faithsbookdiary

[faithsbookdiary]

Come Back to Me: BELLE is a journey of rediscovery

I cried in the theater. Ugly cried. I was by myself in a one o'clock showing on a weekday, so I figured I had every reason to be as loud as I wanted, and I did not hold back.

I'm an avid fan of Mamoru Hosoda and Studio Chizu's work. That, with the combination of Beauty and the Beast being my favorite fairytale princess story of all time, made the anticipation of Belle unbearable.

I've been waiting for this movie to come to the US since its announcement in December of 2020. I watched The Boy and the Beast in 2016, a trip that forced my sister to drive me some odd 50 miles to the nearest theater that was showing it. Mirai was an emotional force of nature (part nightmare fuel with that top-of-second-act train nonsense) that I enjoyed in the comforts of my own bed. We don't need to mention Summer Wars or Wolf Children or The Girl Who Leapt Through Time. We know.

These gorgeous films are just a few of the many that have risen in the wake of Studio Ghibli's success, and each one tells emotion-driven stories of rediscovery and family and wonder. Actually, I shouldn't compare them to Studio Ghibli; Hosoda has once again proven that his style and storytelling is more than capable of standing apart on its own two legs, and fantastically so.

GKIDS tagline for Belle, for those unfamiliar:

Suzu is a shy, everyday high school student living in a rural village. For years, she has only been a shadow of herself. But when she enters “U”, a massive virtual world, she escapes into her online persona as Belle, a gorgeous and globally-beloved singer. One day, her concert is interrupted by a monstrous creature chased by vigilantes. As their hunt escalates, Suzu embarks on an emotional and epic quest to uncover the identity of this mysterious “beast” and to discover her true self in a world where you can be anyone.

At the 2021 Cannes Film Festival, Belle received fourteen minutes of standing ovation. And rightly so. Belle tackles a heart-wrenching narrative of a freckled princess and her beast that have faced both trials and the need to escape them, and as much as this is a story of coming together to overcome obstacles, this is also a story of rediscovery, healing, and personal growth.

Buckle up for a very long and thorough deep dive as to why this movie was such a special experience for me!

THE FOLLOWING CONTENT WILL CONTAIN SPOILERS OF BELLE.

BEAUTY AND THE BEAST

What initially attracted me to Mamoru Hosoda's films was the beastly aspect to them. Belle from Beauty and the Beast was my favorite Disney princess growing up because she thrived in a story that focused on inner beauty and the process of forgiving past behaviors and mistakes, a "good girl x bad boy" cliche dressed up in beautiful gowns and monstrous creatures and books (lots and lots of books). It was another example of how love could heal deep emotional wounds.

Any version of this story was welcome in my rolodex of fairytales, so imagine my excitement upon discovering that most of Hosoda's films herald beastlike creatures, whether that's through internet personas or beast men in a parallel world or child werewolf transformations. Hosoda likes to approach humanity by contrasting people to their animalistic counterparts, because that's what we are: animals with our own version of order. It's especially telling when the true monsters of the film are human- that evil is a human-constructed concept, that you can't truly judge a book by its cover, etc. etc. I'd love to make a series of Hosoda's movies for this blog and address the use of beasts as one of his central themes, but that's for another post. I'll get there.

Where The Boy and the Beast touches on a world of beastsxhumans and loosely ties the narrative of Beauty and the Beast- because there has to be some connection there, a familial one- Belle is a direct retelling. I kept looking for the telltale signs of the classic and unconsciously made comparisons between the two. Belle's entrance to the castle was reminiscent of Disney's. The roses were present, though their functions were different. Beast's room was torn to shreds, a rejection of a past haunting him. There's a rescue scene; despite his harshness and initial inability to accept his mistakes, the Beast is altruistic, and doesn't let his negativity cloud his judgement when it's essential. There's a gorgeous, iconic dance between the two. I can go on and on, but my point is that Belle is definitely Beauty and the Beast.

