freeselfeducation - Tumblr blog

[freeselfeducation]

This will all make sense one day, I promise.

Perhaps that day is today, August 30th, 2023.

[freeselfeducation]

[freeselfeducation]

[freeselfeducation]

Hansei Here. 

Waking up in a cold sweat I ran to the mirror looking at my wide eyes, the first second not recognizing my own face. 

[freeselfeducation]

...since I wouldn't have known what the questions were, but since the words were "my family is questioning why we're not moving" & my response. "I want to know that too. What did you tell them?"

This is a FIRST GO (rough draft) followed by THE REDO*** (2nd draft). The third go is the LasTimE (castle) because the OBJECTIVE is to MODEL CONSENT.

[freeselfeducation]

DAY TWO

get out of the zoo & why we’re going to prove it to you, ewe, u & U. 

I have my themes & now, let’s really start to share why if you’re part of abuse of power & taking advantage of others, to just stop. You’re needlessly hurting others & it’s simply no longer acceptable. WARNING & not my issue if you didn’t “read it.”

The EXCUSES are so ridiculous & now, I’d like to really talk about sick people who are so selfish, they can’t even see it themselves, but don’t be fooled--they 100% know--since it’s the way my ex was, like his mother, obsessed with the imagery & why we can’t move because the appliances aren’t right or there’s carpet is beyond ABNORMAL. Why I documented it since I got married to someone who admitted finally, the he was forced to & that’s their word.

I can’t force him. 

They forced me.

Why there was no example of “adversity.” 

Just big tits.

Let’s get to writing these people’s PTSD please. I can’t live with their fucking words on replay anymore. I think being FORCED TO is a bit strong, honey. Let me correct it with your own psychological abuse(d) the goes back-and-forth, since that’s the interplay of every family gathering. 

Someone just died & someone is having a really hard time knowing what to expect.

[freeselfeducation]

DAY ONE

There has to be a reminder of what happened since it has changed my life--to be able to explain that we’re being traumatized in the way exposure to repeated moments that WERE unbelievable, well believe it. Never f with kids with special needs since there is a level of treating a population subhuman that simply does not fit with me. It takes ages to regain a basic skill after repeated trauma but if I continually conx to the outside world in the only way that I can do--through tech--then it explains one’s dependency on tech. I’m waiting for the day to get off of it forever, but until memory is intact it will remain.

I have 25+ digital sites to capture triggers with a sliver of hope to tell this story since it’s simply too personal & private, but the will to make sure nothing else happens is so strong, if shown the power of insanity---SHITTIEST DECISION MAKING---if the denial of the survivor who must live a world that doesn’t like you---ummm, bullies--is not elevated, we are doomed. We will have to give up.

[freeselfeducation]

What’s the big deal of someone sleeps. Their body must need it. Are they bothering anyone??? Who are they bothering? If anything, I’m bothering them but we need to think of SPACE DIFFERENTLY: my #BODY is on fire today because of #sarahpalin #ptsd of how she’s so ANTI-GAY. Wtf is wrong w people so BE LOUD & PROUD ❣️🖕✌️🙄🇺🇸🌈🌈🌈💥 because people died because they couldn’t be themselves... that’s #mentalillness in IMHO. You gotta know my themes to step inside my dreams... oh. How the corrupt scheme. They’ll know exactly what I mean when I say, spray, slay. We do this ONE WAY. The only way. With #MORALITY. Honestly, stay w #NORMAL & no bickering. Must recognize the purpose of #emotion & that we ARE NOT #charlottesville #KKK IS NOT #USA: it’s evil 🖕

[freeselfeducation]

Let’s start here & if you find the YouTube then you probably know I’m voting for. What do kids need? The truth about people so they can make a choice. To “do this life” with morality or to get as much as you can no matter what...

There are consequences to both & why not make sure kids have the right INFORMATION because you need to know yourself in case you ever have trauma. It’s about resiliency & hope you read #EMERSON.

Reading is only going to save is if we can interpret in the exact way intended & that means #HISTORY & #WAR & #RELIGION & the thing I like most, words.

The 3 playlists will be : (1) bullying especially female from 1st person account & “unbalanced family” structures between in-laws (2) history of #specialeducation & #mentalillness conx to #USA #electiON because it IS #morality (3) special sauce & it’s not cooking 🔥 still a problem...

You can argue self-harm & cutting when trying to dice but you can’t tell me I’m self-burning from #mentalillness. Pretty sure it’s nerves & intermittent headaches lately have been 0-20% of day without abt symptoms w no strategy. Sleep is 100% regulated & that can only be due to #WEED. The sadness is that people in the past did not have access because I waited ~2 years to smoke until stranded because being in a car was hell—oh!!! I remember all of it now!!!

[freeselfeducation]

I’m a poet so I wrote it in & then technology made sure no one “poked” it. Since—poof—disappears! In a strange new atmosphere where “parents” can be safe again? I appreciate the interest of one person TODAY. At MCA. Head injury, TBI/PCS with PTSD is no big deal when I win back divinity since they had to get real with me to feel what I reject—hypocrisy. Does poetry scare ya? Why I double dog dare ya to deflect that convo about a classroom for my kids ONE more time & this time, I won’t stare at ya. What is memory? What we hear. What we see. Documenting a stupified face looking back at me & the words were, “it’s your tone Ms...” but the trick is, that stupid expression is me/mine. Ugh. Next time I’ll find that perfect rhyme.

