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gamarancianne · 2 months

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Azriel x reader - In Between part III

Part I, part II

Summary: after the disastrous family dinner, you started to get yourself up again by going on dates with a guy working in your coffee shop. But what happens when, by denying your irresponsible acts, you start to hurt your friend

Warning: angst, toxic guy, denial, so much denial, kinda rude Lucien, mean and rude reader, hurt, smut if you squint, and allusion to slut, anxiety, overthinking, regret, lots of regret. Not proofread, my English.

Note: sorryyyyyy for the angst babes but I promise the next part will be *chef kiss*. Love you all ! Thanks again for the love, the support and above all the understanding of my pause 💗💗💗

Also I wanted to say that i move when you react by reblogging or commenting it makes my days !!!

The ring of the coffee shop you worked in, pulled you out of your well deserved dream. Since you started working again, you sunk again in the meanness and the rudeness of the many customers that came in and almost insulted you ordering their coffee.

What you didn't expect was that it was Feyre, your High Lady who came in. You stilled, back high in your position, your eyes wide open. Her eyes scanned the small and cozy room and brightened when they found your frozen figure. She smiled brightly at you and you felt like you were looking at the sun. She approached the counter and said:

"Hello you !

-High Lady." You bowed your head. She pouted.

"I thought I already told you not to call me that. I'm Feyre to you.

-Right, sorry Hi-Feyre.

- Don't apologize". Her smile returned to her beautiful face. Awkward you asked her:

"So what do you want on the menu.. I have a few favorites if you want advice."

You wondered why did she come in your coffee shop where as there were many that were way more luxurious.

"Oh I didn't want anything, I wanted to see you.

-Me ? But-

- Yes you, I didn't particularly wanted to talk to the wall behind you".

You chuckled at your nervousness.

"I, again, apologize for the mean and completely undeserved behaviour of my sister a few days ago".

The sun of her face was instantly replaced by dense and grey clouds as remembering this bad memory.

"Don't worry really ! It's not your fault, you should not feel guilty about something you haven't done. You haven't been anything but nice and kind to me when I arrived at your private home, kinda inviting the space and the calm of your family.

-No no no ! I feel like you help Lucien a lot, and since he got here it was difficult to talk through what happened to us but I really care about him you know, so I feel delighted to know that someone else does too. And I liked you since I saw you so I wanted to know you!

-It means a lot to me Feyre, really, I liked you too, you're an incredible woman."

She put a hand on her heart, her sea eyes full of emotions and love.

"Well maybe I'll trust you and order something. Get me your favorite!"

You smiled at her and prepared her order, she paid you way more than needed and left after waving goodbye and promising to return to see you maybe with Nyx.

Even serving mean customers, your day had been way better since Feyre came in to say hello. As you were closing the shop, Aaron, the brown haired guy who worked with you was waiting for someone outside. You started walking on the street to your appartment he came to you blushing.

"Hey yn? He asked awkwardly.

-Yes ? You turned to him questioning.

-You know, from a very long time I think you're really kind, and smart and pretty. And I wanted to ask you three weeks ago but you stopped working so it's now or never. I'd really want to go to dinner with you if you'd like.

-Oh my gods that's really kind of you ! Why not ? When do you want to go ?

-Are you free tonight I know a nice restaurant down the street ? He asked relieved from your former response.

-Yes let's go ! I didn't know it before but it seems really nice."

Your walk to the dinner was filled with laughter et joy. It's atmosphere was warm and cozy, just what you needed. You both ate in a comforting silence and he walked you back home.

"I just want to make myself clear. He said hesitantly. Tonight was a date, for me, I like you a lot so..

-Don't worry, it was one for me as well, I've really enjoyed it, it was a nice evening thank you for paying by the way.

-No problem. Then, since we both agree on that, what would you say about another one in 2 or 3 days?

-Yes I would appreciate that ! We'll organise that tomorrow though because I'm really tired now and all I want is to jump under my covers.

-Yeah of course.. yeah see ya !" He kissed you on the corner of your lips and you saw him shrink as walked the down the fairy lit street of Velaris.

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The days at work were now so much more joyful and you appreciated it a lot. Your coffee guy and you had been on 4 dates lately and you had one again tonight at the same restaurant. You were disappointed in the fact that you both did exactly the same things as dates but he was nice so you brushed it off. You haven't told anything to Lucien yet, and you could bet that he had guessed because of the suspicious looks he gave you when you would go to work. The bell rang again and Feyre came in for third time in the week. She had been coming with Nyx lately, today was an exception, because he seemed to like you, even to be enamoured with you. That's what Feyre had said. You loved him too, he was so small and so cute with his cheeks burning red everytime you would come up to him and kiss him on the nose or the forehead. You brightly smiled at her but she seemed a bit off today. You frowned a little and when she arrived at the counter you took her and led her to a more private table. You could see she was thankful thanks to her beaming eyes.

"What's happening Fey?"

You had a thing with nicknames, it was your own love language. Everytime you would meet someone new, and that you liked them of course, they would end up with a nickname of yours, even your high lady.

"Well, Rhys and I are really really tired because of the parenthood and we haven't had time for ourselves, I mean our relationship lately. Plus with the tiredness, we argued this morning and said bad things that we didn't mean but nobody apologized for now. And I would've liked if Rhys and I could go to a 3 days maybe 2, vacation at the cabin to rest and enjoy eachother a little...

-Do you want me to babysit Nyx ? You cut her off and she seemed embarrassed to ask you that.

-Well, I know we've been friends just for a short period of time but Nyx only wants you to babysit him, we've tried everyone but he can't seem to stop crying or asking you if you aren't the one to keep an eye on him. I'm really sorry yn.

-Hey Fey, don't worry really. You brushed an arm on her shoulder to ease her tension. I asked because I wanted to offer my help, there's no need to be embarrassed, of course I will stay with this little demon. And you know, even if it's not since a long time, I value and cherish a lot our blooming friendship."

She hugged you tightly and you did as well.

"Also, enjoy Rhys and don't worry you can even go one week if you want. But do you mind if on the morning I come here with Nyx, unfortunately I can't stop work.

-Really ? Oh my gods you really are the bestest friend!! And yes he loves your coffee shop anyway. Are you free to start tonight ?"

You nodded and she hugged you goodbye and stormed off the shop surely to inform Rhys, a big smile on her beautiful face.

