exdjpuriity

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the moon is so pretty are you related to her

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mari kojima

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real yearners know that they can even feel nostalgic about the present moment

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file -> phrases that are going to shift something in me forever

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Trauma dumping becoming a popularized term is just so fucking sad idk that’s one of the worst ones used casually obv there will always be people who say and ask too much from people who cant and don’t know how to handle it but it becoming some sort of pop psychology criminal offense is insane. like someone constantly oversharing is a huge sign something is very wrong you just need to understand that sometimes you’re not the one to fix it and can walk away if need be. Not talk massive shit and play victim ruining someone’s life because they told you too much about their childhood or something just keep it moving

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well personally i like it when there’s incest and necrophilia and murder and cannibalism and abuse and torture and gore and mutilation and body horror and sexual depravity and death.

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when i'm driving and see someone speeding

i always think to myself "why play with something as fragile as human life?"

my best friend's dad died in a car accident a few months ago. it was my first encounter of death. every sunday her mom and dad would have dinner with her as a family, despite them being seperated. some sundays i come over and still expect to see his motorcycle in the driveway. i want to come into the house and see her parents laughing together like they used to.

he taught me how to propery clean my windshield when i drove him to the store once. he made beautiful drawings, just gorgeous, and my best friend has held onto a drawing he made in her sketch book before he died. the last time i saw him he showed me the drawings he'd manage to make on his tiny phone, they were stunning. he'd hit a cherry dab pen once and get incredibly high. his tolerance was always so funny to us. we'd joke around with him and tell him we were going to get him second-hand high. we haven't laughed that much since he died. things haven't been funny. healing is supposed to make things go back to normal, but they never did. there are some pieces of the puzzle you lost that you just can never find again. that loss took away so much from her and her home. sometimes when i'm really high, i feel his presence and want nothing more than to see him sitting at her desk, holding his phone out trying to read the small print like a grandpa.

so why would you play with something as fragile and precious as a human life? why would you risk it suddenly raining the day he died, in the middle of summer? why would you risk getting the phone call in a tj max and crying in the parking lot for hours? why would you risk forgetting what they sound like?

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and then one day you wake up, make yourself a cup of coffee, and decide to stand outside while you drink it. there's birds chirping above you, a train goes by, the air feels fresh, your feet feel like they're finally on solid ground, and you realizing why you kept holding onto that thread.

crazy how you can be hanging on by a thread for like four months. Or your entire life

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i don't know who needs to hear this but..

IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT THAT YOU WERE MISTREATED AS A CHILD. THE REASON WHY YOU DON'T THINK THE SAME AS OTHERS IS BECAUSE OF WHAT THEY DID TO YOU. AND IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT THAT THEY CHANGED YOUR VIEW OF THE WORLD WITH THEIR VIOLENCE. YOU ARE CAPABLE OF HEALING BUT YOU NEED TO OPEN YOUR HEART TO REMEMBERING AND KEEPING THE STRENGTH YOU NEED TO MOVE ON.

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Web weave on breaking up.

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growing up you believe that there is something wrong with you and you are the horrible person you’ve been so afraid of,

but then one day you’re 18, drinking coffee in the morning after taking your meds, and you slowly begin to love yourself.

you treat people with the kindness and love you deserve, and it brings you to love yourself. it makes you proud of your actions and how you treat others.

one day you realize you weren’t a terrible person, you were just raised by one.

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“its my favorite song because i like the melody”

i fell obsessively in love with a boy and he loved me the same, he told me this song would be the song i walk down the aisle too. he was my first everything and we wanted to last forever. one day he was in love with someone he did sports with and it was over. i haven’t gotten that close to someone since. it’s been 4 years. i never stopped listening to it after the breakup. on dark nights, when i'm alone in my car driving through silence, my lips start to hum it automatically. some nights, i silently hope that maybe one day, somehow some way, i’ll walk down the aisle to it just like he wanted. the things i'd do to see him dance in his kitchen just one more time.

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…….thinking about this………..always thinking about this…..

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I'm like if a girl had the urge to scream and break something all the time but stays quiet instead