But as well as the narrative keeps true to its plot points, Hosoda turns the classic on its head. This isn't a romance (this doesn't include the little side plots of crushes sprinkled in) but a story of platonic love, one rooted to a deep sense of care and empathy. One of Hosoda's strengths is his exploration of love outside of the romantic, as most of our own connections to the people in our lives lie in the realm outside of our significant other.

Belle's motivation was also a refreshing twist compared to the original. The Belle in Disney's film was led by her curiosity (and her eventual love) towards The Beast, which originates from the small seeds of kindness in him and her ability to transform his selfishness and pain into care. Hosoda's Belle, on the other hand, was motivated by her sympathy. She recognized the Beast's pain as her own, and unconsciously realized that if she could heal his emotional wounds, she could heal hers.

That's what I love about this movie, and why it's a stand-out among its collection of other retellings: Belle isn't a movie about fixing someone else but about healing yourself. Our titular character is not bored of her provincial town or looked at weirdly for reading books or belittled for her larger-than-life ideas- she's in her own pain, in her own castle, facing her own demons, "a shadow of herself."

There are many things to explore in this film. The animation? Superb. Gorgeous. We got whales- another popular Hosoda theme. Alternate realities/personas? Check. How media transforms the accessibility of a crafted world, and how that connectivity differs from large-to-small scales? Sure. Belle is also a story about a normal (albeit shy and detached) girl with the sudden pressure and burden of becoming a global sensation overnight, and as much as I want to tackle this and everything else, I've managed to pace myself and condense my many thoughts into the five concepts/themes that impacted me the most, disguised as songs from Belle's own setlist because I saw an opportunity and I took it.

"U"

Belle is built on a vibrant virtual reality called U, an alternate scape that boasts an expansive internet society full of countless possibilities. The avatars (AS) are "automatically generated based on personal biometric information", and promises an opportunity to start over, a second chance at life. It doesn't explicitly state that you can be whoever you want to be, but we can all read between the lines. U is everyone's dream escape from the cruel reality we live in, and when Suzu is given her chance, she takes it. Of course she does. She knows that her life isn't satisfactory.

Despite the appeal of a second life, it's interesting how users aren't given a choice over their persona. Some of the users look monstrous, and I wonder if it was a theme that some easily accepted knowing that it was their own biometrics that built that image. Suzu's biometrics give her Belle, the gorgeous princess that even she wasn't sure belonged to her (but sweetie those are your freckles!!), which ends up becoming a visual representation of what Suzu is like on the inside- she's kind, sensitive, talented, gorgeous. The beast is also a shadow of his true self- a poor kid angry at the world he has to endure. I wonder, however, if the two would have looked differently if they were given a choice?

U offers that escape from reality, sure, but it only does so by presenting a different one, one that almost seems more vulnerable. It touches at the deepest roots of oneself and draws out hidden strengths and potential, like Suzu's ability to sing in the virtual world instead of the real one. The initial idea I had about U was that it was that chance to be different, that there's a general fear of being "unveiled" and revealing your true self, but isn't that backwards? Isn't your true self the one that's deep in your core, the one that only you know? The one that AS ends up building?

I walked into this section totally ready to tear down the concept. I had this idea of "if U was about being anyone you want to be, then what happens to the theme of accepting oneself?" But what Hosoda did sent me on a loop. Suzu knew who she was all along, but her trauma and self-esteem prevented her from being that person. U gave her the chance to step out of that shadow, and eventually embrace it during her own unveiling.

The contradiction of accepting yourself by becoming someone else somehow contradicts itself: Suzu's transformation was not a step away but a homecoming, and allowed her to fall back in love with the person she already was.

Here, I'll introduce a common thread that I've found while listening to the songs I've chosen on repeat: all of the songs have a common line between them. Suzu's "lalalas" scattered throughout her music are symbolic of her return to singing, the skill that sent her into U to find. Our opening song "U" starts us off with a rapid "lalalai/lalalai", a confident bell-like opening ringing in the beginning of Suzu's journey to reunite herself with her passion.

