gem-femmes

[gem-femmes]

I took a break from Tumblr for a month because I felt like I was on the verge of truly embodying That Girl: self-discipline, consistency and all the habits I’d spent so long striving for. I needed one final push, free from distractions. I’ve written extensively to inspire both myself and others and I’m thrilled to say: it worked.

In the past month, I’ve built a regimen of daily exercise, which has not only improved my physical health but also alleviated some long-standing issues that used to weigh on me. I finally got my binge eating under control, something I hadn’t managed in years. I now eat healthy meals and for the first time, I can enjoy my favorite treats in moderation without feeling like I’m fighting against myself.

At work, I completely revamped my system (AuDHD checking in), making everything more efficient and organized. Procrastination, something I used to carry guilt over, no longer holds me back. I also started socializing again, meeting new people and picking up new skills after a long hiatus. But perhaps most importantly, I made a decision about whether I want to move abroad again, an uncertainty that had weighed on me for the longest time. In short, I now have clarity in almost every major area of my life.

So where does that leave me with Tumblr?

I’ve loved being part of this community. Writing about self-improvement, strategy and social dynamics has been deeply rewarding. At first, my main motivation was to push myself toward the life I wanted. Now that I’ve arrived, that purpose feels complete. My time is increasingly taken up by the family business, my newly ingrained habits and just living — and I’m okay with that.

I still love reading Tumblr posts. There are absolute gems here, but there’s also a flood of regurgitated advice from people who aren’t actually living what they preach. I asked myself: should I continue creating content to raise the standard and help others, or is it time to step back?

I’ve decided to leave this blog up as a resource and return occasionally for inspiration, but I won’t be posting new content. Thank you to everyone who’s been part of this journey. I appreciate you more than you know.

Stay disciplined, stay strategic and most of all, stay true to the life you actually want.

[gem-femmes]

okay but elle woods though

had a 4.0 as an undergrad

got a 179 on her LSATs when a 180 is a perfect score

got into HARVARD LAW SCHOOL which is one of the most prestigious law schools in the country

after she’s humiliated by several professors and peers alike instead of quitting elle makes up her mind that she is going to kick law school’s ass

refused to reveal a secret told to her in confidence even though it would have advanced her career 

is an amazing friend who not only helps her friend get her dog back from her deadbeat ex, but she also helps her friend meet a new man 

instead of competing with her ex’s new girl friend the two of them eventually become best friends and ditch the jerk together

even after following her ex to harvard in an attempt to win him back, elle realizes that he’s a jerk and she’s so much better than him

turns down said jerk when he comes crawling back

wins her first trial using not only ingenious deductive reasoning and her knowledge of fashion and proves that she is not a helpless “dumb blonde”

elle woods though

[gem-femmes]

Why would a guy be continually blocking and unblocking me, liking my stories daily if not weekly then when I message him asking for clarity or understanding he is very dismissive and tells me to leave him alone?? Like and then he’ll sometimes reach out to me about my story and if I don’t respond he’ll be like “dam ok” so I just don’t get it…if he truly wants that and says he’s done why is he doing all this?

Block and delete ❤️

[gem-femmes]

Everyone finds that one random unposed snapshot of their mother from 30 years ago where she is literally the most beautiful woman you've ever seen in your life

[gem-femmes]

Babe, You Can Change Your Life Right Now

You ever wake up one day and realize: Wait. I don’t have to keep being that person? 🤯

Yeah, me too. It hit me like a brick that just because I’ve done something one way doesn’t mean I’m stuck with it forever.

Just because I used to scroll Reddit like it was my job doesn’t mean I have to keep wasting my life there. 🙅‍♀️

Just because I had an ED doesn’t mean I’m obligated to stay in that mindset. Healing is an option 💖

Just because my workouts were spotty AF doesn’t mean I can’t show up consistently now. 🏋️‍♀️

Just because I was glued to my phone like a barnacle doesn’t mean I can’t set it down and live my damn life. 💅

Just because I had a “forget to shower” era doesn’t mean I can’t prioritize being a hygiene queen now. 🛁

Just because sugar was my bestie doesn’t mean I can’t set some boundaries. 🍬

Just because I used to be “all or nothing” about exercise doesn’t mean I can’t work out no matter what I ate. 🏃‍♀️

Just because I’ve never built my dream body doesn’t mean I’m doomed to fail forever. Watch me. 👙🌟👀

Just because I never picked up a paintbrush or practiced cute lettering doesn’t mean I can’t start now. 🎨✍️

Just because I used to obsess over my weight doesn’t mean I can’t focus on how I feel instead. ❤️💃

Listen, your past doesn’t have a chokehold on you unless you let it. You can decide -- like, right this second -- to be someone completely different. Just flick that switch and go.

