gsa-19-blog

[gsa-19-blog]

LGBT+ Think Questions

-What do you think the impact of the different labels that were put on the students versus what they chose for themselves?

- How have you seen the impact of labels in this school?

- How does it feel when you are not allowed to identify with labels that you would like to be called?

- How does it feel when people use the labels that you do identify with?

- What’s happened when you’ve seen someone use a label they don’t identify with or want to be called?

- What is the difference between a self-identified label and a stereotype?

- What are steps you can take to make sure that the people around you, your friends and classmates, are being called what they want to be called?

- What could you do if you notice someone is being called a label that doesn’t feel good to them?

- What should you do if you use a label for someone without their consent?

- what are pronouns?

- can using someone’s perfected pronouns make a difference with how they treat you and how they talk to you?

- without naming names, have you ever misgendered someone? talk about it - What are the steps that we can take to make sure that gender pronouns are respected and used at our school?

- what is the best way to ask about what pronouns to use when talking to or about a person?

- How do straight, lesbian and gay people participate in bisexual erasure?

- How might bisexual erasure impact bisexual people?

- How have your friends helped you navigate coming out? Or dealing with an unsupportive family

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it is okay

it is okay if you’re straight

it is okay if you’re gay

it is okay if you’re transgender

it is okay if you’re cisgender

it is okay if you’re non-binary

it is okay if you’re religious

it is okay if you’re atheist

it is okay if you’re white

it is okay if you’re black

it is okay if you’re foreign

it is okay if you’re native

however

it is NEVER okay to disrespect someone because their lifestyle or opinion different from yours

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I came out and it went wrong… What do I do?

If you come out to your parents, you really need to have this plan just, just in case everything goes really bad. Here are some recommendations that might help you out

If you’re dependant upon them and you’re worried that they might kick you out, see if you are able to move in with a friend or other family member or even coworker

Gather some supports. People that still love you for who you are and understand that this is just who you are, and not a phase

Remember that you will be okay no matter what happens (this one can be pretty hard to convince yourself at times but I promise that it WILL be okay in the end)

Hang in there! It’s okay!

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what do I do if someone comes out to me?

Thank them for having the courage to tell you

telling someone can really be nerve wracking, they may be expecting to lose a friend, so tell them “thank you for being strong enough to tell me”

Don’t judge them

You may have really strong religious beliefs and that’s okay! Just let them know that you may not necessarily agree with them but you still love them as a person

Respect confidentiality

They may have told you but they may not be ready for everyone else to know...Ask them who else knows or if it’s okay if it’s openly talked about

Remind them that you still care for them

Again with this being so nerve wracking, Just remind them that you love and care for them still. This can go a really long way

Don’t be too serious/goofy about it

This can add to the stress and make the person feel even worse

Ask questions that you might have

But remember that they may not have all of the answers quite yet

Offer or be available to support them if they need it

This will come in handy when they come out to other people in case it goes super wrong

Keep updated on that person

A lot of LGBT people are suicidal, so make sure that they are okay

Don’t let them become isolated

Try not to act any differently around them

I promise that they are still the person that you grew to love, and I know that it can be difficult to adjust to it, but they are still the same.

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coming out ideas

Talk to them in person

Go to a place you feel comfortable talking. If you’re worried about their reaction, maybe go to a public place like a coffee shop so if they act weird, you can feel safer in public

Write a letter

Seems simple but if you’re an anxious person, you can collect your thoughts in an organized way and get the message across. You can try and answer questions they might have in that letter too.

Send a text

Pretty much the same as the last one but some people would prefer to do it in a digital fashion. This might be easier for some people

Record a video

Leave scrabble pieces or banana grams out

Write it on a cake that says “GUESS WHO IS ____?!?!”

Pretty self-explanatory. You can get a cake, and a coming out experience, it’s fun and still creative

Write a poem

Send an email, a digital letter, genius.

Throw a pizza party “for ____ people only”

Make a shirt that says “ I’m ____” with an arrow pointing to your face

For a Halloween party dress as you normally do and when someone asks what you’re dressed as just say “a ___ person”

Have a scavenger hunt, the first one to win gets to be told first

Write a cover of a song about being lesbian/gay/bi/trans/nonbinary/whatever

You could also play one. Dodie’s bisexual song is a good example, maybe write your own little song or play/send one to the person you’re coming out to, there’s plenty of examples on youtube

Make a coming out card (like a Christmas card)

Sit them down and tell them that you’re straight when they look confused say “STRAIGHT UP ______!!!” and skip away

Make a post on Instagram and for the caption say “the first person to comment on this is gay” and then comment “guys…. I gotta tell you something”

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do’s and don’ts of coming out

DO remember that there is no perfect way to come out...not everyone is going to take it the same way and that’s okay

DON’T feel pressured to come out...Know when it is a safe time for you to come out, don’t feel like you HAVE to come out. If you aren’t quite comfortable with some people knowing, it can wait a while longer.

