greyshadesofvoice - Tumblr blog

[greyshadesofvoice]

S**

Licking your vertically slit ,clit.

Juices running down my lips dripps

Making you quiver tears, my stick, shift.

passionately with you long, length ,width.

yes, that's all I want; that,

Eye contact binded contract.

Hands around your neck, check.

You contracting my neck, in affect

whispering moaning my name, I cum, eject.

Yes, it's all I want, Yes, yes.

Getting repetitive yes, yes, yes.

Asking to give you some rest.

Just trying to treasure the chest,

making me so erect.

Being close with you is best.

We begin pillow talking in depth

Just a moment, catching our breath.

Reminiscing on the times that lead.

You stealing kisses and pecks,

I hope you're ready to settle the debt.

You want an encore of this session, I guess.

Only if you insist I'll express.

On to what you'd expect,next.

Doing this with love ,lest we forget.

Doing it with dominance, knowing you'll submit.

Doing it with feeling, our feelings reflect.

Doing this with passion, it's more than just..

[greyshadesofvoice]

Favorite Place

Find myself missing the sounds you make.

certain that none of them were fake.

Find myself missing your laugh.

Realizing I've found my other half.

Find myself missing those words you speak.

Didn't think it was something I'd seek.

Find myself missing your lips.

look at me reviewing the clips.

I've been lost but not in this space.

I've been lost but not drifting at this pace.

I've been lost, but not back at these gates

I've been lost, but to my surprise there she waits.

Didn't think coming back to you would be my favorite place.

[greyshadesofvoice]

Waking Play

Just another day , just another day.

Waking to this routine I can't ever sway.

Working us machines to make a way.

Win win either way it's all cliche.

We all pay in some way, we all have a role in this play.

Just another day, just another day.

Waking to this routine but today I'll stay.

Drained from socials , social working days.

Today I'll stay in bed , wasting away.

Exhausted from the act and play so I isolate and cast away.

just another day , just another day.

waking to this practice I find myself say.

Am I waiting for the end in some way.

Counting these passing days.

Waiting for freedom that I wouldn't know what to do with anyway.

So the curtain up again starts the waking play.

just another day , just another day.

[greyshadesofvoice]

Puzzle Necklace

Every time I fall I lose a part of myself..

For a while I didn't really put any thought into why I wear you.

Not always displayed but somehow always close to my chest.

Here you'll stay around my neck everyday.

I wear this piece to find my peace.

The day it was given to me, was in a box.

A package of love and wonder sent by the girl I've been recently fondling. An unexpected surprise, it was full of gifts for me.

Great, but the one that stood out was you.

With a note that spoke words ,that became my truth.

I'm that missing part of you.

Its symbolism rang true ,I didn't even realize I was the missing part of a puzzle too.

Wandering about trying to find a place to fit.

Building borders the ones you always start with,

But that center was empty, you being that reminder of the myth.

"You're the symbol of the peace I'm seeking"

I'm sinking,drowning from the need for it, chaining me.

I'm drifting into a dream wanting to be a piece of someone's something, change me.

Ready to stop over thinking,

go headless with no fear reckless.

Discovering that peace before I'm breathless.

Why do you wear this?

Well not everyone knows this ,but finding love has always been my focus.

I've seen first hand that that is where hope is.

Yeah I know that happily ever after stuff is bogus, but that's the kind of love that provokes us.

That sensation swarming our body like locus.

it chokes us in its hold in some ways, controlling us

I was missing a part of me.

That piece means something to me.

I didn't need it to find peace.

I discovered that peace is inside me.

"I wear it because it reminds me."

[greyshadesofvoice]

Seasons

I fell for her in the summer.

I admit I'm alway the one to fall,

I descend down and add to the pile.

I've fallen many times.

Everything dies in the fall,

But I harvest love, taking as much of it as I can.

It keeps me warm in the coming winters.

When the wintertide arrives, love can be cold.

That's when it puts my fall to the test.

It can be so dark and trying.

But I always rise again in spring.

That's when true love really blossoms.

Something I haven't found yet.

Putting the blame on my adolescence.

Guess you could say I've never been warm.

Maybe that's why I always fall in the summer.

[greyshadesofvoice]

Burning incense.

Burning incense to release my tenses.

letting the intense scent affect my senses.

Hesitating, I know what comes, I'm whencing.

Breathing deep because the deeper I go, the pain immenses.

Burn away the incense, trying to come senses

The light burns dim, kind of like my innocence.

Putting my fences up, my defenses hiding away my contents.

Hoping time will heal the smell of guilt ,while I'm in suspense.

