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UNSA- FINALE

  The explosive finale is finally here to bring to all of us closer and for once and for all decide who is the Ugliest Next Skunk Alive ... It has been a great season and probably the last coz you know we still need money and shi ... I want another private jet... four isn't nearly enough ... jesus #firstworldPRoblems ...

    Anyway let's go down to the show .... As soon I end this... as soon I get may paycheck aint that right folks ... So for the final test ...  The final line ... The final obstacle ... The final triceratops... Whatever you want to call it ... We got the specially thought theme of ...... (drums in the distance)..... #I'm Going To Starbucks but I End Up at Subway Eating Some Tasteless Thing ....

Best picture of this last and bombastic round:  Ms Crabs we really didn't know we had that in you who had thought you could really pull it of... I mean your delightful picture seemed a classic crappy selfie eating a sandwich with #attention #daddy issues on the description .... And I'm not only saying this because you paid all of the judges and me with money from some doubt-able place....

Scandal: 1. Einstan has become extremely obsessive with a duck in the national lake ... and there tender and sweet relationship was officially bounded in a secret marriage under the bridge right before the big finale...

                2. Lateisha stricts again before the photo-shot and changes Ms Crabs shampoo for sauce .... She is say's this is only to keep her in higher bitchiness status of humanity...

                3. Remember back... back ... when we revealed that Ms Crabs quote on quote ''(...)come out of jail and is on a social rehabilitation program.

(...)  She comes to the show to kill the concurrence...(..)''... well we came to find out after the photo-shot... that... welll.... this was actually true... she killed EinStan and Lateisha with a nail-polish and submarine (we don't know from where that came from) UPSY DAISY ..... But ANYWAY if we want to watch it BUY THE PACK UNSA + UNSA BEHIND SCENES ON STORES NOW FOR ONLY MORE TEN DOLLARS WE REALLY NEED THAT MONEY THE PRIVATE JET  AINT GONNA BUILD HIMSELF.... 

Winner:                         So we are proud announcing that the winner is Ms Crabs ... We thought that Lateisha deserved more but since the only person Alive is Ms Crabs it means she wins it all... and good thing you are in jail now for the murders.... that means we aint obligated to give you the price ufffff!!!!! More money for us ...Congrats you are offecially the Ugliest Next Skunk Alive...

DisHonorable Mention: 

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UNSA-ROUND 5

  Round 5 and the last one before the big finale ... you know what this means.... It means double elimination night .... the air is very heavy in this time of competition the expectation are more high than ever so we decided to rise the bar even more and for these week's challenge we have the wondrous theme of   #CrashingFuneralsLookingForDrinks .....

Best Picture of the Week: Well this is actually surprising...... who won this gravy price was not Mr Saketboards it was Lateisha Dickeens... The bitchy skills inside of Lateisha defiantly help her turn that funeral into a party and take the best picture ever with everyone dancing in rage of her.... Well it was that or the lack of concurrence ...

Scandals: 1.Right before the photo shoot Mr Saketboards yield very loudly: ''The meaning of life is skateboards, squares and also 42''  and then mystically disappeared in random fog on the background .... WEIRD 

                 2.Marlenni Marlck felt so overshadow for the bitchiness of Lateisha and sick of being in second place... he threatens to kill her with a spoon and some tooth brush ... Unfortunately for our ratings he actually didn't got to kill her because Marlenni got distracted with one random pony felling from the sky in the distance ...

                3. Einstan believing that monsters dwell in his closet created a explosive pony to obliterate the unwanted ... leaving the food cooking meanwhile crafting the pony .... and the food turned out to be explosive and all.... long story short he end up in the hospital with some sever burns ...

 Double Elimination:

Only the best of the best... The skunky of the skunkier are left but unfortunately we can only have one winner so today we will have to say goodbye to two of our precious contested (by the way don't you find weird the amount of people that have just runaway from the show)...

 The first to go home is Mr Saketboars and yes I guess we all are surprised... he clearly was born to win this but it seems that Saketboards find a higher purpose in life... he's level of clearness about the world is clearly in other stage...  

The second and always second  Marlenni Marlck is also leaving us to night ... his photo-shot was deplorable.... he started crying every where and fell into a tumb ... sorry you just not meant to be the next Ugliest Next Skunk Alive.... 

