emil-the-idiot42
emil-the-idiot42
Eepiest Boi
105 posts
I crave silly as much as I crave violence
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
emil-the-idiot42 · 3 months ago
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I keep getting the same add for a company I worked for years ago and it ticks me off
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GO AWAY!!!
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emil-the-idiot42 · 3 months ago
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i present, for your viewing pleasure
youtube
shiesty!mark with the william from his universe
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emil-the-idiot42 · 3 months ago
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Angels Crashing to Earth
Part 2: Understanding Upon Earth
Cecil Steadman x Alien!Reader
TW: Cannon Typical Violence, Severe Injury, Healing form Severe Injuries, Locked in a Hospital Room, Cecil being Paranoid, Cameras, Lie Detecting disguised as Medical Observation and Treatment. If there are any I missed PLEASE tell me so I can add them to the warnings.
No mentions of the reader's appearance other than blood color, wings, having a few hollow bones because the reader's alien race is loosely based off of birds/biblically accurate angels, an extra heart and an extra eye.
Written in 2nd person. Instead of (Y/N) I will be using ___.
Word Count: 1,242
Chapter Description: After months of being monitored, you are asked a few questions by Cecil himself to possibly use your strength for other means.
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Several months had passed since you had woken up in the hospital. Everyday was similar, basically the same. A doctor would come in to check your vitals as another came in to teach you the language English. In exchange you taught them your language and about your race. The intricacies of what they are, but leaving out the details of what they do.
Though there was also another constant on a schedule you always noticed. You knew he didn't want to raise your suspicions and stay hidden, but the same times everyday you saw Cecil out of the corner of your eye. Always a slight glimpse of him in the window of your hospital door, walking buy. Presumably to a nearby location to keep an eye on you.
The doctor said he was an important man, trying to keep the world safe, but you never understood why he kept a close eye on you.
"Don't let it get to you. He's been known to be a bit... Paranoid." The doctor hushed in reassurance as she scribbled on her clipboard. "He's just a bit skeptical about another alien landing here."
Confusion riddled your face, obtaining the attention of your teacher. "It is nothing to worry yourself about, now let's get back to these lessons." He held up another flashcard, a simplistic picture of a cookie was on it.
"Cookie." Answer plain and simple just like the card.
"Good. Now what do you call it where you are from?"
"We never had anything such as a cookie, so i don't believe we've ever had a word for it." Both the doctor and the teacher looked at you puzzled but seemingly understanding.
The doctor scribbled something down from the machines on her papers as you answered. You looked at her but the teacher lifted up another card quickly bringing you back to focus.
"Pineapple." A fruit that perplexes you in many ways. "I've never seen a fruit quite like it. Even on all of the other planets I have seen, this seems to be unique only to this planet." A hushed tone overtook you as well as your curiosity. "I would love to see one one day."
"I'm sure we can arrange something for you." a smile graced the doctor's lips as she looked at you with the statement. A warm feeling creeped through you as you mimicked the expression.
This when on for about another hour as the teacher seemed to shift, and the doctor seemed more intent on your vitals.
"Today, we're going to do something a little different. I am going to show you a car and you are going to call it something it isn't. You can do that right?" You simply nodded in reply, unsure of what the pair were doing, but they had helped you so far. He held up a card with the picture of a tomato.
"Tree."
"Good, very good." He looked over at the doctor and nodded, clearly something you were left out of. "And this one?" Flash cards flipped through and answers, incorrectly though they might be, followed for the next 30 minutes.
"This is interesting. ___'s vitals are only barely spiking." The doctor seemed to be writing more intently.
"This might be an issue later on, but I'm sure we'll figure it out."
Idle chatter flowed between the two as they left discussing their findings as you were once left alone again. You looked at the machines, the beeping steady, showing many different things. Blood oxygen, heart rates, a few other things you couldn't distinguish. Watching them steadily monitor your health you lost track of time and your senses. It was oddly calming for you, the calm rhythmic beeping with your hearts, seeing your blood oxygen level out with your breathing. You were so engrossed in the steadiness of it all you didn't see or even hear him walk in.
"I see you're holding up well." Turning around in an instant, your eyes land on the man who spoke. Cecil.
"Fairly." Soft words escape you. "Why are you here? I have been told you are a busy man."
"I simply came in to see how you were doing. You were pretty banged up when we found you." You didn’t fully understand what he meant, but the phrase wasn’t lost on you.
