.
Watching Billy eat breakfast with his children warmed your heart, made you smile, and even had you laughing at times. Anna tried sneaking pieces of bacon off of her father’s plate while Billy was feeding Dylan his scrambled eggs which he was still very skeptical of but reluctantly ate them anyway.
With a lot of help from his daycare teachers, Dylan made Billy a picture. It was his hand print made into a fish with a fishing pole next to it that said “Hooked on Daddy.” At the bottom was his name and the date.
Billy’s present from Anna was a rock that she painted and her teachers helped her paint “Dad Rocks” on it. On the other side was her name and the date.
He loved his gifts and Anna loved giving him his present. The innocence and pure joy in her eyes that were just like her father’s was a memory that would stay with you forever. You were both trying very hard to be good parents to your children because you and Billy knew what it was like to have mothers that didn’t deserve to be celebrated in any way.
They were both selfish and had abandoned their children because you weighed them down in one way or another and you never ever wanted to do that to your own children. You didn’t ever want them to know what that feels like, how it stays with you no matter how much you say you’ve moved on, and how it still hurts when you think about what they did to you.
You didn’t want that for them.
“You like your breffast, Daddy?” Asked Little Raven.
Billy answered with a smile, “I do, baby. You and Mommy did such a good job and thank you for my rock.”
“You rock, Daddy.” She said, flashing her father’s smile right back at him.
Billy was speechless. The praise you gave him yesterday was reinforced by his eldest child, the one who made him a father, his little girl.
“Thank you, baby girl.” He replied with a hitch in his voice.
Anna turned to you and asked, “I go color now, Mommy?”
“Yes, baby. You can go color. Wipe your hands first.” You replied.
You gave Billy a sly smile, a smile that silently said “I told you so.”
“I know that look, sweet girl. Go ahead, say it.” Said Billy.
Dylan was still in his high chair when you moved over to sit in Billy’s lap.
“I told you that you were a good dad. You believe me now, handsome?” You asked, gently pressing your lips to his.
Billy returned your kiss, tangling his fingers in your hair, and he smiled against your lips. As you raked your fingers against his scalp, he relaxed his shoulders and buried his head like a cat into where your neck meets your shoulder.
“Maybe a little.” Said Billy.
You questioned, “A little? Your daughter just told you that you rock and you got our little man to eat all of his eggs today. Most of the time, I can’t get him to do that. So you should believe me, my love…and believe your kids.”
Billy was quiet, at a loss for words, and thinking about what he wanted to say.
“We’re not like them are we, sweet girl.” He said in a relieved tone.
And by “them,” you knew who he was referring to.
Your mother had abandoned you in a similar yet different way than Billy’s. She left you and your brother to be raised by your father and started a new family with a new husband and a new baby. Even though your relationship was better today, that feeling of loneliness or “why wasn’t I enough,” was always there and always would be there.
You and Billy weren’t perfect parents, no one is. You’ve made mistakes but you wanted to be better than they were to you. And your children were proof that you were doing a pretty good job so far.
They were happy.
You replied with a warm smile, “No we’re not, baby. We’re nothing like them.”
Tag List: @rafaelakelley @snowkestrel @fictional-hooman @k-marzolf @gijos @nutmeg17 @vaguekayla @danzer8705 @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes @aoi-targaryen @mysteriouslydeafeningwerewolf @rachlovesactors @sweetserendipity65 @bartonsparrow25
Others that might enjoy: @itwasthereaminuteago @fluffyprettykitty @jvanilly @ittybxttykxttytxtty @imagine-a-fictional-boyfriend @colereads @jediwizardelf @thejanecampaign @milea @folkloreofyennefer @mysweetlittledesire @mrsalwayswrite @madelynneb @serenamultifandom @amora-morozova @onceupona-happilyeverafter-love @briannareneea985 @operation-spot @banksyjots
If you’d like to be added to (or removed from) my tag list for the ever so handsome Billy Russo, just let me know and thank you again for reading! 💕💕💕 If I tagged you but didn’t want to be, just let me know and I’ll never do it again
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e-dubbc11 · 8 days ago
Text
Through writing, we can always try and heal the broken ones. Thank you for reading a sharing, lovely. I appreciate it♥️
To Love You More
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Photos are not mine. They are courtesy of Pinterest/Google.
Pairing: Billy Russo x F! Reader
Warnings: mentions of Billy’s abandonment, love confessions, maybe a swear word or two, fluffy bunnies and unicorns
Word Count: 2.3K-ish
Summary: Billy shows up at your apartment drunk. You’re surprised at what he has to tell you.
A/N: Based off of the song To Love You More by Celine Dion (don’t you judge me 🤣, the violin in it is really pretty) Sunday mornings are my alone time so I was food prepping and serenading my dog when the song came on so I continued to sing to her and this idea popped in my head. I hope you like it ♥️
As always, thank you for reading!  I appreciate it so much and comments, reblogs are welcome and encouraged. Don’t be shy to tell me your favorite part. 💕💕 💕
The three loud raps against your door startled you.
The noise scared you bad enough to cause you to toss some of your popcorn onto the floor. You managed to regain control of your wine glass before you dropped that onto the floor too. Pausing the movie, you placed the bowl and wine glass onto the coffee table and cautiously walked over to the door.
The clock on the microwave read 1:25 AM.
The three knocks came again along with a voice you recognized. “B-baby you awake?” He boomed from the other side of the door.
