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Advise for Ramadan

R ead in abudndance the Holy Quran A bstain from food, drink and cohabitation M aintain your nightly trips to Masjid for Taraweeh A bsolve yourself from Hellfire through seeking forgiveness D eeds of good, never too many to have A ttempt to find and utilise the Night of Power in the odd nights of the last 10 N ever return to the sins you have turned your back on in this month

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Your nightmare could be someone else's dream.

Yousef Erakat

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1. There are plenty of ways to enter a pool. The stairs is not one of them. 2. Never cancel dinner plans by text message. 3. Don’t knock it ‘til you try it. 4. If a street performer makes you stop walking, you owe him a buck. 5. Always use ‘we’ when referring to your home team or your government. 6. When entrusted with a secret, keep it. 7. Don’t underestimate free throws in a game of ‘horse’. 8. Just because you can doesn’t mean you should. 9. Don’t dumb it down. 10. You only get one chance to notice a new haircut. 11. If you’re staying more than one night, unpack. 12. Never park in front of a bar. 13. Expect the seat in front of you to recline. Prepare accordingly. 14. Keep a picture of your first fish, first car, and first boy/girlfriend. 15. Hold your heroes to a high standard. 16. A suntan is earned, not bought. 17. Never lie to your doctor. 18. All guns are loaded. 19. Don’t mention sunburns. Believe me, they know. 20. The best way to show thanks is to wear it. Even if it’s only once. 21. Take a vacation of your cell phone, internet, and TV once a year. 22. Don’t fill up on bread, no matter how good. 23. A handshake beats an autograph. 24. Don’t linger in the doorway. In or out. 25. If you choose to go in drag, don’t sell yourself short. 26. If you want to know what makes you unique, sit for a caricature. 27. Never get your hair cut the day of a special event. 28. Be mindful of what comes between you and the Earth. Always buy good shoes, tires, and sheets. 29. Never eat lunch at your desk if you can avoid it. 30. When you’re with new friends, don’t just talk about old friends. 31. Eat lunch with the new kids. 32. When traveling, keep your wits about you. 33. It’s never too late for an apology. 34. Don’t pose with booze. 35. If you have the right of way, take it. 36. You don’t get to choose your own nickname. 37. When you marry someone, remember you marry their entire family. 38. Never push someone off a dock. 39. Under no circumstances should you ask a woman if she’s pregnant. 40. It’s not enough to be proud of your ancestry; live up to it. 41. Don’t make a scene. 42. When giving a thank you speech, short and sweet is best. 43. Know when to ignore the camera. 44. Never gloat. 45. Invest in good luggage. 46. Make time for your mom on your birthday. It’s her special day, too. 47. When opening presents, no one likes a good guesser. 48. Sympathy is a crutch, never fake a limp. 49. Give credit. Take blame. 50. Suck it up every now and again. 51. Never be the last one in the pool. 52. Don’t stare. 53. Address everyone that carries a firearm professionally. 54. Stand up to bullies. You’ll only have to do it once. 55. If you’ve made your point, stop talking. 56. Admit it when you’re wrong. 57. If you offer to help don’t quit until the job is done. 58. Look people in the eye when you thank them. 59. Thank the bus driver. 60. Never answer the phone at the dinner table. 61. Forgive yourself for your mistakes. 62. Know at least one good joke. 63. Don’t boo. Even the ref is somebody’s son. 64. Know how to cook one good meal. 65. Learn to drive a stick shift. 66. Be cool to younger kids. Reputations are built over a lifetime. 67. It’s okay to go to the movies by yourself. 68. Dance with your mother/father. 69. Don’t lose your cool. Especially at work. 70. Always thank the host. 71. If you don’t understand, ask before it’s too late. 72. Know the size of your boy/girlfriend’s clothes. 73. There is nothing wrong with a plain t-shirt. 74. Be a good listener. Don’t just wait for your turn to talk. 75. Keep your word. 76. In college, always sit in the front. You’ll stand out immediately. 77. Carry your mother’s bags. She carried you for nine months. 78. Be patient with airport security. They’re just doing their jobs. 79. Don’t be the talker in a movie. 80. The opposite sex likes people who shower. 81. You are what you do, not what you say. 82. Learn to change a tire. 83. Be kind. Everyone has a hard fight ahead of them. 84. An hour with grandparents is time well spent. Ask for advice when you need it. 85. Don’t litter. 86. If you have a sister, get to know her boyfriend. Your opinion is important. 87. You won’t always be the strongest or the fastest. But you can be the toughest. 88. Never call someone before 9am or after 9pm. 89. Buy the orange properties in Monopoly. 90. Make the little things count. 91. Always wear a bra at work. 92. There is a fine line between looking sultry and slutty. Find it. 93. You’re never too old to need your mom. 94. Ladies, if you make the decision to wear heels on the first date, commit to keeping them on and keeping your trap shut about how much your feet kill. 95. Know the words to your national anthem. 96. Your dance moves might not be the best, but I promise making a fool of yourself is more fun then sitting on the bench alone. 97. Smile at strangers. 98. Make goals. 99. Being old is not dictated by your bedtime. 100. If you have to fight, punch first and punch hard.

