hamiltalian-creates

[hamiltalian-creates]

Late Night Poly Problems

Summary:  Virgil wakes up late one night for a snack and, despite having two out of three of his boyfriends there, can't seem to get back to sleep. One of those boyfriends, Remy, is the opposite of helpful.

Pairings: Virgil x Remy x Logan x Remus 

Words: 1,429

Warnings: Remus being Remus, Virgil is paranoid about ghosts

Nighttime was scary and nothing could convince Virgil otherwise. He almost always woke up for a midnight snack but he was usually able to go right back to sleep with the help of his three boyfriends. There was nothing more comforting than having Logan in his arms, Remus’s arms wrapped around him, and Remy sprawled out wherever he ended up, but an important piece of that puzzle was missing on that night. Remus was out with his friend, Janus, that night. Virgil usually avoided waking up so late on his nights out by making sure not to take naps during the day and cutting down on caffeine, but Remy had fallen asleep while watching a movie with Virgil and he couldn’t help but to fall asleep with him.

Now, here he was, his goodnight sleep gone, just like his snack. Only making matters worse, the house kept making noises and he definitely did not appreciate that. It sounded like they had angry ghosts and that was not okay with him. He would’ve been tossing and turning to try and figure out how to block the sounds out if it wasn’t for the soundly sleeping boyfriend in his arms. Instead, Virgil just shut his eyes and did his best to sleep, or at least to stay still. His night was already ruined, he figured the least he could do was make sure Logan slept soundly enough.

“Can’t sleep?”

Virgil screamed as he heard the voice whispering two inches from his ear, immediately waking up Logan and making Remy laugh.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry! I didn’t think you’d get that scared, you just looked so, like... Not asleep.”

Logan groaned and laid back down, pulling a pillow over his head.

“I swear to god, Remy, next time, I’m making Remus take you with him,” Virgil half threatened, rubbing Logan’s back soothingly.

Remy tutted and turned on a light. “Seriously, though, what’s up? You’re even more tense than usual, which is saying something.”

Virgil shrugged a bit. “I keep hearing things.. Tiny things, but they’re so freaky.”

Logan blindly tossed his hand towards his and Virgil’s nightstand and searched for his phone, grabbing it with a small, victorious hum.

“Whatcha doing? Finding your own place?” Remy asked jokingly.

“Thinking about it,” Logan muttered in literally the cutest sleepy voice. He scrolled through his phone for a minute before making a phone call, holding his phone against his ear.

“If you’re calling Remus, you don’t have to bug him,” Virgil said. “I’m fine, just kind of spooked.”

Logan ignored him and spoke to Remus as he answered.

“What are you doing up, Lo Lo?” Remus asked in a soft and surprisingly sober voice.

“Virgil keeps hearing weird noises..”

Logan could hear Remus beginning to move. “What do you need me to do?”

“Come make weirder noises. Establish dominance.”

“Ah, yes, my specialty,” Remus snickered. “Don’t worry about it, I’ll call a ride and I’ll be home as soon as I can. Tell whatever’s making those weird noises to get the lube because I’m about to go fuck them up. I love you, Lo Lo.”

“Love you too.” Logan hung up and put his phone down before sitting up, turning his attention to Virgil.

“What did Remus say?” Remy asked.

Logan shrugged, still trying to wake up. “Something about fucking the house.. The point is, he’s coming home. Don’t worry, Virgil, help is on its way.”

“Sorry..” Virgil muttered, pulling Logan to lay against his chest. “I wouldn’t have woken you up if someone hadn’t scared me.”

Remy stifled a laugh. “Whatever. I’m going to make you some tea. In the dark. The ghosts are going to get me and then you’ll feel sorry for guilt tripping me.”

“Remy,” Logan warned as he felt Virgil’s grip tighten the slightest bit. “Leave him alone,” he said as sternly as he could while fighting the urge to pass out, asleep.

Remy shrugged and got up. “What are you going to do? Fuck me? You’re not Remus, honey,” he remarked before walking out.

Logan just rolled his eyes and sat up a bit straighter, looking at Virgil. He scanned his face, trying to figure out how he was doing.

“I’m fine,” he assured after a few seconds. “You didn’t have to call Remus, I just screamed because I didn’t know he was so close.”

“Well, I did call Remus because I know you won’t be able to sleep without him.” Remy switched sleeping positions too often to be a good substitute anchor for Virgil. “Besides, I’m pretty sure he doesn’t mind coming back to cuddle with you. You and I have both left D&D sessions just for that reason.” Remy didn’t like sleeping without having at least one of his three boyfriends there giving him a place to fit in and cuddle, similarly to Virgil.

“Yeah, you’re right..” He smiled and accepted a peck on the lips from Logan before pulling him back down to lay against his chest.

Remy came back a minute later with a hot mug of tea, carefully handing it to Virgil. “Here we go, one Sleepytime tea, with no ghost attacks.”

Virgil rolled his eyes at the joke, but gladly accepted the drink. “Thanks..” He was a few sips in when he heard the front door open and close, jumping a bit at the sudden sound.

“Whichever ghost keeps scaring my boyfriend is going to get fucked in the ass! Whatever non-ghost object is doing the same is just going to get fucked! Try and be scarier than this!”

Remy laughed to himself as they all heard Remus let out the most inhuman sound possible. “Wow, the spirits are not going to mess with you after that.”

Logan nodded and leaned up to kiss Virgil’s cheek. “See? I told you he wouldn’t mind.”

“It’s not like I was scared, anyways. I just don’t like the fact that we have ghosts roaming the house, probably trying to break things.”

“Right, I completely believe you,” Logan said sarcastically.

Remus finally made his way up to their room, greeting his three boyfriends with a smile as he opened the door. “I heard someone needed to be cuddled to sleep?”

Logan and Remy both pointed at the Virgil between them, who just waved.

“In my defense, Remy was the one being a creep. Who whispers to someone at two in the morning?”

Remy shrugged. “I thought you’d want the company.”

“Well, clearly, I’m better company,” Remus said as he began stripping down to his boxers. He could deal with Logan telling him to put his clothes in the hamper in the morning, Virgil was the priority. “Don’t worry, V, I’m here to chase the weird noises away. You know they can’t possibly be weirder than what I can do to them.”

“Thank goodness, now we can get some sleep,” Logan muttered before laying back down. “It’s far too late for any of us to be awake.”