“Billy? Is that you?” You asked, relaxing a little when you heard your boyfriend’s voice.
“C-can y-you lemme in s-sweet girl? P-please? I-I f-feel like I’m gonna f-fall over.” He slurred.
Oh boy…
Billy had an event for his company, Anvil, tonight. As CEO, he had to make an appearance but by the sounds of it, he stayed a little longer than he probably should have.
Your relationship with Billy was still somewhat new; he hadn’t asked you to accompany him to one of these events yet and you were using the term “boyfriend” loosely.
The two of you spent a lot of time together but you just assumed he didn’t want to put a label on it and you couldn’t shake the feeling you were just setting yourself up for a heartbreak because you knew a lot of men like Billy…and dated them. They didn’t have relationships or want them; they just played with you until they were ready to move on.
But unless Billy was an exceptionally good actor, he really seemed like he was having a lot of fun with you and in turn, you were having a lot of fun with him. More than anything, you wanted this relationship to work because he made you feel loved even if he hadn’t said it out loud.
You opened the door. Billy stood leaning against the doorframe; his tie was loose around his neck. Normally perfectly styled, his ebony colored hair was slightly tousled and grazed the top of his eyebrows, and the top buttons on his crisp white dress shirt were undone. He still looked incredibly handsome.
Billy’s cheeks were flushed from the chilly winter air as he greeted you with that familiar million-dollar smile. His eyes were halfway open and you could still smell the bourbon on his breath as he pinched your chin and gave you a slightly sloppy kiss.
“W-well don’t you look a-adorable!” He exclaimed.
You chuckled a little and bit back a smile because you were just wearing pajama pants and a ribbed tank top. It wasn’t anything special.
“I-I had that work th-thing tonight.” He said, gliding into your apartment and trying not to lose his balance. “I-I might ha-have had a little tooooooo much to drink.”
“Yes, it does seem like you had one too many.” You said, biting back a slight smile. “Come on, lieutenant. Can you make it over to the couch?”
Billy started to carefully walk over to the couch when he looked down and noticed your spilled popcorn.
“Y-you sp-spilled some, baby. Oh shit…d-did I sc-scare you when I knocked on the d-door?” He asked, trying his best to not slur his words.
“A little.” You replied. “But it’s ok. What are you doin’ here, Billy?”
After removing his jacket, you helped Billy sit down. His long, slender fingers grazed the skin of your lower back when he lifted the hem of your tank top as he planted himself on your couch. Shivers danced up and down your spine while goosebumps sprinkled across your exposed skin. His touches always burned your skin in the most delightful way, every time.
“I-I just missed youuuuu. Y-you shoulda come w-with me tonight. Oh, I-I probably should have asked you to come with m-me.” He said, nervously.
It had to be the alcohol making him say all this but it made your heart swell to hear that he missed you.
Making sure he was seated firmly on the couch, you tried to let go of his hand to walk away. “I’m gonna get you some water and ibuprofen, I’ll be right back.”
Billy didn’t let go of your hand.
“I scared y-you tonight, huh. I g-guess I just scare everyone. Anyone that tries to get close, I p-push them away. I p-pushed my mother away too, ya know. Sh-she didn’t want me either.” He said, his voice a little steadier.
Billy didn’t talk much about his childhood. You knew he was a product of the system but he didn’t elaborate on that after he told you. That was the first time he had ever mentioned his mother to you.
Crouching down in front of him, you looked into his eyes, brushed the bristles of his beard with your thumbs and replied, “You haven’t pushed ME away, baby. I’ll always want you.”
With his other hand, he pushed back the hair that had fallen into his eyes so he could get a better look at you. His mouth split into a shy smile as he leaned in to touch his forehead to yours. The scent of bourbon was on his lips as he softly pressed them against your freshly cleansed skin and you inhaled the aroma of his spicy cologne.
“I-I don’t want to push you away, my love. I’ve waited a long time for you.” Whispered Billy. “Y-you let me be…me. I love you, y/n.”
Billy didn’t know what he was saying; he couldn’t have meant that. The alcohol flowing through his veins clearly allowed him to talk freely and tell you things that he never told anyone else. You thought maybe he would later regret doing that but it was too late now.
“Ok, you’ve had a lot more to drink than I thought and I know you don’t mean that but I’ve told you before, you can always be yourself with me, Billy. I will never judge you.” You said in barely more than a whisper as his eyelids became heavy and you coaxed him to swing his legs up onto the couch. “Lie back for me, baby. Thaaaaat’s it…”
“No, I really do mean it y/n!” Said Billy, in a slightly elevated tone.
“Oooooook, time to get some sleep, soldier.” You replied, playfully.
He was asleep before his head hit the pillow. His lean body was fully stretched out with one hand resting on his chest, the other was draped off the side with his knuckles barely skimming the floor as you gingerly covered him with a blanket.
Before turning off the living room lamp, you watched Billy sleep for a few minutes, stroking his handsome face with your knuckles and you warmed his skin as you lightly pressed your lips to his cheek and then to his lips.
He didn’t move.
In the gathering darkness, before going to your bedroom, you whispered in Billy’s ear, “I’m always here for you, Billy. I love you too…goodnight my love.”
Your pillow cradled your head as you stared up at the ceiling, thinking about Billy’s confessions to you that left you wondering if he meant any of what he had said and would he remember any of it? If you were to put any money on it, you would have said he wouldn’t remember any of it, deny that he even said anything, or blame the alcohol and he didn’t mean a word of it.