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UNSA-ROUND 4

Well this is embracing... the producers invested the show money on this invisible ink pencil project and now we only have money for nearly 3 episodes ... With this in mind the banished #deathTrials are finally back .... Yeih Exciting ... For now one or contests don't only have to take the best picture they also have to survive to or demands...

 And for this absurdly astonishing new #deathTrials, in this week, round 4, we got the jumping from the abyss with a broken parachute trial .... heaiiii!!!!

Best Picture of the Week: Well this is getting awkward somehow Mr Saketboards takes home the best picture .... welll surprise surprise .... but who had thought crying while falling was the answer for beauty ... and he also escape death with just a few broken limbs .... Good for him .... Good - for - him.....

Scandals: 1. Most of the cast had a major freaked out... when they understood the death part of the #death trials ... But we just had to chlorophyll them no struggle....

                  2. Uncle Bones won the Guinness record of the skinniness bitch a live and hide the money wined away from us coz we are cray cray for money ... So we kindly killed him in the torturer chamber. trying getting that peasant into telling where is the juice .... I mean money the lack of money puts anyone insane.... 

                  3. When Creisha Butts heard the news of Mrs Butterfiles... the news of well... him being... dead... coz well.. the trials and ... is not technically murder ok they choose to be on our show they know the consequences .... well kinda?.... but the point is she went to live in cave for the rest of there short short life ...                  4. And also we blame the deaths on Sarry Sotter... And the police passed by to lock him up this morning ... in our testmony we said  '' He cray cray... you see Sarry was trying to see if the others could fly in brooms like on Harry Potter ... cough ... cough ... we are so sad....''

Exclusion:                         Sadly today we say goodbye to Creisha Butts and Mrs Butterfiles and also Sarry Sotter and I guess also Uncle Bones that twat.... We need the money okay help us buy more just one Ferrari if possible ... a and yes ... They wont be the next Ugliest Next Skunk Alive.... Specially you Uncle Bones ... 

tee he...

bye bye

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UNSA-ROUND 3

Three for must people considered the most perfect number ever invented.... And in UNSA round number 3 we sure won’t leave this tradition behind ... So we have for this #perfect round the most perfect and glamorous theme of #AvangartDolphinSwimmingInTheTubOfMiddleClassHotel (the producers wanted to buy a boat for themselves so we are short in our money now)...

  Best photo of the week goes to: Mr Saketboards!!!! He is really ruling this season aint him ... With this odd kinda way he toke the dolphin spotlight and crushed into or mints with the buckets of colors spieling it on the tub with such #graciousMOVEMENTS  .... 

 Scandals: 1. Catrak was very disturbed with the idea of entering a tub full of water with dolphin... And run out of hotel ''miuing'' for never been seen again but I bet we will news of her by the paparazzi soon ...

                  2.Eintstain caused a communion because he mistake Ms Crabs with his dinner... and bit her on the foot ..... he is now being held in the poison department for what seems....cough ... cough... Mr Crabs foots are deadly... 

                  3.Creisha Butts was caught stealing Mr Butterfiles panties and used napkins... but she instead of admitting liking Mr Butterfiles she said that she was kleptomaniac instead...  

Exclusion: Unfortunately today we have to say goodbye to Catarack Obama.... we couldn't keep chasing her in the streets she is to sneaky and we aint got a clue where she went ....So Catarack Obama you wont be the Ugliest Next Skunk Alive... And if you are hidden in one of those garbage cans could you just get out already...

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UNSA-ROUND 2

Two is always better than one right..... Welcome to the second and better round of this cycle where our cast is traveling deep to the woods of New New New Jersey to make the darkest #Emo photo shot ever ....  The new and super innovative them for our photos today are: ''SUPERNATURAL DUMB CREATURES #WAKEUPLIKETHIS''

Best photo of the week goes to: Mr Saketboards AGAIN!!! we don't know exactly what supernatural dumb creature he was dressed up as but he was damn #BEAUTZ with all his straight lines and flat chess ....   If he keeps this rate of high competition shit I don't see how the other's will surpass him ... Let's be real by now Mr Saketboards is like god...

 Scandals: 1. Catrak let his cat spirit run free and scratched the hell out of the curtains of there temporary apartment and also slept besides the heaven because it was warmer than the her bed....

              2. Romenia toke the photo shot theme way to serious, her quarter vampire and quarter werewolf emerged and she attacked the photographs .... don't hurry though photographs are replaceable not cast members muhahahhahahaha(so mean)

            3.Sarry Sotter burned down the whole building of apartments where they were staying trying to make a omelet .... So I guess those scratches on the curtains don't matter anymore ...

