faemoira-firebeard

[faemoira-firebeard]

Ya know.... I get it now. How Republicans stay rich or get rich... follow the money, it's all about money and keeping people poor. They make so much money off disabled and poor people.

I'm not knocking the new Oswego apartment complexes, I live here. We needed this housing and I advocate for 30% housing for everyone.

(I believe in a universal base income and housing for everyone. I think everyone should get their basic needs met, even if it means they continue to live in poverty like me cuz at least we get to live.)

Now, I've never spoken openly until recently about the programs I use. That's my business and I'd like to keep it that way. I will say the remainder of my rent is paid privately by a mental health program. All I know is my landlord(s) make a good chunk of money off the programs that pay for rent like HUD and OCO and other section 8 housing voucher programs.

No, not everyone here uses those programs. But a certain number are alloted to them. It's contracted that way.

Why can't all housing be 30% housing?! Because Republicans and their friends own the housing market.

Why did Doug Waterbury get away with sexually assaulting tenants for 30 years?! Because Republicans and their friends own the housing market.

Why are there rv encampments growing along high ways on the west coast?! Because Republicans and their friends own the housing market.

Why is homelessness being criminalized?! Because Republicans and their friends own the housing market and the prison system.

-wait, prison system?-

Every single one of us is here because of the selfishness of our parents who probably can't even be in the same room.

Why can't we just exist without complication?

30% housing for everyone (hell I'd argue for free housing but that's considered extreme)

Universal base income (I'm literally talking 800/mo/adult max)

Healthcare (including dental, mental and eyes)

Why can't it be a thing?

Because Republicans and their friends own the housing market.........

And then when we all go to prison cuz prison industrial complex... we become their slaves.

"......dude, fae. What the fuck are you on about?...."

-le sigh- never mind.

[faemoira-firebeard]

Dice have begun rolling!

New Party, New Campaign.

Let's find out what's happening in Artezia. We are in the area of the Forest of thee Straynj, in the city Nez'Queek. -This map is a WIP-

Our party consists of a goblin, myconid, ooze, shadow elf and a dwarf. At the table this past week was the goblin, myconid and ooze.

We began outside of the carnival, the gates are locked and the keys seem to be missing. They discovered a strange deformed elf had been hired by Mr Straynj to steal the keys... the deformed elf seems to be part of the freak show owned by a very odd Giff.

After they managed to unlock the gate for the carnival folks the goblin was distracted by the sounds of small critters. They were immediately drawn to the pet emporium and freakshow. a short conversation with a brain in a jar and Barty was summoned from his caravan.

Barty saw the Ooze and took the ingredients he was sent to obtain outside the barrier. Barty went back inside slamming the door behind him.

The goblin heard some screaming and delightful singing from inside the Giff's caravan and took a peak what they saw was shocking. It looked to be a crude surgery happening, Barty spotted them and a ball of arms that very quickly closed the curtains.

Beyond the freakshow there was some commotion and they were quickly distracted by some of the best pie they had ever tasted. It was a special delivery from the buggbog. Miss Nell's peach pie... and a parade marking the opening of festivities for the evening.

The nightly parade is led by Mr Tibauld Straynj himself, tonight's is quite possibly the last carnival parade he will ever lead.

There was a wereraven chained in the caboose of the parade and the goblin snuck away and helped it unchain itself. upon release it transformed into the deformed elf they saw outside the carnival earlier in the day.

The party realized that the goblin had ran off and they quickly realized what had happened and managed to find their way to the big tent following the parade.

We ended our session there :)

[faemoira-firebeard]

a rough go.

Life has hit the shit fan.

I'm trying really fucking hard.

I made the decision to stop DM'ing at the shop because of my fucking stalker, and while that was definitely the right decision... I miss it.

I'm going to start focusing more on getting lore off of paper and digital in the coming weeks and... cuz well... imma have time and um... rent is going up so maybe there's a launching of a lore thing soon? long story short, imma need money so i'm trying to think of ways to make money

huzzah! i have a ko-fi by the way, there are free -and or pay what you want- maps over there and you should totally 100% go check them out. -> Ko-fi.com/faemoirafb

[faemoira-firebeard]

Me? I'm fine, I swear...