Before drifting off to sleep, a slight smile stretched across your lips. He came to you wanting nothing more than to tell you that he missed you, that he wanted you by his side tonight and upset with himself that he didn’t ask. With zero hesitation, you would have said yes.
Well…there was always next time.
**********
Your eyes lightly fluttered opened and closed again as the mattress dipped underneath you. A warm body spooned up behind you and Billy kissed your bare shoulder. A handful of hours must have passed as the early morning sky was just starting to lighten. He must have stripped down to his boxer briefs because you felt his skin touch yours as his long arms wrapped around your waist.
Humming into your ear, he kissed the spot where your neck meets your shoulder. You loved when he did that and a soft moan of his name escaped your lips as a reflex.
“Mmmmm…Billy.” You said.
Billy buried his head into your neck like a cat, desperately wanting to be as close as he possibly could to you. He gripped you tightly, possessively like he was afraid to let you go as he purred into your ear, “You meant it, right baby? That you’ll always be there for me?”
In the liquid darkness, you turned to face him. You couldn’t see him with the exception of some of his features. His lips were close to yours as he repeated, “I heard you. You said you’d always be there. I’m not making that up, right?”
Slowly, you extended your hand, reached for him, and started to gently rake your nails against his scalp as you replied, “Of course, Billy. As long as you want me, I’m here baby.”
“As long as I want you?” He questioned. “As long as YOU want ME!” He said.
Billy’s lips crashed against yours, his hands tightly gripped your waist, your lips parted as his tongue slipped into your mouth, wanting to tangle with yours. His raven colored hair glided in between your fingers and you could feel a trace of his smile against your lips as he continued to kiss you in the softly filtered glow of your bedroom.
After and holding you in a firm embrace, he told you about his mother and it wasn’t a mystery anymore of why he didn’t trust people, or why he didn’t let anyone get too close. He was afraid of being abandoned again.
Billy never wanted to feel the way he did standing outside that fire station, a scared little boy wondering what he did wrong for his mother to leave him and never come back. It wasn’t his fault and you made sure to tell him that he did not push her away. That was all her doing.
As he spoke, you wondered if Billy could ever completely forgive his mother for what she did. And if he could, he’s a much better person than you are because you could never forgive her for that. The dull ache in your chest persisted as you felt your heart break for him.
Billy was a child, he didn’t deserve to be treated that way, but she earned everything she got in return. She didn’t deserve a second chance, not after abandoning her own child like she did.
The stars slowly disappeared as the sky started to brighten. And in that early morning light, you could finally see Billy’s dark eyes fixed on yours, like he was waiting until he could actually see you to say what he wanted to say next.
“I know you thought I was too drunk or that I didn’t mean it but I do mean it, sweet girl. I love you. I’ve never told anyone about her except you because I feel like—“ Billy said then paused.
It was a struggle for him to tell you how he really felt but he was trying and you could never fault him for wanting to be better.
He continued.
“I feel like I can…trust you.”
Love and trust…those were two things Billy never thought he’d ever experience. You’ve never given him a reason not to trust you. He said it earlier…”You let me be…me.” If he wanted to talk, you would let him and no matter how much or how little he wanted to say, that was enough for you.
Even though he had trouble verbalizing how he was feeling, he would show you how much he cares with a surprise cup of coffee at work in the middle of the day, or a donut from the place down the street because you “like their sprinkles,” a walk in the park on a warm sunny day, or reading to you because he knows you love listening to his voice.
Those were just a few of the ways Billy Russo expressed his feelings for you. Deep down in the pit of your stomach, you knew he meant what he said. Those three little words he never expressed until tonight…to anyone.
Feeling the warmth of his skin, you inched closer to him and his gentle exhale brushed against your lashes; you gave him a warm smile and gently pressed your lips to his.
“I love you too, baby. And you can trust me that no one will ever love you more than I do.” You said softly against his lips.
The night blackened window of your bedroom had started to brighten with the sun attempting to break through the small space in between your curtains as you held each other in silence.
Sometimes words weren’t always necessary. Actions speak volumes and really attest to someone’s feelings and intentions toward you. Putting his trust in you helped to pick up the pieces of Billy’s broken heart and carefully put it back together again.
Billy didn’t say anything else and he didn’t have to. The way his lips crushed against yours, how he lovingly kissed every inch of you, his fingers tracing all the curves and hollows of your body, and how gentle he was when he caressed your face…there wasn’t any doubt in your mind now that Billy Russo adored you, that he only wanted to be with you, and more than anything, that he loved you.
I’ll be waiting for you
Here inside my heart
I’m the one who wants to love you more
You will see I can give you
Everything you need
Let me be the one to love you more
Tag List: @wheresthesunshinesblog @rafaelakelley @idaoftheburningmind @snowkestrel @fakehappy27 @music-indie-tv @fictional-hooman @kayhi808 @munsonownsmyass @gijos @celestialend @k-marzolf @nutmeg17 @rosaleenablack @vaguekayla @qu1etwolf @danzer8705 @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes @mysteriouslydeafeningwerewolf
Others that might enjoy: @itwasthereaminuteago @fluffyprettykitty @jvanilly @imagine-a-fictional-boyfriend @ittybxttykxttytxtty @russosafehaven @mrsbillyrusso
If you’d like to be added (or removed from) my tag list(s) for the ever so handsome Billy Russo, just let me know and thank you again for reading! 💕💕💕 If I tagged you but you didn’t want to be, just let me know and I’ll never do it again.
