gettinontopic
gettinontopic
Sideblog for Serious Posting
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G- 23- Discussion not Discourse
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gettinontopic · 11 hours ago
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Will never forgive TRFs for making me have to reveal my AGAB to “prove” I’m not a “sensitive TME just shitting oh trans women” when I’m a heavily dysphoric agender person who hates any association with my AGAB so they fucking listen to me when I say they’re treating transmascs and intersex people like shit. Like why are they fucking doing this. Go fuck yourselves, genuinely, eat sand assholes. Fuck you for making me disclose incredibly sensitive and painful information so you don’t accuse me of being the wrong kind of trans and thus not allowed to stand up for transmascs and intersex people. Fuck you. Grow and change for the better.
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gettinontopic · 11 hours ago
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No fucking way. This post is by a cisgender woman by the way. But are we seriously trying to claim using the term 'exorsexist' is bad. What the fuck girlypop.
I need every pericis person to shut the fuck up forever actually jfc.
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gettinontopic · 12 hours ago
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"trans men x, trans women y" tar pit tar pit tar pit exorsexist binarist intersexist transphobic tar pit. we are not opposites we are not opposites stop painting your family as the enemy oh my gd
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gettinontopic · 17 hours ago
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It was never about "fairness." They're punishing trans teenagers for existing. Most chess tournaments aren't even gendered.
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gettinontopic · 1 day ago
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hiii. i need to refill my meds. and rather quickly or, besides the Not Being Medicated part, i'm gonna start getting withdrawal symptoms that will really incapacitate me. the appointment to renew the script costs money as well unfortunately. i haven't been able to finish working on stuff quickly enough as ive had a very hectic week. im sorry to ask, but i'd really appreciate some help here.
paypal.me/jupitervivi
i need $180 (usd)
thank you 🥺
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gettinontopic · 1 day ago
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i simply don't think nonbinary people should have to see having our gender/s respected and acknowledged as a luxury. i think it's frankly sickening that that's the state of things tbh.
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gettinontopic · 1 day ago
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Misgendered by a woman with a protect the dolls tshirt
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gettinontopic · 1 day ago
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Runs up to you quickly with a comedically large megaphone that's set to the highest volume
THERE IS A REPETITIVE ISSUE WITH AMAB NON-BINARY AND AMAB GENDER-NON-CONFORMING INDIVIDUALS BEING PUSHED OUT OF QUEER SPACES SIMPLY BECAUSE THEY DON'T PRESENT AS ANDROGYNOUS OR HYPERFEM, AND THE PEOPLE WHO CHOOSE TO EXCLUDE THEM ARE DOING IT ON THE BASIS OF INTERNALIZED TRANSANDROPHOBIA BECAUSE THEY STILL VIEW THE INDIVIDUAL AS A MAN, SIMPLY BECAUSE THE INDIVIDUAL IS UNABLE TO PASS AS ANDROGYNOUS/FEM OR CHOOSES NOT TO, WHILE THE PEOPLE WHO EXCLUDE THEM ARE SIMULTANEOUSLY ACCEPTING AFAB NON-BINARY & GNC INDIVIDUALS WHO AREN'T ANDROGYNOUS OR HYPERMASC WHICH IS A DISPLAY OF BLATANT SEXISM AGAINST THOSE WHO DID NOT CHOOSE TO BE BORN MALE AND ARE ACTIVELY TRYING TO ESCAPE THAT LABEL.
Runs away cutely
#no one owes ANYONE androgyny
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gettinontopic · 2 days ago
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One highlight from scrolling through a TRF’s blog: “butch/femme is a dichotomy created by transmisogynistic TME lesbians to reinvent the male/female gender binary. And you need to completely reject it because it’s dangerously transmisogynistic” HELLO????? I’M BUTCH????????? IM TRANSFEM???? WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS PERSON TALKING ABOUT??????
It feels like TRFs reach a point eventually where they consider themselves completely and utterly incapable of relating to and being related to by “TMEs”, where they start spouting seperationist rhetoric out of the sheer paranoia they gain from wedging themselves in a corner where everyone who isn’t a transfem TRF is a threat to them and a transmisogynist. It’s actually really wild seeing that level of terminally online discourse brainrot in real time turn someone into that… it makes me wonder how the hell someone gets to the point they start seeing lesbian culture as a threat… I’m obviously not going to look around their blog any more than I already did because that shit is just straight up brain poison but, it’s rly grimly fascinating. How do you seriously become that fucking terrified of your fellow LGBT people to the point you self segregate into purely transfem spaces and start hating all non transfems (as well as any transfems you disagree with) like??? It’s just rly crazy to me that people will reach that point.
