gfbreadcurtains

[gfbreadcurtains]

Title: 

 would it be enough,( if I could never give you peace)

Pairing: platonic golden trio

Written by: GFbreadcurtains on AO3 hii123579 on wattpad

Summary:  5 times Harry was worried he was putting his friends in danger and, 1 time where he realized they would always stick with him regardless.

Or a 5+1 golden trio fic, where Harry is not happy about the fact that he’s putting all his loved ones in danger, and they keep telling him he’s not.

Links:  AO3 https://archiveofourown.org/works/63608407

  Wattpad.  

Chapter: 4/6

 Chapter summary:

*4*

{fourth-year}

-where Harry is under the impression that because Voldemort is back. A good plan would be to convince his best friends to leave him.-

-Ron and Hermione, however vehemently disagree, and have decided the best course of action is clinging onto him and proving they’re never leaving.-

Harry couldn’t sleep. not that he didn’t want to, he did, but every time he even blinked, all he saw was the graveyard, Cedric’s body, and Voldemort.

  It was all too much; it weighed on his consciousness, and there was no way he’d be able to knock himself out with anything less than a potion. Even that had yet to work, as he had already been given one so far, and it had no effect on his restless mind. 

It felt like the third task hadn’t been a real event, he felt so far removed it’s as if none of that had actually happened to him at all.

 He wished that all of it had been a terrible dream, that he would wake up and everything would be fine. maybe he had dreamed up this whole awful year,

 maybe he’d still be at the Dursleys when he’d finally come back to his senses.

 And imagine him wishing he would want to be at the Dursley, if that’s not a sign of how bad this had affected him, he didn't know what was. Well, okay, maybe he did know. He's sure that any of the other things wrong with him at the moment would put up a good case.

but there was no way that his dream scenario could be true, and so he was left with only the horrible reality that was currently his life, he began unwillingly, to replay his memories of the graveyard,

being dragged through the loop again and again.

Watching Cedric die, was like watching the tide come in and out, from the calm sandy beach, entranced by it to the point where he couldn’t look away, in a way that only happens when something so tragic and unstoppable has occurred.

Eventually, and unfortunately, it wasn’t just Cedric he watched die in his mind. Cedric’s face merged with Ron's, suddenly leaving him to picture the horrible concept of his best friend dying in front of him. Now instead the newly deceased boy, picturing Ron’s face as dead and as cold as Cedric's.

 Cold terror poured over him at the idea, leaving him with chills running all over his body, but his mind didn’t stop there, soon he was picturing Hermione, then all the people that had cared for him, till it was a pile of corpses in front of him, of all the people he’d ever cared about. Taken as quickly Cedric was leaving him with nothing but helplessness as he mourned.

He knew logically the only one dead was Cedric, but he couldn’t stop his mind from running to horrific deaths And those cold, glassy eyes, and he definitely couldn’t sleep. 

Madam Pomfrey had returned. Maybe she’d sensed his restlessness, luckily, he didn’t need to speak to ask for something strong enough that it would make his mind shut off completely. She quickly shuffled away and returned with a small vile same as he had taken earlier.

“Thank you,” he croaked out, his voice scratchy from all the screaming he had been doing just an amount of hours ago.

She merely Hummed in response before scurrying off, probably to attend to her other matters.

Matters that were probably more important than a boy who couldn’t fall asleep, just because of some nightmares, haunting him as he lay there awake, but unmoving.

He always thought he knew what helplessness was. It was when he tried to convince the Dursleys he hadn’t done whatever they accused him of,

was when he could only stare in grief at Hermione‘s stiff body,

was when the dementors were all around him, and he couldn’t make himself cast another patronus,

maybe even when he was entered in this stupid tournament, with no say and no one listening to him.

But none of that would ever compare to what he felt when Cedric was killed, and he was forced to watch Voldemort be reborn.

 He had thought in the back of his mind, though he never addressed it, that if Voldemort would ever return, Harry could fight him like he always did, that he could protect everyone and if not stop him, could at least get away safely.

And he got away at least, even if he had to run like a coward to do it. ‘no,’ he told himself, ‘it's not cowardly. It was the only way.’

‘Would Cedric have run?’ he asked himself ‘if it had been the other way around?’

‘It doesn’t matter,’ he thought, ‘it happened, It’s over and it doesn’t matter, There’s nothing I can do about it now.’

‘But what about next time?’ The thought came from his head, it was one that he was trying to suppress, but he knew it was fruitless. Voldemort was back and Harry was alive. There will be a next time. 

What if the thing he’s been fearing ever since he got back, that he pictured every time he closed his eyes came true? What if someone Voldemort knew he loved was next?

He doesn’t think he could stand watching them die. Hermione and Ron would try to fight with him, He knew that, but he couldn’t let them.

Voldemort can’t have them. Harry is not willing to let him have them.

Even if that means Harry doesn’t get to have them either, he felt the effects of the potion slowly start to work. His eyelids felt heavy, his breath evening out. He put his glasses on the side table before sliding from his seated position, resting his head on his pillow.

  His last thought before he drifted off was,

 ‘How am I supposed to tell Ron and Hermione that they can’t ever be friends with me again, or more importantly how do I make them listen’ And he was out.