Exclusion: This time who goes home is Romenia we just can afford attacks like that ... The money that we would spend finding another photographer willing to take pictures of you Romenia would be outrageous ... Sorry ... You wont be the next Ugliest Next Skunk Alive....

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UNSA-ROUND 1

 In our very first round of this glorious season of UNSA, your so beloved competitors will be going to the beach of New New New Jersey to a photo shot with the most popular now day's between stars theme : '' SEXY DOLPHIN, WANNABE''

 Best photo of the week goes to: Mr Saketboards surprise everyone with his unusual square appearance and unbeatable sex-apply... So he toke home the best picture of the week  ...

 Scandals: 1. Lateisha released her inner bitch and started a fight with Romenia about a bad looking pineapple and a super bouncy yo-yo

           2. Niggllia Pepperoni went all diva mode on the photo shot and didn't want to take photos coz the theme was too normal and had a lot of skin exposure ... And also demanded five kittens to keep her warm and order 13 pizzas without pepperoni...  

           3. Marlenni Marlck caused 7 car accidents while waking down the streets... the victims stated: ''T

HAT SCARF IS WAY TO CUTE, PROVOCATIVE AND DISTRACTING ....''

Exclusion: Unfortunately today we have to say goodbye to Niggllia Pepperoni... She will be sent home because we didn't had a photo of her.... to evaluation her kawaiiness.... Niggllia Pepperoni you wont be the Ugliest Next Skunk Alive... But you have great future ahead of you with kittens ...

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Ugliest Next Skunk Alive- UNSA Cycle: 89666#Flawless%Explosion2

Today we meet or 12 competitors... That will win the trip of their lives too New New New Jersey + Ebola...

  You know the drill by now we have 12 contests but only one can be the Ugliest Next Skunk Alive...

 After 23798237984623984987293847 other cycles ... this one will be far the craziest one.... And we promise that ''the incident'' on the 123123124#NOFILTER cycle doesn't reaped again... Hmpf.. Cough...cough

   Let the show begin...

Name:Uncle Bones

Age:435

Sex:Male

Blood Type:+O

Height: 1,50m

Description: By far the skinniest person alive, well that's at least what he told us. We don't know for sure if he is actually alive, or is actually that skinny, but because of the lac of competitors we had to admit him on the contest ... He comes to break some bones...

Name: Romenia Crayana

Age:27

Sex:Female

Blood Type: +AB

Height:1,60

Description: She believes that she is a a quarter vampire, a quarter werewolf, a quarter human and a quarter alien since she was child. Has pretty questionable hobbies like killing persons and masochist sexual activities... 

She comes to drain all the blood out of this competition...

Name: Sarry Sotter

Age: 14

Sex: Male

Blood Type: +B

Height:1,40

Description: He loves all kind of witchcraft related things and hates when is mistaken by Harry Potter that's why he did let the mustache grow and painted his nose... This strange oddly little fella has a sense of fashion though and never leaves his hat behind...

He comes to the competition because of the free food...

Name: Lateisha Dickeens

Age:46

Sex:Female

Blood Type: -AB

Height:1,99

Description: This BIG BIG woman ( a giant even ) has won a contest, previously, for the nº 1 bitch in earth...   She is temperamental, arrogant and obnoxious ... A true outlaw - really hard to handle ... But that voluptuous lips almost compensate for all that... almost .... She comes to the show, and I quote '' HOW TO PARTY WITH SKINNY ASS BITCHES ''

Name: Marlenni Marlck

Age: 23

Sex: Male

Blood Type: +B

Height:1,79

Description: This deformed young men is truly convinced that if he wins this contest he will be proving a point to Lateisha.... That he is in fact, the nº 1 bitch and not her ... With he's cute scarf he promises to destroy his opponents... He comes to the contest to quote '' Obliterate Lateisha once it for all...''

Name: Mr Saketboards

Age: 25

Sex: Male

Blood Type: +O

Height:1,50

Description: This mysterious cubic men that also looks like monkey decided by himself applying to the competition... What's strange since we kinda force everyone else to apply ... cough cough ... I mean ... I said nothing.. We don't know for sure why he is here though, because he only talks about his love for skateboards...