"GALES OF SONG"

The reveal of Belle's arrival to U, "Gales of Song" is a number teeming with anticipation. Suzu had just brought the audience along for her traumatic backstory of loss and grief, and we got to know our mousy high schooler who didn't think much of herself in the wake of her peers. She has a desire to sing, but trauma prevents her (emotionally, psychologically, physically) from opening her mouth. It's tragic. The scene of her losing her mother ripped my heart out of my chest; I can still hear the screaming.

So what does losing your mother in an accident have to do with losing yourself? Great question. We can always delve into that well-known narrative of a loved one always being a part of you, even when they're long gone, but I'd also like to touch on the opposite- that when someone leaves, they take a part of you too. In this case, Suzu lost her music, a gift from her mother. Her happiness stemmed on that part of her life, and suddenly she had no access to it.

There's self-depreciation here, too. The climax of this movie anchors heavily on one sentence that's mentioned in act one, when the news of Suzu's mother's death is being played in the back of Suzu's mental anguish of not being able to compose. She asks herself, "Why did you choose to save that girl instead of stay with me?" And it was that question that became her undoing. It was such a small line, I would have missed it if I never felt the same before. There's a reason I'm writing this post. This movie touched a part of my soul.

When you believe you're not worth it, when someone's choice puts your value into balance, you minimize your impact on the world so that no one has to make that choice ever again. You make that choice for them. When Suzu denies her love for her childhood friend in order for a more popular friend to get a crack at him, she breaks down, but she'd rather nip a loss in the bud then experience it out of her control. When sadness is manageable it's easier to carry, even if it consumes you.

That's why this song is so powerful. It's ranked 3rd in my top 3, because it's Suzu's release from her sadness. I gasped audibly- "thank god, she can breathe now" is what I must have thought. She's finally detached herself from that shadow she's trapped herself in, which is why the entire scene afterwards sees her grinning from ear to ear. She's finally found herself again. Things are working. Living has become a bit easier.

There's a desperation in this song, of her hoping that the "gales of song stay by her side", as it's a plea for happier times. This song starts with our "lalalas" as a tentative step into a new world, a test to see if her wishes will come true- and when they do, she embraces herself, and the love for what she does spreads to those who watch her. She has finally found her voice.

"LEND ME YOUR VOICE" (+ draft)

THE. BEAST.

I love foils in relationships. Give me a good girlxbad boy pairing and I swoon. The reason that bad boys are attractive (to me) is their confidence, a tangent I can go on for a long time if you'll let me. But I won't subject you to that. Not here. Here, we talk about The Beast.

Our dragon is a large, monstrous creature, defined by his ruthless victories in battle and the bruises muddling his back. The narrative spends much of its time deciphering his true identity, a search that seems strangely motivated at first. Because why search for the beast? What draws you to him, Belle? What makes an angry, violent guy like that worth paying attention to?

Suzu has a special way of looking at the world, that's why. She's seen things she wishes she hadn't. Her world is a dark and lonely one, a place where she shies away from a group photo with her friends or a microphone at karaoke or talking to the boy she likes. And when she spots our beast for the first time, she doesn't see him for the monster U makes him out to be, but immediately his eyes stray to the bruises on his back. He's hurt. He's hurting. Who is he?

He's you, Suzu. He's hurting just like you are.

Belle's motivation to help the beast is led by her empathy to his pain rather than her kindness, and this detail is what makes Belle a powerful narrative. She goes out of her way to uncover his secret not because she's swept up in the craze of his identity, but because she sees someone who needs help- desperately- and there's an internal clock ticking in her to reach out before it's too late.

It is later revealed through a strenuous search that the beast is a fourteen-year-old boy who spends the days after his mother's death protecting his brother Tomo from their father's abuse.