I've literally fucking fought my entire life to be here. I am not a victim. I share my experiences so that other people know they can make it through the darkness. The world is scary right now. Trigger -fucking- warning (everything) . . . . . . When I say I've fought for my existence, I mean it. The only fight I've not had is thanks to my privilege born whiteness, I try to remember that. I've attempted suicide literally dozens of fucking times. It just didn't fucking take. Over doses, hanging, electricity, jumping into traffic... maybe I'm immortal. Charcoal is gross. This isn't a pity party, this is reality. My brain occasionally says "let's stop existing" and I agreed, a lot. I don't agree any longer when those intrusive thoughts happen, sometimes it's hard. I deserve to exist in my truth. I've been raped, abused, broken, beat up, spit on, sexually assaulted, harassed, yelled at....all by people I knew and or thought I loved. Not one single person that raped me was a complete stranger; yes, I do mean raped plural, not just raped as in past tense. I will not let it happen again. Not one person that abused me wasn't a partner. Sure people that beat me up or spit on me were only acquaintances or strangers, but that shit? It doesn't sting like it does when it's a friend fixing your computer while he's drugging your drink waiting for it to kick in. I had a full psychotic break in 2012 when I made the decision for my kids to live with their fathers. My eldests grandparent forcibly took custody of them and denied me my rights as a non-custodial parent for nearly a decade. It wasn't until last spring that I received a report card from their school, I don't think I'll ever gain access to medical records or ever be alerted of an appointment. I found peace though. It took years. Years of #dbt and other mental health #therapy. Understanding that none of what I've told you has happened to me is actually my fault; some-times I still have to remind myself it wasn't my fault. What I've gone through is the fault of the men that chose to rape and abuse me. Yeah, I'm a little biased against men. When I did finally have a shred of fucking happiness in my life, it was again taken from me. I even thought I had my family back, or would at least get to participate in my children's lives. Gods he loved my kids. I'll never forget the moment he couldn't smile at me. #StrokeAwareness I held his hand for three fucking days while the doctors tried to explain the science of a stroke and "brain dead" to his mother; I let go after he took his last breath. He was my person and I don't want -or need- another. Immediately after he died, Covid and more custody bull shit happened. I've gotten to see my eldest 4 times in the last 2 and a half years. Now my youngest two are moving back half-across the fucking country... at least I've gotten to spend these last few months with them. The thought of losing them again hurts my heart so much and quite literally takes my breath away. I've lost my sanity to #ptsd and my damn laundry list of mental health diagnosis'; my mobility to neuropathy and #CovidLongHaul I'm taking it back with an e-bike though. So, no. I guess what I'm getting at is... I'm not ok. Yup, I'm a little fucking bitter. I think I've reserved the right to be. My "opinions" on #MyExistence are not opinions. I am tired of fucking fighting to literally exist; I will however continue to fight until I don't fucking have to. #Exist in your truth. Oh hey, I'm Fae. I go by #they. I'm 36 Queer as hell and I'm not going anywhere. Yes this can be shared. You never know who needs to know that there are other #survivors left on this planet.

[faemoira-firebeard]

Nell's Cabin and Bakery

Nell's Cabin is at the Edge of the BuggBog and where the Orchard begins. Reminder, don't eat raw fruit and stuffs in Artezia you will either trip balls or get dead there really isn't much of an in between.

Nell put the BuggBog on the map when the Straynj Carnival discovered her Peach Pie during one of their visits. "Always cook your glow peaches in a pie, it's truly the only way."

The secret ingredient can be found after traveling through the BuggBog Caves (adventure in progress) and collecting the lilacs from the special lilac bushes and returning them to Nell for pollen extraction.

Nell has tried to replant them in many places and they simply wont grow anywhere else. They are only harvestable twice a year, she needs the parties help to retrieve these special lilac's. Rumor has it that there is another seeking to destroy the lilacs and Pie forever. If they succeed, pie will never be the same again.

Be warned. Lately there have been some strange happenings around the BuggBog, locals have been complaining of strange noises coming from the darkness deep in the caverns. The Carnivorous plants are no worry to most humanoids, so long as you aren't an insectoid or dragons w flying. Dragons w flying, yeah thats it, it says dragons w flying in my notes.

-chuckle- that is gonna be interesting.

