fuckedm1nd - Tumblr blog

[fuckedm1nd]

other people feel okay, even when they’re bored it’s not like the end of the world. when i’m bored it feels like fucking suicide i literally can’t see any reason to live then

[fuckedm1nd]

I feel so alone all the time and it's so tiring

[fuckedm1nd]

Pearl (2022)

[fuckedm1nd]

[fuckedm1nd]

i miss who i was and what i was able to do before he decided to take it all without even asking

[fuckedm1nd]

i hate him so incredibly much for what he did to me, but yet cant stop missing him (or at least the way he made me feel - sometimes)

[fuckedm1nd]

I wish people understood that not self-harming for a while doesn’t necessarily mean I’m fine and I’m doing good. I’m tired of everyone thinking it works like this because it doesn’t. There could be different reasons why I didn’t self-harm for a while (for example not wanting to cause problems, not wanting to go for another trip to hospital, not wanting to be a disappointment to people around me..) and I hate that nobody understands that I actually put so much effort into resisting the urges that are ALWAYS there and that I’m not fucking okay just because I haven’t self-harmed.

[fuckedm1nd]

[fuckedm1nd]

Just a friendly reminder

[fuckedm1nd]

“It’s a hell of a responsibility to be yourself. It’s much easier to be somebody else or nobody at all.”

— Sylvia Plath

[fuckedm1nd]

Over sexualizing myself to feel some kind of agency and control while simultaneously feeling repulsed to the thought of any human being touching me in any sexual way whilst craving human touch because i need it.

I just love trauma.

[fuckedm1nd]

[fuckedm1nd]

it always dawns on me how disposable i am. yes i can be useful to people when they want me to be but the truth is nobody truly needs me. what i can give people, which isn’t much to begin with, can be found anywhere from anyone else. i’m not special and i know that. i imagine myself not present in the lives of the people i love and it’s clear they wouldn’t be missing out on much. not to mention how it feels like people only merely entertain me, maybe out of pity than anything else. i’m only as good as people want me to be and when they don’t want me anymore there isn’t anything i can say or do that’ll convince them i’m worthwhile. i am nothing.

[fuckedm1nd]

I can’t imagine a future. It feels as if I’m not meant to be here

[fuckedm1nd]

sometimes i feel like there’s something so deeply wrong with me that no one else will ever understand me

[fuckedm1nd]

I am constantly between wanting people to care about me and wanting them not to so I can hurt myself without feeling guilty