He was rudely awakened the next morning by voices. He strained to pay attention, hearing Dumbledore and the minister of magic. It seems like an important conversation. The remnants of sleep drifting off of him, he was fully engrossed.

 They argued for a few minutes before the minister left with a huff, Leaving Harry with the weight of what had just been said, he didn’t believe him, they thought he was lying about Voldemort. What was he supposed to do now?

Not only was the Dark Lord back from the dead, or as dead as he got, but the minister didn’t even believe him, which means the government wouldn’t believe him, which means he didn’t have protection, and that they were just gonna leave him defenseless. Even if something did happen, what would they do if he tried to warn them, how many would it take before they intervened?

If anything that just firmed his resolve from the night before, he was not going to drag his friends down with him if Voldemort knew who they were, he could harm them to get to Harry. Now he knew that people wouldn’t believe him; they would be labeled just as crazy as he was; he had to distance himself. They’d understand, it was for the greater good, so they could be safe.

He started planning out what to say. He didn’t want to chicken out, they needed to hear this. They needed to understand why they couldn’t be around each other anymore. It hurt him sure, but it would hurt him a lot less than the alternative.

He was still running through ideas, racking his brain for the perfect words to say, when he saw them come in. Making his thoughts go screeching to a halt.

“Harry, it’s so good to see you again. How are you feeling? Any better than last night?” Hermione asked cautiously as if he was a stray dog she didn’t wanna spook.

“Yeah mate, we're all worried about you. Are you feeling alright?” Ron questioned, making Harry’s heart hurt when he saw the actual concern in his eyes.

He was sure by now they’d gotten the summary of what had happened in the graveyard he didn’t know if it was worse that they knew, or better, because at least they’d understand why he was about to ask them what he was.

“We need to talk,” Harry said before he could convince himself otherwise. “about us, about Voldemort.”

Ron and Hermione shared a worrying glance, before stepping closer to his bed.

“Of course, what’s wrong?” Hermione inquired while taking a seat on the corner closest to her.

“We shouldn’t be friends anymore,” he said in one breath quickly to not lose the nerve.

“What the bloody hell are you on about now?” Ron said, more bewildered than offended.

“If you stay with me, you’re only gonna be a target, now that Voldemort’s back, he’s after me and that means he’s after things I care about. This means you guys are in danger, and I can’t risk that, I can’t risk losing you. You’re too important.” Harry felt his eyes watering up as he spoke, embarrassed he used the corner of his blanket to wipe them dry.

“What makes you think you can get rid of us?” Hermione said coolly.

“Yeah,” Ron chimed in, “you think now that Voldemort’s back we’re just gonna abandon you if anything we’re sticking closer together now than ever.” he came to place his hand lightly on Harry’s shoulder.

“No, you don’t understand,” Harry argued, "you can’t. He’s gonna find you, I can’t let you guys die because of me.”

“Mate, do you remember how we became friends?” Ron asked, confusing Harry with the abrupt change of topic.

“What does that have to do with anything?” Harry said, puzzled.

“Just humor me,” Ron said dryly.

“I-“ Harry thought back, racking his brain. It had been so long ago now 

"Are you talking about the troll incident?" Harry tilted his head in question, absolutely bewildered on the new subject.

“That’s the one,” Ron let out a breathless laugh, looking caught in the memory. “and what exactly do you think happened during the troll incident?”

“We fought a troll, what does this have to do with anything?” Harry wasn’t seeing where he was going with this.

“Exactly, we fought a troll.” Ron exclaimed, “Wouldn’t you think that would make us drift apart? Because by your logic, it’s dangerous to be around you, right? Well, tell me, why is it that instead of leaving you, that was the moment we all became friends?”

“I don’t know,” Harry murmured, trying to wrap his head around that piece of information.

“Ugh,” Hermione cried, “because Harry, we don’t care don’t about any of that, don't care that you seem to be a danger magnet and we don’t care that we’re constantly getting into trouble because of you. Do you want to know why? Because we love you, Harry, And we won’t leave you no matter how much you want us to, because we care about you!” She made direct eye contact with him, and he was surprised by the amount of genuine care in her eyes.

“If we we’re gonna leave here, we would’ve done it day one, but we didn’t, and we won’t ever, and you’re going to need us now more than ever.’” Ron said it like he actually meant it, which made Harry more determined.

“No, you don’t understand,” Harry pleaded. “The minister of magic doesn’t even believe me. What does that tell you about the rest of the Wizard world? I can’t let you guys take the fall with me.”

“Harry,” Ron says “you do remember the chamber of secrets right? and how everyone thought you were the heir of Slytherin, do you think we cared then what they were saying about you?”

‘Maybe not then,’ he thought bitterly, ‘but you sure did care this year. You were the first to betray me when you thought I put my name in.’ He didn’t say that though, he was over it, mostly… he understood why,  it just got to him a little bit.

“Do you not want to know what I think Harry?” Hermione asked, 

“Does it really matter? you’re going to tell me regardless.” Harry grumbled 

Hermione sent him a scathing look and he withered slightly under it.