Remy took the empty mug from Virgil’s hands and put it on his and Remus’s nightstand before getting on the other side of Logan and curling up against him. “Alright, but only because I don’t want to hear you whining in the morning.” Logan without his coffee was bad enough, but Logan without enough sleep? That was a beast that only Remus could tame and only after he woke up hours later.

“For the record, I’m still not the clingy one,” Virgil said as he laid back down, holding Logan. “Any of you guys would be acting the same way if something kept you up this late at night.”

“Yeah, of course we would,” Logan muttered, unconvincingly.

Remus slid into bed behind him and kissed the back of his neck. “Relax, Virgil. You don’t have to justify being creeped out. Just go to sleep, okay?”

Virgil stopped himself from arguing any further as he felt Logan fall almost limp in his sleep. He’d be damned if he woke him up again, especially right after he was able to get to sleep. Instead, he carefully moved his left arm off of Logan’s side and reached back, taking Remus’s hand in his own.

Remus smiled and intertwined his fingers with Virgil’s before leaning forward and whispering, “You missed.”

Virgil immediately let go and put his arm back around Logan. Alright, that’s what he got for trying to be sweet to anyone besides him.

Remus cackled quietly and shut off the light before holding Virgil closely and securely.

Virgil let himself relax in his boyfriend’s grip. That was much better.

[hamiltalian-creates]

Coffee Shop Au? Nope. Pet Store One Shot.

Summary: Patton works at a pet store and he falls for a customer that nobody would've expected

Pairings: Intruality (Remus x Patton), Background Loceit (Janus x Logan)

Words: 2,824

Warnings: Mentions of animal death, Remus being Remus 

Patton always wondered what it would be like to work at a pet shop and now that he was doing just that, it wasn’t really what he expected. He’d always heard that pet stores were so bad to their pets and It was something he'd been really scared of when he first began looking for a job, but it was quite the opposite, at least for that particular store. Every animal was well taken care of and the owner, his now friend Logan, personally made sure each breeder was good and ethical, something Patton highly respected.

But the shop and the animals weren’t the only thing interesting about the store. The customers could be pretty weird, too, and there were a few particular ones that made their place in Patton’s memory, but none were quite like this one. He couldn’t remember much about the day itself, but he remembered the moment that this guy walked into the store.

Patton had been cleaning up some of the enclosures for the snakes when he heard the bell ring. His head instinctively shot up and he saw a very bright and spiky man walk through the door. His look was definitely... Interesting. Patton would never really forget the leather jacket, ripped neon green tank top, and matching streaks in his otherwise black hair. Patton, in contrast, was a very pastel guy, so he was a bit intimidated by this customer, but he was the only working at the time, so he quickly wrapped up what he was doing before going to help him.

“Hi, sorry for the wait. Did you need help finding something today?”

The customer thought for a second before asking. “Yeah... Do you guys have any hamsters?”

Hamsters. Cute, furry hamsters were definitely the last thing he thought this guy would be asking for.

“It’s just so quiet in my apartment and I’ve got more than enough time to look after one. My brother said that the hamster he used to have was really sweet and fluffy, just good company to have.”

“Oh... Uh...” Patton tried to shut up his mind. It was pretty rude of him to judge this guy by his looks, plus it was his job to clear up a few misconceptions. “Yeah, we do, but it sounds like you’re looking for a companion and hamsters are cute and all, but they’re not all that friendly. They like to just stay on their own most of the time.”

The guy in front of him visibly deflated a little bit, which was definitely a weird sight for Patton. “Oh..”

“I mean, it really depends from animal to animal, but I don’t think we have any particularly friendly hamsters..” Patton thought for a few seconds. “I can help you find something. We do have guinea pigs, if you want something cute and fluffy. They’re really cuddly, but it’s really a lot different to take care of them compared to hamsters. Not to mention, they have a much longer lifespan.”

He nodded and seemed to light back up a bit. “Yeah, that sounds great. Tell me everything I need to know.”

Patton did just that, helping the guy, Remus, as he’d introduced himself, pick out everything he’d need as well as a lot of extra toys and stuff, “To make sure they’re extra loved” as Remus put it. Once that was taken care of, Patton helped Remus pick out his two new friends, though as fast as Remus fell in love with two of them, it didn't seem like he needed it.

“It certainly seems like they’re going to love their new homes,” Patton said as he helped Remus take everything back to his car after he paid for it.

“I sure hope so, it sounds like they’re going to be part of my family for a while.” Remus seemed very pleased with that idea, fondly holding the cardboard carrier that his new friends were going home with him in.

Patton nodded. “I have a feeling that they’re going to live long, happy lives.”

Remus smiled and put the carrier on his car, patting his pockets. After a second, he began patting his jacket pockets, becoming increasingly confused. “That’s weird..”

“Did you drop your keys?”

“No.. I hate to ask, but it seems like I’ve lost my number. Can I have yours?”

Patton blinked a few times as he processed what Remus had just asked him. Once he did, his face began turning bright red and he began wishing he was better around cute guys, bursting into giggles.

“Right.. Let me guess, a cutie like you already has a boyfriend?” Remus asked, a bit disappointed.

“No!” Patton quickly insisted, trying to get a hold of himself. “I just... I’m a little awkward around guys as it is, especially cute punks with a surprising soft spot for cute, fluffy animals.. To top it off, I’m a sucker for cheesy pick up lines.”

Remus grinned. “Oh, well, if that’s true, then I’m your guy.

Patton nodded. “It’s very true.. Embarrassing, but true.”

“The only thing embarrassing is the implication that other guys don’t remind you how adorable you are.”

Patton burst into giggles again. “You’re really sweet...”

Remus laughed at that. “You would be the first person who thought so, believe it or not. But, since you feel that way, how does a date sound? Maybe Saturday, I can treat you to a trip to the zoo, since we both seem to like animals quite a bit.”

“I would like that..”

Remus smiled and pulled his phone out, giving it to Patton to put his number in. “I’ll text you once I get these little guys set up.”

Patton nodded and put his phone number in, adding a heart after his name. “Sounds good.. I get off at 5, so I’ll be sure to check my phone then.”

Remus bit back the urge to make a joke about Patton “getting off”. It would’ve been the most on brand thing for him to do, but he wasn’t sure a guy as sweet as this would appreciate that kind of humor, especially not before a first date. “I’ll talk to you then.” He grabbed his guinea pigs and got into his car, watching Patton go back inside before driving off, cheering.

Patton let himself swoon the second he got back into the shop. He didn’t want to seem too dorky around a guy like Remus, he was already worried about ruining his chances with the way he burst into giggles at Remus’s flirting. He looked up and jumped as he noticed someone else in the store: his boss and best friend, Logan.