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The day at the shop had been quite calm and relaxing, on the contrary of usual. You had cancelled your date and he seemed a bit mad, but you understood so you brushed it off. You were walking to the townhouse now, listening to the lovely music of the talented artists of the rainbow. As you walked through the door, Rhys came at you, eyes thankful as ever, and hugged you saying that it meant a lot to him and that you were helping him with his relationship and he was so grateful for that. You reassured him and after discussing with Fey she led you to the little Lord of the night who was playing with a giant figure that seemed way too familiar to you to be at ease, before running into your arms and screaming your name. The figure flinched and stilled before beautiful Hazel eyes sunk into yours and you lost yourself in the beauty of the male sat before you. Azriel. He was there, playing with Nyx and his toys and you were hugging back Nyx, hung on your legs. Feyre quickly hugged you goodbye and vanished away when her and Rhys windowed straight to the cabin. You couldn't move, you were frozen on your feet but Nyx pulled you sat in front of Azriel.

"Let's play with my favorite aunt and uncle !"

He was so oblivious to what was going on between you and Azriel, so innocent. It was kinda cute but you couldn't think of that I that moment.

"He wanted me to stay but not without you, I'm sorry if I make you feel awkward. Azriel explained, eyes filled with genuine apologies.

-Dont worry, he's the little king after all, he gets to decide."

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On the contrary of what you had expected, Azriel, Nyx and you had had a very good week. Azriel and you were really organized: while you were working he would take Nyx out flying and is he had reports or little missions to do you would take the little Lord to the coffee shop and under the hard gaze of your coffee guy, Azriel would come pick you both up. The night you would both play, read and then put Nyx in bed with a kiss. After the conversation was not awkward at all, you discussed a little bit of everything in your life: Azriel had told you the story behind the siphons he had and the Carynthian trial, what a fool you were asking him the first time where you could buy them. And you told Azriel the story behind the library coffee shop you held, the fact that being a girl you weren't given the chance to read and always admired the beautiful books in a library or a bookshop, so you decided to allow people who couldn't afford books to read, especially if they loved it. You talked and talked and laughed, but never ever has the infamous subject been approached. But it was better this way, to move on and everything.

Tonight was the last night with Nyx and after a flying time, a picnic near the Sidra, and a 3 scoops ice scream on the way back home, Nyx was now in his pajamas and ready to go to sleep after a big day of activities. But he wouldn't manage sleeping if you weren't in bed with him pretending to sleep as well.

That's the reason why you found yourself tangled on the couch with Azriel, an almost sleeping Nyx on your lap while the former was reading him a story. Gods that voice of his ! It was so attractive.. how could you move on to that ?? You were almost eye fucking him at this point. But in effort to not make a fool of yourself, you closes your eyes and tried to relax a little. But what you didn't expect was to fall asleep with his voice, which he didn't expect too. He found himself with Nyx and the beautiful female he would like to call his asleep on him. Oh gods he was panicking. He didn't really realise you were asleep on him. YOU WERE SLEEPING ON HIM !!! Azriel was trying to catch his breath to no wake you up but it was difficult knowing that you laid on his chest, holding tightly his shirt, clearly a sleeping beauty. So he relaxed himself as well and fell asleep too.

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You felt sunlight peak through your eyes closed but they felt too heavy to open them and wake up. Plus you were so comfortable, it was warm and there was tight arms hugging your waist and chest.

But around 5 minutes later, your mind found consciousness again when you hear little giggles coming from above you. You opened your eyes and saw two pairs of icy and violet eyes looking straight at you, glistening with joy and mischief. You wondered why until yours went wide as you realised the arms and the warm wave from the one and unique Azriel. Rhys bursted out of laughter at your panicked face and Feyre poked and scolded him for wakening Azriel. Because yes, he did. And Nyx woke up too, jumping on his parents still laughing at now two panicked faces. After thanking both of you, Feyre and Rhys seemed to be having their own secret conversation because of the way their eyes went glassy in a matter of seconds. So you jumped on the opportunity to flee, to run away from this damn situation. What have you done ?!

Arriving at your appartment the door was open so you assumed Lucien had stayed in. Coming in you were met with him yelling at you.

"Have you lost your mind ?"

You had never seen him like that and you didn't understand why.

"What ? What's going on Lu?

-Don't Lu me right now, that's not the time ! I've learnt that you were having dates with a guy for 2 weeks now? And besides the fact that you haven't told me anything, which I'm upset for, that damn guy came today. He was fuckibg banging at the door, almost crashing it ! When I opened, we both explained our situation with you, he got mad, started yelling that you were going to fucking pay for the fact that you were avoiding him and seeing another male he saw you with !

-Dont worry Lu, I don't see anyone else, I was just babysittkng Nyx with Az, that's all.

-But I don't care about that! That's not the fucking problem! The damn thing is that this guy is a walking Red flag! He screams toxic a hundred miles away ! And seeing him yelling like a godsdamned animal earlier, it wouldn't surprise me for him to be an abuser! So stop seeing him please !

-What ? No ? You're emphasising Lu, he's not like that I promise, he's kind and nice to me!

-Please yn.. I've seen him.. I dont want you to get hurt."

The whole conversation was starting to upset you. You hadn't slept a lot, had woken up awkward as hell and you hadn't even put a feet in your own appartment that your best friend started screaming at you for a guy he didn't even know.

"Okay Lucien." He stilled, you never called him that usually.

"It's not because your own relationship didn't work that you have to have a word on mine or ruin it for me to still be the pitiful single not-even-bestfriend of yours."

He opened his mouth, ready to talk back but nothing came out of it. You saw the big pained look in his eye and immediately regretted your action.

"Oh my gods Lu, I'm so sorry I didn't me-

-As you said.. don't Lu me right now." He said cold voice starting to walk to the doors.

"NO PLEASE LU!" It was your turn to scream now.

He slammed the door shut, and you cried your whole heart out: you were such an ass. No wonder why Azriel, then Elain and now Lucien had walked away from you. You hurt everything and everyone you loved. Feyre might even be pretending to be your friend. You only felt just an ounce of relief when the cool breeze of a shadow caressed your the back of your neck.

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The shadow had stayed the day and helped you with everything. It was comforting really and you needed it. You blamed yourself for what happened with Lucien earlier, really you did and you only thought about that. But you still went to work and met your coffee guy who proposed a date the night for you to make it up for the lost time. That's what he had said with a wink. You had nodded but hadn't said anything, a little hurt by what he said. Maybe Lucien was right after all ? No that couldn't be possible. You couldn't possibly be terrible in every relationship choices you made ? So you agreed and back home before the date, you decided that you would indeed make up for the lost time. You dressed yourself in a long blue dress with your back naked, attached your hair in a stylised bun and put on mascara and red lips. You were really sexy and beautiful. For once you could admit it and call you that.