“I think you’re worried we’re going to leave you, so instead of waiting for it, you’re trying to push us away, but it won’t happen. I promise I don’t care how scary it gets. I’m sticking with my best friends, even if some crazy psychopath is trying to kill us, even if everyone thinks I’m insane for believing you, I don’t care what they think, I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I do know that I will be with you despite all of it.”

“You can’t Hermione," he said, bitterly. completely ignoring the first part because it was not true, Shut up brain.  “You can’t risk your life for me, I’m not worth it”

“You don’t get to decide that.” Ron says while pulling him in for a hug Hermione joins in a second later, both piled on top of him as he sits and thinks.

 He could lose them yes, but it would be so much better if they stayed if he didn’t have to go through all of this alone, if he could have his best friends right there with him even while fighting Voldemort, if they’d stay with him, if they wouldn’t leave, maybe it would all be alright. Maybe it was only because he knew they’d never make him face this alone.

The memory of that early morning would stick with him throughout his life, because they didn’t leave even when he’d given them an easy out; they chose him and he would be forever grateful.

[gfbreadcurtains]

Title: 

 would it be enough,( if I could never give you peace)

Pairing: platonic golden trio

Written by: GFbreadcurtains on AO3 hii123579 on wattpad

Summary:  5 times Harry was worried he was putting his friends in danger and, 1 time where he realized they would always stick with him regardless.

Or a 5+1 golden trio fic, where Harry is not happy about the fact that he’s putting all his loved ones in danger, and they keep telling him he’s not.

Links:  AO3 https://archiveofourown.org/works/63608407

  

Wattpad.  

Would it be enough, ( if I could never give you peace) - Hii123579 - Wattpad

5 times Harry was worried he was putting his friends in danger, and 1 time where he realized they would always stick with him regardless. Or

wattpad.com

Chapter: 3/6

 Chapter summary:

*3* {third-year} -where Harry is getting whiplash from all of these dramatic reveals and would like it if he could get some clear answers.- -But misunderstandings are, unfortunately, all they get.-

______________________________________________________________

 

Harry watched in horror as the black dog, started to pull Ron away, dragging him into the whomping Willow.

 He and Hermione chased after them, fighting off branches as they came thoroughly disoriented, by the time they came to their senses they found Crookshanks approaching the tree suddenly it stops freezes in place.

They run after Crookshanks and hopefully to where Ron was taken.

They soon arrive at a long hallway and after a bit farther. It opens up into a room, Harry sees Ron there on the ground, making eye contact when Ron notices them. 

Ron frantically begins to shake his head. “It's a trap.” He exclaimed, “The dog,” he hurried on. “He's Sirius black!”

 But it was too late, Harry heard a loud bang, as the door was closed behind them.

The man that stood there was raggedy and thin, with hollow cheeks and Hollow eyes he looked dead on his feet, his long black hair knotted and grimy but Harry knew who he was. He recognizes him from the paper. This is Sirius Black, who was the black dog he’s been seeing this whole year. Suddenly, his wand is yanked from his hand; he's disarmed by the man in front of him, who takes their remaining wands.

 Harry couldn't believe this was the man who had killed his parents, who took away everything from him, taken his childhood, and his family, had left him with 12 years at the Dursleys, with nothing but longing for a real family.

How dare he break into Hogwarts? How dare he be right in front of him after all he’s done?

 He wishes he had his wand, wishes he could curse the man and make him feel the hurt he’s had to go through for so long.

 “Listen, I don’t wanna cause any more trouble, I just want him,” Black says conversationally. Pure rage and fear take over him. He can’t take anything else from Harry. He won’t let him, and something in Harry snaps. 

He lunges forward, hands grabbing for Black's neck. Ron and Hermione hold him back. With Hermione still holding him back, Ron steps out in front of them.

 “If you want him, you’ll have to go through us” and grief ripples in his head because Ron is willingly stepping out in front of Harry to save him, he wants to pull him back, to stop him from being so reckless, risking his own life for Harry; but is stopped by Hermione holding tight to him.

Black, however, looked unfazed and unimpressed.

“get off your leg.” He demanded, “That thing looks bad and I don’t wanna hurt anyone-” 

“oh, you don’t wanna hurt anyone?” Harry cut him off enraged. “That is such a lie!” Hermione tried to soothe him  “Calm down Harry you need to be rational,” 

“no” Harry cried, “I won’t because you know what, he killed my mum and dad!” he screamed out the last part.

He sees Black flinch at that, and that pisses him off even more. He swings, not being held back by anyone now, and it hits. His friends soon follow, not wanting him to be overtaken by Black, and even Crookshanks joins in. Harry grabs back his wand and the others follow suit. He pointed his wand at the man now lying on the ground. “You killed my parents.” Harry grinds his teeth, stewing in anger.

“I know,” black says,” just give me a minute to explain. You have to listen to me, you don’t know the whole story.” he pleads.

Harry hesitates. He looks at Crookshanks Who now, suits himself on top of the man's chest. 

‘He was my dad‘s best friend,’ He thinks bitterly.

Friendship meant everything to Harry. His friends meant the most to him in the entire world, and he could never imagine betraying them, but this man had betrayed his dad. And killed James and Lily Potter, killing his chance of having a normal life. 