“It was difficult to heal after a crash like that. I’m sure this isn’t the only reason you are here.”
A soft chuckle came from Cecil before he answered. “You saw right through me. I did want to ask you a few questions.” He leaned forward with his hands coming up to rest his chin upon them. "Nothing serious, but to make sure you're in good enough shape to move along with your treatments." You only nodded, ready to be free of the bed you had been in since you got to this facility. Hopefully out of the sterile room you had been in and see something new.
"Good. Do you know why you are on this planet?"
"No. I was placed in the Sarcophagus and sent in a random direction in space for an undetermined amount of time." You gave the answer, simple but leaving out as to why. Why you were in the ship.
"That... 'Sarcophagus' as you put it. From what we were able to reconstruct from the wreckage, it looked like it was designed to kill you. Is that true."
"Yes." Cecil squinted at your vital signs looking for anything out of the ordinary using the data he collected from the doctors that were with you earlier that day. He saw nothing out of the ordinary and continued with his questioning.
"Just a few more questions. We are just assessing if your head injuries might have affected your long term memory. Why were you put in this ship that would ultimately kill you?"
"I disobeyed The Flock. A direct order from the leader." You hung your head in shame as Cecil focused back on the monitors. You were still steady, telling the truth.
"Can I know what order you ignored?" A chill ran down your spine at Cecil's question. You wanted to keep this planet safe, yet you were struggling with the means as to how. Would you keep it a secret so they don't seek it out, or tell them so they could prepare? With a heavy sigh, you gave him his answer, deciding to leave nothing under lock and key.
"I was ordered to conquer a planet. Inhabited. It was in sector 15 on our charts. I couldn't do it." pausing for a moment to collect yourself, you looked up at him. "I saw a family of the inhabitants. I saw plants and life. I believe my curiosity was my downfall. I wanted to learn all I could from them."
Cecil nodded before looking back at the monitor. Again, no changes or abnormalities. Stable. He sighed, his own head hanging low for a moment, thoughts racing through his mind. He looked back up at you, tired eyes seemingly hidden behind a stoic face.
"Would you want to use your strength to protect, rather than conquer?" 
“What exactly do you mean?”
“Well, you hold great strength and potential to be a hero of sorts. You were sent alone to conquer a planet which proves your strength as well as the possibility of combat knowledge. We need people to protect this planet, and you seem to fit the bill.”
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AN: Sorry again if it is too short or not really that good. I had a lot of fun writing this and really hoped you enjoyed reading. The third part doesn't have a name yet but it will be out in about a week or two if work doesn't keep me busy.
The Dove borders were made by dollywons so please be sure to give them the credit and support they deserve.
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emil-the-idiot42 · 3 months ago
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I need this man on his knees whining on the brink of tears
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emil-the-idiot42 · 4 months ago
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resources for anyone struggling 🤍
i’m reposting this from a deactivated account but many links were broken or uk-based, so i’ve verified links and resources ~ og post ~ please let me know if anything needs to be added/updated
suicide & crisis hotline: call or text 988 (800-273-8255)
trans lifeline: 877-565-8860
depression hotline: 866-903-3787
eating disorders helpline: 800-931-2237
rape and sexual assault: 800-656-4673
domestic violence hotline: 800-799-7233 or text “START” to 88788
child abuse hotline: 800-422-4453 or text “HELP” to 800-422-4453
grief support: griefshare.org or text “HELLO” to 741741
runaway safeline: 1-800-786-2929
after abortion hotline/pro-voice: text exhale pro-voice at 617-749-2948
trevor project
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alternatives without harming yourself:
holding/squeezing ice
splashing your face with water
getting a rubber band and snapping it against your skin (this could hurt, though it’s better than other ways that people usually choose to self-harm)
take a hot shower or bath
eat something sour. it will take your mind off the urge. (lemon, sour candy)
massage where you would self-harm
get a red pen or red paint and draw/paint over where you usually self-harm
remind yourself as to why you shouldn’t do it (scars, harms organs, leave memories etc…)
describe what you are feeling (is the urge/pain in your chest, fists, legs, arms, head?)
killing yourself will not help. it is not a solution.
you have your whole life ahead of you. you have so many more years that you can accomplish things in.
for example;
having a family
getting married
to watch the sun rise
to watch the sun set
to save someone else’s life
finish school
get your dream job
to laugh
to smile
to go camping
travel to new places
to wake up every morning to the person you love
friends
family
to keep that promise you made
to accomplish a goal
to meet your idol
to listen to new music
theme parks
video games
chocolate
to be able to look back and say “i made it”
what you’re going through is temporary.
in case you need to hear this:
you are loved.
you are wanted.
you are needed.
you are beautiful.
you are handsome.
you are important.
you are not alone.
you are okay.
you are strong.
you are worth it.
you are smart.
you are not a failure.
you are useful.
you are going to be okay.