Get this map for your own use over on my Ko-fi

[faemoira-firebeard]

Fae's Fridays Session 5

1/14/2022 -it was such an awesome session!

at the table, Vi, Silver, Baron and Sail (formerly Aiko, changed characters to Sail, I believe this will be a better fit and more his own).

-note ask Joe for contract gp for sail- 250gp

Our party's evening started in the Frostystein of FrankenHollow. Spirit(Sol) and Aiko aren't particularly feeling well and have isolated themselves in their room, perhaps it's the cold. It's never bothered them before though, there's been something off about them since they've arrived at FrankenHollow. (huzzah, made it work)

Silver found herself a corner, got comfy and played with the toys and baubles she had found in Nez'Queek.

Baron introduced himself better to "the bunny", introducing her to alcohol. Lots of failed con saves and a whole bottle of vodka for Vi later and the pair wandered around the outside of the inn for the mysterious mind flayers that Vi was rambling about when they ran into a foxfolk(Kemonomimi) in a nice suit. It began snowing and they all made their way back into the inn.

Inside they found (dm)Barny talking to Silver and the barkeep. Barny invited the new person on their adventure to go rid the ice rock mountains of the mad mage so things can get back to business in the hollows mining region. Silver makes note of Sails, "nice shinies" and Baron makes sure to warn him not to call the bunny a "hare".

After a good sleep and more snow the party wakes up and gets breakfast. "On the house" -a bit of a rivalry begins here between Vi and Baron- Vi had attempted to put ice at the bottom of the stairs, fortunately the ice melted and Baron made it safely to the bottom of the stairs (dex check, cuz slippery when wet)

Just before leaving the town gates, the guards warned them that the snow in the mountains was looking pretty rough and to be cautious after the final plateau. After a couple hours of travel, being sure to stay on the path Vi began to recognize the area. The (southern) Burrough was near!

(im tired.... im sleepy... and this time i remember so i will finish writing this up over the weekend)

[faemoira-firebeard]

[faemoira-firebeard]

Zoot the Suit. Still need to put equipment on her, but don't want to spoil things -chuckle-

performs with her swing band at the Raspberry Sax

may have information about the mad mage and how to infiltrate their tower

[faemoira-firebeard]

Self-image

I've struggled with my self-image over the last few years, I think everyone struggles at some point in their life.

When I started psych meds no one spoke to me about side effects -aside from weight gain. I expected to gain a bunch of weight and I did, 315 pounds at my heaviest in 2018. I never expected to lose my teeth or my hair. My teeth started decaying in my mouth, my bones became brittle... hell, I even lactacted at multiple points while trying to figure out my med-cocktail. Side effects are no joke.

My teeth finally got so bad that they simply began crumbling when I ate, nerves were exposed in multiple places. My dentist finally suggested an extraction but I needed to go to an oral surgeon to have it done. It took three visits, lots of panic attacks -dental related ptsd issues- a special spotify playlist, ear buds and an orbee-stress-balloon. The final extraction was in November 2019, I haven't seen myself in the mirror since.

I lost nearly 75 pounds over the next year and a half and have been holding steady at 235 for 3 months. Sure, weightloss is great, but not when you can't see you. No, it wasn't all from not having teeth either, life happened and A LOT of that was stress. I also have zero appetite because of my medications. Sometimes it'll be 1130 at night before I think to myself and realize, "I haven't eaten anything today."

You'd think that I would have been able to see myself somewhere looking back at me in the mirror. I mean, they had my eyes, they moved when I did, it was clearly me in the mirror... They're so small though... a sunken hollow looking face... such a sadness in the person looking back at me... "That's not me"... the whispers taunting me from the shadows weren't any help either.

A few months ago I got a call from my childhood dentist. He wanted to give me back my smile. Today I picked up my teeth, he did a few final fit adjustments to the plates and I put them in. He had to remove his glasses cuz he got a little teary eyed when he gave me the mirror.

It was me, there I was just staring back at me. I touched my face and so did they.

I smiled and lost my breath.

"oh hai" and the tears began to fall.

TWO YEARS of mirror avoidance, mask selfies and just hiding from that stranger looking back at me. I've only recently opened up to my therapist about my struggle with self-image as she's never seen me without a mask on nor has she known me as heavy as I was. I never realized it was such a battle until recently.