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e-dubbc11 · 8 days ago
Text
I’m glad it brings you joy! It’s such a fun, fluffy series! Thank you, my lovely friend! I appreciate you! ♥️♥️♥️
The Sweetest Pain Series
Tumblr media
Photos are not mine. They are courtesy of Pinterest/Google.
Pairing: Tattoo Artist Billy Russo x F! Reader
Warnings: Each part has its own set of warnings
Summary: You and your tattoo artist have been friends for 6 years and finally admit you have feelings for each other. Parts 1-3 include their first date, a little jealousy, and eventually a little bundle of joy.
PART 1
PART 2
PART 3
Anna
Come in Raven, This is Blackbird
The Sweetest Christmas
A Little Raven Thanksgiving
Snow Day
A Work of Art
Scene from Anna: Billy’s POV
Scene from Anna: Frank’s POV
Memory from Come in Raven, This is Blackbird: Anna’s POV
Warm Kisses, Cold Skin
Son of the Sea
Anything for You
Always Her Hero
Happy
The Perfect Summer
The Fight for Her Affection
Be Like You
No One Needs to Know
He’s Not So Little Anymore
Hey, Pumpkin
Heartbreaker
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e-dubbc11 · 8 days ago
Text
Thank you for sharing! I really appreciate it! ♥️
Father’s Day
Tumblr media
Photos are not mine. They are courtesy of Pinterest/Google.
Pairing: Tattoo Artist Billy Russo x F! Reader
Warnings: Mostly fluffy bunnies and unicorns and some PG-13 smexy time. Mentions of abandonment.
Word Count: 2.4K-ish
Summary: It’s Billy’s first Father’s Day with two kids and Little Raven told her mother she wanted to do something special for her Dad
A/N: This was a request from my darling friend @jvanilly who has followed this series from the get-go. Thank you for the ask and I hope you like what I did here. Oh and thank you @bartonsparrow25 for beta reading this one for me and for helping me with the moodboard pics! You’re the best! ♥️ Part of The Sweetest Pain Series.
As always, thank you for reading!  I appreciate it so much and comments, reblogs are welcome and encouraged. Don’t be shy to tell me your favorite part. 💕💕 💕
The kids were asleep, your company had gone home, and the dishwasher had completed its cycle. The house was finally completely silent.
After your shower, you went looking for Billy. Since he wasn’t in your bedroom, you knew there was a pretty good chance that he was in his art studio. You noticed a warm light coming from the next room as you tiptoed into the doorway. Leaning against the doorframe as you tended to do when you tried to sneak up on him, always failing miserably, you saw he was just staring at something that you couldn’t quite make out.
“Always tryin’ to sneak up on me, huh sweet girl?” He asked softly.
You smiled and replied, “Maybe I’ll get you one day.”
“Not likely, baby. But I’m not gonna stop you from tryin’.” Said Billy.
“Whatcha lookin’ at, handsome?” You asked, wrapping your arms around his torso.
Billy reached out and pulled the picture off the wall. It was one of the first art projects Anna had done at daycare. It was two upside down hand prints and above them, it said “Best Daddy, Hands Down.”
“Remember this?” Billy asked with a slight smile.
Your lips curled into a smile.
“Awww, your first homemade Father’s Day present.” You replied. “She was so excited to give it to you. I think she was two.”
“Never thought I’d ever become a father.” Whispered Billy.
It wasn’t that long ago that your husband was just your tattoo artist and friend. Now, several years and two kids later, he was still adjusting to the fact that he was a husband and he now had two smaller pieces of him that he was trying his hardest to be a good father to.
“Tomorrow will be your first father’s day with TWO kids. I know Dylan made you something at daycare and Little Raven showed me what she made for you in preschool.” You said, clasping your hands together behind Billy’s neck.
Billy touched his forehead to yours. It was always such a comfort for him when he did because it made him feel safe and it was a sign of trust between the two of you. Gently, he pressed his lips to yours and snaked his hands around your waist, pulling you flush to his body as the warmth radiated through his black t-shirt against your soft skin.
“I love you.” Said Billy in a hushed tone.
Your lips curled into a warm smile and replied, “I love you too, baby.”
Billy’s dark chocolate eyes looked worrisome.
“Am I a good father, sweet girl?” He asked with a slight hitch in his voice.
You delicately raked your nails against his scalp as he relaxed his shoulders and rested his hands on your hips.
“Of course you are, Billy. I know Dylan is still really young but both of the kids are always so happy to see you when you come home from work. No matter how tired you are, you never brush them off. You sit and draw with Anna or watch a movie with her, you make funny noises to try and make Dylan laugh. They love you, baby. You’re a great dad.” You replied, brushing his beard with your thumb.
A shy smile stretched across Billy’s lips. He’d never admit it but he loved the praise you gave him, loved to hear that he was doing a good job, and that you and the kids just adored him. His smile was all of the admission you needed to see.
“I think I’m ready for bed now, beautiful.” Said Billy with a wink.
You knew what that meant.
“Race ya, lieutenant!” You exclaimed.
As you turned to run out of the room, Billy hip checked you to get out of the room first and make it to your bedroom before you could even get out of his studio.
He was sitting on the edge of the bed when you walked in with a slight scowl on your face. Billy was hyper competitive and he’d never, under any circumstances, let anyone win, not even his four-year-old daughter. So he definitely wasn’t going to let you win a foot race to the bedroom.