DON’T have important people in your life find out 3rd party...this can make people feel like you don’t trust them. It’s the conversation that needs to happen directly from you

DO read up on how other people have come out in the past...sometimes it’s really unnerving to just kinda do it, it can help relax you to see how other people have done it in the past so you can see what worked for some people and what tragically went wrong for others

DON’T take it too personally if they aren’t okay with it... Unfortunately, we live in a world where not everyone is okay with people that are different. DON’T blame yourself and DON’T hate yourself for being different. You can definitely get through it, and you will be able to find a group of people that are more accepting than the jerks who reject you. Sometimes it’s hard to deal with rejection. It can happen to the best of us for various reasons. But please remember that it’s going to be okay in the end, this is just a blip in the road and soon you’ll find people that are more accepting so DON’T lose self-worth

DO be careful with who you tell...Sometimes, you can tell the wrong person and they might tell others about you. This is really sad and hurtful when it happens and a lot of fights can happen that way. You want to be sure that the person/people that you can tell are trustworthy if you’re not ready for them knowing. If you are ready for the whole world to know, these are the best people to tell

DO know your rights... A lot of schools, colleges, universities and even workplaces are starting to tackle homophobia and other LGBT rights. Know that you are protected and be sure to report any signs of bullying

Do allow people to have a reaction...Some people might look at you in an entirely new light, they may need some time to adjust. If they don’t as questions right away, that’s okay, just be ready if they do. Try to be as calm with answering them as possible. This will help them adjust easier

DON’T come out during an argument...Never use coming out as a weapon to make people feel guilty, this can cause a lot of bad blood. Timing is very important with this kind of deal. Make sure that not only you but the person that you are coming out to are in a good place mentally and emotionally

DO emphasize that you are the same person... Again with the whole thing of people looking at you in a new light. Just remind them that you realized you were the way that you are before you even told them and that you’re still the same person that they know and love.

DO include this phrase: I hope you understand that this isn’t just a phase and that it’s taken some time for me to discover and accept myself, and I hope that you can too.

DO remember there are people on your side

Do start living!... Coming out can make you feel like you’ve got a huge weight off of your shoulder. Remember that life is good and it’s okay to be different than everyone else, embrace who you are.

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how to know if it’s safe to come out

Test out the waters first

If you have absolutely no idea how they are going to react, you can always run a little test to see if they would be accepting with who you are

Try bringing a friend along that is the same as you (Bi friend, gay/lesbian friend, trans, nonbinary etc), how they react about that person should be similar to how they should react to you. If it’s a positive reaction you should be in the clear for coming out to that person

Bring up the idea

Don’t necessarily come out, but pose the question: How would you feel if I was ___? I’m just curious

Trust the person you’re talking to

Invest time in each other

See how open-minded the person is

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Phobias pt3

Transphobia is the fear and hatred of, or discomfort with, people whose gender identity or gender expression do not conform to cultural gender norms.

Is that a boy or a girl?

What is looking like a boy or girl? Not every man strives to be masculine, or every woman to be feminine. Why should it matter whether a person, trans or otherwise, conforms to a stereotype of gender or not?

What’s your real name?

A trans person's real name is the one that they chose to go by. It is an invasion of privacy to demand to know their former identity. Referring to someone as “IT” or “HE-SHE” is offensive. It does NOT show respect for the person. If you are unsure which pronoun to use, politely ASK.

They’re such a TRANNY!

Describing someone as a “tranny” can be very offensive. Calling someone a name of any kind is just wrong and “tranny” is no different. If a person chooses to be referred to as a “tranny” it is THEIR CHOICE

What are you REALLY?

Asking a question about a person’s body or their physical appearance is intrusive.Asking about surgery is completely inappropriate

Why do you need to know?

The BIBLE on Transgenderism

Galatians 3:38 → “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus”

Examples of Transphobia:

Pushing your gender stereotypes on people

Hello I am a butterfly “Hello caterpillar. You are a caterpillar.”

“You aren’t really trans if you do__” or “You aren’t really trans if you don’t do __”

“You’re real gender is what’s in your pants”

Extra Note on Transphobia:

If you don’t like trans people using the bathroom, just look away, like you do with corruption, war, poverty, environmental destruction and homelessness.

31% of trans people commit suicide

50% of those attempted it before they turn 20

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Phobias pt2

Biphobia is the fear or hatred of people who are bisexual, pansexual or omnisexual.

Bisexuality doesn’t really exist

People aren’t just gay or straight. This denies the fluidity of sexuality and dismisses people’s experiences and definitions of self. People deserve the right to define their own identities any way they wish and have those definitions honored.