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-> read full resource page here <-
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emil-the-idiot42 · 4 months ago
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I'm obsessed. I love this asshole too much, I'm going to go crazy
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emil-the-idiot42 · 4 months ago
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have you ever written a chapter for a fic and think its good but you leave it alone for about a week or two and then you re read it and think its trash because it feels to rushed, the pacing is off, or feels too different, like the vibe and goal isn't there, its not what you're looking for? no? just me? oki...
just deleted about half the second chapter of my fic because it just didn't fit. it wasn't good. i'm struggling bro
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emil-the-idiot42 · 4 months ago
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historical drama/sitcom where two gay best friends (woman and man) get lavender married--and proceed to spend the Fancy European Honeymoon their parents paid for acting as each other's wingman
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emil-the-idiot42 · 4 months ago
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I cannot BELIEVE that they denied us both bondage Cecil and chemical bath Cecil in the show, sick and twisted world
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emil-the-idiot42 · 4 months ago
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I'm not crying! You're crying!
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𐙚 𓏵𓏵𓏵 𐙚 𝐮𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐲 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬, | rex sloan 'splode' x gender neutral reader
love mail — PLEAASE please rex sloane be famous IM BEGGINg this took me like an hour but it's so long i'm actually surprised i committed to it. !!( ; ロ)゚ ゚guys.. .. please... my efforts for my alive husband.. MAJOR S3 SPOILERS ! angst too oops, not proofread sorri !
wc : 2.2k
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the three times rex sloan broke your heart.
rex sloan, or splode, one or the other — depending on how much he liked you, was a man that many knew for his pride, ego, and utter selfishness. the living, breathing representative of a self absorbed man. you hated the fact you fell for his stupid jokes and undeniable charm, how could you not? in his words, he was irresistable, and you had to admit.. he wasn't lying.
rex had you smitten with that little smirk of his and promises of well spent 'bonding' and 'getting to know each other'. you were doomed the moment he caught on to what made you tick, and what made you flush.
the very first time he had broken your trust, was his promise to court you — to have a beautiful life with you, that your eyes were pretty, that you were his, all his. only to hear those same words as he pounds into some random woman in your apartment, to your dismay. clothes that weren't yours and ones that definitely belonged to rex are scattered all over the place, and you just feel sick.
you make sure to yell for them to get out. and your eyes burn into rex's unapologetic ones, you see that smile on his face — unashamed, uncaring. you accept your defeat, that you fell for stupid, flowery words, from a pretty face with an ugly heart. you fall to the floor when you hear the door click, wobbly knees unable to hold you up for any longer as you sob; heart screaming at you for allowing yourself to be betrayed like this — when you knew you should have been smarter, wiser. not fall to something as stupid as love.
dealing with him around the base was your worst nightmare. he was fine; same insufferable jerkbag, while you cried and cried for days on end. where your body felt used, and your heart strings being tugged so tightly, you were afraid your fraile organ would burst. you knew one thing for sure, rex splode — was a man beyond redemption, beyond saving, and beyond forgiveness.
you dealt with seeing his face all the time, pissing you off, the team off, and being the same arrogant asshole he always was. you scold yourself for ever thinking he was anything different, for all the times he confided in you, and you him, for all the times your connection was more than cheap sex — was revealed to be nothing. hell, you wouldn't even be surprised if the cheap sex was all rex cared about. fuck that guy. (not literally, enough of that.)