a high school teacher’s list of 100 wisest words  (via rabbrakha)

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Send me a number: Ramadhan special

1. Are you enjoying this blessed month?

2. What is your suhoor gameplan?

3. Have you become nocturnal?

4. How long is your fast?

5. What do you love most about Ramadhan?

6. Can you read Arabic?

7. Can you understand Arabic?

8. What do you do when you have free time during your fast?

9. What type of dates do you like?

10. What sort of food do you eat at iftaar?

11. What is the one thing you wish you could do if you weren't fasting?

12. 8 rakat vs 20 rakat?

13. What is your aim for the month?

14. What is the one thing you wish to improve on?

15. Where does your Adhan come from? (Tv, radio, phone etc.)

16. Do you feel different during Ramadhan in comparison to the rest of the year?

17. What do you do to help those less fortunate than yourself?

18. What do you do for your neighbours?

19. What is the one thing self-discipline is needed for?

20. Which lectures have you listened to recently that you have benefited from?

21. What is one piece of advice you would give to those who are fasting for the first time this year?

22. How old were you when you started fasting?

23. What is the most difficult thing about Ramadhan?

24. How many iftaars have you been invited to?

25. What are your favourite foods to break your fast with?

26. What does your average day look like?

25. How much Quran do you read/ listen to?

26. How has your relationship with the Quran changed during Ramadhan?

27. Do you feel closer to the deen now?

28. What will you be doing during the last ten days of Ramadhan?

29. What are you going to do for Eid?

30. How much do you love Muslim Tumblr?

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A very inspirational video. Ramadan Kareem.

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Aayyyyy

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TONIGHT. 10/9C. MTV. Are you ready?

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Come at me, bro.

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True story, bro

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Everytime!

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I don’t always run into walls, but when I do, I make sure everyone’s watching.

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Sleep

That moment when it’s 9am, I'm sound asleep, and my phone vibrates…I check the phone with barely one eye open and my daily newsletter says “Wake Up!” Fine, so I open both eyes and continue reading the article and it says “Sleep should not be sacrificed. You need your sleep.” OK, going back to sleep now.

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Me: *Doesn't party*

Me: *Doesn't drink*

Me: *Doesn't sleep around*

Me: *Doesn't get someone knocked up*

Me: *Stays up past 1 AM; Maybe goes downstairs to make a sandwich or something*

Parents: WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU WHY ARE YOU UP SO LATE DID WE TEACH YOU NOTHING WHERE DID WE GO WRONG YOU'VE WOKEN UP THE WHOLE HOUSE YOU HIDEOUS DEVIL CHILD YOU'RE DESTROYING THIS FAMILY.

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