The dinner went well and on the door, he kissed fervently. At first you were shocked but still answered to the sloppy kiss. He pinned you on your door and after a pressing unlock, he slammed it and carried you to your bed for what you thought to be a sleepless night.

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It was a sleepless night indeed, but not like you thought it would be. He wasn't even food in bed and you had spent the entire night regretting it but fearing of just moving an inch. You had just been staring at the ceiling wondering what had you done again and thinking about the fact that you should have listened to Lucien. Panicking again, in a too short period of time, you sensed again the shadow curling against your neck, as if it was comforting you.

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Taglist:

@mirandasidefics @63angel @leeknows-wife @thehighlordishere @annaaaaa88 @starsinyourseyes @oucereeng @wallacewillow0773638 @kalulakunundrum

Sorry for the tags that didn't work I couldn't find your accounts :/

#acotar #acotar x reader #azriel x reader #writers on tumblr #acotar x you #writing #lucien acotar #lucien vanserra #feyre archeron #rhysand #azriel x you #azriel x yn #azriel acotar #azriel

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gamarancianne · 2 months

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Hey everyone, turns out I had a lot more exams that I thought I would, so here I am apologising again that I can't publish anything yet. But in one week I will be in vacations which means freedommmmmmm !!! And time to write !!! So I promise I'll return I won't abandon you with the angsty ends that I gave you.

And again thanks for your comprehension and your live for my work !!! 💗💗💗💗

#talkswithgarance #acotar x reader #acotar #writers on tumblr

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gamarancianne · 3 months

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Hii I was the one who requested the Helion fic. I am so sorry for causing all the trouble. I have sent this request to a few of my favourite authors and didnt expect to get two fics. Im really sorry for disrespecting you. I love your version of the ask as much I as I love the other one. Againg i apologise for all the disrespect. I jope you have a great dayn or a good night.

Hiii it's really nice to apologise and I gladly accept it ! Youre so sweet for doing that!! I'm not mad nor upset at all! Promise !I'm still going to write for your ask of cassian bc I love the idea and part 2 of this story too don't worry. The only problem is that when doing that, which I can understand also as a reader, you can make believe some people that writers are copying work of eachother which is horrible. It happened once don't worry its okay bc we were calm and educated adults talking and understanding. So right now it doesn't matter don't worry you're still free to ask anything just understand the possible struggles that come after 💗💗💗

You're one of the greatest anon of this app !!

Plus I'm not gonna lie I thought after this that you didn't really care of the fics but dw now everything is fine !!!

(Cassian's story is on the way !!!!)

#talkswithgarance #helion x reader #acotar

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gamarancianne · 3 months

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Okay hello everyone I'm so so sorry about not posting yet, I am currently under lots of exams until the end of the week. So until there I won't be posting anything I think. But if you're lucky, maybe Wednesday? I'm really not sure... but anyway thank you so much for all the love for my fics I love you all so much 💗💗💗

And again don't hesitate to send me requests or anything because, it's certainl that I will pop up again for good next week, and I need inspiration or ideas to write !!

#talkswithgarance #acotar x reader #azriel x reader #helion x you #acotar

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gamarancianne · 3 months

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I've just read part 2 of Az and the reader! Omg, my heart hurt so much when Elain dumped those things on the reader, making her feel, for a moment, insecure about her friendship with Lucien was the most unpleasant thing on her part. And Lucien going to hug her afterwards and the little things in her apartment? Lovely, lovely. I confess I laughed when they found out who was who at dinner time hahaha.

I loved the second part! Thank you for writing it💖 It was one of the highlights after a very busy week of studying for college exams. How are you? I hope absolutely fine!

🌨

Hello you!! I'm so happy that you felt every emotion that I wanted to transmit in part 2 ! And yes Lucien is the best clearly, and him and reader are the best duo ! Tha fact that reading my work was the highlight of your week, is everything to me, like omg i feel like I'm gonna cry ❤. I too got a stressing week with the fact that I got back to uni and had a lot of exams too.. but it's almost over so part 3 of In Between, part 2 of Always yours never mine, and even a fic with Cassian are coming and won't take time to pop here. Bye ! Love you all ❤❤❤

#talkswithgarance #anon🌨#anon ask #writers on tumblr #🌨

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gamarancianne · 3 months

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Azriel x reader - In Between part 2

Part 1

Summary: trying to regain your confidence after your broken heart, you met someone in the same position as you and developped one of the best friendships you had ever had. A genuine and sincere friendship. But this person may be closer by other ways to you than you thought.

Warnings: still angst, alcohol in a not healthy way, heartbreak again, hypocrite Elain (kinda slander ig), Lucien being the best.

Note: well maybe a part 3 ig 😅, I was really inspired tbh. Thank you all for having loved the part 1 and shared it with me ! Ily 💗💗 and don't hesitate to ask me something or chat with me in my inbox or dm, or in the comments !

You had been a crying mess for two weeks now, sometimes you went out in a bar to drink so much you would forget even your name. That was the point, forget the constant sting in your heart and you head. Forget him, his beautiful Hazel eyes and inked tattoos on his broad and golden chest. And here we go again: the tears flooded themselves on your face. It was a day to drink today, or tonight, you didn't really have a time notion for the past two weeks: waking up at dawn or dusk, eating, crying and sleeping. You had to forget about all those beautiful things about him, you had to empty your brain and heart. You didn't want to feel something again.

As you were walking to the nearest bar, you thought about those letters elain had sent you, saying you were her dearest friend and asking if your confession went well. You knew she knew that it was you in her apartment that cursed day, but she still pretended and even was saying the complete opposite of what she had said to azriel, falsely comforting you. Was she ever was your friend at this point ? Or has she always criticised and stabbed you behind you back ? Anyway you had decided that it was way better for you to ignore her and keep living your life, if you could still call what you were living a life, without her.

You didn't even noticed when you had arrived in front the door of the bar, but you did and entered, going directly to your now favorite spit in front of the barman : the alcohol was there easier to get. You didn't see then, the redhead man who was at the exact place you had been the few days prior. How dare he steal your chair like that ? Approaching slowly you stilled and you understood that this man was surely in the same situation as you, a heartbreak, seeing his bent frame and the many empty glasses in front of him. They could only have been his because no one was seated near him, and everyone was judging him. They were all avoiding the poor man whose name you didn't know.

"I was almost mad at you for stealing my favourite seat" you stated, seating next to him as his head shot to your side wondering if you were really talking to him.

"Yes I'm talking to you"

"Ah, I'm sorry for your seat do you want it back ?" He asked, genuinely embarrassed, his cheeks flushed.

"No I'm fine here, I can speak with you ...?" You asked ?

"Lucien".

"I'm yn, and as I was saying, I can speak with you here Lucien" he nodded.