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the second time was weird. because you never even took him back — but after his.. haunting battle with king lizard that damn near killed him, the team did everything they could to keep him alive. at the cost of him needing to be bedridden for a while, unconcious, barely breathing.
you don't know why you even bothered to visit. you used to fight the urge to bash his face in, but seeing him so.. still, perhaps even peaceful.. you come to wonder how anyone was able to tame that fire he so naturally burned with. you made regular visits with mark, his best friend. and the way he talked about rex, made you remember the version of him you understood him as. for all his spunk and bite, he was still a man. a man who just wanted to be loved; for reasons unbeknownst to you at the time, as his past left him feeling unwanted.
you pitied him, almost. nothing can excuse cheating, nothing — but still.. you can never really get rid of the affection you held for someone. in the back of your head, like a virus that won't go away, it stays.. even if you can't see it, you definitely feel it.
things got worse when he woke up, because you don't know why — or how — but he just.. got better. scoffs and sneers turned to smiles and greetings, brushed off attempts at small talk became check ups on his health, and for the first time in the longest time.. your heart softened for him. you felt the familiar ache of your heart whenever he was around, but not one of hatred, but instead of.. yearning. oh no. your feelings for him coming back a second time around was not welcomed.
you didn't know how to feel on the night rex asked to see you at the roof of your apartment complex, and you didn't know what you were thinking when you agreed to meet. your footsteps feel heavy as you walk the stairs to the very top, and when you open the door — there he is. you expected the whole hero get-up, it was like the only thing he wore.. but no, just a shirt and plain pants while he leaned against a short wall, his back turned as he looked over to the city below. weird, you noted, but rex splode was always weird. and annoying, and insufferable, and —
"you ever think about what it's like?"
you snap out of your thoughts — surprised to hear such softness in his voice. it was almost believable, you scoffed mentally, even if you two were on better terms, you remained cautious. but nevertheless, you walk towards him, standing by his side with crossed arms. "what are you getting at?" you mumbled, an unintentional bite in your tone as rex chuckled, all too familiar with it.
"you know, what it means to be more than a hero — something more than a masked figure that saves lives, lives that are the reason i can only wonder what it must be like to.." his voice trails off, but you're understanding the direction this conversation is going.
you opened your mouth to continue his sentence, the previous snark disappearing. "be happy, truly, and unapologetically happy." you finished, turning your head to search his face for confirmation of her assumption of his words. his bittersweet smile speaks volumes.
he then asks; "you know my last name? like, for real." laughing at the question, you answer without thinking. "splode. it's stupid, rex splode — explode —"
"sloan."
your laugh slowly dies down, blinking at the realization. "my full name is rex sloan." rex, for the first time in.. ever, looks vulnerable. and all of a sudden, you recall just exactly why you were always so captivated by those eyes of his.
the talk extends for a couple hours, some tears are shed, unsaid words were finally shared, and a single promise was made.
"i promise," rex's hand makes it's way to your cheek, soothing your sniffles as the other pulls you close by the hip. a gesture you once recognized as rex wanting something physical, but there was more to this.. something emotional, a connection beyond desire and lust. "—that i'll be better. i'll fix what i broke back then, when i was spoiled, a big brat.. and that i'll be a good man for you. for all the hurt i caused, i'll try to heal tenfold. i'll be more than.. rex splode, i'll be yours." he whispered, leaning in close and brushing his nose against yours, a form of sweet affection.
and at those words, you leaned in to kiss him. a seal, one could say, to his oath of change. and since rex was staring at your lips all night, being on his very best behavior, he appreciated the reward. "you know.." he mumbled against your lips, smiling. "for once in my shitty life, i think i'm actually content." a laugh escapes him, and you practically swallow it with the way he just.. can't, won't pull away from you. "it's kinda worth living if it's with you."
but nothing could be greater than his relief that you forgave him. that the man you found to be so repulsive and conniving, was worth forgiving. and you will never know how much that meant to him. how much you meant to him.
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the third, and very last time rex had broken your heart, was the invincible war.
the team was sent to deal with an invincible variant, no biggie! rex was joking about how excited he was to kick his best friends ass, and you laugh.. the war was hard, after all. with so much destruction, some humor doesn't hurt.
you wish you told him to not underestimate the enemy, to have a high guard.. because maybe, maybe you could've stopped this.
monster girl and rudy are safe, they had long fleed the bridge and now it was just you and rex. beaten, bloodied, and bruised.. but together. rex had taken so many more hits, for you and the others more than anything else. the gash in his side is still dripping blood and you feel sick at the sight. you can't win this, you won't win this.