Despite experiencing similar losses in their lives, Suzu and Kei deal with their trauma differently. While Suzu minimized herself and navigated her life with indecisiveness, lack of confidence, and stifling self-inflicted loneliness, Kei lashed out as aggressively as he could. The world wasn't fair to him, and he wasn't going to live by the rules because of that. He became violent so that violence could not be done to him.

Belle mentions that the bruises on the Dragon's back are a sign of strength, but it's one of endurance, a lonely strength. It's the layering of pain that hardens one's shell. This pain does not lessen- it really can't- but instead, the body gets used to that suffering and gains the ability to carry it around. It's a method similar to how Suzu carries her grief, but these are defenses against attacks, not from a world reaching in to help. The fact that these bruises come from verbal abuse (it's hinted, but we're not sure if it's physical) shows that Kei is just as affected by the cruel words of his father as he would be if he was struck.

There's another lesson of worth here, too. Kei's been protecting his brother for who knows how long, but those words are nasty, and the saying "sticks and stones" has no power here. There's a point when victims start to believe their abusers words, because it's what they're used to hearing, and nothing has happened to prove them wrong. Kei's dragon persona may be a version of his strength, but I wonder if it's also the version of himself that he's convinced he is. He certainly acts that version when he pushes everyone away.

"Lend Me Your Voice" is our "Beauty and the Beast" of Belle- #2 on my list of top songs. Here, we see Suzu using what she's best at to reach the heart of someone she feels attuned to, and it's incredibly important. Not because of the dance sequence. We all loved the dance sequence. It was gorgeous. But this is our penultimate midpoint to our film- Belle's intentions change for the better.

Let's start with the draft of this song. Suzu is given the idea of writing a love song to Beast from her mother's choir friends, and on her way home she gives it some thought. Under her breath, she starts to hum a tune. That "lalala" comes in, shaky, and she trots along, but she's singing. This song is the first song that Suzu sings in the real world, and it's a powerful moment because she's singing for somebody else.

What made Suzu's detachment to music unbearable was that her mother was no longer there to listen to her songs. Sure, Belle has an audience of 5 billion people, but what got Suzu composing again was that she knew her song would touch the heart of someone that mattered to her, and her understanding of the Beast is a mirror to her getting to know herself a little better. Suzu is undoubtedly at her brightest when she sings songs dedicated to others.

And THE. BEAST. He's so taken in during her performance. This moment is just for him. It is a labor of love, a girl asking permission for him to open his heart and be vulnerable for him because she'll accept everything. And that's so important for fourteen-year-old Kei, who had to handle the burden of taking care of a broken family, of being dealt pain and abuse and suffering. He probably forgot that he was worth loving, too.

Belle asks the Beast to lend his voice to her, so that she can become his strength and source of love when he himself can't muster it.

And this. The light in his eyes. The pure adoration and wonder of this hug. She accepted him. This was everything.

"A MILLION MILES AWAY"

"But she cried in the theater, didn't she?? Where? Where did she cry??"

I cried at the climax. Obviously.

I wasn't the only one that cried. Didn't you see? The entire universe of U did too. Wonder why? Let me break it down for you.

Desperate to search for Kei in order to help him from his abusive scumbag father, Suzu has to take the leap and sing as herself in order to gain his trust. This decision was highly debated by the friends who rallied by her side for support (which I loved to see, because even when you make yourself small and insignificant there's still so many people who love you). Hiroka, her bestie and producer, is terrified of what'll happen if Belle's true identity is revealed, because all of Suzu's self-confidence will return to what it was before. Shinobu (oh handsome heartthrob Shinobu) urges her to take that step- not for Kei, but for herself. It was necessary to unveil herself, because she needs to be vulnerable to reach him. He has ulterior motives, which we'll get to shortly.

Suzu makes the move to unveil herself, and to everyone's awe the famous global superstar is... a normal high school girl?? What a power move. There were snickers from those who thought ridiculing her would make them somehow superior (she's just a normal girl), but I HAVE to mention Peggy Sue, her briefly mentioned rival who at the sight of Belle whispered, "She's just like me...."