"Nice to meet you yn, but you don't wanna talk to me, don't you see all the glares everyone sends me here ?" He drank in a one shot what seemed to be whisky and stared again at his now empty glass.

"Oh gods you men !" He looked at you confused "I know what I'm doing fuck ! I'm a grown up woman and I can make my own choices ! You re the second on in two weeks who tells me what I want or not." You snapped.

"Oh I'm sorry, then stay if you want." He apologized quickly.

You asked shots to the barman and stayed silent a bit nefore you both asked in one voice "what are you here for ?". You two chuckled a bit before you said "you first".

"Well I've kinda learnt that my mate, who knows that she is my mate is dating someone else. And I feel like I'm not allowed to have just once an ounce of happiness." You were hurt for him as you heard his story that he told you with a careless demeanor. He must really be at his lowest.

"Ouch that hurts, I'm sorry man. She's a fool if you want my opinion." He smiled sadly at your answer and pointed you from his chin asking you silently your story.

"Well im heartbroken as well, my best friend encouraged me confessing to the man I love, but he rejected me, and not in a nice way. But as lucky as I am, I learnt that he is dating my best friend who is a back stabber." I emptied my glass in one drink.

"Ouch that hurts too, I'm sorry." He said echoing my words.

We spent the night drinking, and drowning ourselves in alcohol but in a more joyful way than usually.

I then went more and more at the bar to see him, but we drank less and less, leaving place to real conversations between us. It became quickly a routine, and Lucien became one of my best friends, well my only friend of the time actually. And I was one of his only friend as well. Two broken hearts healing parts of eachothzr then didn't even break. Lucien had explained to me his family problem, and how his former male best friend was a toxic man in relationships, how he had been poorly treated in his biological family, and how his actual best friend was his mate's sister so he didn't know how to approach her anymore. He came a lot in my appartment to spend time with me, he even slept in sometimes, because he couldn't face his current family. He practically had his room in your home, some of his stuff never really left.

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After 2 knocks on your door you unwillingly got off your couch and opened it letting a wild and out of breath Lucien appear in front of it.

"Lu ? Are you okay ?" That was his new nickname, he loved it, because he felt like he was loved for once in his life.

"Yes.. no ? I need you to come with me like right now ! "

"Oh okay let me get me keys and I'm coming" you trusted Lucien too much to ever doubt about him, if he needed you then you were there for him.

You left your apartment and went to the direction he indicated. After a while you panicked a little, seeing that you were going to the high lord's house.

"Lucien you know I love you but where are we going?"

"To a family dinner, I can't go alone. See, my mate's relationship got complicated and she always complains to me when I'm alone, which is all the time. So I feel like I'm just a plan b and I'm really uncomfortable when she does it. Don't worry I've told them that someone was going with me."

"I understand Lu, but at the high lord's ?" You asked sceptical.

"Well yes, because my best friend I told you about is Feyre."

"What ?" Lucien, had never told the names of his family members, and you neither, so discovering that his friend was you high lady so that you were going to see Azriel made you weak to the bones.

"Lucien ? Your mate is Elain ??"

"What, yes ? How do you know ??" He exclaimed as he stopped on his tracks.

"She is the fake friend I told you about !" You answered on the same tone.

"So it means that.."

"I am in love with Azriel... yes."

"Oh gods" you both sighed.

"Hum yn ?" He asked unsure of what to say.

"Mmh"

"Have I told you that Cassian and him were the ones to get us to the house?"

"No, no, no. Please no ! But what would we even need to be picked up ?"

"We can't winnow so it's either that or climb 10 000 stairs".

Both fearing the fast approaching dinner, the last part of the walk was silent and the air heavy with tension. You held your breath when you saw two winged big figures, Cassian and Azriel. The first one shot his head in your direction and smiled confused.

"Yn ?" Azriel stiffened as he heard your name. "What does owe us the pleasure to see you ?"

"I'm the one to go with Lu today but I didn't know it was with you...". Azriel froze completely still turning his back to you. He wasn't sure it was you but now it was certain and he couldn't face you after the mean things he had said to your face. He hadn't talked about it to anyone except Elain and he kinda regretted it now. Things had got complicated between them because after your love confession she had grown so much jealous! He couldn't bear it anymore, he was a free man, he hadn't wings for nothing! They would argue a lot more and he hated that because it triggered bad memories in him. Plus he felt a bit bad about you. You hadn't done anything to him to deserve to be treated that way, he was ashamed of his actions because he knew that, as insecure as you seemed to be, you might have been spiralling since. That wasn't him, that wasn't how he was supposed to be. When he got Elain, she changed him a lot, and he wasn't sure anymore that it was for the good. She crushed all of his efforts to keep the bad parts of him inside. He was meaner, colder, he wasn't himself. Rhys have scolded him a little about that and he had really reacted in a bad way. An evidence of what Rhys had advanced. Azriel was sure he had made you feel bad, and he didn't want it : you were a nice and smart female, a little clumsy but still beautiful and lovely. As he finally turned to you, all of his regret splashed on him when crossing your look and seeing you pained eyes. You quickly put your head down and he felt even more bad to have made lose enough confidence for you to fear to hold his gaze. Thinking about it, he didn't understand you insecurity of the beginning, before the altercation. How could you, a very beautiful female, ever doubt about yourself ?

Realisation hit him, that he would have to take you flying because it would be awkward if he took Lucien, his girlfriend's mate. He knew she was complaining to him, and he felt even sorry for the poor Lucien. But a question lingered in his mind: how did you two know eachother ? And why the fuck would Lucien bring you to a family dinner ? Were you dating ? Fear crossed his eyes for a second before regaining his composure. You couldn't be dating Lucien, it was impossible, you had just said two weeks ago that you loved him. Could you have moved that fast ? It frightened him, knowing that he had grown to like you when thinking of your shared moments at training, where you two had laughed, sometimes until crying joy tears, and regretting the mean rejection he had given you in return of something so intimate and innocent as your love and devotion for him. Damn him he had even insulted you ! He cursed himself more and more until he got out of his head when Cassian called him.

"Azriel wake up ! You take yn." He said when shooting in the sky Lucien in his arms.

You both stayed in an awkward bubble, without moving an inch, avoiding the gaze of one another, for 30 long seconds that felt like hours.

"I'm sorry" and "so how are you doing" came at the same time from him side you. You awkwardly chuckled but he stayed still so you stopped finally having the guts to look at him in the eye for more than a millisecond.

"I'm sorry." He repeated, louder this time. You froze. You didn't want that to happen. You didn't want him to face you abut what happened. It would made it real, and you still hadn't enough courage for that.