A penny is to pay for your thoughts , that's cheap cents.

My mind is worth much more than that expense, no offense.

Burning incense is a numbing experience.

Floating away feelings disappearing.

Quieting that noise jerring.

inhale exhale consciousness clearing.

Even for a moment escaping the problems I'm fearing.

incense burnt piled to ash.

reflecting how quick time has passed.

Why do all my favorite moments never last?

[greyshadesofvoice]

Tragic

Unexplained like magic.

A fantastical erratic journey where we find ourselves in a perfect story.

In search of glory but I'm only in it to keep you around my territory.

You to myself with no worries.

an enigmatic man turning addict.

Making you my habit. Being around you in practice. Keep things active, having to adapt to the changing facts.

Changing time and evolving changing mind.

Being with you spellbind.

Girl, my love for you is blind.

A love life's cinematic.

Wish I knew how to quit you.

A lot of girls in the ocean blue , but I find myself always coming back to you.

Obsessed with You.

I love you , I love you , I love you.

Love starting traffic.

You are still not tired of me?

Always being the key to my lock.

I'm living carefree, and you're my rock.

No longer at sea I'm docked.

The unexplained Magic

Turning myself to an enigmatic addict.

Living in my love life cinematic.

You in my mind cause all this traffic.

I'm not complaining because our love is beautifully tragic.

[greyshadesofvoice]

Change

Racing my mind chasing away these negative thoughts of mine.

Having trouble keeping pace with all the things I say. I've said over time.

broken promises, goals , and hearts alike.

driving my emotions to strike.

So they ain't working and I can't express.

This stoic nature only leaves others to guess.

Have you regressed, feel less, in distress?  Yes.

All I do is compress, so no need to press.

I can't stand attention so I'm okay.

Aje can't afford not to be okay.

I'll sway all the help away , why  jay?

I'll never say ,and take that to my last day.

Yes and I know that's not the way.

When did these poems turn to me writing pain away?

When did drawing start feeling like work?

When did falling in love start feeling like a joke?

I really need to wake up from this nap mentality.

Find a way out of my head's trapped reality.

I don't mean to mask all these feelings I got.

I don't want to talk about the demons I fought.

I'll just continue to write to continue the plot.

Write down the pain whether I want to or not.

Is there a new horizon in sight?

Will I ever get this right?

Strip away the gray and night.

Cast these shadows and embrace my light.

I don't know.

But I can't continue to live the way that I do.

I need to break away these chains.

I'm scared of change.

I can't stay the same.

[greyshadesofvoice]

[greyshadesofvoice]

IDK The Truth

Two years ago I started cutting off energies that didn't sit with me.

Three years ago I was praying for death because I didn't deserve my life.

Four years ago I was looking for validation trying to justify my existence.

in the present trying to heal from my past tenses.

throughout my past I've faced many Instances. This life has taken me many distances.

Over the years I've written my feelings in sentences.

cause I'm still trying to find the meaning of what existence is?

My persistence is unwavered I come to find it's my only mission.

Focus on your purpose and do what feels right.

At times that feels right.

other times I'm not sure what's right.

so sometimes I go left.

Then I guess we just keep making these choices till there's none left.

Do I continue to live the way I do?

Or is my way flawed and should live like the rest of you?

[greyshadesofvoice]

Aje's Delights 1

Let's go back to the past, to a memory delight.

back to before I was anointed a knight.

back before I even had demons to fight.

flashing back to a moment ,the birth of my light.

As a kid I didn't think as deeply as I do now.

As a kid I was very impatient, something I have tons of now.

I remember asking mom when we were leaving because the others were already gone.

I stayed behind because I wanted to stay with mom. I made my choice wrong. waiting for mom thinking to myself" i didn't think she would take this long". I go to find her to help move her along.

I quickly found she wasn't ready. She was getting my little brother steady. fussing and crying, she's struggling to get him to calm. even realizing this I still shout" mom!"

"Why are you not dressed ,I'm already set?"

"in second, sweetie, cool your jets."

not the answer i wanted, but accepted it .

Then she hands me my brother.

Something that I wasn't foreign to. held him up right and tight like I usually do.

Then suddenly.Just like that my brother stopped crying. and is quiet.

To my mom's surprise and to my shock. I just looked into his small eyes distraught. Those chestnut brown orbs staring into mine.

In a suspended state. Not realizing at the time that my connection with him was created.

That a promise with him was conconsecrated. As long as I exist I'll protect him. As long as I live I'll watch over him.

At the same time another promise was made on top of mine.