That just firmed his resolve, he kept his hand steady as it pointed and got ready to attack, but looking down at him he couldn’t do it… he couldn’t kill him. 

There was a loud crack as the door was burst open. He turned, shocked to see Professor Lupin.

Harry goes from surprised, to relieved, to betrayed, in a matter of seconds, as Lupin disarms Harry, grabs his wand from mid-air, and rushes to Black. 

Harry steps back, huddling with his friends, as Lupin begins to interrogate the fugitive. “Where is he?” he asks, confusing Harry ‘where’s who?’ he thinks bewildered, and to Harry‘s growing horror Black points to Ron. The three of them exchange terrified glances,

 The two men seem distracted talking about things that make no sense. Something about “secret keeper” and “switching” complete nonsense to Harry, but it seems to make total sense to the two of them. 

And then what must be the most insane turn of events so far they hug. He can see them visibly relaxing in each other‘s arms, and it’s infuriating. 

He trusted Professor Lupin, but now he was hugging the man who killed his parents. Hermione lets out a gasp. “How could you?” She seemed to have made up her mind about something before speaking.

 “I figured it out ages ago, and I wasn’t going to tell, but Ron, Harry,” She turns to them, “Professor Lupin is a werewolf.”

 Both of them let out a gasp. He looked frantically at Lupin, he only laughed lightly. “When did you figure it out?” He asked Hermione, confirming it to the rest of them.

 “Well. I had my suspicions,” she started, “but I didn’t know for sure until Snape assigned us that essay.”

“I’m sure he’d be happy to know that it worked.” Lupin said ruefully, “He’s been trying to out me for a while now”. 

They fell into a haze of arguments after that, back-and-forth Harry getting worked up and Lupin trying to calm him down. He even offered back his wand, which Harry gladly took. 

“But how did you even find us?” Harry asked, trying to wrap his head around it.

“Well, I had the map, didn't I?” Lupin said humorously.

“Wait,” Harry questioned, "how do you know how it worked?”

Lupin and Black shared a wry smile “We made the map, you know how it’s called the marauders map, well we were the marauders. Sirius, Peter, James, your father, and me.”

And that sent Harry spiraling. It felt like every time he learned more information about his parents the more he missed them. He hated having to hear about their lives through retellings. He wondered what they had gotten up to, if it was anything like his friendship with Ron and Hermione if they had felt that much like family to his dad, 

 He pictured James with these two men in front of him,  they all would’ve been younger, with his father, and another boy Peter, the man black had killed.

What would happen if one of Harry's friends betrayed him like that, if he betrayed one of them, it was so far removed from what felt like a possibility. There was no way that one of them would do that,

but then again isn’t that what his dad thought? 

Lupin continues about the map, pulling Harry from his thoughts, explaining how he saw them on the map how he saw Sirius drag two of them, into the whomping Willow.

“What are you on about? I was the only one pulled in.” Ron asked incredulously.

“It was very much two of you,” Black responded, “you and your rat.”

“my rat?” Ron asks,

 He looked to be internally questioning the sanity of the man who spent 12 years in Azkaban.

“Although, not exactly a rat, not with being a wizard and all,” Black says sarcastically.

“What?” all three of the confused students ask.

“Listen, it’s a long story but Scabbers isn’t a rat, he's an animagus by the name of Peter Pettigrew who faked his death” Lupin hurried to explain.

“Have you lost your bloody mind? That’s a rat.” Ron says disbelieving.

But the two men seem to have stopped paying attention instead of talking amongst themselves. From the bits hairy could catch something about how “They weren’t ready to hear such things.”

But Harry was done waiting, for an explanation, for this all to make sense. he just wanted for him and his friends to be safe, to get Ron to care for his leg, which was looking quite bad, to have all of his answers now, and to not be in this shabby house anymore.

“I don’t understand,” Harry says, drawing the attention back to him, "there were witnesses who saw Peter die.”

“Harry, the marauders map is never wrong,” Lupin says soothingly

“But I’ve seen the registry for animagus, and Peter Pettigrew isn't on it,” Hermione exclaims.

Lupin is about to reply when he’s cut off by the door opening, but no one comes through it. He seems to accept it is just a breeze because he continues. 

“That would be my fault. I was bitten when I was very young” he paused considering how to phrase his next words.

“and as you may know, werewolves are not treated kindly, but Dumbledore gave me a chance, he let me come to the school.”

“When I arrived, they placed the Whopping Willow that connected to the shrieking shack so I could transform without being able to escape and attack others.” 

“There has been a recent potion invention that Professor Snape has been brewing for me called Wolfsbane. It helps keep me under control during full moons but before that. Well…” he takes a deep breath before continuing to change the subject. 

“When I was at school, I made three of the closest friends you can imagine, and I thought when they figured out what I was they would hate me, so I lied to them and told them several things, but eventually, they figured me out, but they didn’t hate me. They instead did what was the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for me; they became animagus. Sirius, or padfoot, is a black dog. Peter or Wormtail. A rat.” he paused,

“And your father James, or prongs as we called him, was a stag.

Harry tries to visualize what that must have been like, to think all of your friends would leave you or even should leave you, but they did not regardless.

They helped and did something so incredibly advanced just for him.