Glaring at him, pointing one finger in the air, you rhetorically asked him, “Did you just HIP CHECK me, Mr. Russo?”
“Well, you would have won if I didn’t.” He said, flashing you that million-dollar smile and inching up toward the middle of the bed.
“Oh you are sooooooo lucky you’re cute, my love.” You replied, straddling him.
Billy’s hands immediately traveled to your ass, as he gently nipped along your jaw and down the sides of your neck. He mapped the rest of your body with his talented fingers, sending sharp tingles down your spine as he grazed the soft skin of your lower back.
“You know I can’t just LET you win, sweet girl. Can I make it up to you?” He asked, as he pressed his lips against the sculpted hollow of your throat.
“I’m listening…how?” You asked, pushing his hair back that had tumbled into his eyes.
His lips collided with yours, parting them with his tongue to tangle with yours as he rolled until you were underneath him and his hips were pressed firmly against you.
“What if I hip check you in a different way?” He asked, gently thrusting his hips against you.
Billy’s hardening length pressed against your core as he peppered gentle kisses down your neck. A wet spot immediately formed on your panties and his hand traveled along your outer thigh while goosebumps erupted across your exposed skin.
His lips were suddenly on yours again.
Smiling against his lips, you said, “I suppose I can allow that. I love you, Billy.”
The corners of his mouth curled into a warm smile as Billy replied, “I love you too, my little firecracker.”
And with another kiss, he covered your body with his own.
**********
While putting Anna to bed last night, you reminded her that the next day was Father’s Day and that you all should do something special for Billy to which she suggested making him breakfast. Little Raven had always been an early riser so when she woke up the next morning, she quietly crept into your bedroom to wake you up, being very careful not to wake her father.
A lot of children were very heavy on their feet even just walking but not Anna. Like her father, she was very light on her feet and she was up even before Dylan. It was very early but it was the perfect time to start breakfast.
“Coffee is the most important part, right Mommy?” She asked, pointing at the coffee maker.
She learned that from her dad.
“Did Daddy tell you that, Little Raven?” You asked with a slight smile, picking up the stepstool and placing it on the floor next to the counter.
Anna answered, “Daddy said if you don’t have it, you a bear.”
She flashed a sly smile at you like she was getting away with saying something bad.
You couldn’t help but chuckle because he wasn’t wrong but he was just as bad with needing a caffeine boost every morning so you made sure that coffee was the first thing you prepared. Of course you let Little Raven push the button.
“Well, Daddy isn’t wrong. Mommy does love her coffee but so does Daddy. Breakfast is gonna taste extra yummy because you helped me make it. You ready?” You asked.
Anna squealed with excitement and clapped her hands.
“Ready, Mommy!”
Placing your finger in front of your lips, you said, “Sssshhhh, let’s try and keep quiet so Daddy and Dylan can sleep some more, ok?”
Little Raven whispered back with a big smile, “Ok, Mommy.”
Even when Anna could barely walk, she always wanted to help you with whatever you were doing so she was very excited to help make her dad his Father’s Day breakfast.
She helped you line up the bacon on the baking sheet, getting it ready to bake in the oven. She sprayed water everywhere after you showed her how to rinse the strawberries and then she wanted to make pancakes.
“Daddy likes pancakes. Look how big this one is, Mommy!” She said excitedly.
“Yes, that is a big one, isn’t it. See how the bubbles are popping right there? That’s how you know it’s time to flip it, ready?” You asked, guiding the spatula in her little hands, getting ready to turn it over.
“Ready!” Said Anna.
“Aaaaaaand….Ta-da! Good job, baby girl!” You said with praise.
She was so excited.
“I did it!” Shouted Anna.
Just as you added the pancake to the pile, Billy walked into the kitchen carrying Dylan.
“What’s goin’ on in here?” Asked Billy with a wide smile.
Anna’s face lit up, her smile stretched from ear to ear as she took off running toward her dad. Grabbing onto his leg, she squeezed him tightly.
“HI DADDY!!” She said, her tiny voice was full of excitement.
You took Dylan so Billy could pick up Anna.
“Hey, little miss. What are you and Mommy doin’?” Billy asked, kissing Anna on the forehead.
“Remember what we practiced this morning, Little Raven?” You asked.
She nodded and you both said simultaneously, “HAPPY FATHER’S DAY, DADDY!”
“Me and Mommy made you breffast!” Said Anna.
Billy’s lips curled into a wide smile as he replied, “It smells sooooo good, baby. Did you make coffee too?”
“I pushed the button! Don’t worry, Mommy had some.” She said, then loudly whispered into Billy’s ear, “She’s not a bear.”
You and Billy got a good laugh out of that one.
“Yes, thank you for telling our child that I can be a bit grouchy without my coffee, baby. I appreciate that.” You said.
Billy inched closer to you, “I’ll take it back if you can tell me it’s not true.”
“Well I can’t do that but neither can you, handsome.” You said, kissing him on the cheek as the bristles of his beard tickled your lips.
“Very true, my love.” He said with a wink.
Anna eagerly asked, “You ready to eat, Daddy?”
“I am, little miss. I’m starving.” Replied Billy, placing her back onto the floor.
Watching Billy eat breakfast with his children warmed your heart, made you smile, and even had you laughing at times. Anna tried sneaking pieces of bacon off of her father’s plate while Billy was feeding Dylan his scrambled eggs which he was still very skeptical of but reluctantly ate them anyway.