“Are you alright? You were outside for a while,” Logan said as he noticed Patton coming back in.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were coming in today..”

“I had a feeling I should, is something wrong?”

Patton shook his head. “No.. Kind of the opposite. A guy came in and he was really attractive and flirting with me and I gave him my number..”

Logan couldn’t help but smile as he saw how Patton was glowing. “That’s very sweet. What was he like?”

“I mean... I didn’t think he’d really be my type at first, but he was actually kind of a punk or goth, I’m not really sure what the difference is.. He had these bright green streaks in his hair and a mustache, which was an interesting look, but something about him really made it work.”

Logan thought for a second. “Wait... Was his name Remus?”

Patton looked at him and blinked a bit. “Yeah... Do you know him?”

“He’s one of Janus’s friends, he’s definitely a little weird, but not a bad guy. I’m not sure if he’s your type, but I’ll let you figure that out yourself.”

Patton nodded. He knew Janus, that was Logan’s boyfriend. Patton was a bit wary of him at times, but he also didn’t know him very well.

“I’m assuming he came in for a snake and you bonded over that?”

“Actually, he came in for a hamster. He said he wanted a cuddly pet, so I told him guinea pigs would be better.”

Logan looked surprised. “He doesn’t seem like the type, but, like I said, I don’t know him particularly well.”

Patton laughed awkwardly. “You’re starting to make me feel like I made a bad choice..”

“Oh! No, I’m sorry.. Like I said, I don’t know him very well. Besides, even if he is the kind of guy that Janus describes him as, that doesn’t mean you won’t like him. I mean, look at me and Janus. We only bonded at first because of our shared appreciation for philosophy. You could find something with him like that, but even if you don’t work out, I know he’s a good guy. Otherwise, Janus would..” Logan paused for a second, thinking of the right phrase. “I think ‘kick him to the curb’ is the term that works here.”

“Yeah..” Patton sighed. “Yeah, you’re right, I’m overreacting. I just haven’t been on a date in a while..”

Logan nodded and squinted his eyes, his expression morphing a bit.

Patton recognized it as the look Logan made when he had an idea. “What is it?..”

“How would you feel about going on a double date?”

There was no trouble arranging it, it was like Logan said. Janus and Remus were close friends, it only took a few words from Logan to get his boyfriend to talk to Remus about arranging a double date and Patton knew he’d feel so much more comfortable with Logan around. Still, while he was closer to Logan, he did know a thing or two about Janus and, considering that they were going to the zoo, he couldn’t help but feel kind of bad for dragging him into this.

The four of them met at the front entrance of the zoo, Remus and Janus dressed in enough black to make Patton sweat.

“I will never understand how you can walk around in that much black,” Logan commented.

For Patton, it was weird seeing him out of his usual black polo and dark jeans, though the navy blue shirt and black cargo shorts weren’t too much of a difference. It was funny, the two were almost matching, though Patton was in a lighter short and khaki shorts. Janus and Remus were the opposite, matching in color and not style. Neither were dressed for the sun, but at least Remus was wearing a green tank top with his skinny jeans. Janus had a black jacket over his dark gray shirt and black jeans, wearing his signature yellow gloves and bowler hat.

“The difference between me and everyone else is I came prepared. My parasol is more than just an accessory, Logan, it keeps away the sun and I can hit people with it if they give me any looks.”

Logan smiled and shook his head, giving Patton a ‘See what I have to deal with?’ look.

Patton chuckled and turned to Remus. “Maybe we should all just head inside?”

Remus nodded. “Yeah, before Janus gets any more dramatic.”

Janus smacked him with his parasol before walking past with Logan.

“Are you alright there?” Patton asked as he began walking with Remus.

“Yeah, he loves me too much to kill me,” Remus said with a shrug. “I’m more worried about Logan having to walk with him the whole time.”

Patton held back a laugh, imagining that Janus wouldn’t appreciate anyone encouraging Remus’s comments.

Remus glanced down at him and smiled. “You can laugh, you know. Janus knows I’m just picking on him and you know how much I liked your laugh.”

Patton burst into giggles, though those had more to do with Remus’s flirting than the way he teased his friend.

“Cute...” Remus hummed, holding his hand out for Patton’s.

Patton took his hand and walked with him. Now, someone who just looked at the two may have assumed that it was Patton who was dragging the pair around, telling Remus cute little fun facts about the animals, but it was actually Remus. He kept a tight grip on Patton’s hand and did his best not to run too fast as he took him to see the different animals, spitting out whatever facts he knew. Most of them involved things that most people wouldn’t find endearing, gross facts like what you could get from the animals and sell on the black market for however much money or how a particular animal would be hunted in the wild by predators, but Patton didn’t want to judge. So Remus had a pretty unusual set of knowledge about these animals, that didn’t matter too much to him. Everyone had their things, Logan was talking Janus’s ear off about the different behavior patterns of the animals and most people would find that boring. He had nothing to judge Remus for besides the fact that he looked incredibly adorable when he was bouncing from enclosure to enclosure with Patton.

“You sure know a lot about these kinds of things,” Patton hummed.

“Pfft, yeah, it might as well have almost gotten me kicked out of vet school,” Remus laughed. “I mean, most people say something a lot sooner than you, so I have to give you points for that, but if my facts are bothering you that much-”

“No!” Patton interrupted. “No, that’s not what I mean at all. It just seems like something you’re really interested in.”

Remus seemed surprised by that. “Really? You’d be the third person who didn’t care. And the first two are over there making out.”

“It’s not my place to care. Plus, you look pretty cute running around like that,” Patton said with a blush, not being used to the one doing the flirting.

Remus smiled. “Aw.. Well, thank you.”

Patton nodded. “If I may, what did you mean when you said that you almost got kicked out of vet school?..”

“People really hated all of my fun facts and they kept accusing me of crap I didn’t do. It's whatever, they weren't going to stop me from being able to legally perform necropsies.”

“Necropsies?..” Patton asked, choosing to ignore the "legally" part. That could be unpacked on a potential second date.

“Animal autopsies! People hate hearing me say this, but death is pretty interesting when it’s not affecting you. I like seeing how that kind of thing works, how it affects the body in different ways.” He glanced at Patton to see how he was taking this.

Patton was taking it just fine. Was it weird? Yeah, but Logan told him to expect weird. It was just the tiniest bit disturbing, but Remus seemed like he didn’t have anyone to talk to that kind of thing about and that was something Patton could relate to. He wanted to be a live animal vet, but nobody in his classes wanted to hear about the snakes he had or how funny it was watching them pretend to hunt their thawed frozen rats when he knew they wouldn’t hurt a fly. This wasn’t that much different.