You’re the main character; act like it. 🌟🎬

[gem-femmes]

[gem-femmes]

Protect your mental health by taking mixed signals as a no.

[gem-femmes]

Ladies we’re eating protein and lifting weights in 2025!!!

[gem-femmes]

MAKING LIFE BEAUTIFUL ༊*·˚

beauty is a high value of mine, it makes life worth living, and with that i don't mean conforming to commercial beauty standards, but cultivating a beautiful environment, inner thoughts/mindset, and lifestyle. here are some things i want to do to make my life more beautiful:

avoiding stress by doing tasks and assignments early

feeling refreshed by not staying up late

experiencing the sunrise and sunset by waking up early and being more mindful of my environment/nature

having a clean and tidy room

having an organized digital space

having an athletic and flexible body by regularly exercising and stretching

having an uncluttered mind by journaling my thoughts everyday

having a positive mindset (no self-loathing, ugly thoughts!)

making life meaningful by not only consuming, but also creating beautiful things through creative means

pursuing my hobbies (writing, drawing, singing, dancing, crafting)

eating less processed food & more beautifully prepared healthy food

being hygienic by smelling good, caring for my nails & hair, and wearing stainless clean clothing

avoiding stress by not being forced to hurry

concentrating being in the present moment

minimizing social media usage

creating a nice atmosphere with matching music

basically romanticizing my life

i hope these tips help you cultivate a more beautiful life too! i might make more blog posts if i feel inspired, because they are pretty too ;)

︶︶୨୧︶⊹︶⊹︶୨୧︶⊹︶⊹︶୨୧︶⊹︶⊹︶୨୧︶︶

[gem-femmes]

On Finding (and Firing) Mentors 🌱🧠

Mentors aren’t forever. They’re not supposed to be. The goal isn’t to stay in their shadow indefinitely. It’s to learn, grow and eventually outgrow. If you’re still hanging on after the lesson is over, it’s no longer mentorship. It’s comfort, and comfort is not where growth lives.

The best mentors teach you how to think, not what to think. They give you tools, not blueprints. They’ll guide you, sure, but they’re not here to build the house for you. Once you know how to use the tools, their job is done. Don’t confuse gratitude with obligation.

Outgrowing a mentor isn’t betrayal. It’s respect. It means you’ve absorbed what they offered and are now strong enough to stand on your own. That’s the whole point. They can’t take you where they’ve never been and if you’re ready to go further, it’s time to move on.

Clinging to a mentor past their expiration date doesn’t honor them. It diminishes what they’ve taught you. You’re not meant to orbit around them forever, recycling their wisdom and waiting for new answers. Take what they’ve given you and build something of your own. That’s how you truly honor the relationship.

Don’t mistake longevity for loyalty. A good mentorship has a natural arc: beginning, middle and end. The problem is, most people refuse to recognize the end. They drag it out, hoping for more answers, when the only answer left is this: it’s your turn now.

Firing a mentor is an act of trust — trust in yourself, in your ability to carry what they’ve taught you, and in the fact that the next phase of growth won’t come from them. You don’t owe them endless allegiance. What you owe them is to take what you’ve learned and run with it.

The mentor-student dynamic isn’t a hierarchy; it’s a handoff. They give you the baton and you run. That’s the race. That’s the point. So don’t linger at the starting line once they’ve passed it to you. The relationship doesn’t have to end on bad terms. It just has to end.

And one last thing: just as you’re firing a mentor, someone else may soon see you as theirs. The cycle continues. Pass it on.

[gem-femmes]

[gem-femmes]

OP: when your fashion doesn't match your life (cr 千千Sherry)

[gem-femmes]

Some Thoughts For Your Own Main Character Era

You’re allowed to be both a masterpiece and a work in progress. Stop acting like you need to be finished before you’re worthy. Nobody has it all figured out, and anyone who says they do is lying or boring. Growth isn’t linear and nobody is grading your timeline. You can be proud of yourself even while you’re still learning.

Nobody else has your view. Nobody else walks around in your head or heart, seeing what you see and feeling what you feel. So why do they get to dictate your decisions? You are the only person who has to live your life 24/7. Make it make sense to you.

If it doesn’t add, it subtracts. If it doesn’t feel light, it’s a weight. If it doesn’t bring you clarity, it’s chaos. And if it’s chaos, it’s not worth your time. Life is complicated enough without carrying around extra baggage that isn’t even yours. Drop the storyline that says you have to hold on just because you started.