Suzu starts to sing an emotionally charged song. She's asking Kei to reach out and return to her. "Come back to me." She's turning herself into a beacon so that the wounded boy can find her- and in turn, find solace.

Right?

Remember what the title of this movie is?

Belle is a story of rediscovery. It's a story about a girl who's lost her way, who finds a boy who's lost his. It's a story of this girl saving this boy, but she is not worthy of saving him until she is able to find the courage and strength to save herself. Shinobu knew this. That's why he told her to sing.

"A Million Miles Away" landed as my favorite song for a reason. It is not only a call for The Beast's trust, but it is a song for Suzu. Suzu's love for herself- one that could stand alone from her mother's affection- drifted out of her reach alongside her mother's death. There's a stark image of that child in the river during the middle of this song that stops Suzu in her tracks and dries her throat. She's asking for her happiness to come back to her, but does she deserve it? Is she worth that happiness, for even doubting her mother's decision in the first place?

When depression takes a hold of you, there's a desperation for returning to what once was. Happiness is a faraway dream, and you forget what it feels like. Even in my own dark moments, I wanted nothing more than to be able to write again, and it was hard knowing that the inspiration just wasn't there. But being desperate for happiness shows just how important is- the desire for light, for an unbothered breath of fresh air, for a moment of peace. Suzu's been in the dark for so long now. When she sings "come back to me", she's begging for that pain to finally leave her.

She gains an understanding. Just as her mother sacrificed herself for that little girl in the river, Suzu sacrificed the security of her persona in U so she could save Kei. This was never about worth- in order to save Kei, she needed to save herself, because how could she live with herself if she didn't?

The "lalalas" of this song are the most prominent. Her breath is shaky. She's startled by that flashback. She wavers, confused, unsure of herself, but its then that the voices of U's users sing back to her. They're all crying. We're all crying. They know that this world is an escape for them, and the desire for healing is strong and overpowering. They're rooting for her. They want happiness to find a way back to them, too.

The voices of those around her urge Suzu to be strong. They care. She matters. She's worth it. A celebratory motif sweeps into the soundtrack, her hope returns, her voice builds. Suzu urges herself to sing. She's found her voice, and she's never been happier.

Community is also a strong theme Hosoda carries through his films. It's a security blanket that wraps the protagonist in warmth and care. They're never truly alone, despite what they believe. Kei isn't alone now. And Suzu isn't, either.

"FACES IN THE RAIN"

There was one thing I was looking for in the final act of Belle, and I'm properly convinced that everyone else was looking for it, too. What happens, now? Will our antagonist get what he deserves?

Because we have an antagonist now, don't we? Kei's father is abusing his kids, and abusers must be punished so everyone can have a happy ending. Right?

Suzu makes it her mission to save these boys, despite the negative reaction from Kei when she offers her help. He's convinced that this is a situation he can never escape from, and he has to endure. Endure. Endure. So when Suzu does everything to find him against impossible odds, it's a moment of shock for everyone. Belle came for them. She's here.

But what can a high school girl do?

Scare the crap out of a grown man, that's what.

I love how this was handled. I know that there's a sense of dissatisfaction to the resolution- because their father wasn't arrested or even punished, as far as the audience knows. I was hoping to see that bastard in the back of a police car or behind bars- and maybe that's what happened to him.

But this story is about Suzu.

She arrives and takes both of the boys in her arms, and when their father tries to claw her away, she stands firm. Suzu is not that cowering girl in the beginning of the film. She doesn't say a single thing. She holds onto those boys as tight as she can and protects them with everything she has, and when she turns and stares down the true monster, he cowers. How could he not? This girl comes out of nowhere and sees him for the monster he is. She is not one of his victims. He has no power over her, and that is a terrifying realization for a man pushing people down for his own... ego? It's an awful thing to find a reason for why people hurt others, and I'm not here to find that out.