With a lot of help from his daycare teachers, Dylan made Billy a picture. It was his hand print made into a fish with a fishing pole next to it that said “Hooked on Daddy.” At the bottom was his name and the date.
Billy’s present from Anna was a rock that she painted and her teachers helped her paint “Dad Rocks” on it. On the other side was her name and the date.
He loved his gifts and Anna loved giving him his present. The innocence and pure joy in her eyes that were just like her father’s was a memory that would stay with you forever. You were both trying very hard to be good parents to your children because you and Billy knew what it was like to have mothers that didn’t deserve to be celebrated in any way.
They were both selfish and had abandoned their children because you weighed them down in one way or another and you never ever wanted to do that to your own children. You didn’t ever want them to know what that feels like, how it stays with you no matter how much you say you’ve moved on, and how it still hurts when you think about what they did to you.
You didn’t want that for them.
“You like your breffast, Daddy?” Asked Little Raven.
Billy answered with a smile, “I do, baby. You and Mommy did such a good job and thank you for my rock.”
“You rock, Daddy.” She said, flashing her father’s smile right back at him.
Billy was speechless. The praise you gave him yesterday was reinforced by his eldest child, the one who made him a father, his little girl.
“Thank you, baby girl.” He replied with a hitch in his voice.
Anna turned to you and asked, “I go color now, Mommy?”
“Yes, baby. You can go color. Wipe your hands first.” You replied.
You gave Billy a sly smile, a smile that silently said “I told you so.”
“I know that look, sweet girl. Go ahead, say it.” Said Billy.
Dylan was still in his high chair when you moved over to sit in Billy’s lap.
“I told you that you were a good dad. You believe me now, handsome?” You asked, gently pressing your lips to his.
Billy returned your kiss, tangling his fingers in your hair, and he smiled against your lips. As you raked your fingers against his scalp, he relaxed his shoulders and buried his head like a cat into where your neck meets your shoulder.
“Maybe a little.” Said Billy.
You questioned, “A little? Your daughter just told you that you rock and you got our little man to eat all of his eggs today. Most of the time, I can’t get him to do that. So you should believe me, my love…and believe your kids.”
Billy was quiet, at a loss for words, and thinking about what he wanted to say.
“We’re not like them are we, sweet girl.” He said in a relieved tone.
And by “them,” you knew who he was referring to.
Your mother had abandoned you in a similar yet different way than Billy’s. She left you and your brother to be raised by your father and started a new family with a new husband and a new baby. Even though your relationship was better today, that feeling of loneliness or “why wasn’t I enough,” was always there and always would be there.
You and Billy weren’t perfect parents, no one is. You’ve made mistakes but you wanted to be better than they were to you. And your children were proof that you were doing a pretty good job so far.
They were happy.
You replied with a warm smile, “No we’re not, baby. We’re nothing like them.”
Tag List: @rafaelakelley @snowkestrel @fictional-hooman @k-marzolf @gijos @nutmeg17 @vaguekayla @danzer8705 @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes @aoi-targaryen @mysteriouslydeafeningwerewolf @rachlovesactors @sweetserendipity65 @bartonsparrow25
Others that might enjoy: @itwasthereaminuteago @fluffyprettykitty @jvanilly @ittybxttykxttytxtty @imagine-a-fictional-boyfriend @colereads @jediwizardelf @thejanecampaign @milea @folkloreofyennefer @mysweetlittledesire @mrsalwayswrite @madelynneb @serenamultifandom @amora-morozova @onceupona-happilyeverafter-love @briannareneea985 @operation-spot @banksyjots
If you’d like to be added to (or removed from) my tag list for the ever so handsome Billy Russo, just let me know and thank you again for reading! 💕💕💕 If I tagged you but didn’t want to be, just let me know and I’ll never do it again
42 notes · View notes
e-dubbc11 · 8 days ago
Text
Definitely not lol! I love when kids say they have a secret to tell you and just end up telling everyone because they don’t know how to whisper yet 🤣
Thank you for reading and sharing as always my lovely friend and thank you for the ask, I really enjoyed writing this. ♥️♥️♥️
Father’s Day
Tumblr media
Photos are not mine. They are courtesy of Pinterest/Google.
Pairing: Tattoo Artist Billy Russo x F! Reader
Warnings: Mostly fluffy bunnies and unicorns and some PG-13 smexy time. Mentions of abandonment.
Word Count: 2.4K-ish
Summary: It’s Billy’s first Father’s Day with two kids and Little Raven told her mother she wanted to do something special for her Dad
A/N: This was a request from my darling friend @jvanilly who has followed this series from the get-go. Thank you for the ask and I hope you like what I did here. Oh and thank you @bartonsparrow25 for beta reading this one for me and for helping me with the moodboard pics! You’re the best! ♥️ Part of The Sweetest Pain Series.
As always, thank you for reading!  I appreciate it so much and comments, reblogs are welcome and encouraged. Don’t be shy to tell me your favorite part. 💕💕 💕
The kids were asleep, your company had gone home, and the dishwasher had completed its cycle. The house was finally completely silent.
After your shower, you went looking for Billy. Since he wasn’t in your bedroom, you knew there was a pretty good chance that he was in his art studio. You noticed a warm light coming from the next room as you tiptoed into the doorway. Leaning against the doorframe as you tended to do when you tried to sneak up on him, always failing miserably, you saw he was just staring at something that you couldn’t quite make out.
“Always tryin’ to sneak up on me, huh sweet girl?” He asked softly.
You smiled and replied, “Maybe I’ll get you one day.”