He thinks he would do it for his friends and secretly he hopes they would do it for him.

Lupin talks about the prank. Harry had heard so much about. He learns that it was actually Sirius’s fault and that while his father had saved him, Snape still hated, and was jealous of him.

They’re in the middle of talking about him, when the man himself appears out of thin air, flinging off with what Harry knows to be his invisibility cloak. Snape had his wand out and pointed at Lupin. Snape draws on, about how he “found the invisibility cloak,” how he “suspected Lupin would be helping Black” and how “they were both going down.”

Hermione cut in, “We don’t know what happened. We haven’t heard the full story yet. He could be innocent.”

Snape just yells to cut her off. “be quiet girl, don’t speak in which matters you know nothing of!”

Which just made Harry hate that git even more.

“I’ll come up to the castle, if you bring the rest of them I can prove my innocence.” Black offers smuggling.

"Oh, we don’t need to go that far,” Snape drawls, “in fact, we can have the dementors come down as soon as you step out the door, haven’t you heard there’s a kiss waiting for you and maybe for your little mutt too.” he says the last part smirking viciously at Lupin.

Harry steps in front of Lupin and in turn the wand, “Professor Lupin hasn’t done anything wrong. He could’ve killed me multiple times this year. We've had private lessons. He’s had many opportunities.”

“I don’t pretend to understand the likes of his kind, or how they think, now get out of the way boy!” Snape barks, acting far more animalistic than Professor Lupin ever had.

“You’re pathetic,” Harry announces, looking directly into his eyes “All of this over one prank you’re willing to risk the lives of two innocent men?”

“They are far from innocent and you should be thanking me. I’m saving your life from these deranged men. Now get out of the way.”

That just aggravates Harry more, and he’s acutely aware of the wand in his hand. He casts the disarming spell, It just so happens that his two friends had the same idea.

Snape goes crashing into the wall, becoming unconscious, and slumping over.

He can hear Hermione panicking about hitting a teacher,  but he’s too preoccupied with the idea that he could’ve just knocked out his only backup,

 but this was Snape. He reasons with himself, 'he judges me prematurely every day. There’s nothing to say he won’t do the same to them.'

“Thank you for believing in me, Harry” Black says and internally he’s freaking out, over not freaking out, At being called Harry it somehow sounded right coming from him.

“Yeah, well I’m not completely convinced you have got a lot of explaining to do.”

And he does, both he and Lupin explain how Peter must’ve cut his finger off, and how it’s suspicious that, that rat has been in Ron’s family for so long, Black

explains how Crookshanks stole the passwords for him. And that his real target was Peter.

“But then, what about my parents? I don’t understand, why did you tell me you killed them?” Harry asks.

A lot of things happen after that Black no… Sirius? Tells them that they had switched secret keepers, and they hadn’t told anyone. That Peter had sold them out and when Sirius found out he went looking for him. It was Peter who killed the Muggles, then cut off his finger,

and escaped.

And that Sirius blamed himself.

Lupin manages to convince Ron to hand over the rat and says an incantation with the wand he’d stolen back from Snape, 

and for one second, Harry hoped it wouldn’t work, that Sirius had been lying, that he hadn’t suffered 12 years for something, He hadn’t done. His godfather, who he had a suspicion cared for Harry, wasn’t wrongly left to such a terrible fate.

But the rat transformed into a hideous man, he tries to beg them for mercy, to claim Sirius was insane. He even turned to Ron begging him.

“I let you sleep in my bed,” Ron realized aloud.

 And what a horrible realization that was, this man had been watching him, Ron, and Hermione for so long.

The person who killed his parents who subjected him to such a terrible life. Was this man in front of him, weak and pathetic?

The desperate man on the floor turns to Harry next. “You look so much like your father, Harry, I didn't mean to, I promise.”

Harry was about to do something when Sirius roared at the man “Don’t you dare talk to Harry that way!”

“You don’t understand,” Peter begs. “I had to do it, he would've killed me!”

“Then you should have died!” Sirius bellows, “died rather than betrayed your friend, as we would have for you!”

Sirius aims his wand at him, and Harry’s brain comes rushing to a halt. While this man had killed his parents if he died Sirius would never be free. He could never have his godfather, or a part of the family, he was always waiting for.

 So he steps in front of him, “You can’t kill him, not yet. We need him to prove your innocence.”

And that’s it, no one argues against him.

 He was surprised that none of them were fighting him on this. He’s never had an adult, consider him, or listen… or care, It feels nice. 

They find something to split Ron’s leg, tie Peter up, and Sirius starts floating Snape’s body to carry him, as they leave Harry notices Sirius may or may not be intentionally bobbing him up and down, so he’d hit his head on the ceiling. Harry snickers to himself at that.  He was just laughing at the petty revenge when Sirius asked him a question he thought he would never hear. 

“Of course, I wanna live with you.” Harry cuts him off smiling,

"I hate it at the Dursleys, it would be incredible to live with you.”

Sirius smiles at that, and Harry thinks that maybe that’s what he looked like before Azkaban. There’s a twinkle in his eye that must’ve been dead for a long time.

When they came out and arrived back on the grounds, Harry saw it, the full moon. It was round and threatening in a way it had never been before. What followed after that was pure chaos. Peter escaped, Remus transformed, and just when he thought it was finally over they saw them.