Soon enough he'd be the one saving me from hell but that's another tale to tell.

Continuing on to this story.

Stopping my brother's tears and my mom's stresses turn to no worrries.

So then she sent me away." I'll be ready in just a moment okay"

Alone with my brother now. his gaze never leaving mine. heading to the living room now. Finding his eyes still fixed on mine. catch myself staring into his. Although not for another couple years exchanged were not possible, but we were able to communicate with each other. That's my brother. then with that understanding and comfort. those brown eyes covered. my little light falling asleep peacefully.

[greyshadesofvoice]

Confession 3

Forgive me father for I have never been..

Forgive me father for I haven't been..

Forgive me father for I gave up on them.

Forgive my father for living for them.

[greyshadesofvoice]

Sidewalk

strangers teaching me indirect lessons.

directing me towards different directions.

I've been on the sidelines too long walking ,pedestrian.

while it feels like everyone is driving by till we meet and cross sections.

We both wait at the stop.

That's when I go into thought.

I've been stuck here a lot.

then it's time to go and walk whether I'm ready or not.

They stuck at the red light.

I go on white.

only time I'm ahead of them.

Then it hits green and they take flight.

The sidewalks never fail me, always lead the way.

always pushing me forward it doesn't sway.

at least most days.

others somehow they lead me astray.

I'm left wondering if drivers feel the same.

going as fast as they do they ever lose aim.

do they take different routes or are they all the same.

do they ever get lost like me in this life game.

[greyshadesofvoice]

CW MiMiC Mix

Why does everybody hate me? What am I Chris?

Guess they don't know about this ?

the beginning of my epic spit.

Start of my Cw bit.

Coming up with bars,

Detect clues like Mar's wit.

Ok I'll stop the sermon they hungry get to serving

aye,

May be poverty stricken, but my spirit rich.

I may not be a woman, but I'm a charmed one witch.

I may not be a Winchester ,but I'm a hunter bitch.

I'm saying I'm supernatural and I can flip it like a switch.

Cutting off my emotions when feeling too heavy.

turning like Stefan going ripper, hold that neck steady.

Draining every ounce of blood, are you dead already?

Dancing round in this red crimson is bloody merry.

Yeah,

Cry out for someone to save you, but Superman ain't around. It's a smallville.

He failed this city and its people as well.

Maybe call the Arrow. or that other hero.

Or maybe black lighting a canceled zero.

Stopped,

4 seasons short but I survived.

Runnin outta crisis, the fastest man alive.

That speed streak making girls weak.

in a flash running pass not even at my peak.

look into my eyes,

Compelling you to listen to me when I speak.

I'm an original with legacies. my lifes unique.

Over thousands of years old, a legend of tomorrow.

Traveled across the world in this time machine I borrowed.

Heck,

Read it in my vampire diary. check that Gossip Girl.

Tell all your Girlfriends down at Riverdale.

You'll catch me at Pop's been hanging there a lot.

Anyone that knows me knows that's the spot.

Woo,

when rhyming like this it's just practice not The Game.

Yet I'm killing these punch lines and references all the same.

Boom,

Make me the villain with my origin in gotham.

infamous for shooting Jim and Harvey dropped them.

Along with another 100 bodies ,I got them.

Stepping up to me will always give you the bloodiest outcome.

Yo,

I'm the alpha ,dom, but if you wanna be on top

That's supergirl.

Ride on top, then top me ,Jane ain't no virgin girl.

She loves giving brains. She's my-zombie.

She swallows it fast , changing her perso-nality.

Breaking necks brutality, killing causally, perpetrator of these fatalities. is the era of my Dynasty.

My Reign of destruction can't be compared.

My riches go beyond wealth and billionaires.

Still killing it in my suit and tie like Chuck Bass.

Only fresh and fit girls illuminate me, oh dat ass.

She's the top model, the kind you can't duplicate.

you shining the brightest baby, my star girl always up to the plate, up to Bat-woman.

You are a wonder woman , good thing I'm a player.

Can't settle on one girl in the world even Buffy the slayer.

Come here Sabrina let me work that magic on you.

Ditch that boy Harvey, your aunties here too.

Puting y'all to bed, make you the scream queens.

Girls let's make this a thing, a fucking routine.

Getting nothing but sex in this city.

Any girls are welcome as long as they're pretty.

Even when they are little liars.

just those lips are required.

Ha

[greyshadesofvoice]

Void Ch.4

No Current

Falling so fast I'm beyond mistakes.

Falling so rapid I'm making misplays of my next phase.