"What for ?" You asked, your voice breaking.

"You what for".

You hesitated a lot before responding. "No actually I don't. Was it for mean rejecting me without an ounce of regret or nicenessin your words ? Or maybe the fact that you destroyed my confidence? Oh no ! I know, it was for the time you mocked me in front of my friend, who is in fact your girlfriend, and a fake friend!"

"You weren't supposed to be there that time." He said, suddenly finding the floor really interesting.

"Maybe but I was, so it's the same result and the same mean words that came out of your mouth."

He knew you were right. You were completely allowed to be mad at him for the way he treated you. But it was still hard. Azriel had never been in proper relationships nor had he ever been confessed to. It wasn't a proper excuse but it still made it hard to accommodate to those things for a boy deprived of love for all his life. He didn't know how to react, so to him, the better solution was to stay silent. You sighed, disappointed and he came awkwardly closer to you to hold you and shoot in the sky, following Cassian and Lucien, long arrived and waiting for you worried (especially Lucien).

Elain was waiting for Azriel, or Lucien, no one knew, on the balcony of the House of Wind and almost fell when she saw you. You in Azriel's arms, accompanying Lucien. Azriel struggled to let you go, especially after your conversation, but the second you were out of his hold, Elain held you in a crushing hug. You rapidly got out as well, feeling uncomfortable after her hypocrisy. You gave her a sad smile and Lucien introduced you to Feyre and Rhysand who had already told you to call them by their name, and to Mor and Amren. They all welcomed you warmly except Elain and Azriel of course who both looked like ashamed puppies with their tails between their legs.

After dinner, everyone went out in the garden for a tea and you found yourself on a couch behind Lucien sat on the floor. Automatically, because it was something you were now used to do, your hands found his head and started playing with his hair. Everyone had their eyes on you, confused on your proximity but you didn't notice and kept going on braiding his hair.

"I'll do yours later I promise" Lucien said, looking at you from above.

"I hope so !". Leaving everyone even more confused now.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

When you were ready to left with Lucien, Elain caught you and asked you to have a word with her.

Lucien gave you a worried look and you nodded making him understand you were okay for now.

She led you to a private room and paced in it awkwardly. She opened her mouth twice and closed it almost instantly like she wanted to say something but didn't know where to start.

"So, you ans Azriel ? Huh"

"You have actually no right to be mad at me." She cut you off.

"Excuse me ? But I have every right to be mad at you right now ! You have treated me poorly faking to be my friend and laughing at me when you should have been comforting me !" You snapped, angry.

"Well, it's not like someone could ever treat you well."

"What, what do you mean ?"

"Look at you yn, nobody would ever really be with you. You're not ugly but you're not beautifu, you're not dumb but you're not smart, you're just.. Well you. And that's clearly not enough." She looked at you disgustingly.

"But Lucien is treating me well.." You said tears welling in your eyes.

"Don't be blind, yn, he's a man, and like Azriel he will ran to me when he'll see that you're no longer interesting. You were nice and all, you listened to me but I guess I just got bored of you, anyone would." And with that she left the room, leaving 8 pairs of eyes on you as she opened the door. They instantly approached you, Feyre apologising a thousand time for the mean behaviour of her sister and Azriel staying in the back, his eyes full of worry and apology. He was trying to make you feel like everything she had said was false, that you were so much more than that, worthy of the stars,of two shining stars. Because yes they had heard everything. Lucien made his way to the crowd of his family surrounding you and hesitated before he hugged you out of nowhere. Azriel clenched his jaw and his hands turned into fists. When Lucien released you of his grasp, your expression hadn't changed, its like you were empty, just one single tears had escaped your eye. Cassian and Azriel flew you to the ground of Velaris and the last one had kept his hand on yours to make you look at him.

"I'm sorry, for what she said. It's not one bit true."

"Don't worry, she's surely right..." You had answered your gaze falling on his hand. You had never noticed the scars an them, they were so beautiful, so textured, so unique. You eyes widened at the sight and Azriel quickly hid them behind back before keeping going.

"No she wasn't, please don't doubt yourself because of what came out of her mouth because of jealousy. Because that's what she was and still is, jealous."

"Thank you Az really." You sadly smiled at him before joining Lucien who was waiting for you.

He didn't know why, but something clicked in him seeing you walk away under the arm of Lucien and hearing again his nickname from your mouth. He thought it rolled well on your tongue and really wanted to hear it again, as soon as possible. And it tensed him a lot to know that this man who touched you, was probably sleeping at yours tonight, maybe in your bed to comfort you after this emotionally hard day. It puzzled him a lot and didn't even know why, until his shadows came to his ears and murmured repeatedly "want to be him".

Tag list:

@kalulakunundrum

#acotar #azriel x you #azriel x reader #azriel x yn #elain archeron #lucien x reader #inner circle #morrigan #nesta archeron #feyre archeron #rhysand #cassian #amren #acotar x you #acotar x reader #acotar x y/n #writing #writers on tumblr

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gamarancianne · 3 months

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Hii I just read your rules and i think every thing is altight 🎀.I have benn carving some angst and had this idea for Helion x reader from acotar, where they have been with each other for a long time (before he became a High Lord), he says that he wants an open relationship, at first the reader agrees, after the years go by and Lady Autum heppens, she starts to be colder to Helion and becoms insecure about their relationship. Fast forward Helion throws a ball where someone start to flirt with him even though the reader is literally on his arm, he goes for some drinks or whatever which gives the reader the chance to escape, she does. After an hour or so Helion notices she is gone, and starts to look for her, he cant find her untill he asks a gaurd, who tells him she went to their bedroom, he finds her at first he is playfull but then relizes something is wrong. I would love if Helion said something like " you can't just leave me, I love you and we are together you cant do that, pleas" while crying hard. You can finish it however you like, presonaly a lot of angst and groveling at Helions side. If you dont fell like writing it there is no hard feelings❤️❤️❤️

Helion x reader - Always yours, never mine part 1

Hiiii, thank you for being this nice and don't worry i wrote it because I really loved the idea and there isn't enough Helion stuff here so let's change that ! 💗

Summary: in your open relationship, Helion always sneaked around with everyone, while you stayed there, waiting for him. But that was before, because solstice is the day where you are going to change that.

Warnings: angst, arrogant Helion (tbh he can 😩), heartbreak for 400 years, curse words, not proofread, my English.

Note: I didn't expect it to be this long so I'm definitely doing a part 2 ! I hope there was enough angst for you my dear and again thank you for your request and nice word !