Really glad I fell out of the TRF pipeline a while back because holy shit. Knowing I was in danger of becoming that kind of person is really scary. If it weren’t for friends challenging my misandry and the kind people of the transandrophobia tag educating me on transmasc struggles I could have very well ended up like that person…
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gettinontopic · 2 days ago
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Care about Black Trans Children Before It's Too Late. Please, they need us.
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gettinontopic · 2 days ago
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this is not new btw
trans men/mascs are frequently called bitches/cunts/hysterical
either jokingly or seriously
and it is transphobic and sexist every time you use it against us
regardless of if you "just use it as a synonym for complaining" or are intentionally using it in misogynistic way to shut down anyone you perceive as a woman thats talking about their issues
this is why we need to be louder about the transphobia against us
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gettinontopic · 2 days ago
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Alright since ridiculous people keep commenting ridiculous things on my posts about trans male privilege I'm going to go through this checklist and see how these things apply to trans men. I will be going through these with the lens of "transgender men" and not "stealth and passing transgender man that nobody knows is trans".
My odds of being hired for a job, when competing against female applicants, are probably skewed in my favor. The more prestigious the job, the larger the odds are skewed. - Absolutely not.
I can be confident that my co-workers won’t think I got my job because of my sex - even though that might be true. - Nope
If I am never promoted, it’s not because of my sex. - It's because they're trans.
If I fail in my job or career, I can feel sure this won’t be seen as a mark against my entire sex’s capabilities. - Nope
I am far less likely to face sexual harassment at work than are my female co-workers. - ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOT
If I do the same task as a woman, and if the measurement is at all subjective, chances are people will think I did a better job. - Nope
If I’m a teen or adult, and if I can stay out of prison, my odds of being raped are so low as to be negligible. - No. Fucking. Way.
I am not taught to fear walking alone after dark in average public spaces. - Noooope
If I choose not to have children, my masculinity will not be called into question. - NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE
If I have children but do not provide primary care for them, my masculinity will not be called into question. - All of these children ones are actually so insidious wrt trans men because no fucking way. This will be used as "proof" we aren't real men. Our masculinity will absolutely be called into question.
If I have children and provide primary care for them, I’ll be praised for extraordinary parenting if I’m even marginally competent. - Actually we'll get our kids taken away from us for merely being trans.
If I have children and pursue a career, no one will think I’m selfish for not staying at home. - No. Big surprise trans men deal with the same misogyny cis women do wrt these things
If I seek political office, my relationship with my children, or who I hire to take care of them, will probably not be scrutinized by the press. - Nope
Chances are my elected representatives are mostly people of my own sex. The more prestigious and powerful the elected position, the more likely this is to be true. - I cannot think of a single transmasc representative. No.
I can be somewhat sure that if I ask to see “the person in charge,” I will face a person of my own sex. The higher-up in the organization the person is, the surer I can be. - How many transmasc CEOs even are there outside of trans-owned businessness. But no.
As a child, chances are I was encouraged to be more active and outgoing than my sisters. - HA. No.
As a child, I could choose from an almost infinite variety of children’s media featuring positive, active, non-stereotyped heroes of my own sex. I never had to look for it; male protagonists were (and are) the default. - Yeah I didn't know trans men existed until my late teens, there's barely media portraying us now.
As a child, chances are I got more teacher attention than girls who raised their hands just as often. - Lol. Lmao even. No.
If my day, week or year is going badly, I need not ask of each negative episode or situation whether or not it has sexist overtones. - Misogynistic, cissexist, transphobic..... no.
I can turn on the television or glance at the front page of the newspaper and see people of my own sex widely represented, every day, without exception. - Nope. And when we do it's people being transphobic most times. Yay!
If I’m careless with my financial affairs it won’t be attributed to my sex. - It's because we spend sooooo much money on mutilating surgeries.....
If I’m careless with my driving it won’t be attributed to my sex. - Oh, it will be.
I can speak in public to a large group without putting my sex on trial. - Our gender identities certainly will be!
If I have sex with a lot of people, it won’t make me an object of contempt or derision. - Testosterone HRT makes us violent horny creatures, didn't you know? /sar. Nope.