 They were by the edge of the lake and it was like something shifted, the air grew cold. Fear clung to his bones, and his breath shallowed, coming in short gaps.

 His mind was buzzing, full of static, and then he heard it. 

The screaming of his mother filled his head, and he saw them, the dementors. They were on all sides of them, leaving them surrounded. He pointed his wand out, “Expecto Patronum!” He cried, “Expecto Patronum!” Like a mantra over and over, Hermione tried to join in, to help him, but She could barely get through the first word. His Patronus tried its best to stop them, but there were too many. 

He saw Sirius fall to the ground. “Expecto Patronum!” He tried again. Hermione was now out too.

This couldn’t be happening. He couldn’t lose them. Couldn’t lose his godfather, Couldn’t lose his chance at a new family, couldn't lose his friends. He couldn’t let them die because of him, but it seemed hopeless.

  The horrible creature in front of him slowly removed its hood, revealing its dark empty face. It clawed at Harry's neck. Preventing him from breathing, he struggled, but it was no use. There was nothing he could do. He felt himself losing consciousness, felt himself slip. The last thing he saw was a blinding silver light before it all went dark.

Later after the Time Turner, and rescuing Buckbeak. he stands at the edge of the very same lake that the three of them had almost died at, he casts his Patronus and watches it chase the Dementors away.

[gfbreadcurtains]

Title: 

 would it be enough,( if I could never give you peace)

Pairing: platonic golden trio

Written by: GFbreadcurtains on AO3 hii123579 on wattpad

Summary:  5 times Harry was worried he was putting his friends in danger and, 1 time where he realized they would always stick with him regardless.

Or a 5+1 golden trio fic, where Harry is not happy about the fact that he’s putting all his loved ones in danger, and they keep telling him he’s not.

Links:  AO3 https://archiveofourown.org/works/63608407

  Wattpad.  

Chapter: 2/6

 Chapter summary:

*2*

{second-year}

-where Harry thinks he is to blame for everything.-

-But Ron is shoving it down his throat he’s not.-

They were still hiding in the closet neither one of them moved they barely breathed

 The time it took for the teacher to leave, left a small infinity of thoughts racing through his head. ‘How had it come to this?' rattled through his brain like a game of ping pong back and forth on a loop.

Ginny had been taken to the chamber of secrets.

 It felt like a breaking point for him, like all of the year he had been waiting for it, for the complete crash that he was now drowning in.

 It had a build-up he realized the way you only can when looking back on things, hindsight was 20/20 and all that.

And you would think he’d have gotten better at not causing so much trouble.

but if you added it up, the car, the voices, Hermione,

and now Ginny has been taken; which didn’t make any sense. Ginny was pure-blood; there was no reason for her to have been a target in the first place, let alone been kidnapped by the monster, or whoever opened it.

 But she was gone now, and there was nothing he could do to stop the fact that Ron's little sister was taken.

He glanced over to see if he could make out Ron's face through the darkness. There was only a sliver of light peeking through the crack of the door, but it gave him enough to see the horror there. 

Harry is sure that Ron's thoughts reflect his own, but this is Ron's sister. 

Harry has never had a family, well besides the Dursleys, and they don’t count. All He had was Ron and Hermione.

 Ginny was such a nice girl. It was her first year at her new school. She didn’t deserve to be killed by the monster in the chamber.

 This would destroy the Weasleys, his mind haunting him with the idea of poor Mrs. Weasley, crying with her husband, over their only daughter whose first year at Hogwarts had gotten her killed.

 The family that had taken him in in the summer, had treated him like their own. Grieving the loss of their child.

 He couldn’t let that happen. They had to get her back, but how? 

 Ron burst the door to the closet they were hiding in open, startling Harry, he panicked for half a second before, realizing the teachers had all filled out already when he was too lost in thought to notice.

“Ron, how are we gonna get her back? We don’t even know where the entrance is. What if we’re already too late.?” Harry said as he rushed out of the closet following Ron. He internally began panicking.

 There were too many variables she could already be dead- ‘No,’ he told himself firmly. ‘don't think like that, she is going to be fine, she has to be.’

“We’re going to find her mate. Ron said, firmly looking Harry in the eyes. “I’m not letting some stupid monster. Take my sister from me.” he meant it too, Ron was going to fight tooth and nail to save her, Harry could tell.

“It could be anywhere though” Harry argued, voicing the fears in his head. “We don't have time to search the entire castle.” he cried out past the panic, and his voice became increasingly overwhelmed with emotion.

“We just have to think, that’s what Hermione would say in times like this. It must be somewhere.” Ron replies trying to soothe Harry

 He is losing it, he has to be. His own best friend who’s just lost her sister has to comfort him.

The painful reminder of what happened to Hermione stings through his head.

 She probably would’ve figured it out by now if she was here, but she wasn’t, because she was petrified.

 Why couldn’t he figure this out? Why did it have to take so much from him for him to do something about it? 