Resting isn’t quitting. Pausing isn’t failing. Taking time to breathe, recalibrate, and ask yourself what you actually want isn’t laziness, it’s wisdom. Nobody said you have to be sprinting all the time. Rest is part of the process, and it’s allowed to be guilt-free.

Your self-worth isn’t up for negotiation. It’s not a group project. It’s not a mirror reflecting other people’s opinions. If someone doesn’t see your value, that’s on them. Stop looking to other people for something you already have — validation isn’t what makes you real. You’re already here. You already exist. That’s enough proof.

Be less available. Seriously. People don’t value what’s always around, and you don’t need to spread yourself thin trying to prove you’re good enough. Say no more often. Pull back your energy. Let people miss you. Let them meet you halfway — or not at all. You’re not a convenience store.

Time is not infinite. Energy is not infinite. You can’t get either one back once it’s spent. So, act accordingly. Not every battle is worth fighting, not every person is worth convincing, and not every opportunity is meant to be yours. It’s okay to let things pass you by if they don’t feel right.

And most importantly — if it’s not making you excited to wake up, what are you even doing? Life is long, sure, but it’s also happening right now. Make it yours.

[gem-femmes]

Haeji Min (Korean, 1995) - We Contain Multitudes (2022)

[gem-femmes]

well-fed, well-read, + well-rested

[gem-femmes]

Sarah Lee (Korean, 1988) - Gazer (2024)

[gem-femmes]

The Faux Pas Recovery Guide: How to Bounce Back from Awkward Moments💀

You spilled coffee on the CEO. You laughed too hard at a not-funny joke. You called someone’s spouse by their ex’s name (yikes).

Congratulations, you’re human! Social slip-ups happen to the best of us. The difference between cringe and charm is how you handle it. Here’s how to turn your next oops into a win.

💀1. Own It, Don’t Overdo It

When you mess up, acknowledge it quickly and confidently.

Example: “Oops, that was clumsy of me. Let me grab a napkin!” and not, “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry, I’m such a disaster, please forgive me forever!” (Calm down, no one died.)

Keep it light. A quick acknowledgment followed by a smile says, I’ve got this.

The trick is to own it like you spilled water, not international secrets.

💀2. Use Humor to Diffuse the Situation

Nothing takes the sting out of a faux pas like a well-timed joke.

Knocked over a drink? “Guess I wanted to make the floor sparkle too.”

Forgot someone’s name? “You’re unforgettable - my brain just didn’t get the memo!”

Humor shifts the vibe from awkward to endearing. Bonus: it shows you can laugh at yourself.

💀3. Apologize, but Keep It Simple

A good apology is like a good tweet: short, sweet and to the point.

Do: “Sorry about that! Won’t happen again.”

Don’t: Spiral into a 10-minute apology tour complete with tearful confessions.

Over-apologizing makes everyone else uncomfortable, and we’re trying to recover here, not dig a deeper hole.

💀4. Redirect the Spotlight

Quickly move the attention away from your faux pas.

Shift focus: “Anyway, where were we? You were telling me about your amazing project!”

If you can, compliment someone else in the room. “Love your take on that idea, by the way. Super sharp!”

The faster you pivot, the faster everyone forgets your little mishap.

💀5. Lean Into Self-Awareness

Sometimes, the best recovery is to simply call it like it is.

Example: “Wow, that wasn’t my finest moment. Anyway, moving on!”

Being honest about the awkwardness makes it less awkward. Weird, but true.

Think of it as a charm offensive: people love someone who can laugh at themselves and keep rolling.

💀6. The Double Down (Use Sparingly!)

For very specific situations, doubling down can work - if you commit.

Example: Tripped while entering a room? Do a dramatic bow and say, “And the award for Best Entrance goes to… me!”

Warning: This only works if you’ve got the confidence to pull it off. If in doubt, skip this one and go back to Step 1.

💀7. Learn from It, Then Let It Go

Every awkward moment is a free (if slightly embarrassing) life lesson.

Spilled coffee on someone? Lesson: keep drinks away from wild hand gestures.

Forgot a name? Lesson: write it down next time.

Once you’ve learned what you need to, let it go. Dwelling on it only keeps the cringe alive in your own head. Everyone else has probably already moved on.

💀Awkward Is a State of Mind

The real secret? Most people aren’t judging you nearly as much as you think they are.

A confident recovery can turn an awkward moment into a memorable one and even make you more likable in the process. So next time you fumble, shrug it off and own the room anyway.