"Everyone is looking for the sun"

"The moon only shines thank to the sun"

You had been his for 400 years. Being 550 year-old it was almost your whole life. But him, he had never been yours. In the beginning of your relationship, Helion and you had agreed that you both still could have dates or sleep with others. Well Helion had decided, and you desperately in love, had agreed. It was then an open relationship, Helion went out with other males and females, sometimes both, and you, well, you had been on dates to play by the same rules but hadn't really appreciated it. You didn't want them , you wanted and still want Helion, only him. Of course you had your moments, heated or not, together but it wasn't a proper relationship like you could dream of. It could have been okay if you weren't aware of every time he brought a lover to his Palace and didn't heard them both from dusk till dawn, but you were and you did. Oh yes you did. Like the one time of the high lord meeting when he had flirted with Mor, and had sleeped with her, asking you to go to another room. Sometimes some females even came to him while you were dancing or cuddling together and had the guts to seduce him in front of you. The pain you felt really started when he started sneaking around with the lady of autumn when he wasn't high lord yet. He then started to forget you, the one who had been truly there for him in every moment of his life, and you became insecure. It was mentally and emotionally exhausting. But you couldn't leave him (if you still were in a relationship), you loved him too much it hurt you and it would kill you to do so.

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

Today was the first day of the summer solstice festivities. It was a day full of colors, sun, dances, music, food; your favourite day of the year. But not today, you didn't feel well. Yesterday Helion had brought 2 females in his bed, and your room being next to his, you had heard them. You hadn't sleep, overthinking the fact that you and Helion hadn't slept or been on a date together since weeks, even months. Maybe you didn't have to go today, you could stay in your room, looking from your window to the happy people partying and laughing. That's what you would do today, drown yourself in your eating thoughts and cry yourself to sleep. What a program. In front of your mirror, you changed your sun dress for a nightgown and went back to you giant bed. As if hearing your thoughts, someone knocked at the door. Groaning you opened it and what surprise for you to see the said Helion, a flirty smirk on his lips, leaning against the door frame. Gods was he beautiful. You almost hated him fro that, it made every discussion with him very difficult for you. His smile dropped as soon as he saw you in an other outfit than your party dress.

"What's going on love? At this hour you are normally already dressed up, dancing with everyone ?" He asked.

"Well I suppose it is not a normal day then" you answered turning your back to him when he tried to reach for you. You instantly regretted you gesture.

"Are you sure everything's okay love ?"

You turned back and gave him a small smile to reassure him, you always adored when he called you love, you could never resist him. "Yes don't worry, I am just feeling unwell, I think I'll stay here today and rest a little."

He froze, never had you ever missed a solstice day.

"No, no, no. Go dress up dear, I'm sure a dance with me will give you your energy and joy back." His teeth showed up again when he flashed you a smile.

"What? No-"

"And I won't take no as an answer" he shouted when he closed the door to leave you alone in the silence of your room once again. Dressing up again, you cursed him for being this convincing and yourself for being this weak. And why would he show up exactly the moment you gathered a little courage to face him about your feelings ! But maybe this time he would change, and everything would be different. You had so much hope about him. Leaving your room, you frowned and searched him in the crowd. You relaxed when you smelt his now well-known scent invading your nose and felt his arms circling your waist.

"What's going on in that pretty head of yours"

"Nothing really" I answered getting out of his grasp leaving him frowning a little.

He regained his composure quickly "Then let's dance dear."

You both walked to the dancefloor and pushed someone or two on the way. As the music began, Helion led the dance, and you followed, twirling at the beautiful notes. To anyone who looked at you, it seemed that you were two beautiful gods or angels, coming from the sky and flying in the sun. Two gods meant for eachother. But Helion didn't think that, nor did you, spiralling in your insecure thoughts and doubts about yourself. But you still danced for hours, leaving the crowd only to drink or eat.

Exceptionally, you both went out in the gardens, arm in arms and hand in hand to talk intimately a little. But unfortunately, your finally rediscovered happiness was short timed when a young fae lady approached you two. Well she approached him of course. She was everything you weren't, gorgeous, a bright smile, tall, thin. Indeed, how could Helion could really love you after people like her ? Then again he abandoned you again to yourself. And almost broke down in front of everybody when you saw them dance together, and cursed yourself once again the same day for being so stupid to think that one ridiculously charming cheeky smile from him would change anything. You ran away to your bedroom, tears streaming down your face as the pain was stinging your entire body. When you loved, you loved hard, with your soul, your body, you whole. But when you felt hurt then everything in you was heart, and there wasn't a single part you that was okay.

You cried and cried on your bed without even taking the time to step out the beautiful gown you wore today. A gown he had gifted you. Damn him ! Everything you did, everything you thought about reminded you of him! He was like oxygen and water for you, a living need, everything in you was attracted by him every single second of your whole life. It was at the same time making you breathe fresh air, and killing you.

Helion, him, noticed you missing only a few dances later with that young lady when he had the project to bring her back into his bed for a sleepless night. He had the intention to inform you not to wait for him but he couldn't find you. In the heat of his moment with his futur lover, he got upset at the fact that you somehow ruined it, and grew more and more frustrated. He excused himself to the lady and went quickly and furiously to your room after asking a guard about it. There wasn't an ounce of worry in his mind.

But when he found your door open, and heard your not so silent sobs, he calmed down a little and came to your bed. Feeling his weight on the other side of the bed, you stood up quickly and wiped, in vain the tears on your cheeks.

"You crying just ruined my tonight date you know ?" Helion chuckled thinking it would make you feel better.

But in the contrary, you snapped at him and lashed out all your feelings and emotions piled up and invalidated since 400 years. Enough was enough.

"How dare you say that to the only woman who have been supporting you for every damn moment of your life? How dare you hurt my feelings and my confidence again and again and again ? During those 400, I've given you all that I had even more, I've given you all from myself : my soul, my heart, my mind and my body. But what have you given me back ? Nothing, except a broken heart and insecurity that's eating me up every fucking day of my life ! A life now resumed to hope that someday you will understand what I'm going through, you will change for the better ! But no ! It's always the same thing ! I hope and hope for you but you still disappoint me at the end of the day going back to your bitches while I stay here, abandoned again by the love of my life, the only one in my mind, you. I'm tired and exhausted to feel empty every time I see you with another while you forget about me. Some even seduce you while I'm here with you !"