“What kind of secrets are you hiding?” Remus asked jokingly. “Janus is a freak, Logan is a heartless nerd, what’s your story?”

Patton shrugged. “I mean.. I guess this stuff is kind of weird, since I’m not used to hearing about death like this, but I have snakes and people always give me weird looks for talking about feeding them.”

“You’re a snake guy? You struck me as a cat person.”

Patton shrugged. “I get that a lot, but have you seen how cute those little danger noodles are?”

Remus nodded and pulled out his phone. “I have some lesbian friends. Say the word and I will have them set us up a U-Haul date right now.”

Patton giggled at that. “A first date that’s going well is still a first date.”

“You can’t blame me, I think this is going almost too well. It’s hard to make friends that let me speak like this, much less a boyfriend.”

“I guess we both just got lucky.”

Remus grinned and leaned down. “Well, if you don’t want to move in with me and adopt a hoard of snakes and guinea pigs, will you at least give me a kiss?”

Patton nodded and leaned up, kissing Remus.

A few feet away, Logan watched them, a proud grin on his face as he took a break from kissing his own boyfriend. “I knew this would be a good idea.”

“You say that about every idea you have. How could you have possibly known that a puffball like Patton and a weirdo like Remus would get along that well?”

“I just knew.”

Janus rolled his eyes and kissed Logan’s forehead. He could say a lot of things, but there was one thing he had to admit. Logan was right. Patton and Remus did made a cute couple.

[hamiltalian-creates]

Couple’s Costumes

Summary:  Virgil has convinced Logan to dress up with him for a Halloween party. Logan's one catch: They're dressing up as each other, the plainest costume they could agree on.

Pairings: Analogical (Logan x Virgil) 

Words: 2,568

Warnings: None

Ah, Halloween. The best and the scariest night of the year. At least, it usually was scary when Virgil was dressing up however he wanted, but this was a new year and the only way he could convince his boyfriend to dress up with him was by agreeing to dress up as each other.

“But as vampires, right?” he’d asked when they first discussed it, hoping he could convince Logan to go through with at least the most basic special effects make up.

“Virgil, I love you and I highly respect your love and dedication to his holiday, but I refuse to risk getting fake blood on my favorite tie.”

Virgil gave him a hopeful look. “Just the fangs?”

“Well, the fangs would look silly with no other aspect of the costume.”

“Alright, fine, we’ll just wear each other’s clothes.”

And it was times like that that made him wish he knew how to tie a necktie. He worked at a bakery with his social best friend, it wasn’t exactly a necessary skill for him. He tried Youtube tutorials, but he couldn’t get the knot to look quite right.

“Logan, I can’t get this stupid tie! Are you ready?”

“I believe so?” Logan half-asked from the bathroom. “I’m not sure if these pants fit me right. Also, the boots are very heavy and very tall and I feel like I will fall the second I start walking.”

Virgil smiled a bit. Well, at least he wasn’t the only one having issues. “I’m coming in,” he said as he opened the bathroom door, blushing as he saw his boyfriend. He was so used to seeing him in a polo and tie that seeing him in Virgil’s usual patched jacket, skinny jeans, and their friend Janus’s platform boots was making him fall in love with Logan in a new way. “I’m making you your own hoodie.”

Logan shrugged and ran his fingers over the fabric. “It is rather comfortable. But the skinny jeans are not coming back out until at least next Halloween. Are you sure we got the right size?” He shuffled his feet and spun in a circle.

Virgil shrugged, trying not to let his eyes linger for too long. “They look good, Logan. They’re skinny jeans, they’re meant to be kind of snug.”

“What about all of the tears? I look completely undignified in these.”

Virgil shrugged. “They add character. And are the shoes really that bad?”

“I’m not used to them like you or Janus. Besides, I’m already tall, adding height feels.. ‘Extra,’” he said, taking a moment to figure out which word was most appropriate.

“First of all, you’re only an inch taller than me. You’re not a giant.”

“True, but Janus is short and overcompensates with incredibly tall shoes that I’m not used to.” The three inch platforms probably weren’t Janus’s tallest shoes, but they were too tall for Logan. Unfortunately, Virgil’s boots wouldn’t have been the right size, so they didn’t have much of a choice.

Virgil decided not to point out that Logan was the one who’s rejected the sneakers that he’d first offered in favor of something more ‘authentic.’ “Second of all, you look like you’re ready to spit in the face of authority, which makes you hotter than usual, so instead of worrying about ‘how to walk’ or ‘why the jeans are riding up so much’ maybe you can focus on the miracle that is happening here.”

Logan may have rolled his eyes, but he was smiling and that was what was important here. “Alright, fine. Here, let me fix your tie.” He waved Virgil over and had him stand in front of him, facing the mirror as Logan reached over and did the tie.

“Are we sure that we’re getting ready for a Halloween party and not Pride?” Virgil asked as Logan finished up the tie.

“Very sure. Why do you ask?”

“Because this is the gayest moment of my life and I’m very proud of that achievement.”

Logan smiled at that and kissed his cheek. “I’m glad to be a part of this moment.”

Virgil nodded and looked up at him with a smile. “You know what would make this gayer?..”

“I’m not painting my hair purple.” Virgil had been asking for him to agree to it since they started talking about the costumes, but how was anybody supposed to take him seriously with purple hair?

“Oh come on,” Virgil groaned. “Just for tonight? You won’t be a believable me if you don’t have the purple hair. I have hair wax, it washes right out.”

Logan shook his head. “I refuse to go through with any sort of body modification.”

“Okay, ‘body modification’?” Virgil asked, smiling. “That’s being dramatic. I’m not asking you to get my piercings and we don’t have each other’s tattoos. I mean, I got some colored contacts and fake glasses, this is your equivalent.”

“My equivalent is wearing my own contacts so I wouldn’t need my glasses.” He didn't like wearing contacts, so he and Virgil were both struggling to get them in. Virgil's contacts, however, were purely for to make his eyes appear the same blue as Logan's.

“Just for tonight?” He wasn't usually one to bed, but if Logan was looking that good with the clothes, Virgil was sure it would send him to cloud nine to see him complete the look.

Logan thought for a second before shuffling out of the room, coming back with his glasses. “If you can honestly tell me that you can see through these for the entire party, I will wear the purple in my hair.” Was it fair? No. Petty? Yes.