your thoughts are disturbed by the hardest hit you'll likely ever take if you make it out of here alive, slamming you into a wall, knocking the wind out of you. "agh—.." trying to get up serves impossible, every inch of your body is screaming for you to stand, but the building shakes with each explosion rex throws at gogglesible — and all you can do is helplessly watch as your boyfriend, the love of your life, still tries to fight a battle he knows he's lost.
your one good eye widens at the sight of gogglesible getting the upper hand, grabbing rex by the throat — chokes and curses of struggle escaping his lips. "when i'm done with you, it'll be your dumb little partner next. right after they watch you get torn to shreds, limb by limb, with nothing left of you to mourn." the variant spoke coldly, his grip on rex's neck tightening with every second.
you watched helplessly, tears brimming in your eyes as you catch rex's gaze. even as he struggles, he's still got his eyes on you, so loving, full of nothing but adoration. so that's when you know somethings wrong — because for all the love you have for him, you know he wasn't the type to become sappy in the middle of battle. not unless —
that's when you're forcing yourself to move. grabbing onto the wall as you don't notice the way he reaches into his aforementioned gash, too focused to getting to him before it's too late.
rex always joked about going out with a bang — oh fuck, please be some messed up joke.
"honey,"
the sound of his voice immediately makes you snap your head to him, the kindest smile is on his lips — and he's got that apologetic look in his eyes. he knows what'll happen, he just hopes you remember him fondly. not for who he was, but who he became. cause among everything else, he was grateful to become yours. that you will be the one person to remember him as rex sloan, and not the jackass the world made him be.
"make sure to look away f'me, yeah?"
three times rex broke your heart,
two times you chose to forgive —
and one whole lifetime to live without him.
you sob as you turn your head away, the sight too much to bear as the last thing you see is rex's skin beginning to glow an bright yellow hue.
"my entire goddamn skeleton, dickhead."
and then, it was over.
you wake up in a hospital bed, noticing the burn marks that cover your skin, almost mocking the experience you had only hours prior. a reminder of who you lost, permanently engraved on your body forever.
at your side, is a note; it's not anything grandiose, hell — it's crumpled and the penmanship looks half assed. but you know it all too well, rex.
hey, i'm awful at notes. don't expect sappy shit, alright? i just have a horrible feeling about the mission and, you know, no regrets. not saying somethings gonna go wrong but i just want you to know.
when i met you, i was a horrible guy. i chased nothing but my own self pleasure and ego, and i still regret it. the way you looked at me that night, i get scared of disappointing you like that again. god, i wish i wasn't writing this on some tiny notepad i stole from marks desk, but i digress.
i love you, holy fuck i love you. you're my world, my honey, my heart. you made an irredeemable scumbag a tolerable young man, and that's something to be proud of. make sure to never forget that, okay? you were the reason i stopped throwing myself into danger like i was immortal, for once i..
i would be afraid.
for the first time in my life, i was terrified of dying, and that was new — so incredibly new to me. regardless, i'm glad i get to come home to you every single night, honey. no need to be afraid of dying when i know i'll fight hard to live, and see your pretty eyes first thing in the morning.
i love you, for all your sassy remarks and shitty jokes, i love you.
i'll see you when we get back from the mission, and you'll laugh at me for making something so stupid and sappy. but you know i mean it, everything, it's always for you. all of it is for you.
— utterly yours, r. s. ♡
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emil-the-idiot42 · 4 months ago
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I need Mohawk!Mark with a Mean!Reader who insults him and he likes it
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emil-the-idiot42 · 4 months ago
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everyday at work I get the same thing every day for my snack, a spicy pickled sausage. It's been the same spicy I've known for years and I've always loved it, but they changed the recipe. It's spicier and I love it even more now.
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emil-the-idiot42 · 4 months ago
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Farewell online privacy
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emil-the-idiot42 · 4 months ago
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here, have this
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emil-the-idiot42 · 4 months ago
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funniest line I've ever heard in an anime dub is "This isn't hentai you goon!" And it lives rent free in my head
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emil-the-idiot42 · 4 months ago
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well obviously they didn't choose but there's a whole article written about in a National Geographic magazine years ago. It was about tracking which traits were passed down because the jellyfish glow-in-the-dark gene was used to differentiate them from one's who didn't have the gene. I can't remember the specifics but it was to help with feline AIDS.
honestly even the highest concept sci-fi seems tame once you learn BioSteel™ Goats exist irl
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emil-the-idiot42 · 4 months ago
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