Lesson : never make a situation about educational discrimination & cognitive/physical & yes, sexual (an investigation that really didn’t follow policy) safety about one’s tone. Like eva.

No gag order & my only warder is bystander abuse on replay like a crank recorder & why PROJECT ONE (out of 25) is to officially resign from education online after I report what I found, the query always stigma bound of How To Stop the Rewind of voices saying COPE. No. Change the law since I reported abuse/neglect, lost my license, but I have great hope. Ptsd is “p”ics, “t”ouches, “s”ounds disordered, so I ordered it & that is why I now describe all their lies, my ptsd brain recorded IT❣️

Lesson : one’s ignorance can be the very thing to set them free. Two parents ask the principal to change the grading scale & my evaluation on him goes missing... leave ED. This isn’t your strength, dude.

I write “IT” here. I shared this site, for the first time in years. But freeeducation is safest, my determination to create is to elevate all who have helped me regain that teacher identity! Seriously! If I can teach myself anything then what’s the point of being a teacher who will always dream 🍎❣️ Not knowing what I wrote (that’s short term memory loss) & the “IT,” since I refuse to sit with these shittiest shits because my body gave out & after 6 years, I can’t handle it! Oh no 😬 but wait. Stop. Regroup. Demand—make the body move—then command since TODAY, shaking, dizzy, stiff & an immediate sense of how many people are in this space—get away from “IT”—call it out as fear—now groove—say, “u get outta here!” When you FACE IT, it can never adhere if you are crystal clear.

GIVE MY STUDENTS A CLASSROOM IS CLEAR TO ME.

Check time ✅ & I WILL NOT BE going tonight to the place of violence since decided to write [this] & next week, I can always try it —or not—already scared to share. How can I give it a go if I can’t get to that spot? An open mic night since creating a safe artistic space to learn work & play in is my only goal, hanging around too many adult play pens so start that pen. Deal with triggers. Write, go figure. It’s all full circle w 6 0 6 1 4. Someone breaking a silence & didn’t know then, but now, it did remove more violence since this admin is not just childish, but greed personified & oh the ways they lied & lied & lies.

Lesson : if you take federal money, do not violate IDEA (google it) & if you make up a story to ADA about pullout/pushin sercuves, it reveals NO KNOWLEDGE of your students’ rights. How can this person stand up for them?

In a nutshell,

Let’s encourage self-expression in a variety of hands-on & performance art ways. It’s possibly to include daily practice in self-assessment & self-regulation through modeling. Include biology/anatomy & the dialectic/the aesthetic as essential foundation skills. I witnessed things I can’t forget, uncomfortably numb about what exactly I was going to do about it after the principal walked out of a room when violence exploded during my evaluation thus showing me everything about basic stupidity (I had to return his laptop to him) & why I will always support debating ethics, intriducung psychology in the form of abnormal personality (insecure, lonely, inadequate) & creative problem solving 🙄 🌈❣️...that darkness is artless & with no outlet, it’s starkness KILLS CHILDREN’S FUTURES & not just my students. What do you think happens if ‘lil kids who self-harm & harm others never learn self-control? They become stats.

Education is Victimology & special education is intrinsic motivation + learning behavioralist, don’t forget.

T-note 🍎 took 72 minutes to write & tech blew up first written piece (took 37 mins) w 0 memory of what I wrote. (1st go & let it go) That’s the uj. Also, 3 audio flows to support physiological increase of symptoms w 100% awareness & ability to manage “flare-up.” Verbal ✅ Tech ✅ under 5 mins? ✅

ALL THESE WORDS INSPIRED BY a pic : THE END ✅❣️

TY J

[freeselfeducation]

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[freeselfeducation]

That’s why I created 25 safe spaces to get it out & tackle the VISUAL WITH THE HEAD PAIN 💥🔥💥🔥💥🔥💥🔥💥🔥💥🔥💥🔥 it’s the together & the mind + body. To see the “previous” writing, on my computer, what is filing up my memory is almost not worth it.

Is there anything to glean from it!?! Why ptsd can be the perception” of TRAUMA & STRESS if REMINDED THAT SELF is the body under “attack” by picture, sounds & touches disordered : so disperse it into the universe...”

Head trauma seem as mental illness & why 💀 is present when (a) no academic issues before & (b) enjoyment of reading is—poof—transfomed. Find a safe space & realize it’s not over until every area of multiple intelligence is exhausted : now, we’re ptsDONE : if I can return their hate...

[freeselfeducation]

COMMUNAL SPONGE... ewww

[freeselfeducation]

SETTING : carnival 

[freeselfeducation]

Chronic pain & figuring it out because we’re all different : OW is WOW but Whoa! Or WO : who you are won’t change #kavanaugh #drunk #mean y’know 🙋🏻‍♀️

[freeselfeducation]

You can’t say you don’t feel SOMETHING LOOKIG AT THIS. I know truth like instantly looking into this cat’s eye : it’s human. They’re like us. WOW. 

This is not going to be that hard. We love Nature. Let’s talk about WHY!!!!

eyes so blue you could swim in them