frailfemme

[frailfemme]

It is confirmed that I do not have access to SSDI anymore. I lost it in 2023. The law firm I was referred to didn’t even seem to process what I told them about being screwed over and needing guidance on if I have a valid malpractice claim.

Maybe I just need to fill out the referral form again, but for malpractice this time.

I don’t know. At least I have therapy this week. (Haven’t for the last two and have been struggling a lot. Digital self-harm yesterday, lots of getting stuck in compulsive behaviors and not being able to stop, lots of emptiness and hopelessness.)

[frailfemme]

You don’t have to push through every feeling. You’re allowed to say, “Today is heavy.” You’re allowed to take it slow without it meaning you’re going backward.

[frailfemme]

Reminder that the best way to fight ocd is to let it pass. You don't have to seek reassurance. Just watch as your thoughts swim by, like fish in a pond, and try to do something else. Read a book you always wanted, go for a walk and take your surroundings, listen to a podcast about something you're interested in...

And if it's so severe that it's not helping, just remember — it'll get better. Just please, please hold on.

[frailfemme]

It’s so freeing. So much less time in the shower.

And this is probably just a “I’m femme” thing but don’t have to worry about putting an equal effort into styling my hair as I do my makeup and outfit+accessories when I’m going out dressed up, which is a huge spoon saver, and a time saver now that I have issues standing at the bathroom mirror and haven’t been able to even improvise a vanity table yet.

has anyone else disabled shaved their head recently and found it to be the most freeing thing?

i’ve had my head shaved a dozen times—but never without months of struggling with my hair beforehand and never with the free and open acceptance that this IS an accomodation for my life that makes many things easier. i feel so good i could cry 😭

[frailfemme]

❌: I lost most of two teeth to depression, that makes me bad for not taking better care of myself (utter nonsense, that’s a basic symptom of depression)

✔️: I have two 3D-printed teeth now. Body-modding beyond standard cisheteronormative ear-piercing, finally!

[frailfemme]

[frailfemme]

I don’t have to “earn” my “redemption arc”.

I have to do it.

[frailfemme]

yeah i suppose

[frailfemme]

“I’m a bad person” :(

[Have been justifiably upset about my mother misogynistically caring more about my brothers than about me, and keep ranting at her about it instead of leaving it alone]

“Okay maybe not a bad person but I need to learn how to shut my goddamn mouth”

[frailfemme]

[frailfemme]

I want so many PlushieDreadful bunnies, omgggg

[frailfemme]

I’m starting off Disability Pride Month in… quite the unfortunate way.

- tooth abscess from a root canal that didn’t stay filled until I was called back in for the crowns, and it took me a week to even call the dentist about it. They can’t see me for another week. I feel like shit, just very malaised and infected-sick and not just chronic-pain-sick. I want to sleep but I keep sleeping really poorly.

- I was due for a refill of my nerve medication and spaced and am now on day 3 of not having any. Without those causing my IBS to swing towards type C, I’m dealing with type D symptoms. The rest of me feels tense and uncomfortable. And I’m sweating a lot in bed.

- ocd/anxiety go BRRRR

[frailfemme]

to quote my bestie and pulitzer prize winner tony kushner “hope isn’t a choice, it’s a moral obligation, an obligation to the cells in your body” and “it is an ethical obligation to look for hope; it is an obligation not to despair.” like god. it is so fucking hard it is harder than anything in the world to wake up and have faith that things will be better and we can change things but it is the only thing we tangibly have and can pass on to other people. idrk where i was going with this but yea

[frailfemme]

Friendly Reminder to also Check Your Tiddies

[frailfemme]

A tiny part.

Buy my new book The Birding Dictionary!

[frailfemme]

michelle.cpy

[frailfemme]

my fave writing reminder

honestly, this phrase has been on my mind more times than i can count. i've kidnapped it, taken it as a hostage with no ransom money because i need it to live permanently in my head.