“That’s not fair! You’re legally blind, obviously I’m not going to be able to see with those,” Virgil argued, though he took the glasses. “And I have fake glasses.”

“I’m not legally blind,” Logan corrected. “My eyes aren’t quite that bad. And you’re the one who’s worried about authenticity.”

Again, not true, but starting an argument wasn't going to get them anywhere. Virgil put the glasses on, almost immediately getting a headache as everything in sight became a blur. “Holy shit..”

Logan pulled the glasses off of his face and put them on the counter. “My point exactly.”

Virgil huffed in defeat. “Alright, fine. At least let me just..” he reached up and brushed some of Logan’s hair forward over his eyes.

“Holy shit,” Logan muttered, looking around a little bit. “How can you see like this?”

Virgil shrugged. “I have bangs cut for this reason. Now slick back my hair before I break out the scissors.”

Without hesitation, Logan grabbed the hair gel and slicked back Virgil’s hair into his usual style. It was strange, Virgil didn't like wearing his hair out of his face whenever they were around other people, so this was a rare sight. “I actually really like this look on you. It’ll be nice seeing your eyes for once.”

“Technically, you’re seeing your eyes,” Virgil corrected. “My brown eyes are hidden.”

“Fair..” Logan focused on getting Virgil’s messy hair to stay gelled down, doing his best to make it work without his undercut. “How’s that?” he asked after a few minutes of pushing the hair around.

“Probably neater than anything I could have come up with. I’ll just have to remember not to try and put it back in my face.” Virgil nodded at his reflection in approval. “Now, all that’s left is smudging some black eye shadow under your eyes.”

Logan nodded, thinking a bit. Would the colored hair really be so bad if nobody was saying anything about it? He did want to put in his best effort for Virgil's favorite holiday. “And then I will reconsider the purple hair.”

Virgil looked up at him with wide, hopeful eyes. “Don’t say that unless you mean it, Logan. Don’t toy with my emotions.”

Logan smiled at that. Of course, there was also the added bonus of seeing how much Virgil would like it. “I mean it. I’m not promising that I’ll do it, but if I decide that the final costume will look better with the purple hair, I’ll go through with it.”

“Yes!” Virgil cheered before getting his eye shadow and eyeliner. “It’ll be worth it, I promise. Now, get down to my level.”

Logan leaned down a bit and followed his boyfriend's instruction as he worked on his eye makeup. A thick line of black eye liner and a dark cloud of black beneath the eyes, making it look like he hadn’t slept in days. Virgil said he'd started wearing it to mask the fact that he had, in fact, not slept in days, but even as Logan helped him fix his sleep schedule, the look stayed with him.

“And... Done,” Virgil said after a minute of working. He stepped back and nodded in approval at his masterpiece. “You look ready to fight yourself and then the man.”

Logan opened his eyes and looked at himself in the mirror. Virgil was right, it looked good, but something was missing.

“What, you don’t like it?”

“It’s not that..” He paused for a second before sighing. “Alright, get the hair wax.”

“Yes! I told you it wouldn’t be right without it!” He found the jar and twisted it open, grinning at the purple pigment. “Fair warning, though, once this goes on, your hair is stuck in front of your eyes. This stuff gets pretty stiff.”

Logan shrugged. “Just go for it, I guess.” At least it would keep him from brushing his hair back on instinct.

Virgil nodded and did just that, working the hair wax into Logan’s messy hair and trying to give him as much sight as possible. “You’re the best. I hope you know I’ll love you forever for this.”

“You'd better,” Logan muttered. “If I hear a single word about this from anyone tomorrow-”

“I’ll swear to kick their asses, I know. Or you could get Remus to do it, he’s probably scarier.”

That was very true... “Alright, I’ll ask him.”

“Good. I know it’s not very manly of your boyfriend to make the best friend do all of the threatening, but you know how it is.” Virgil could be threatening, but all of his friends knew he’d never go through with even the smallest threats against them. Remus, however, would do it for free lunch. “And I think we’re both ready to go to a party,” he said as he finished coating Logan’s hair.

Logan looked at his reflection in the mirror and smiled, almost trying not to laugh. He looked like an overgrown teenager, Virgil pulled the look off a lot better than he did. “If everyone else doesn’t laugh at me, I will.”

“What are you talking about?” Virgil asked, feigning defense. “Come on, if you want the look to be convincing, you’ve gotta own it. Try and pretend like you’re ready to kick ass at all times.”

Logan wasn’t sure what good that kind of advice would do, but he tried it. He looked at his reflection and tried to mimic Virgil’s ‘someone just looked at Logan’ glare.

“Ooh, intimidating,” Virgil said with an impressed nod. “Okay, here’s my impression of you.” Virgil looked at his reflection and did his best ‘I honestly do not care about your feelings, now go away’ stare down.

“I do not look that mean.”

“Maybe, but you can and it’s my favorite look on you.” Who could blame him? There was nothing hotter than watching his boyfriend just reach his limit with someone else. Logan was always so stoic, but the way he could glare someone into shutting up was exquisite.

“I’m pretty sure that’s an unhealthy trait to be attracted to.”

Virgil shrugged. “I mean, it doesn’t count when you’re mad at me,” which hadn’t yet happened and he was terrified of the idea of being on the receiving end of that look. “I just mean the way you can get a homophobe to shut up with just your eyes. That’s a superpower and superpowers are hot.”

Logan couldn’t argue with that logic. “I suppose I see where you’re coming from. But don’t worry about getting glared at like that, I save it for people who have nothing better to do than to attempt and make my day worse.” Though, he had to admit that it was really satisfying to watch someone shut up and walk away after he stared them down long enough.

Virgil nodded and checked the time. “We have exactly two minutes before we have to leave in order to get there on time.”

“Really? Two minutes to the second? You calculated that?”

“You know what I mean, nerd. Come on, just walk around a bit and make sure you won’t accidentally face plant later.”

Logan tutted, but it was a fair point. He took a few careful steps towards the door, getting a feel for how he’d have to adjust to the shoes. “I think I’ll be able to make it through just the night as long as you're there for me to hold onto.”

“Good. And you’re sure you don’t want to try the dark red lipstick?”

“Even you don’t wear that when it’s not a special occasion.”

Virgil shrugged. “I mean, this is an occasion and you would look especially good in it. Besides, I have your blue eyeliner on.” He just could not leave the house without someway of obscuring his eyes. It was just a hint of blue, but it was better than nothing and it was how Logan would wear it.

“I already have the purple hair. That’s my limit. I’m not helping you fulfill your vampire couple fantasy any more than I have.”