Name: Catarack Obama

Age: 23

Sex: Female

Blood Type:+ B

Height:1,63

Description: This well renamed worldwide, cult lieder, influential celebrity that breaks boundaries everyday  is in our show after we leaved her 60 death threats voice mails ... She thinks that is cat since puberty... And she comes to the show to quote ''Prrrrr'' 

Name: Eintstain ?

Age: 122

Sex: Male

Blood Type: +AB

Height:1,14

Description: We need it smart people on the contest so we thought that resurrect Einstein would be a good idea ... Like Frankenstein shit ... But the thing went wrong... how wrong... a lot wrong.... He keeps insisting his name is Eintstain and when we checked his QI is equivalent of an ant ....

He comes to the contest to quote '' Bring the sassy back!!! here''

Name: Ms Crabs

Age: 12

Sex: Female

Blood Type: +A

Height:1,69

Description: This terrific scary slut ... Just come out of jail and is on a social rehabilitation program. One of the prerequisites to end this program is appear on nation television ... And how they were offering money to keep her long story short we got 100 dollars just like pufff...She comes to the show to kill the concurrence... 

Name: Mr Butterfiles

Age: 23

Sex: Male

Blood Type: +B

Height: 4,00m

Description: You may remember Mr Butterfiles from a old show called ''Look to this triangular baby, for half hour!!!'' he was quiet amazing playing that principal role and only role... He even was nominated for and Emy... He didn't win that Emy but he is her to win a even more prestigious price ....

Name: Creisha Butts

Age: 17

Sex: Female

Blood Type: -B

Height: 1,79m

Description: The stalker number one of Mr Butterflies is here to make the first step on there relationship... 

Aint this so romantic ... Well we think so since we trick her to giving us all her money  for a private bedroom to her and Butterfiles....

She comes to quote '' Get the buddy of Butterfiles...''' 

(totally ship those two)

Name: Niggllia Pepperonni

Age: 15

Sex: Female

Blood Type: -O

Height: 1,32m

Description: This young lady had a car accident and had to be operated on the brain... We were in this charity vibe so we decided to joined her in ....How kind of us... Did I mention she is cheerleader ... And she is always with her pompoms ...shaking them....Seriously she has problems... Anyway she is her  to quote ''pompomp the hell out everything''

 ------There's 12 contests but only one can be the next UNSA-----

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5 Ways to Kill Your Maths Teacher – Helpful Guide too Concerned Students (PART5)

5Plan-

  Hire a professional killer from craigslist...

  I know wut they say money doesn’t grow on trees...

   But you know wut people just don’t know how easy really is to get money...

  YOU JUST HAVE TO STEAL FROM A BANK ...

 you could try and ask for loan but I think they wouldn’t quite accept the excuse of ‘’ I have a math teacher, and I need to get rid of her’’...

So how exactly do you steal from the big bad wolf .... easy pizz

Every time and again there’s a lady with red long skirt who comes and demands to open her safe in person...

 she is extremely distracted especially around mirrors....

so while in the bank bathroom... when she is mesmerized with her own reflection...

 you sneak into her skirt and slowly move with the lady till the safes zone...

 there you get out,

 but only when the guards leave,

 and take as much as you can and quickly return to the safety of the skirts without she even realizing...

attention, you can only do this if you are in national bank and not on a private ...

 because everyone knows on national banks they always leave the safes open so they can take the money of their associators more easily ...

 When you are out of range you finally leave the skirt, again, and lastly.

Now you can pay that killer from craigslist ... And all of your problems will go way ...

 and with luck you still have enough money to buy sushi

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5 Ways to Kill Your Maths Teacher – Helpful Guide too Concerned Students (PART4)

4Plan-

Create a very loyal homicidal cult, call the cult AlphaAgainstMaths.

 To brain wash persons:

 First, in your speech you should include super relatable things but not too much, coz after that you want them to believe you as a supreme god...

 If you are having a problem finding an audience try using tumblr...

 It’s gonna be easy there.... don’t worry... since there are so much young

Influential

 fresh mints to mess with...

 Agreed to super secret meeting,

 your wardrobe should be a good place to the council,

try doing also some rituals with chicken blood...

you know...

just to create the stage,

 and mention the unholyness.... of your math teacher...

 When your cult members start to grow exponentially,

make a public speech about the need of executing, the sinner,

 the teacher,

 the math teacher,

 your math teacher...

Then you can just sit and wait ...

 your minions will do the rest for you....

 gladly....