Today, I saw me. Healthier looking -yes, I'm crying again- my cheeks aren't sunken in, my lips have shape again. Sure, my face and body is thinner, but I saw myself. I saw me in the mirror. I see me in the selfies I've taken. I'm still here, I was just hiding.

Fae is back bitches, I've missed them for a long long time. Time to spend the next couple weeks relearning how to speak properly. Dentist suggested listening to music and just singing along.

I'm also letting my mouth re-adjust before attempting "solid" food, it's going be a task to learn how to eat again... ya'll have no idea how badly I want a salad, nice fresh romaine, spinach, cherry tomatoes and cucumbers.

[faemoira-firebeard]

I've decided that some ships get an Aarakocra lookout for the Crows-nest. Cliche? Absolutely.

Albatross, Parrots, Ravens and even Flamingos can commonly be spotted in ports, on ships and flying around the sea keeping an eye on their crew. They make excellent crewmates, lookouts, guides and on occasion 1st mates or Captains. They prefer to be able to keep an eye on their ships from above.

Me: "You're brought on board the ship and are immediately surrounded by a dozen Minotaurs and a Tortle. You look up and notice the crows nest, a bird peeks it's head over the side to get a better look at you. What type of bird is it?"

Roommate -grins- A flamingo.

Aarakocra!!

I am placing some Aarakocra societies in the world of Artezia and re-flavoring them a bit. (raptor-like, scavenge, sea and plumage to break it down simply)... I love birds... and truly, the possibilities are endless. (remember, there are NO humans)

Each "roost" has a home mountain peak(s) that looms into the cloud-tops far into the skies. Smaller roosts can be found all over the world of Artezia, much like the birds of world some simply prefer to be a little more social... prefer forested area... prefer picking off the wastes... like the warm humid jungles... etc etc

Aarakocra of the plumage persuasion (notes have written, macaw!, bird of pardise! *so many!, northern blue birds!, cardinals!, rooster? chickens?, peacock?, ducks?, flamingo? birds of song! &dance!-sparrows????! finch, chickadee??!!) can be found lurking around different parts of Artezia.

Aarakocra with an affinity for the sea, (notes written, Albatross!!**!! Seagulls! penguins? "salty birds" ducks? flamingo? geese?) can be seen taking roost in the "crows nest" of a ship, high up in a cliffs edge, rocky shores or seen gliding across the oceans enjoying the wonderful salty breeze of the sea air.

As a kid, I'd look up and see the Turkey Vultures circling above the woods near my house. I loved them. Scavenging birds play a huge role in our world and they will play a huge role in Artezia. These are the ravens, vultures, condors etc. the ones that our myths and legends say are death omens or bring grim messages.

I also have a small obsession with birds that hunt (other birds??-cannibal aarakocra? oh no...) for living prey. I think when people think of Aarakocra this is generally what they think of. I won't call them Raptorans cuz that's a race in it's own in older d&d editions, instead I'll call them Raptor-like Aarakocra. hawks! falcons! OWLS!!*?*!! eagles!

Some of the birds I've listed, don't fly... instead some may have a serious swim advantage or leap (chickens-roosters dont fly... but uhhh they CAN use their wings to propel themselves into trees... ever come home to a flock of chickens in the big ass crab apple tree? no? yeahhh.... me neither i swear....)

So, many birds, migrate, how can that be worked in?! This is where the cloud peak cities come in. Aarakocra are isolationist. So by having these cities hidden above the clouds where only the flying folk can get to they're able to migrate to different parts of Artezia without too much hassle. If they choose to be migratory, they might like it at home-roost.

Personally, I am having a LOT of fun populating Artezia.

[faemoira-firebeard]

Fae's Friday 12/17 (session 4)

Trying to get past my frustration of forgetting everything from Fridays session... yay amnesia and panic attacks...

I know they managed to get out of jail in the morning, I think they rp'd and got to know each others characters. I think they made it to Frankenhollow. something about chanting in the woods and big footprints outside of Frankenhollow... I think Aiko got his Library Mission finished and will need to return to Midnight at some point for the next one. I think I introduced Lisit Unolfa, I don't really know. **update** Sol's DiD kicked in and the party was introduced to another of the personalities hidden inside Sol, Spirit.

Next session will be 1/7/2022 -ya'll don't even know how embarrassing amnesia is. I fucking hate it and it's soooo frustrating, especially when it's triggered by anxiety and there's no halting it.