“If you’re implying that I dress like a vampire, thank you. Otherwise, let’s head out.” He held his hand out for Logan’s and lead him out, letting Logan use him to keep himself from falling a couple of times on their way to the car.

“I’m taking these off before driving.”

“Yeah, that would probably be best.” Virgil would've offered, but he could not be trusted to drive, at least not compared to Logan. Even with his slightly obscured vision.

They got to the car without any major accidents and Logan put the boots in the backseat of the car before getting in the driver’s seat, Virgil sitting in the passenger’s seat.

“Cool, now that you’re trapped, thank you for dressing up with me,” Virgil said as he pulled his seat belt on.

Logan rolled his eyes and did the same. “I’m not trapped, but of course I agreed to dress up. You love this holiday and sacrificed a lot of the costume aspect in order to get me to agree to dress up with you. I appreciate it as much as you do.” He knew his terms of dressing up were much more strict than Virgil would like, but their friend group could be a bit more condescending than Logan appreciated.

“Still.. Thank you.” Virgil smiled and switched between scrolling through his phone and watching Logan as they drove. He may have been sacrificing his chance to scare the pants off of all of their friends by wearing that costume, but he was getting to show everyone how perfect his relationship with Logan was without being absolutely sappy and gross about it. That more than made up for it.

[hamiltalian-creates]

Wine Mom Dadceit, Pt 7

Summary: Virgil tries opening up just a little and it doesn’t go badly. Until someone else lets his secrets slip. 

Pairings: Virgil x Remy, Queerplatonic Patton x Logan, Co Parents Janus x Patton

Words: 2,370

Warnings: None

Virgil blushed and thought over his options for a minute. How bad could it be? It wasn’t like he had to tell him how he really felt about Remy, he knew that having a friend was a pretty rare event for himself, his popstar would believe that he was just happy to have a friend. “Yeah... Yeah, he’s new and he started talking to me for some reason, but he’s pretty cool. I guess we just happen to get along well.”

Patton smiled. “That’s good to hear. I hope your friendship goes well.”

Virgil shrugged. “I mean, we just met, so I don’t want to be too hopeful or anything.”

“I don’t know... I think a little hope is good at least once in a while.”

“Maybe..” Virgil may not have been betrayed by a friend before, but he had been kind of an outcast most of the time, which he imagined felt the same when it did bother him.

“And if he does hurt your feelings, I’ll bet Remus will beat him up for you.”

In all honesty, Virgil was not completely sure about that. Their only interaction may have been Remy giving Remus some rainbow band-aids, but it seemed like that made him one of the best people ever in his book. “Yeah, he’ll definitely try,” he said jokingly before looking at his phone.

[Remy: Did I really just go to the park only to not find you anywhere? Fake friend]

[Virgil: We never agreed to go to the park, but okay]

[Remy: If a bitch wants to enjoy his not-grounded life in the park with his best friend, then said best friend legally has to read his mind and meet him in the park]

[Virgil: Sorry, never had a friend before :/]

[Remy: Omg, you are so dramatic! I’m kidding, I love you too much to make you do something that stupid :*] [Remy: Seriously, tho, I wish you were here instead of just my brother and his friend]

[Virgil: “Friend”?]

[Remy: Just his friend, trust me]

[Virgil: Boring lol]

[Remy: Eh, living with no romantic or sexual tension sounds like a blessing actually] [Remy: Boring, but a blessing]

[Virgil: Fair enough]

[Remy: Well, since you couldn’t be bothered to be here, what are you doing?]

[Virgil: Popstar’s painting my nails, I’m letting them dry so I can do his]

[Remy: I stg if you ruin your nails for me, Ill never forgive you]

[Virgil: I’m a professional at scrolling with wet nails, typing isn’t much different]

[Remy: -_-]

[Virgil: My nails are fine, worry about your starbucks and sunlight]

[Remy: I will, enjoy your fatherly affection]

[Virgil: I will] Virgil put down his phone and blew on his nails a bit more before dubbing his hands as safe to use. The next fifteen minutes of quiet father son time felt like it almost went by too fast and Virgil was kind of disappointed when it was over. Solution? He picked up the dark blue nail polish to paint polka dots onto his dad’s nails.

“Had a creative spark?” Patton asked.

Virgil nodded. “Something like that, yeah.”

Patton seemed to understand Virgil’s actual motivation, but he didn’t really want to say anything and put Virgil on the spot. Instead, he enjoyed the warm feeling in his heart and watched as his son added the dark blue dots to his painted nails.

Once he was done, Virgil gave a final nod of approval before putting up the nail polish. “And now it should be, like, an hour until they’re completely dry.”

“Okay, that shouldn’t be too bad. Maybe I’ll figure out how to use my phone to keep myself entertained like you,” he suggested, jokingly, though oddly proudly.

Virgil smiled at that. “I don’t know.. It’s pretty advanced stuff.”

Patton laughed. “I don’t doubt that, I know you and your father have had plenty of practice functioning with wet nails. He’s probably giving himself a manicure now.”

Patton wasn’t wrong, just a couple of hours early. After the last weekend, Janus really needed an extra long bath and a little bit of time to sober up before he could be trusted to do his own nails.

“Whatever he’s doing, it’s probably being done in the most extra way possible.”

“Yeah.. He can be over the top with self care, but it helps him relax,” Patton shrugged.

Virgil nodded. “That’s true..”

The two of them spent a few more minutes together, filling the silence with a bit of small talk before Patton left to make lunch, taking Virgil’s advice of putting his wet nails in ice water before he did.

Of course Virgil knew that trick, he just wanted an excuse to spend more time with his dad without being too sentimental.

Once his nails were dry, Patton got to work making lunch, where he was interrupted halfway through by Roman.

“Pat Pat, can I get a cookie?”

Roman really knew how to use his adorable appeal to get to Patton’s heart. That nickname almost always got to him. “I don’t think so, buddy.. I’m almost done with lunch, you’ll get to eat in a little bit.”

Roman pouted and gave Patton the best puppy dog eyes he could. “Please?”

“Aww...” He looked around to make sure Logan wasn’t there and quickly grabbed a cookie from the jar, giving it to Roman. “Don’t tell your dad.”

Roman smiled and ran off with his prize.

“I saw that.”

Patton jumped a bit as he heard Logan’s voice, turning around and smiling sheepishly as he saw him watching.

Logan shook his head and smiled as he walked over and wrapped his arms around Patton’s waist. “You’ve gotten good at refusing cookies. You’re in a very good mood.”