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5 Ways to Kill Your Maths Teacher – Helpful Guide too Concerned Students (PART3)

3Plan-

Everyone knows teachers are ugly witches like the ones of ‘’Wizard of Oz’’, so bring a bucket of water from home, open slightly the door of the classroom before the target initiates the entry, put the bucket over it and wait...

If your teacher doesn’t dissolve on it ...

Take advantages of the moment and throw her out of the window ...

 And if someone asks wut happen, you just say she slipped on a random pool of water...

Destroy all the prove you can before the police arrives ...

“I don’t think we are in Kansas anymore”

 Good luck...

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5 Ways to Kill Your Maths Teacher – Helpful Guide too Concerned Students (PART2)

2Plan

Uff that was a lot of work to elaborate... and my maths teacher aint deserving that so the next 4 will be so much shorter...

 So during class your teacher will bring something to drink while watching you suffer uncovering the sadistic problems that she previously gave you ... Right ... 

  Then..

 Look up on the internet deadly poisons with crazy painful effects...

It’s entertaining to say the least...

 And make that poison...

But of course... you will probably fail to obtain all of the shady ingredients...

For that I have another solution...

 You just have to take closure look at your class mates...

and..

 yes you already must be looking at that shady, dangerous looking,

 weird,

 probably mentally unstable,

 with crazy eyes kid ...

 yes ...

 yes...

 that kid you would never talk too or neither approach with the fear of being stabbed...

looks like he search poisons on the internet for entertainment in his spare time... yeah he probably does ..

 And I know this because how...

Coz I’m probably that person yes I’m in your class surprise ...

I’m actually everywhere...

 You just go and freaking talk with this psychopath ...

And if you make out alive...

he will get you wut you need...

plus if you say that is to kill someone....

he won’t charge you...

and will help you with the whole process of making the goodie ...

 how fun ... fun ... fun ... fun ...

 IF YOU TRESURE YOU LIVE DONT QUESTION WHAT HE IS DOING

 After that you just wait till a dumb classmate of yours, who demands unequal attention, to distract the teacher, and quickly sneak the poison on to the bottle.

 Enjoy the show my dear you deserve it ... If you don’t have any morals you can also try and record it....

I guess...

 it would become viral on youtube...

and you... just... could... you know.... be rich and stuff... 

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5 Ways to Kill Your Maths Teacher – Helpful Guide to Concerned Students (PART1)

Are you having problems with math?

Are you having problems with maths exams?

Are you having problems creating street-creed?

Do you have problems realizing why maths exists in first place?

Is your maths teacher secretly a James Bond villain who is trying to destroy your life?

Or are you just bored, with homicidal thought’s, scared, horney and sad all at the same time?

You came to the right place ... yeahh... here is all the advice you will ever need... if you... just.... want to see the world burn...

Or at least, just your maths teacher...

 I have commitment next Sunday...

So, I can’t explain how to burn the whole world... well... for now...

 You see....It would be a great inconvenience for me...

1Plan-

Do you maths teacher owns secretly a pet store ... NO.... what shame... coz mine does...

and this plan would be very helpful for you, if she does ...

  So first you will need to ‘’somehow’’ figure out her schedule...

 When she comes out of their house,

brushes her teeth,

 washes her dishes,

 goes to the pet store,

 thinks about psychological issues,

 and creates evil brain bombs called exams for you...

Pretty standard stuff as you can clearly see... but don’t worry...

Probably the creepy janitor on your school must know all about that... don’t ask anything about how she or he knows about it, though....

 Because is on janitor secret cult stated as high rule to never release the font of the information ...

 he or she will try to brag the information for 80 dollars but here is tip... they have really low standards... if you push them really far they will give you the information for free and also money for your launch ...

 After this you mite wanna consider taking a deep breath ...

I mean you got to breath .. And enjoy that launch ...

Well now you have this already under your control... you will need someone to put the blames in...

   This is really easy too ... in every school there’s always that student who already has a big car ... let’s say big enough to fit a bunch of cats and dogs while a certain pet store burns down with a certain teacher...

   And this student that appears sociable is in reality a loner and is craving for every bit of attention he can have...

 So you know is easy to find out where he parks his car

 let’s say next Friday afternoon, perfect time and place to prepare a fire...

   Take a coffee and some biscuits, and wait till Friday...

   Friday, you gonna use your best outfit.... and it’s gonna be black for sure...

 not to appear like every other criminal...

 no...

no...

 you wear that black with pride....

 you have to make a statement of how better than everyone else you are that day...