Aiko -dborn- Library of everything access 4/7... Weird teifling librarians assistant next mission -Chaos peaks, library fire?

Sol -dborn with Dissociative Identity Disorder - Bookstore... cooking... bookstore owner has a gift -Plant Identification. Strange Weather and how to Manage Adventuring.

Baron -Drow, raised by wuffs. Parents had another child, sibling is trying to find them to recruit them to destroy their parents name and status ultimately destroying the oppressive civilization they had created.

Vi -Tabaxirabbit- hyper 'lil gremlin- Dryad (Lilly) -wand of conducting- HUGE family, will run into a distantly related burrow near mad mage -party will need shelter

Silver -Tabaxi, blue russian- On the run. (4 weeks now) -clergy looking for them in the Ice Hill Mountains-headed to Nez'Queek to investigate the arrest made fitting her description -not traveling via portal, will take 2 weeks to get to Nez'Queek.

Alexandrous - lizardfolk- looking for a way to imbue their unarmed strike -magic item?

Barny -dwarf- possible connection at mage tower after defeating mad mage and freeing the glacier dwarves.

[faemoira-firebeard]

Combat too static for your liking? This spell is sure to mix things up!

[faemoira-firebeard]

Warlock: I’m going to start a false crime podcast where I explain crimes that never actually happened.

Rogue: I’m going to do the crimes you explain, forcing you into having a true crime podcast.

[faemoira-firebeard]

[faemoira-firebeard]

Had an absolutely amazing D&D session today!

This is my high level game where a group of level 12 heros are trying to stop essentially the Power Rangers from destroying the world.

In an emotional roller coaster of a turn, our Paladin got targeted by a disintegrate ray from our Boss of the session. It was a homebrew black dragon-ish creature, and had been trying to disintegrate them the whole fight, because of how they had taunted it at the start.

So paladin fails their Dex save. DM asks how much HP paladin has left. Long story short, the disintegrate roll exceeded it. And we’re all sitting there reeling, trying to come to terms with the sudden permadeath of our paladin when someone in my party reminds me of my Chronurgy wizard abilities.

Do I still have a reaction this round? Debate rages, and we decide I do. I can use Chronal Shift to let our Paladin reroll. One more chance. The new result? Natural 19. With bonuses, just enough to succeed.

Our table exploded. We decided since it was Chronal Shift, that everyone experienced paladin’s death, and felt the rewind as my wizard unraveled the threads of time. All of our characters are going to be so messed up by this.

One of the best D&D sessions I’ve ever played in.

Shout-out to @employee-of-the-bearimy (our paladin) and @uppitylittlehomo (our DM) and all the other players for a stellar session.

[faemoira-firebeard]

A world where humans have no innate magic but our pets do.

Cat magic is pretty raw and they mainly use it for getting into places they’re not supposed to. They can be trained if you’re patient, and will sometimes do favours for their owners out if the blue, but only if they want to.

Dogs have been bred for specific magic over the centuries and each breed can do certain things. Showing off your magic is an essential part of a dog show.

Horses come in horse, pegasus, and unicorn, each with their own magical talents.

Fuck knows what birds can do, I don’t trust birds.

[faemoira-firebeard]

Amnesia

It doesn't matter how hard I look at my notes. It doesn't matter how many times I read them. It doesn't matter how hard I try to jog my memory. I had a panic attack last night and now all of Friday is gone.

Things I do know, my players need to stop being disrespectful to each other. I'm beginning to understand why the previous DM killed multiple players and characters multiple times and eventually said "nah fuck yall i'm ghosting".

During my panic attack -this I remember- after I got home I watched some videos on problem players. I have a table of chaos stupid with no intention of actually playing my campaign, they just want to mess with each other.

If you're whole character is just being a dick, a chaos stupid "derail everything"... then YOU are being the dick and I will not tolerate "it's what my character would do"... no, you choose your characters actions, you are choosing to be a dick, to your friends. You don't get to control other players decisions and their actions. if you want to control other players maybe you should be the Friday DM.

I'm the DM not you, I don't have to sit at this table as much as you don't have to sit at this table. There are other players, other tables. I came to tell a story not have it run off the rails every session because players can't be respectful.

On that note, here's the playlist I made on how NOT to be a dick player.