There are value-neutral clothing choices available to me; it is possible for me to choose clothing that doesn’t send any particular message to the world. - I guess? Although I'm a little unsure of the framing of this question. Like, I get it's trying to talk about how women will be judged based on the clothing they wear no matter what. But if people are absolutely judging transmascs for their clothing choices as well. With added "why are you dressing like that, I thought you wanted to be a man" on top. This feels like it only applies to passing transmascs who only ever wear men's clothing. So, I guess the answer is No because it can't be a blanket statement.
My wardrobe and grooming are relatively cheap and consume little time. - Circumstantial, so no. Because there are transmascs out there who have to spend considerable amounts of time and money on this. Also, binders and packers etc ain't fucking cheap.
If I buy a new car, chances are I’ll be offered a better price than a woman buying the same car. - Nope
If I’m not conventionally attractive, the disadvantages are relatively small and easy to ignore. - NOOOOOOOPE
I can be loud with no fear of being called a shrew. I can be aggressive with no fear of being called a bitch. - HAHA NO. Also we'll be called violent and angry at the same time as whiny and hysterical. Best of both worlds.
I can ask for legal protection from violence that happens mostly to men without being seen as a selfish special interest, since that kind of violence is called “crime” and is a general social concern. (Violence that happens mostly to women is usually called “domestic violence” or “acquaintance rape,” and is seen as a special interest issue.) - Fuck no.
I can be confident that the ordinary language of day-to-day existence will always include my sex. “All men are created equal,” mailman, chairman, freshman, he. - Yeah, sure. One advantage of sharing an identity with the dominant group. However we will be excluded from other language when needed, such as "women's healthcare" or "pregnant women" so. I'd say that's a moot point.
My ability to make important decisions and my capability in general will never be questioned depending on what time of the month it is. - LOLLLL Nope.
I will never be expected to change my name upon marriage or questioned if I don’t change my name. - Huh. I actually don't know about this one. Since the wording is "never" and there are transmascs in countries where they're forced to live as women and married off, no.
The decision to hire me will never be based on assumptions about whether or not I might choose to have a family sometime soon. - No
Every major religion in the world is led primarily by people of my own sex. Even God, in most major religions, is usually pictured as being male. - Yeah but certainly not trans men. I'll take a half point.
Most major religions argue that I should be the head of my household, while my wife and children should be subservient to me. - Not at fucking alllllllll
If I have a wife or live-in girlfriend, chances are we’ll divide up household chores so that she does most of the labor, and in particular the most repetitive and unrewarding tasks. - This is very heteronormative so I'm not sure how transmascs in straight relationships would handle this. I'm sure there'd be just as much pressure on the transmasc to contribute to chores, and much more than cis men in any case.
If I have children with a wife or girlfriend, chances are she’ll do most of the childrearing, and in particular the most dirty, repetitive and unrewarding parts of childrearing. - I think this is getting into more nuanced and "not quite applicable" territory because this is something that would be worked out between the parents. However I don't think there would be the default expectation of the women like in cishet relationships.
If I have children with a wife or girlfriend, and it turns out that one of us needs to make career sacrifices to raise the kids, chances are we’ll both assume the career sacrificed should be hers. - See point above.
Magazines, billboards, television, movies, pornography, and virtually all of media is filled with images of scantily-clad women intended to appeal to me sexually. Such images of men exist, but are much rarer. - Again, for the straight bros. But this point is a bit strange because, does this mean lesbians have male privilege? I think this goes to show more how cishet male sexuality is prioritised than anything. Transmascs are sexualised in a way very different but not less than women.
On average, I am under less pressure to be thin than my female counterparts are. If I am fat, I probably suffer fewer social and economic consequences for being fat than fat women do. - No, I've heard too many stories from fat transmascs to even entertain this. We've got such high ED rates in our demographic too.
If I am heterosexual, it’s incredibly unlikely that I’ll ever be beaten up by a spouse or lover. - Nope
Complete strangers generally do not walk up to me on the street and tell me to “smile.” - Oh they have.
On average, I am not interrupted by women as often as women are interrupted by men. - At least in my experience I get interrupted by both women and men. As often as they're interrupted by men though? Idk I'm not keeping count. I get interrupted by men more than other men though.
I have the privilege of being unaware of my male privilege - I am acutely aware of when I'm being treated better because I'm being perceived as a cis man.