“I think everyone is really bisexual”

While this is often meant to acknowledge the fluidity of sexuality, it dismisses the reality of people who identify as bisexual and erases their experiences. It also invalidates the self-identifications of non-bisexual people

“You’re too femme/butch to be bisexual”

Gender presentation does NOT indicate sexual orientation Bisexual people have a wide range of gender presentations

“Bisexual people just want straight privilege”

Bisexual people experience discriminations from both the straight community and the queer community. They never fully experience straight privilege because they do not identify as straight. Often their identities are made invisible

“Bisexual people are just greedy and want to have sex with everyone”

This stereotypes bisexual people and assumes they all are promiscuous - and that is a bad thing. It creates negative attitudes towards sex and wins against creating a sex positive climate. It also demonstrates and underlying phobia that bisexuality is only about behavior and is not a legitimate identity

“Who do you see yourself ending up with”

This is another way of ignoring bisexuality as a valid identity. It also assumes everyone desires to be in a long-term monogamous relationship

Examples of Biphobia:

Bisexual women are seen as straight but faking, and bisexual men are seen as gay but faking.

“I can’t date bisexuals, they’re unstable”

Extra Note on Biphobia:

Not only are there many ways of defining bisexual identity, not all bisexual people define their identity the same way. Different forms of bisexuality are not always to the same degree, not always with the same intensity, not always in precisely the same ways, or with identical appreciation of the same traits, but in a fluid, fulfilling, and valid all the same.

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Phobias pt1

Homophobia encompasses a range of negative attitudes and feelings toward people who are identified or perceived as being lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender.

“That’s so gay!”

99% of of gay young people report hearing the casual use of that phrase in school and in their community. The phrase is used to say that things are uncool/boring/annoying/lame and so on and so forth. The easiest way to prevent that is to educate them on better words for them to use

“No homo”

This phrase is used by people to remind others that they are not in fact homosexual, when they say something that can be taken the wrong way. The best way to deal with this is to help normalize the things that they are talking about, like guys liking specific male singers or male actors and other examples like that

Homophobic Insults

When people use homophobic words, it teaches the younger generation that being LGBT+ is an awful thing that they should want nothing to do with it. This instills bullying within a family or friend group or in at school. Eventually if bullying goes without being fixed it can eventually lead to hate crimes such as the shooting in Orlando, Florida in 2016.

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“that’s so gay” let’s be honest... it probably isn’t

Words to use instead of “gay”

Lame

Boring

Crap

Rude

Dumb

Annoying

Stupid

Dull

Vapid

Dorky

Dippy

Dof

Irritating

Disturbing

Tiresome

Irking

Enraging

Infuriating

Blunt

Crude

Simple

Tedious

Poor

Coarse

Ignorant

Unpleasant

Aggravating

Bothersome

Troublesome

Stale

Uninspiring

Bland

Dead

Tame

Uneducated

Elementary

Mundane

Stale

icky

Uninteresting

Basic

Nonsense

Rubbish

Foolish

Idiocy

Garbage

Moron

Nerd

Weird

Dreary

Endless

humdrum

Junk

Exasperating

angering

Disgusting

Upsetting

Unimpressed

Aloof

Corny

Inadequate

Meager

Provoking

Perplexing

Alarming

Confusing

be more educated with your insults

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GSA 6/25

here is what we talked about in our first official gsa meeting if the summer! we talked about the different parts of LGBT+ and what they mean. we got in some meaningful topics/conversations in, if there are some things we left out, or got wrong, please let us know! we love learning!

Lesbian: Women sexually and romantically attracted to other women

Gay: Men sexually and romantically attracted to other men

Bisexual: Persons sexually and romantically attracted to both Men and Women

Transgender: A person who was “born into the wrong body” and switches genders

Queer: Umbrella term for those who are not considered straight or cisgender (the gender assigned to you at birth)

Questioning: Not fully knowing your gender, identity, orientation, or all three. This includes exploring yourself

Intersex/Hermaphrodite: People born with the chromosomal makeup of both male and females, this may include that person having both genitals

Pansexual: People being attracted to people, but not being attracted to them because of their gender, it’s more about personality

Asexual: Lack of sexual (or sometimes romantic) attraction to other people

Ally: A heterosexual and cisgender person that supports the LGBT or GLBT community

Two Spirit: Used to describe pan-native-american people who fulfill a “3rd gender” in ceremonial roles. This is NOT the same as Gay Native Americans as tribal leaders/elders of a clan will determine the differentiation. But it is basically someone who fulfills the rolls for both male and female naturally, not because they feel they need to.

Androgynous: Someone who appears to be part male part female with how they dress.

Drag: Performances done, generally by males, where they dress up like the opposite genders. The male version of this is called a Drag Queen and the female version of this is called Drag King

Gender Expressive: A person’s behaviors, mannerisms, interests and appearances that are associated with either masculinity or femininity

Gender Neutral: The opposite of gender expressive. It’s the idea that people should stop separating things by genders, and get rid of gender roles.

Non Gender Conforming: A person whose appearance and behaviors don’t match society’s version of what their gender is supposed to look and act like

Agender: A person who does not identify as a specific pronoun

Aromantic: A person who does not have any interest in any romantic relationships

Bigender: A person whose sense of personal identity has two genders

Demisexual: A person who only has “sexual experiences” with a person who they have a deep connection. Demisexual refers to someone who is halfway between sexual and asexual.

Polyamorous: A person that engages in multiple sexual or romantic relationships

Third Gender: A person who identifies as both genders or neither.