eroxi

[eroxi]

As a late diagnosed autist I will say one of the most damaging but transformative experiences I've ever had was being misdiagnosed with BPD.

Everyday my heart goes out to people with BPD.

The amount of stigma and silencing they face is astonishing and sickening.

I took DBT for years. Therapists use to turn me away because of my diagnosis.

I would be having full blown autistic meltdowns, crying for help literally - but because I was labeled as BPD ANY time I cried I was treated as manipulative and unstable.

As if the only reason I could be crying was if I was out to trick someone.

95% of the books out there with Borderline in the title are named shit like 'How to get away from a person with Borderline', 'How to stop walking on eggshells (with a person who has BPD)'

I was never allowed to feel true pain or panic or need.

That was 'attention seeking behavior', not me asking for help when a disability was literally inhibiting my ability to process emotions.

There were dozens of times where I had a full meltdown and was either threatened with institutionalization or told I was doing it for attention.

My failing relationships weren't due to a communication issue, or the inability to read social cues. No, because I was labeled borderline, my unstable relationships were my fault. Me beggong nuerotypicals to just be honest and blunt with what they meant was me pestering them for validation.

Borderline patients can't win.

And the funny thing is - I asked my therapist about autism. I told her I thought I was on the spectrum.

BPD is WILDLY misdiagnosed with those with autism and I had many clear signs.

Instead - she told me 'If you were autistic we wouldn't be able to have this conversation'. She made me go through a list of autistic traits made clearly for children, citing how I didn't fit each one.

And then she told me that me identifying with the autism community was the BPD making me search for identity to be accepted - and that I wasn't autistic, just desperate to fit in somewhere.

I didn't get diagnosed for another ten years. For ten years I avoided the autism community - feeling as if I were just a broken person who wanted to steal from people who 'really needed it'.

Because of my providers - I began to doubt my identity MORE, not less.

Ten years of thinking I was borderline and being emotionally neglected and demonized by a system meant to help me.

To this day, I still don't trust neurotypicals. Not fully.

I know I'm not borderline now - but my heart aches for them. Not for the usual stuff. But for the stigma. And the asshole doctors. And the dismissiveness and threatening and the idea of institutionalization hanging over their head.

I love Borderline people. I always will. I'm not Borderline but if you are I love you and I'm sorry.

You're not a bad person. You're not a therapists worst nightmare, you are a human with valid feelings and fears.

Borderline people I'm sorry.

[eroxi]

uncommon topics for vocab lists in your target language:

natural disasters

astronomy

baking

business and economy

architecture

culinary arts

fashion

cinema

music

philosophy

psychology

travel and tourism

historical periods

legal terminology

[eroxi]

And we wouldn’t have to pay to see ourselves in museums.

Source

[eroxi]

hey maybe its just teen angst but i dont want to be here anymore

maybe its just part of growing up but i cant fucking do this anymore

[eroxi]

wish i could abandon Him

[eroxi]

gazans are out there scrounging for any morsels of food they can scrape up and here i am breaking down over the fact i have to fill my stomach at family dinner

[eroxi]

i really need this to end soon

[eroxi]

bpd writer culture is the disorder effecting your view on your own work, and entirely relying on outside praise to gauge its quality, and having a deep fear of not being good at the one thing you thought you had, wanting to die when your writing doesn't get much feedback (even negative feedback would be better than none)

.

[eroxi]

man

[eroxi]

[eroxi]

having an ed and watching cooking videos goes crazyyyy

[eroxi]

[eroxi]

Your last used emoji is how your week is gonna go

⚠️

Uh oh

[eroxi]

[eroxi]

Host: Remembers 2% of an average day from childhood without context or an emotional connection to them and only for 5 minutes

Also Hosts:but... I can remember my childhood perfectly...I must be faking!

[eroxi]

why am i doing this to myself

why am i doing this to myself

why am i doing this to myself

why am i doing this to myself

why am i doing this to myself

why am i doing this to myself