“Yep!” Patton admitted with a wide smile. “I was talking to Virgil and I got him to tell me about this new Remy guy that he knows.”

Logan was pleasantly surprised by that. “He told you about him?”

Patton tutted and whined a bit. “You already knew?!”

“Well... Yeah, but I didn’t hear about it on purpose, I promise. Janus and I were talking and Virgil heard us out of context and got really defensive. He’s pretty embarrassed about his crush,” he chuckled.

“What crush?”

Oh, Virgil was not going to like this.

Now it was Logan’s turn to act like an awkward teenager.  “Did I say crush?”

Patton nodded. “Yeah, I very clearly heard you say he had a crush.. He didn’t tell me he liked Remy like that, no wonder he was acting so weird about it...”

“I kind of swore I wouldn’t tell you...” Logan admitted. “I feel bad, he was really embarrassed about me knowing..”

“Oh..” It kind of stung, but Patton could understand Virgil wanting to keep something like that to himself for a while. “Okay.. I won’t tell him that I know. That’s that.”

“Thank you..” Logan sighed and kissed his cheek. “I’m sorry..”

“Don’t apologize, it’s normal for a teenager to be a little secretive, I can respect that.” It would be the second big thing that he’d promise to keep to himself about, the first thing being the fact that Remy was Virgil’s friend, but that only made it that more important for Patton to keep it secret. So, he did. Patton made sure not to let anybody else know about Virgil’s crush or, rather, that he knew about Virgil’s crush.

Roman, however, made no such promise as he stood hidden around the corner.

Of course, he didn’t do anything at lunch or dinner, where Remus would be armed with forks. Instead, he waited until after breakfast the next morning, giving himself plenty of time to think about how he’d confront Virgil about it.

“Why didn’t you tell me about your boyfriend?” Roman asked as he stepped into Virgil’s room. “Is he a weirdo like you?”

Virgil was too horrified to be offended. “What are you talking about?”

He shrugged. “I heard my dad accidentally tell your dad about how you like a boy.”

Virgil jumped out of bed and marched on down to the living room, finding his popstar sitting on the couch with Logan. “Why is Roman asking me about a ‘boyfriend’ that he overheard you guys talking about?” he asked, using air quotes around ‘boyfriend’.

Patton and Logan looked at each other in disbelief before looking back at Virgil.

“I didn’t know he was still there,” Logan admitted. “I’m sorry..”

Virgil sighed dramatically and turned to leave. “I’m not talking about it to anyone.” He saw Roman watching him. “That includes you.”

Roman pouted. “Dang it... Fine, I’ll bother you about something else.”

“No you won’t,” Logan said. “You’re going to ease up on him.”

Roman groaned and turned to leave. “I can’t do anything in this house!” he said overdramatically as he walked away.

Virgil waited until he was sure he was gone before turning back to the two adults. “Can we not make a big deal out of this? I don’t really want to make this a big deal..”

“I just want to ask a couple of things, I promise,” Patton said with a hopeful smile. “You can stop me when you want, but this is kind of a big deal.”

Virgil thought it over for a second before nodding. “Alright..”

“Yay!” Patton jumped up and held his hand out for Virgil’s. “Come on, we can gossip up in my room.”

“That’s not necessary,” Logan said, closing his book. “You know how Roman likes to eavesdrop, I’ll go distract him and Remus with a movie.” He got up and kissed Patton’s cheek before walking out.

Patton smiled and looked at Virgil. “So?..”

“Alright..” Virgil smiled and sat down with him, telling him a few things about Remy. He told him about how was probably the most chill person ever and how they met when Remy saved him from a rogue basketball, which Patton thought was the bravest thing in the world, seeing as he was the one who gave Virgil the “bad at sports” gene. He kept as many details as he could to himself, like how cool it was to see Remy go from 0-100 when someone tried to pick on him or Virgil or how much of a flirt Remy was. The last thing he wanted to do was turn into a stuttering gay mess on purpose.

“He sounds like a really cool guy..” Patton said once Virgil was done talking. “I’d love to meet him once you two start going out.”

Virgil shrugged a bit. “Maybe.. I don’t want to make it a big thing.” He didn’t want his popstar to see how embarrassingly gay he became whenever Remy was around. At least, not yet. “Besides, I don’t even know for sure that he likes me, he could just see me as a friend.” Which Virgil knew was a lie, Remy made it very well known that he was ready to go out with Virgil at any time.

“Aw..” Patton smiled, believing him. “Well, if you two do go out, I would love to meet him. Or, even if you stay just friends, that’s totally acceptable and I’d still love to meet him.”

“I’ll talk to him about it,” Virgil assured, unsure of whether or not that was a lie.

Patton let him run back up to his room and smiled to himself, feeling successful. Now, the only thing left was to talk to Janus about this. He immediately grabbed his phone and called him, seeing as this was, in fact, an emergency.

“Hello?” Janus answered after a few rings.

“I know you know about this Remy kid. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“... Patton, this doesn’t classify as an emergency.”

“I think this is a serious emergency,” Patton said, though his tone was too giddy to back up his point. “Our baby boy has a crush and you didn’t tell me about it!”

“Virgil was really embarrassed about it. He barely told me anything and you know how rare that is.”

“Alright, fair..” Patton sighed and crossed his legs. “But I did feel like the two of us really bonded this weekend. I mean, we painted our nails together and he didn’t argue that much when I asked him to tell me a bit about Remy. He didn’t say much, but it was better than him refusing to say anything..”

That was true. Virgil was pretty open with Janus, but with Patton? He was always worried about him trying to pry out more information. “And that’s really good to hear. See? Doesn’t it feel better to not force the information out of him? I know you want to know about him, but he’s a really shy teenager.”

“I know.. I just hate that we’re growing apart..”

“Patton,” Janus sighed, pausing to take a sip of wine. “Look, in all honesty, Virgil still loves you. Being a little shy and secretive is not going to change the fact that you’re his father and he loves you, okay? He just needs a little space sometimes.”

“I know..” Janus reminded him of that all the time. “Thank you.”

“Of course. Is that all that you needed?”

“Oh! There’s one more thing. Are you sure that Remy’s good enough for our little boy?”

“Oh, come on, Patton, we’re his parents. Nobody’s ever going to be good enough for Virgil.” Or Remus, but Janus liked to tell himself that it'd be years before Remus had his first crush.

Yeah, that was true.

“But he does seem like a good kid and Virgil really likes him, so the least we can do is give him a chance.”