“Not likely, baby. But I’m not gonna stop you from tryin’.” Said Billy.
“Whatcha lookin’ at, handsome?” You asked, wrapping your arms around his torso.
Billy reached out and pulled the picture off the wall. It was one of the first art projects Anna had done at daycare. It was two upside down hand prints and above them, it said “Best Daddy, Hands Down.”
“Remember this?” Billy asked with a slight smile.
Your lips curled into a smile.
“Awww, your first homemade Father’s Day present.” You replied. “She was so excited to give it to you. I think she was two.”
“Never thought I’d ever become a father.” Whispered Billy.
It wasn’t that long ago that your husband was just your tattoo artist and friend. Now, several years and two kids later, he was still adjusting to the fact that he was a husband and he now had two smaller pieces of him that he was trying his hardest to be a good father to.
“Tomorrow will be your first father’s day with TWO kids. I know Dylan made you something at daycare and Little Raven showed me what she made for you in preschool.” You said, clasping your hands together behind Billy’s neck.
Billy touched his forehead to yours. It was always such a comfort for him when he did because it made him feel safe and it was a sign of trust between the two of you. Gently, he pressed his lips to yours and snaked his hands around your waist, pulling you flush to his body as the warmth radiated through his black t-shirt against your soft skin.
“I love you.” Said Billy in a hushed tone.
Your lips curled into a warm smile and replied, “I love you too, baby.”
Billy’s dark chocolate eyes looked worrisome.
“Am I a good father, sweet girl?” He asked with a slight hitch in his voice.
You delicately raked your nails against his scalp as he relaxed his shoulders and rested his hands on your hips.
“Of course you are, Billy. I know Dylan is still really young but both of the kids are always so happy to see you when you come home from work. No matter how tired you are, you never brush them off. You sit and draw with Anna or watch a movie with her, you make funny noises to try and make Dylan laugh. They love you, baby. You’re a great dad.” You replied, brushing his beard with your thumb.
A shy smile stretched across Billy’s lips. He’d never admit it but he loved the praise you gave him, loved to hear that he was doing a good job, and that you and the kids just adored him. His smile was all of the admission you needed to see.
“I think I’m ready for bed now, beautiful.” Said Billy with a wink.
You knew what that meant.
“Race ya, lieutenant!” You exclaimed.
As you turned to run out of the room, Billy hip checked you to get out of the room first and make it to your bedroom before you could even get out of his studio.
He was sitting on the edge of the bed when you walked in with a slight scowl on your face. Billy was hyper competitive and he’d never, under any circumstances, let anyone win, not even his four-year-old daughter. So he definitely wasn’t going to let you win a foot race to the bedroom.
Glaring at him, pointing one finger in the air, you rhetorically asked him, “Did you just HIP CHECK me, Mr. Russo?”
“Well, you would have won if I didn’t.” He said, flashing you that million-dollar smile and inching up toward the middle of the bed.
“Oh you are sooooooo lucky you’re cute, my love.” You replied, straddling him.
Billy’s hands immediately traveled to your ass, as he gently nipped along your jaw and down the sides of your neck. He mapped the rest of your body with his talented fingers, sending sharp tingles down your spine as he grazed the soft skin of your lower back.
“You know I can’t just LET you win, sweet girl. Can I make it up to you?” He asked, as he pressed his lips against the sculpted hollow of your throat.
“I’m listening…how?” You asked, pushing his hair back that had tumbled into his eyes.
His lips collided with yours, parting them with his tongue to tangle with yours as he rolled until you were underneath him and his hips were pressed firmly against you.
“What if I hip check you in a different way?” He asked, gently thrusting his hips against you.
Billy’s hardening length pressed against your core as he peppered gentle kisses down your neck. A wet spot immediately formed on your panties and his hand traveled along your outer thigh while goosebumps erupted across your exposed skin.
His lips were suddenly on yours again.
Smiling against his lips, you said, “I suppose I can allow that. I love you, Billy.”
The corners of his mouth curled into a warm smile as Billy replied, “I love you too, my little firecracker.”
And with another kiss, he covered your body with his own.
**********
While putting Anna to bed last night, you reminded her that the next day was Father’s Day and that you all should do something special for Billy to which she suggested making him breakfast. Little Raven had always been an early riser so when she woke up the next morning, she quietly crept into your bedroom to wake you up, being very careful not to wake her father.
A lot of children were very heavy on their feet even just walking but not Anna. Like her father, she was very light on her feet and she was up even before Dylan. It was very early but it was the perfect time to start breakfast.
“Coffee is the most important part, right Mommy?” She asked, pointing at the coffee maker.
She learned that from her dad.
“Did Daddy tell you that, Little Raven?” You asked with a slight smile, picking up the stepstool and placing it on the floor next to the counter.
Anna answered, “Daddy said if you don’t have it, you a bear.”
She flashed a sly smile at you like she was getting away with saying something bad.
You couldn’t help but chuckle because he wasn’t wrong but he was just as bad with needing a caffeine boost every morning so you made sure that coffee was the first thing you prepared. Of course you let Little Raven push the button.
“Well, Daddy isn’t wrong. Mommy does love her coffee but so does Daddy. Breakfast is gonna taste extra yummy because you helped me make it. You ready?” You asked.
Anna squealed with excitement and clapped her hands.
“Ready, Mommy!”
Placing your finger in front of your lips, you said, “Sssshhhh, let’s try and keep quiet so Daddy and Dylan can sleep some more, ok?”