The open ending of the brothers is frustrating, sure, but Suzu's grown so much throughout the story that it's forgiven. She's found her voice. She's standing on her own two feet. She's protecting those that need her. "Faces in the Rain" is only her "lalalas" drifting against an orchestral accompaniment, and here we know that Suzu is who she's meant to be. This is her song. She's filled her voice in quite nicely. I love her for it.

Belle is a call for self-love and healing. It's a wonderful addition to Hosoda's collection, and I'm grabbing at it as soon as it gets a home release. It touched me deeply as someone looking for reason to return to better days, and I highly recommend it for those who haven't watched even though this post totally spoiled it for you. I hope you get as much out of it as I did, even though watching for the sake of the animation and the gorgeous music is a wonderful experience in itself!

I could say so much more about the importance of rivers or the cute sidebar of Ruka and Kamishin or even do a cute little post about avatars because how fun are those!!! But I'll leave you here.

This is my first post for my new blog, Faith's Book Blog, and even though I started out with a movie analysis post, I hope you can stay for future content! I'll also be doing some more deep dives on the other Hosoda movies because they're very near and dear to my heart, so a follow would be much appreciated!

Thank you for reading this ramble. Have a wonderful rest of your week!

(My favorite shot in the movie for your viewing pleasure.)

[faithsbookdiary]

Coming Up Next: Belle Movie Deep Dive! (01/21/22, 12 PM PST)

[faithsbookdiary]

BOOK LIST + MOVIE LIST

POST EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE*

BOOKS

The unread/in-progress books on my shelves include:

HARUKI MURAKAMI

Kafka on the Shore (finished)

The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle (finished)

IQ84 (in-progress)

Underground

Hard-Boiled Wonderland and the End of the World

A Wild Sheep Chase

Killing Commendatore

After Dark

SHOKOOFEH AZAR

The Enlightenment of the Greengage Tree (finished)

BAE MYUNG-HOON

Tower (finished)

BORA CHUNG

Curse Bunny

JOKHA ALHERTHI

Celestial Bodies

KAREN TEI YAMASHITA

Through the Arc of the Rain Forest

ABE

The Woman in the Dunes

BANANA YOSHIMOTO

kitchen

YAN GE

Strange Beasts of China

WU CH'ENG-EN

Monkey (in progress)

ROYALL TYLER

Japanese Tales

MOVIES

The movies I'd eventually like to talk about include:

Belle (2021)

The Boy and the Beast (2016)

Summer Wars (2009)

Mirai (2018)

Anthem of the Heart (2015)

My favorite Kdrama list: https://mydramalist.com/list/4a6NkMm1

(last updated 02/03/2022. Any recommendations can be sent via asks. Thank you!!)

*Frequency of posts tbd as I start out. Thank you for your patience!!

[faithsbookdiary]

The First Entry

I just got the email: I've officially earned a degree in Cinema and Television Arts (shoutout to that minor in Illustration)! I've got four weeks until it shows up in the mail. I'm moving on to the rest of my life, and that means (for now) job applications and financial insecurity and burning questions from my mom asking what I'm going to do now that time is at my disposal, and not having an answer.

I am on job application 15 and counting. The process is reminding me of the internship applications I had to do back in September, and that was already borderline traumatic (20+ applications, one response). It's making me realize how late I am to the game- how a pandemic and some crappy moments and the dwelling on both has really held me back from being that "perfect candidate" for the writing positions I want.

I have to rebuild my portfolio from scratch. I have to figure out what people are looking for, and if I have that certain something. I have to find out that all of the writing positions I'm looking at require 3+ years of experience, so how am I supposed to get experience if all the jobs need experience.

I'm working on personal projects until someone bites. I'm talking to people. I'm trying to prevent myself from feeling the stress of the Revelation: Hey Faith. It's looking like your education isn't helping you like you thought it would.

But that's not what this post is about. That's the teaser.