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gettinontopic · 2 days ago
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I have a question in your breakdown of trans androphobia you cited a bunch of things that also can happen to trans women as points that are the "intersection" but if they're not unique to trans men beyond the caviat that in the case of corrective sexual assaults could it could lead to pregnancy, but trans women face issues with social stigmas as a teen, restrictions on reproductive rights and everything else you listed
Yes, it is important to keep in mind that transandrophobia can effect anyone, which is an idea that’s starting to become lost in the conversation as more people seem to separate trans men and trans women into groups of “those affected by transandrophobia” and “those affected by transmisogyny.” Once again, this is creating yet another binary, and excluding many of the most important voices in the community, such as non-binary and intersex people, who can also experience transandrophobia in ways that intersect with exorsexism and intersexism.
The coiner of the term “transandrophobia” highlights the way in which fear or hatred of men and masculinity are rooted in the oppression of trans men (including an important addition about how more work needs to be done to include non-binary people in its definition), but this does not necessarily affect trans men or mascs exclusively. For example, closeted, pre-transitioned or non-passing trans women and fems can be affected by this fear too, and be excluded from queer spaces for not performing an acceptable level of femininity. This post succinctly points out how transandrophobia can affect trans women in a similar way to how transmisogyny can affect trans men.
So I’m not trying to insinuate that transandrophobia is exclusive towards trans men, because that would be hypocritical of me to say as someone who’s critical of tme/tma language and the unnecessary binary it creates.
Furthermore, however, it’s important to note that while trans men, trans women and non-binary people can experience the same types of transphobia, the motivations behind the transphobia they’re targeted with may be different, and this distinction is just as important in the conversation about transandrophobia as how transandrophobia itself manifests.
For example, all trans people are at very high risks of sexual assault, but the motivations behind these assaults may be different. A cis man might assault a trans woman due to the dehumanisation of trans women that lead them to being viewed as fetish objects, whereas a cis man might assault a trans man under the belief that the trans man needs a “real” man to “fix” them.
A trans woman may face social stigma as a child or teen because she is “othered” by the people around her as a predator or faggot, and therefore young trans girls are forced to grow up far too quickly. Trans girls don’t get to be children, because they’re viewed through this transmisogynistic lens that all trans women are “predatory, adult men preying on vulnerable cis girls” and therefore their childhood and teenhood is essentially stripped away from them. This goes twofold for black trans women, but it also needs to be noted that black trans men can also experience this adultification on the basis of their race, as black people are forced to grow up much quicker than their white peers, so that’s an intersection that needs to be kept in mind when talking about the adultification vs infantilisation of trans people.
For trans men, the opposite can happen. We can face social stigma as children and teens due to the infantilisation from people around us. Our autonomy is stripped away so violently that anything we do to our bodies is considered an attack on the cis women around us, and laws are constantly put in place to limit gender affirming care for trans youth under the excuse of “protecting vulnerable young girls from mutilation.” I’m a grown adult, and my decisions are still treated like I’m a 14 year old child by the people around me, who feel like they need to intervene to stop me from doing anything “stupid,” aka transition.
Meanwhile, non-binary people aren’t just infantilised, but erased entirely. Their identities are constantly brushed off as being a “trend” or “cringe,” or something they’ll eventually grow out of. This can cause social stigma in both cis society and queer communities, as they’re viewed as “confused” by both sets of people, either waiting to detransition into a cis identity or waiting to transition “fully” into a binary identity.
There’s a lot more examples of this, but I think if you want to understand transandrophobia more, it would be beneficial to focus on the motivations and the causes of the transphobia different types of trans people face, rather than the result, because a lot of transphobia can manifest in very similar ways, but still have different reasonings behind them.
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gettinontopic · 2 days ago
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the r/trans situation is disgusting but man the community response and banding together is so sweet
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gettinontopic · 2 days ago
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why, yes! hating trans men/transmasc individuals IS transphobic! i cannot fucking believe that needs to be said!
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gettinontopic · 2 days ago
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Apparently a hot take, but if you yourself are not a trans man or masc, maybe don't nitpick about what experiences we live through are valid to you and which ones aren't. You're not one of us, leave us alone.
"Well, I don't think you experience harassment"
Are you me? No! So shut up about what I do and don't experience! This goes for any group! I'm not gonna sit here and go "X group of people I'm not a part of doesn't actually experience oppression, because I, someone who isn't of that group have never seen it!" So why the HELL is it ok for you to do that???
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gettinontopic · 2 days ago
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Don't post in this tag if you're just gonna go "But I'm talk to the whiiiite trans guys :(" when you get called out by the multiple tpoc in the tag. one: we dont give a shit. dont talk about our siblings like that. and two: no you werent or you woild have said that abd wouldn't have argued with the white ones who plinted us out first
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