Helion froze at your words, never as he ever considered or thought that you could be unwell in this relationship. "But what didn't you say anything? Plus you had also the right to go with other males or females, let me recall we both agreed to those terms in the beginning of our relation-"

"No we didn't! You said it, and I was hopelessly in love with you so it was the better I could get from you ! And I tried and tried and tried to go on other dates but they were never you ! As telling you this, I can't because everytime I see you apart from heated moment, when I try to speak to you about it, another one of your numerous lover interrupt us and you don't care about it one bit! It's like I'm only there to sleep with you and nothing more where as you go on dates and give your lovers prince princess treatment ! So tell me ! What did I do to deserve that ? What did I do ? Because I am completely and utterly yours, but Helion you have to face it, you were never mine." Rage and frustration tears were flooding your face from your angry eyes, and you were out of breath.

"Are you breaking up with me ?" He asked softly.

"Oh gods I can't believe it ! It's the only thing you have to say right now ? After all I've told you ? Then yes, yes I'm breaking up with you ! I'm done with this, with you !"

"But you can't do this love ! Please you can't leave me we are together! I love you please! Don't do that !" He pleaded and kneeled in front of you, gripping your thighs.

"As much as I love you, and as it's hurting to do so, I can't do this anymore, I don't know who I am anymore. Every time I woke up, my goal was to make you change or to spend a little time with you ! I've been erasing myself to the thought of you and I need to get out of here in order to find myself again. I'm sorry."

"But where will you go ? You live here ? It's your home! I am your home !" He cried.

"Not anymore I'm sorry. And Mor will welcome me for a time, I already sent a note to Rhys, he'll come when my stuff will be packed." As my voice broke down on the final words that seemed too real for me, I wanted it to be a nightmare, and to wake up tangled in the sheets and his arms, I got out of his firm grasp difficultly and gathered my things.

Rhys appeared instantly, and I took one last look at Helion's bent form and wet eyes before we disappeared as quickly as he came, in smoke of black shadow.

#helion x reader #helion acotar #acotar x reader #acotar #acotar x you #helion x you #rhysand #day court #writers on tumblr #angst

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gamarancianne · 3 months

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Hi, I requested the az x reader story! I have to say that I was a bit insecure about ordering from someone who hadn't published a story yet, and I hadn't even ordered one, so it was all very last minute to send it. I thought "my god, I need to see how she works on her stories!" and girl, you exceeded my expectations! I loved it! I need to know how it's going to continue and how it's going to end. I was so happy and surprised when I saw that you wrote the request the day after I asked for it, because I thought it would take longer.

Oh, I almost forgot, I'm happy to know that my request meant something to you since it was your first.

I can't wait to see Lucien and the reader's friendship. By the way, I'm fine and I'll be popping in here more often anonymously (maybe not as much since I'm busy with college stuff), but I think I'll use an emoji as identification? - 🌨

Omg you'll make me cry ! That's so sweet of you thank you ! I'm not gonna lie I was nervous as fuck too, being French and writing in English and having never posted yet😭. And I was so shocked that lots of people loved it and that you loved it as well ! So really thank you so much again for that nice message and for having at the end sent the request in the first place and of course I can't wait to see you again(I give you all my courage for college I know its hard 🙏) !! Don't worry part 2 is on its way since I'm still on holidays (not for long) and our dear Lulu is gonna be the best friend ever. I was so excited about this ask and inspired like I got the whole scenario in my head it was insane!! You'll be my first ask and my first anon 💗🌨

#anon🌨#🌨️#talkswithgarance #acotar #azriel x reader

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gamarancianne · 3 months

Text

Acotar masterlist :

Azriel

In Between part 1, part 2, part 3

Helion

Always yours never mine part 1

Coming soon... just ask me :)

#acotar x reader #acotar x you #acotar #azriel x reader #rhysand x reader #cassian x reader #lucien x reader #eris x reader #helion x reader #elain x reader #feyre x reader #nesta x reader #mor x reader #emerie x reader

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gamarancianne · 3 months

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Hi, how are you? I had an idea and I wanted to ask you if you could do an angst with Azriel x reader in which she is friends with Elain and has been in love with Az for some time, but has never told him because they hardly have any contact apart from the Valkyries and Elain's training. Then they get a little closer and she decides to tell Elain all about her feelings for Azriel and pushes the reader to confess her feelings and that's exactly what she does, but Azriel's reaction isn't the most pleasant and he lets out a "How can you fall in love with someone you hardly know? Only fools are like that. So she is devastated and disappears for a few days, until she returns and catches Azriel and Elain in a very intimate moment in the bedroom and realizes that they were already together even before she confessed her feelings to him and they end up drifting apart. So the reader begins to do everything she can to forget Az and concentrate on herself and, in the meantime, becomes friends with Lucien, to the point of braiding each other's hair. After a while, they break up and Az starts to notice the reader, but she's looser than ever and doesn't care much about him. And he chases after her a lot and in the meantime an obscenity occurs to her so that she ends up saying it was just a one-night stand. And the ending is up to you :)

Azriel x reader - In Between part 1

Part 2

Okay first of all thank you so much for this ask it is my first so its precious to me !! And I am really fine and you ?? I love the plotline and I am sucker for angst, especially with our little azzy so it's perfect !!

Warnings : angst, smut allusions, heartbreak, mean Az, mean Elain

Summary : You are in love with Azriel, but you don't know him, that's what he said when you confessed. Heartbroken yes, but you surely didn't think that he would end up being with your dear friend Elain.

Note : well this has gotten longer than I thought so it will part 2 and I am already working on it don't worry. Also I didn't know if Elain knew that it was Az or not so I improvised. I hope it fits your standards and you can all tell me what you think about it in the comments. And I am again sorry for my English 😭💗

There he was, in all his glory, sweaty from his fight with Cassian, his shadows swirling around him and you had never been more attracted to someone.

Elain had finally convinced you to join her at training and you instantly regretted, looking at how hard the Valkyries were training but mostly feeling your cheeks heaten up at the sight of him. Of his naked torso full of black ink and fight scars. 'Gods, cauldron boil me why did I accept this' you thought. But Elain was quick enough to shove the thought away when she brought you to introduce you to her family. You had already seen them many times when you had picked her up after training for a walk or a tea party, thing that you both enjoyed a lot, but it was never a proper meeting like this one.

"Hey guys !" She exclaimed, full of joy "This is yn, a friend of mine and she's coming to training for the first time so I hope you are all gonna be nice to her. Especially you Az, don't scare her away" she chuckled looking a the main concerned. After quick presentations, she made sure you were okay and went with her sister, Cassian and the Valkyries for their already known exercises while you stayed there, blush creeping up to your face and ears, with Azriel. Because, with your luck, he was the one to train you today to show you the basic exercises in order to not hurt you during the first day.