I decided to start a book diary for two reasons:

ONE, I took a Comparative Literature Class in my final semester, and it changed my life. The topic was an introduction to Asian Lit, which was something I was interested in because at that point in my life I was years down the rabbit hole of Asian Dramas and Kpop and Chinese web novels, and I wanted to explore different mediums. This class was amazing. Our professor was passionate and knew what she was talking about. We weren't being talked to, like a lot of college courses I've had to sit through- we were actually learning. I'm not much of a public speaker (aside from that anxiety of sitting in a classroom of silence when a teacher asks a question, and everyone refuses to answer), but I found that my ideas were easy to deliver in that room.

And the books. THE BOOKS. We sat with the Monkey King (who I was already hanging with long before the class started) and watched Ghibli and explored Korean poems and short stories from the Philippines and excerpts from China and Shokoofeh Azar and Murakami. Let me say that again. Murakami.

This class also placed a name on something that I've long been in love with: Magical Realism.

I used to get the genre confused with Urban Fantasy. I'd explain to my friends and readers and classmates that I loved writing personal stories in normal settings, but magic was alive and inexplicable and treated as if it was always there. Because I believe it is. Magic is around us in small doses if we look for it. Miracles happen. Intuition is correct. Sending best wishes work.

Knowing the True Name™ to what I'm passionate about let me explore its rap sheet. Murakami is bolded up there for a reason. I was assigned Kafka on the Shore and everything shifted. I couldn't stop talking about it. I had to show up to class with a discretion warning: I will not shut up. Beware me. JOHNNIE WALKER NEEDS TO BE TALKED ABOUT. I needed to find a platform to express my thoughts. I considered (note: considered) a Masters in English. Remember the degree I announced in the first sentence of this post? Yeah, a film degree's not gonna help me get into a program, but it won't stop me in the near future when all of my job search options have been exhausted.

I asked for more recommendations for magical realism books from my professor, as The Enlightenment of the Greengage Tree hit a similar chord. The list I received had another Murakami. I went from there. I now have 7 Murakami books waiting for me on my shelf, with an 8th on its way.

The second reason I'm starting this book diary arrived during my ongoing job search. When I look up writing positions on LinkedIn and Indeed and Glassdoor I get journalism and copywrite posts. I can write. I need to write. I don't mind taking time to build that portfolio, as frustrating as that is. But again, I don't have that experience. When I'm asked to link examples of my work, my pickings are slim. This book diary will help me get experience in blog writing, if anything. It's more of a personal pleasure project, but I'm not going to admit that.

I'm passionate about analysis, as proven in several of my film and art and screenwriting classes. I got nervous halfway through my Comp Lit course thinking that I was talking too much, and blamed it on being embroiled in an amazing internship that involved analyzing movies (I love you Katch). I don't mind expressing my opinion. I'm actually quite excited to. If I can find a job analyzing and recommending Kdramas I'm there. It's me. I will fight for that job.

So. This is a lot of talking. What are my goals for this book diary?

I'm going to get through those Murakamis and every time I find something interesting, I'm gonna talk about it. I'll keep going after I get through the Murakamis. That's my hope. My first few posts will probably be me ranting about Kafka on the Shore and The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle since I've finished those, and after I'll move onto IQ84 as I plow through it.

I love these books so passionately. Every time I read them, I'm inspired to write. I'm working on a radio play right now that encapsulates the magical realism I've learned through them, and I've never been so excited to work on a project. It just feels right. Like I'm supposed to be here.

Despite being typical Murakami (See: Johhnie Walker, Boris the Manskinner, Nakata's white blob, Aomame's ice pick, the Rice Bowl Hill incident, Manchuria, parallel worlds, alcohol, classical music, taxis, paragraphs of clothes, cats, invisible birds, incest, boobs, sex, sex workers, bald men, wells, a library, a forest, a teenager, a dream), these books open up my world a little wider when I turn a page. I'm so excited to explore what he has to offer, as well as the other books waiting in my shelf and perhaps the occasional Kdrama I haven't gotten over. This blog is for me. Let's get reading!