einsamkeit04 - Tumblr blog

[einsamkeit04]

Feeling like I'm soon gonna be part of the people who dread Christmas

[einsamkeit04]

Sorry boss I won't make it in time to the office because I had to cry over a minor inconvenience until 3am again last night

[einsamkeit04]

being overwhelmed by such insignificant stupid things makes me feel so worthless

[einsamkeit04]

it's a day off as an adult, I could do basically anything I want but I'm just lying in bed anxious af

[einsamkeit04]

"Every night I check the dash cam footage. And there it is. Always fuzzy. Sometimes an endless mass of antlers, sometimes a twisted thing on the side of the road.

"I never remember much from the drive back. You're tired from work and you put the brain on autopilot, you know? You get home like you just woke up from an old dream."

[einsamkeit04]

There will always be someone's who's better than me, even at having mental illness

[einsamkeit04]

the fact that I'll always feel alone no matter what is killing me

There's no point in reaching out to anyone just let me die already

[einsamkeit04]

Urges have been back since last week but I'm fighting the best i can

[einsamkeit04]

[einsamkeit04]

Still having the disordered thoughts but not being able to actually proceed with the disordered behavior is really the worst

[einsamkeit04]

God give me the strength to starve myself tomorrow

[einsamkeit04]

[einsamkeit04]

It's still too tight around my thighs aaaah

Don't know if I look good or just ridiculous

[einsamkeit04]

Sorry boss that I took an unplanned home office day but I need to starve and exercise 🤡

[einsamkeit04]

[einsamkeit04]

Disordered Moscow mule anyone?

[einsamkeit04]

My roomie is in total denial of the fact she got fat, she gained 10kg, eats 300g of pasta with cheese everyday but is convinced she actually gained muscle from cardio training 40 minutes a week 💀