Little Raven whispered back with a big smile, “Ok, Mommy.”
Even when Anna could barely walk, she always wanted to help you with whatever you were doing so she was very excited to help make her dad his Father’s Day breakfast.
She helped you line up the bacon on the baking sheet, getting it ready to bake in the oven. She sprayed water everywhere after you showed her how to rinse the strawberries and then she wanted to make pancakes.
“Daddy likes pancakes. Look how big this one is, Mommy!” She said excitedly.
“Yes, that is a big one, isn’t it. See how the bubbles are popping right there? That’s how you know it’s time to flip it, ready?” You asked, guiding the spatula in her little hands, getting ready to turn it over.
“Ready!” Said Anna.
“Aaaaaaand….Ta-da! Good job, baby girl!” You said with praise.
She was so excited.
“I did it!” Shouted Anna.
Just as you added the pancake to the pile, Billy walked into the kitchen carrying Dylan.
“What’s goin’ on in here?” Asked Billy with a wide smile.
Anna’s face lit up, her smile stretched from ear to ear as she took off running toward her dad. Grabbing onto his leg, she squeezed him tightly.
“HI DADDY!!” She said, her tiny voice was full of excitement.
You took Dylan so Billy could pick up Anna.
“Hey, little miss. What are you and Mommy doin’?” Billy asked, kissing Anna on the forehead.
“Remember what we practiced this morning, Little Raven?” You asked.
She nodded and you both said simultaneously, “HAPPY FATHER’S DAY, DADDY!”
“Me and Mommy made you breffast!” Said Anna.
Billy’s lips curled into a wide smile as he replied, “It smells sooooo good, baby. Did you make coffee too?”
“I pushed the button! Don’t worry, Mommy had some.” She said, then loudly whispered into Billy’s ear, “She’s not a bear.”
You and Billy got a good laugh out of that one.
“Yes, thank you for telling our child that I can be a bit grouchy without my coffee, baby. I appreciate that.” You said.
Billy inched closer to you, “I’ll take it back if you can tell me it’s not true.”
“Well I can’t do that but neither can you, handsome.” You said, kissing him on the cheek as the bristles of his beard tickled your lips.
“Very true, my love.” He said with a wink.
Anna eagerly asked, “You ready to eat, Daddy?”
“I am, little miss. I’m starving.” Replied Billy, placing her back onto the floor.
Watching Billy eat breakfast with his children warmed your heart, made you smile, and even had you laughing at times. Anna tried sneaking pieces of bacon off of her father’s plate while Billy was feeding Dylan his scrambled eggs which he was still very skeptical of but reluctantly ate them anyway.
With a lot of help from his daycare teachers, Dylan made Billy a picture. It was his hand print made into a fish with a fishing pole next to it that said “Hooked on Daddy.” At the bottom was his name and the date.
Billy’s present from Anna was a rock that she painted and her teachers helped her paint “Dad Rocks” on it. On the other side was her name and the date.
He loved his gifts and Anna loved giving him his present. The innocence and pure joy in her eyes that were just like her father’s was a memory that would stay with you forever. You were both trying very hard to be good parents to your children because you and Billy knew what it was like to have mothers that didn’t deserve to be celebrated in any way.
They were both selfish and had abandoned their children because you weighed them down in one way or another and you never ever wanted to do that to your own children. You didn’t ever want them to know what that feels like, how it stays with you no matter how much you say you’ve moved on, and how it still hurts when you think about what they did to you.
You didn’t want that for them.
“You like your breffast, Daddy?” Asked Little Raven.
Billy answered with a smile, “I do, baby. You and Mommy did such a good job and thank you for my rock.”
“You rock, Daddy.” She said, flashing her father’s smile right back at him.
Billy was speechless. The praise you gave him yesterday was reinforced by his eldest child, the one who made him a father, his little girl.
“Thank you, baby girl.” He replied with a hitch in his voice.
Anna turned to you and asked, “I go color now, Mommy?”
“Yes, baby. You can go color. Wipe your hands first.” You replied.
You gave Billy a sly smile, a smile that silently said “I told you so.”
“I know that look, sweet girl. Go ahead, say it.” Said Billy.
Dylan was still in his high chair when you moved over to sit in Billy’s lap.
“I told you that you were a good dad. You believe me now, handsome?” You asked, gently pressing your lips to his.
Billy returned your kiss, tangling his fingers in your hair, and he smiled against your lips. As you raked your fingers against his scalp, he relaxed his shoulders and buried his head like a cat into where your neck meets your shoulder.
“Maybe a little.” Said Billy.
You questioned, “A little? Your daughter just told you that you rock and you got our little man to eat all of his eggs today. Most of the time, I can’t get him to do that. So you should believe me, my love…and believe your kids.”
Billy was quiet, at a loss for words, and thinking about what he wanted to say.
“We’re not like them are we, sweet girl.” He said in a relieved tone.
And by “them,” you knew who he was referring to.
Your mother had abandoned you in a similar yet different way than Billy’s. She left you and your brother to be raised by your father and started a new family with a new husband and a new baby. Even though your relationship was better today, that feeling of loneliness or “why wasn’t I enough,” was always there and always would be there.
You and Billy weren’t perfect parents, no one is. You’ve made mistakes but you wanted to be better than they were to you. And your children were proof that you were doing a pretty good job so far.
They were happy.
You replied with a warm smile, “No we’re not, baby. We’re nothing like them.”
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