Falling like crazy, burning wings, losing all grace.

Crashing hard feeling like a pavement, splashing into the Abyss bay.

Welcome to the abyss bay.

Come lay with us bae.

We all float down here.

So just drift and enjoy your stay.

Yes, stay, keep drifting on.

all your worries begone,

just drift along, here in this pond.

"Yes yes my worries are gone, I'll extend my stay long, oh there's nothing wrong. troubles move past me just drift along."

Yeah it's quiet here where the whisperers disappear.

Time flies here, we just hang here for years.

Everyone lies here in this pond filled with tears.

"Yes, I'll be fine here.

No static here.

Yes, I'm ok here.

No pain here…"

I'm not alive here.

I'm petrified with fear.

I need a savior if anyone is near.

There's no current in a thick pond of tears.

[greyshadesofvoice]

Void Ch.3

The Static

You'll never be good enough.

just suck it up and be tough.

you're a pushover. move.

just weak and cowardly too ,you know i speak the truth.

No, I'm begging you to listen , just let me talk to you.

I'm shouting through the static. my words and feelings can't come through.

Been screaming for days. something must be missing. been crying out so long. yet you only hear the whisperers.

The void is thick, numbing your pain in its mixture.

Blocking my voice out and hiding my message.

Oh, Don't worry you'll be okay just push them and all that pep talk away.

they won't understand your feeling either way, bundle it up bury it deep inside the abyss bay.

you'll be okay you'll be okay.

Your agony is just a parody. you're the star of this play.

a tragedy so sad it's a comedy. Calling it The Fall of Aje.

Hope isn't gone, you can't be serious. Those people love you just ask if you're curious. speak out please! Something is wrong. stay here too long and you'll never see the truth. forget the dark past of your youth.

Life is a struggle but you can make it through.

lies you tell. you know you're condemned to hell.

four walls of steel cell, it's okay you know it well.

sit anchored deep inside this well. with nothing but time to think and dwell.

spiral down the enchanting spell.

so low down no one can hear you yell.

they can't hear you well.

Hear me well, no one is coming to save you.

It's too late now so go ahead and dig deeper.

tunneling in the void what's the difference just a bit steeper. it's getting easier, it's easier.

You have to listen.

Your stories still need to be written.

You have to listen.

Your soul is worth redemption.

you have to listen…

Shut up, shut up with these voices I've had it.

these voices in my attic. building up metal traffic. I can't hear the good through the static. So I'm falling for the magic. numbing my pain in practice. I have no hope . It's tragic..

This angel is falling rapid.

[greyshadesofvoice]

Void Ch.2

New trends

Going after trends again and again.

let's pretend, let's pretend.

that the trends mend the void I'm in.

When will it end, will it ever end.

Swiping left for hours is my new pastime.

addicted to the phone chime alternating text these lines. coaxing my case till they're rightfully mine. getting numbers lines, last four digits five , one, eight ,nine. A sign of the times, getting booty calls without even trying.

Getting addicted I'm greedy.

I can't get enough of it, I'm needy.

animal beastly , fucking briefly.

pleasing her deeply ,then finished the treaty.

Then on to the next dame, my days are going on the same.

Then with time to spend, maybe I'll buy a game. Spending my money is easy when it covers up pain. oh is that another indie game. I'll just buy it all the same. Especially when the sales arrive, the timing is to blame.

Another action R-P-G?

"Can I give my character a name please? forgetting myself for a moment, peace.

It's easy to escape the pain and release.

At least with games no one can leave.

Finding another way with this immersive play.

Masking the pain addicted to games.

No, I'm addicted to the medicine numbing the pain.

Following trends . I'm stuck in a bend.

When will it end, will it ever end.

Freeing my mind is something I found that impedes my time.

But this weed of mine feels me with the fuel to gas this life of mine.

I'm running on E , in need of some more tree. burn it for me baby, send my brain into harmony.

burn that bush for me baby let me smoke that kush.

Sending my mind to the sky. telling my problems goodbye. it's only temporary why?

The product of the high. then plummet from the sky. The end of bliss is nigh.

"Back to the pain?"

no roll it up again.

Never take tree for granted.

in its grasp I'm enchanted.

Its charm has me planted.

but when the effects are gone,

it leaves me stranded..

let's pretend let's pretend

the trends I'm in fill the void I'm in.

will it ever end. I don't think it'll end.

it's not going to fill the void.

"When will they fill the void?"

"Will they ever fill the void?"

I'm trying to stop it.

but I'm an addict

I'm not being dramatic. I can't listen to the good when all I'm hearing is static.