“Yeah, well Hermione is not here.” Harry spat out bitterly, “She hasn’t been, she’s in the hospital wing, petrified, and unmoving because of that snake you know the one I’ve been hearing this whole time, in my head.” Harry’s voice had now grown incredulous as he kept going on, falling into his mind, all his terrible thoughts being spoken aloud.

“We were the ones who told you not to tell anyone about your voices. Don’t blame yourself for that.” Ron said, voice even, stating facts that he knew to be true. 

“But you didn’t see how Dumbledore looked at me.” Harry reasons with him trying to make him see this is his fault. “He knew something was going on. I should've told him, maybe none of this had to happen.” he took a shaky breath before his next words but he kept going down his spiral. “All of the people who are now petrified could’ve had a normal term. Ginny didn’t need to be taken.” His voice was shaking by the idea of the year where nothing was wrong, no petrification, no taken children. 

“We don’t have time for “what ifs,” Ron says dismissively, “what we have to do now is find Ginny and get her back. Are you in or not?” he asked, tone dead serious, as if there was a world where he wouldn't come.

“Of course, I’m in, Ron. That was never a question.” Harry sighed heavily, “I just feel like everything that has happened is my fault like I could’ve stopped this. We still don’t even know who the heir is.” he stopped before saying the next part in a guilty whisper. Maybe “they weren’t so far off from thinking it was me.”

“What are you going on about?” Ron questioned bewildered.

“Think about it, Ron,” Harry cried out, “every single petrification has to do with me.”

“That’s what they’ve been whispering in the halls about this whole time,” he continued,

“Colin, nearly headless Nick, and Justin.” He lists out, counting them off on his fingers. “I’ve always been there or recently connected with them.

It can’t just be a coincidence and now it’s taking Hermione and Ginny,” he comes to a halt with the realization. “what if it hurts you?”

“What happens if they’re right,” he asks desperately. “I can hear snakes, that's something only the heir is supposed to be able to do.” he finishes, feeling overwhelmed and drained at the same time.

“Then what about the Ravenclaw girl who got attacked with Hermione,” Ron challenged, humoring his self-hate speech. “why would you petrify nearly headless Nick you have nothing against him.” Ron's tone even, trying not to be accusatory in case he set him off again.  

 “if you think about it like that, it’s more likely you’re being framed. You would know if you were out sending snakes on people, you’d remember that much, I  promise Harry none of this is your fault, but it will be, If you keep going on about this, instead of doing what we need to do be doing

Plus you heard what they said Lockhart is heading to the chamber. He can help us. We can do this Harry, I know we can.”

“You’re right we can do this,” Harry said as he was mapping out the next steps in his head, internally relieved at Ron's words. 

“We know that moaning Myrtle was killed by the snake. So We should start by looking in the bathrooms,” Harry reasoned,  “we bring Lockhart to the entrance. We go down together, get her back, and then everyone will be okay.” convincing himself as much as Ron.

 “The petrification victims will get the mandrake. No one has to face permanent damage. And everything can go back to normal, at least I hope it will be.” He added ruthfully

“That sounds brilliant, although it’s not much of a plan,” Ron said consideringly, then shrugged “I suppose we’ll just wing it then, like we usually do.

As they left to go find Lockhart, Harry’s determination to not let another person get hurt because of him, shone through his terrified thoughts of ancient snakes that were to be awaiting them.

 However later on, when Ron had been unable to come due to the rocks collapsing, and he looked up at the blinded basilisk, he was glad he was alone so that at least the Weasley wouldn’t have to grieve two children.

[gfbreadcurtains]

would it be enough, (if I could never give you peace)

Title: would it be enough,( if I could never give you peace)

Pairing: platonic golden trio

Written by: GFbreadcurtains on AO3 gfbreadcurtains on tumblr and hii123579 on wattpad

Summary:  5 times Harry was worried he was putting his friends in danger and, 1 time where he realized they would always stick with him regardless.

Or a 5+1 golden trio fic, where Harry is not happy about the fact that he’s putting all his loved ones in danger, and they keep telling him he’s not.

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/63608407 on AO3 and

On Wattpad Chapter: 1/6

 Chapter summary:

*1* 

{first-year}

-where Harry doesn’t want to let his friends join his trip down the trapdoor.-

-But they have some… other ideas on the subject.-

——————————————————————————————————

There was a pause as they all absorbed what he had said.

The crackling of the fireplace was the only sound that could be heard, in the gap between talking.

 As if the universe needed a moment to hold still and rearrange itself. as though time had forgotten its job to continue, flickering off for half a second.

“There is no way you're going there alone mate.” 

Came Ron’s argument, tone firm and with a hint of disbelief. 

After Harry had wisely said, they would not be joining him, on his dangerous and rule-breaking adventure tonight.

 They were sitting in the common room, debating what to do now or in Harry’s case who was going.

Their most prevailing issue, of course, was preventing Snape from stealing the sorcerer's stone,

And stopping Voldemort's return.

And how, Harry was gonna go alone, find the Stone, hopefully before Snape did, and return safely he hadn’t quite figured out.

“ yes I am,” Harry defended from his armchair, his favorite, the one closest to the fire, “There’s no way I’m dragging you lot, down with me. Snape could be there even now and I’m the one he’s had a grudge against all term,” he said, emphasizing on I’m. “he’s been targeting me, 

he tried to knock me off my broom, he knows that I suspect him, so I have to be the one to stop him.”