 Because let’s face it... if you gonna kill some bitchs you better look great while you are at it....

 Now you just have to do as it follows to achieve your goals with maximum success:

 1)Take the gasoline of your recently new friends car,

without anybody noticing,

store it somewhere safe,

 a bomb experimenting area should be fine....

 2) Distract the employ of the pet store saying

 ‘’I saw a fluffy cat playing piano on the next mall’’

 3) While the employ is gone, it’s time to enslave old people to your well being,

just let the old-grannies-with-5-minute-short-memory do your work for you,

 by saying you need to transport the animals to your

 ‘’friends car’’

to a so quote on quote

‘’check out on the veterinary’’...

they will help you for sure...

If you are in need of old grannies.... just track a nearby park and there should be around 5 or 4 of there.... feeding the pigeons...     

 4) After the elderly exploitation, you just will spread the gasoline like butter in the floor of the specific pet store...

5) Wait till the target arrives, then when they are inside of the store....

 you just...

 you know...

 burn the whole place down ...

you can take advantage of this by bringing some corn

and making some popcorn with the help of the fire ... then I think you will enjoy sitting in save distance watching your teacher burning along with the once called store

 6) Good luck running from the police... after that...

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October, 6 Thursday

Today, I was petrified in fear... on the bus ...or should I call it cart of suffering, that lead us all to the house of horror (school)...

   I was so scared coz they changed our driver and this one is a bit peculiar... I mean the question is how the hell we didn’t had run over some old lady or santa claus or crashed into some random building like the white house ...  He was driving like mad so

CNOSDBLJUBGIHYSVXYTCucluYYLyliiyhvYHCVUGTcytDUhyyhufhlhjhjHC.....JNÇOLHhioh------OIHÇIOHÇ

and I was

 IUHJÇIJSDLÇJKBSFKBKJSDBFNMDBVC

And then it happened finally

wefoihweoifhiuGUYyluiyluIYVFUYVUYF

it was so great but the best of all

UBILUBGIUiubUIUBiububiubiubIBUIUBIUB  

  Author note: That girl lost her diary while brushing her teeth in front of big ass mirror... She went looking everywhere for him ... even posted posters in every damn street of the town offering as 11110000000 $ reward...

 Needless to say the diary was never found again...EVER.

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October, 3 Monday

Today I went shopping with my big and round friend Marballs... We went to ‘’PINE-COURT-BALL-SHOPPING-THAT-IT-MITE-NOT-BE-SHOPPING-BUT-A-PLACE-WHERE-DRUG-DEALERS-HANG-OUT-DONT-CALL-THE-COPS-SHOPPING’’ I know, big name, but its the best god damn shopping mall around...

There I found out something completely stunning and obscene or whatever obscene means ... That is necessary two sheep to make one female thong, I didn’t freaking knew sheep could sew...

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September, 28 Wednesday

In this morning I felt so........ Inspired....

 So I decided to do the unthinkable what never man in this case woman has never ever done before... like small step for men big step for humanity kind of deal...

I have written HIM a magnificent letter...

Well technically is not properly a letter, I was with no paper, you see, so I just used a yellow-fluorescent post-it and I added a lot of smiles and hearts to cover that fact....   

‘’My dear HIM: <3 I need you a lot <3 you like my dentureJ...

 And even with the great distance that keep us apart (like almost half ward away), and this very slim wall, through each I never stop hearing your tuned little squeezes, that for me sound just like angels singing in the middle of super catastrophic storm like a storm big as Texas... ;)’’

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September, 22 Thursday

Your own amulet: Something from the boy you like. Try to get your love one to give you something of his belongings like bracelet and use that always. That way you will attract the cupids’ arrow.

   I follow yet again this advice ... Btw I actually take all this advices from magazines on display in my local convenience store... I never really buy the magazines in question that would be a waste...

Anyway in my Gym class, I the greatest spy that ever existed, sneak into the primates’ locker room, disguised as sexually frustrated housewife... And on entering I barely stumbled into mountain of shi*, I mean it was only dirty laundry but it was so unbridled that my eyes were watering...

But then I read the name tag and I super great detective much better than anyone else realized that the filthy clothes were from HIM...

Suddenly the smell fades and I see myself reaching to steal his underwear...

 I will never ever ever again be separated from this... I can now even smell the luck in my way just around the corner I mean from his underwear same thing...