"Follow me" Azriel ordered and you obeyed, walking to a smaller ring. He showed you some stretches before starting to teach you many combat basics. It was awkward, for both of you. Every time Azriel came behind you to correct your position, you would blush extremely hard and shiver at his touch. And you could tell he noticed it by the way he straightened and did everything to avoid this kind of situation. To ease the tension between us, you engaged the conversation. "they're really beautiful" you said pointing with your head the blue gems on his arms and torso now dressed with his leathers.

"Oh thanks..." he only responded. Elain did already tell you that he was a silent one but you didn't expect him to be that silent to be honest. But you were stubborn so you continued. "And.. where did you buy them ? I think it could be a nice present for my brother for next solstice". And then he froze, stared at you dead in the eye and laughed at your face. Despite the facts that you didn't understand and that you were even more embarrassed you couldn't stop yourself from enjoying the most beautiful sound you had ever heard. His beautiful laugh was clear and ran to the deepest parts of your soul.

"Wh-what is so funny about what I said?"

"They're siphons, I earned them by being a Carynthian, because I am an Illyrian soldier, you cannot buy them !" He bursted out of laughter a second time.

"Oh mother above, I am so sorry if I offended you by saying that, I don't know anything about Illyrians I am sorry. Really" you stuttered, feeling even more ridiculous than before.

He reassured you about it. You had made a fool of yourself but the air was lighter and the training went on with a more smiling and nice Azriel, with whom you had joked, laughed and exchanged soft innocent touches, until it was over. The bubble in which you and Az had been, exploded when Elain came checking on you two.

"How did it go ?" She asked excited.

"Really well" you answered quite proud of you.

Azriel nodded, and you felt his eyes linger on you when you left with your friend.

You came back the day after, and the day after and after... until it became a routine to train and laugh with Az very morning. Now you were also training with Elain and Nesta because of your quick improvements. But one thing was certain, you had fallen completely and utterly in love with Azriel. You didn't know what to do because he was always staring at you from afar when you were coming or leaving but you two never really talked about your life or anything.

While stretching with Elain, she asked about your love life and you decided that you would ask her opinion.

"Speaking of that, I need you to be brutally honest with me El' "

"What are you seeing someone ? Why didn't you tell me ?" She exclaimed.

"No I am not, don't worry I would've told you" she relaxed. "But you know there is this guy that I see almost everyday and I think we get along well. I feel like he is looking at me sometimes but we never really talk to eachother, like about our lives or anything. It's odd, but I really like him and I don't know what to do."

She smiled at your scrunched eyebrows and responded more calmly: "Follow you heart dear, you are so much beautiful and kind, there is no sane male in all Prythian who could resist you. Besides who is this man ? Isn't it the brown hair guy at the coffee shop you work at ? Because if it is he totally has a crush on you!"

"Haha no I won't tell you but thanks for the advice though, you are clearly the best! I love you Elain!"

"Me too yn, a lot. But now go get your lover before I kick you out myself for you to do it! Fly you fool!" She pushed you out the ring while you were laughing with her and you ran as fast as you could to get to the source of your desire, Azriel. He was almost shooting in the sky when you screamed his name. He turned around to see your exhausted figure running toward him.

"Hey are you okay ? What's going on ?"

"I'm fine thank you Az but I got something to tell you if you don't mind"

"Of course not go on", he responded almost too quickly and straightened hearing his nickname coming from your mouth. You always called him Azriel but never Az or Azzy. Never.

"Well, I meant to tell you for a while but I hadn't enough courage so here am I... I love you" you spoke in one breath your head down and your eyes shut.

You waited for an answer and waited again until you were almost shaking with fear and looked back at Azriel's face. What you saw made your eyes well up with tears. He was shocked, in a bad way, even disgusted at your confession.

"You don't want that yn" he finally answered.

"What ?" You asked your voice breaking.

"How can you fall in love with someone you hardly knows ? Only fools are like that". And with that he flew away, leaving you a crying mess on the floor of training.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Your body and heart were sore. You had been crying for hours. After training, well, more after your mean rejection by the love of your life, you had run away to your apartment and cried without stopping, you sometimes just changed the place: your bed, the couch, even the floor. You felt broken, of course, but above all ashamed at your actions. Your bad thoughts were flooding in your head without stopping. Your anxiety, insecurity and doubts about yourself surfaced once again: he was right, how could you have fallen in love with him without even knowing him ? And then you cried again, this time at your window looking at the stars above you. Two of them were shining more than the others and you just hoped that one day the mother would give you a male, capable of loving you back so that you could both be like those stars, shining together amongst others.

It had been a few days now, and the same routine happened again everyday. You would wake up, your eyes sore from crying not remembering anything, and you would recall your conversation with Azriel and start crying again all day, only eating ice cream or cookies. Elain had sent you many notes, asking what was happening to you and why you weren't at training. You still hadn't answered yet but, today, you decided that it was time for you to get up your feet and not cry about that lame excuse of a male anymore. You dressed up and went to Elain's apartment near the Sidra.

When you arrived, the door was already open, but when you called her, she didn't answer. The worst scenarios already came to your mind and you entered in her home, scared for her. You stopped in your tracks when you heard noises coming from her bedroom. It was voices, her and Azriel's voices. You didn't want to do anything involving Azriel so you walked back to the door but froze when you heard your name. You didn't want to be nosy, but you heard your name, so it was fair to listen right? You approached slowly and silently her bedroom in which you two had have countless sleepless girls nights, and listened to their conversation.

"What ? You are the one she confessed to ?" Elain then bursted out of laughter and you felt another knife stabbing your heart. Your dear friend, who encouraged you to confess the deepest parts of your heart was mocking you in front of your said love interest. But you weren't supposed to be there, so it was your fault. You deserved it for making a fool of yourself. That's what your thoughts were screaming at you in your head.

"Yeah, but stop it now, I don't wanna talk about another woman right now" Azriel said, his voice low.

You had enough now but still decided to take a look inside yhe room and instantly regretted when you saw them together, naked from their previous activities, tangled in the sheets, now making out with eachother. Your heart already broken in a million pieces, broke again when he said those words you will remember for life "Anyway you know I only love you Elain".

You ran as fast as you could, bumping in the table, and making a big noise in the living room but you couldn't care one bit. You just had to leave the damn place. Tears were streaming down your face knowing your face, and you didn't even noticed it, only focused on the worst pain you had ever felt. The pain of your heart: of a love and a friendship broken. It was too much, too much in just a short amount of time.

And then everything hit you : Azriel had never looked nor stared at you, he was looking at Elain all this time when you were both arriving at training. He was never interested in you, it was always Elain. How could you have been so stupid and think different : the first time you two had ever talked, you had made a fool of yourself and he was only nice to you because you were Elain's friend. For the past month, in need of affection, you had lived in complete delusion of a love that never existed.

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