They shared a look of skepticism from the couch they were perched on, both doubting his ability to stop their teacher.

After all, you had to be qualified to be a Hogwarts teacher and to have one be taken out by a first-year student, it would be implausible. 

“Don’t be stupid Harry,” Hermione scolded,

 “of course, we’re coming, and besides, your argument doesn’t work.” She reasoned, 

“Snape hates all of us, and it’s much more dangerous for you to go alone. She softened her tone before saying “We can take him down together.”

Harry was about to protest more when Ron cut him off.

“we’re your friends Harry, and friends help each other,

he paused, contemplated, and then said,” Even if most friendships don’t include going through spooky trapdoors to stop dark lords.” his Wry grin spreading across his face from his apparent joke.

“most friendships aren’t supposed to include dying for each other either,” Harry said bringing attention back to the fact that this was a serious matter. “I'm sure none of you signed up for that when you chose to be my friend,” he remarked bitterly.

 Trying to keep the small part of him that wanted them to be there helping him, off of his face.

“We may not have signed up for this, but Harry, you’re a friend you’re stuck with us whether you like it or not even if that means dying with you.”

“Oh stop this, you both need to quit acting like you’re going to die.” Hermione cut in, peeved. And blatantly annoyed about the amount of carelessness they were showing for their hypothetical deaths. 

“I swear with you, boys,” she murmured under her breath in fond exasperation, quietly enough Harry had to strain to hear.

“No,” he said spitting out the word like it was dirt.

He knew it wasn’t their fault, and he was trying to reason with himself.

they hadn't been the ones trying to steal the stone, or bring back the guy who killed his parents,

 but they weren’t taking this seriously enough, 

because someone was trying to do exactly that, right now. But they are just sitting around doing nothing, except quarreling about him going to face him alone.

 All while Snape was getting closer to reaching the stone.

 It was making him nervous, which in turn, just made him more impatient to go after him.

“That’s what you don’t understand Hermione,” Harry said, struggling to keep his voice level and prevent his growing annoyance from showing through. 

“We could die in there, that's why I can’t let you come with me.” 

 When it all came down to it, he couldn’t drag his friends down with him. 

He hadn’t known very many people who had cared and wanted to spend time with him, and his friends were so genuine in their love. They were his closest friends and he couldn’t just let them walk to their death, knowing that it would be his fault.

“That’s all the more reason to come if you ask me,” Hermione said logically,

Well, to be fair, most things she said were logical, but her tone was especially logical then. 

“and if you did manage to die down there, like you’re so confident you will. I would never forgive myself,” she concluded, her sincerity showing through her words, as she looked into his eyes,

they were filled with so much care and worry, that he had to tear himself away from them.

“And,” Ron added face lighting up with a spark of amusement.

“My mom wouldn't forgive me either.”

Ron smiled mischievously reminiscent of his brothers.

 “She has only met you once, but I swear you’re already her favorite. She'd kill me if anything happened to you.”

Rom tried to say it dead serious, but a smile had slipped in by the end.

Harry was left with the mental image of the nice-looking lady with the red hair from the train station scolding Ron for letting Harry go to his death.

All things considered, it made him smile. Whether that's because of the funny picture it created in his head or the idea that all people would care if he died he couldn't say. 

The air seemed to lighten after that, the tension slowly leaving the trio.

“I’m afraid you don’t have a choice, we're coming with you,” Hermione stated firmly, though Harry could see her lips pull up into a smile.

 Harry resigned from his fate and turned to stare at the flickering flames cracking in the fireplace, getting lost in his head.

He thought long and hard about what they were going to do.

Thought about if he could let his best friends walk into their death with him, and was surprised to find he would rather have them there, with him.

 He then felt horrible for thinking of letting his best friends die like that,

 But Harry had always had this selfish desire in him.

 Perhaps it was to do with his lack of possessions growing up, but he felt the need to hide all the toys and broken things he’d found around the house so that no one would take them away from him. 

And weirdly that's what he was feeling right now.

Not that his friends were objects, no of course not, but they were his in a way no one ever had been,

 For once he would rather have his best friend there to fight alongside him so that he wouldn't have to fight all his battles like had done all his life.

  Plus if anyone could get through all the puzzles it was Ron and Hermione. They were both some of the smartest people Harry had met and he could use any wit or strength he could get.

“Oh alright,” Harry decided. “if you’re both so set on this then fine.” He paused then added, “But if this goes wrong don’t blame me.”

“That’s the spirit mate,” Ron cheered, “now come on, we got a slimy old git to stop from resurrecting the dark Lord.”

“We sure do,” Harry chuckled. 

“And when you think about it, we’d be lucky to only die, haven't you heard? He tilted his head and raised his eyebrows “There are fates much worse than death.” Ron nodded at that seriously.

“Like what for example?” Hermione asked, confused. 

“Like being expelled for one,” Ron replied cheekily.

Both Ron and Harry started laughing at that even Hermione joined in, after getting a good swat at Ron. 

Maybe it was the realization of what was to come, or maybe the bond between them was filled with so much love, 

but when going off to what could be their deaths, they went laughing.