“Right... Okay. Thanks, Janus. I’ll see you tonight.”

“Of course.” He sighed and put his phone down as he heard Patton hang up. That was absolutely not an emergency, but he could let it slide this time. After all, he wasn’t so graceful about this entire situation either, as much as he pretended to be on the outside. His son had a crush and that crush obviously liked him back. That meant he basically had a boyfriend, an actual boyfriend. And a boyfriend meant that Virgil was growing up, which was definitely not okay with him.

[hamiltalian-creates]

I’m sorry, but if you follow me or frequent my page and are voting for Donald trump, please unfollow me. I will not ask you to defend yourself, I will not ask for any kind of response to this because by you simply voting for Trump you’ve agreeded to the divisive stances he’s taken on communities who are simply asking for a chance to succeed in this world. To be better than they have been in the past.

I do not want this page, my posts, or any member of the communities I’m involved in to be associated with a symbol of systemic hate, racism, and disgusting behavior the President emits and a vote for him is an agreement to that.

Unfollow me. Do not like my posts. Do not try and defend your actions.

This country deserves better. Black people, LGBTQIA+ people, Hispanic people, Asian people, Muslim people, religious people, non-religious people, women, men, children, everyone deserves better than what we have in office now.

Vote November 3rd. If you can’t, help spread the word and try and influence people that their vote matters.

[hamiltalian-creates]

Oo!! I wish you would write a fic where... (ask thingy) Logan is totally oblivious to Remus’s attempts to score a boyfriend. He thinks that remus is just being impulsive and saying random sexual stuff at him when really Remus is trying to gain the other’s attention! Also hi!!

Hi, CJ! Thanks for the idea, I’m glad we’re on the same Intrulogical brainwave lol

Words: 3,424

Warnings: Remus being Remus

Remus was weird. All of the sides and Thomas himself knew it and acknowledged it and Remus wore the word like a bad Christmas sweater, but, lately, he’d been acting weirder than Logan would’ve expected from him. For the latest example, Logan was just trying to go about his day and get some reading done in the living room when Remus sat beside him and pulled him into his lap and began speaking. 

“So, Logan, how does this sound: You and me, my side of the imagination, 8 o’clock tonight, anything you want.” 

Logan hummed in thought as he skimmed the page for where he’d lost the his place once Remus had jostled him. “I’m not in the mood for a hookup, but thank you for the offer.” 

Remus pouted, but he wasn’t one to give up that quickly. “Alright, no sex. How about now?” 

“I’m busy at the moment. I’d rather finish this book uninterrupted.”

Remus huffed and moved to get up, stopping as Logan grabbed his shoulder. 

“At least move me more carefully, I am reading.” 

Were it any other side, Remus would’ve just stood up and let him fall to the floor with a satisfying thump and maybe even a nice snap or crack, but this was Logan. Remus wanted to date him and Logan had to like him for that to happen. So, he carefully lifted Logan out of his lap and stood up before placing him back onto the couch, patting his head as he set him down. 

Logan nodded. “Thank you.” 

But that wasn’t the last of Remus’s exceptionally weird moments with Logan. 

Just the next morning, as Logan was making himself a healthy, balanced breakfast of biscuits and jam, hold the biscuits, Remus strolled in and smacked Logan’s behind, an action that Logan was pretty used to by then. 

“How about some hang time in the library after breakfast?” Remus asked. “You might have to wait a while for me though, I’m getting hungry from staring at an absolute snack.” 

Logan looked down at his jar of jam and then back up at Remus before handing it to him. “It is quite a delicious treat. And I’ll have to pass on the library, ‘hanging’ doesn’t sound very fun.” 

Okay, that one was Remus’s fault, bad choice of words. “I mean, like, hanging out,” he clarified, dipping two fingers into the jar of jam and scooping some out before eating it. 

“Hanging anywhere sounds uncomfortable. Keep the jar, I have plenty more.” Logan went over to a locked cabinet and pulled the key out from his pocket, unlocking and opening the door to reveal that the entire cabinet had been filled with jars of various Crofters jams. 

“That’s quite the collection there.” 

Logan shrugged and selected a jar before closing and locking the cabinet again. “I keep the bare minimum, I don’t want to take up too much kitchen space.” 

Remus nodded as he watched Logan leave. That nerd really was obsessed with Crofters jams... Maybe he could use that to his advantage. Remus began grinning as he had a brilliant idea. 

Logan went a surprisingly short time before having another run in with Remus and his stranger than usual activities, though this one almost made him laugh. Of course, laughing would’ve been a sign that Logan actually felt that Remus’s stunt was funny and, as someone who didn’t feel, that couldn’t happen. 

As Logan came out for his afternoon jar of Crofters, Remus was waiting in the kitchen, facing the counters until he heard Logan walk in. 

“Hello, Nerdilocks,” Remus greeted as he turned around, showing Logan the newest addition to his usual outfit. 

Logan wouldn’t have looked down at his crotch to see it were it not for the fact that it was hard to ignore the large, white writing on his black pants that read “Open here for Crofters” and the large white arrow pointing right at his, thankfully hidden, penis. He took a deep breath as he read it, trying not to let himself show even a hint of the entertainment he felt seeing that. 

Remus grinned proudly as he noticed Logan’s lips twitch just the tiniest amount and looked down at his outfit’s new addition before looking back up at Logan. “What do you think?” 

“I think that somebody else might find that hilarious and I appreciate your attempt at making me laugh.” 

Remus bounced on his toes and inwardly cheered. “Are you taking the offer? I know you’re here for your afternoon Crofters.” 

Logan shook his head and went over to his hoarding cabinet. “I’m here for a jar of the brand of jam called Crofters, I’m not currently interested in your penis, which, I assume, you have nicknamed ‘Crofters’.” 

“Okay, but what if I told you that my dick is literally covered in Crofters jam right now and you have the opportunity to taste it and guess the flavor yourself?” 

Logan stared at him for a few seconds, wondering if he was serious before realizing that he absolutely was. “Then I’d say that I really admire your persistence and your dedication to this series of practical jokes you’re playing on me. And... I honestly wonder what that feels like.” Logan had absolutely no intention of doing such a thing, but to say he wasn’t curious would’ve been a lie and he wasn’t Janus. 

Remus swooned, Logan’s sense of curiosity being the main thing that drove his attraction to the nerd. “It’s sticky and gross, just like we could be if you say yes.” 

“As much as I love Crofters, I wouldn’t particularly enjoyed being covered in it. But I appreciate the offer, I suppose that would sound like an appealing activity to you, so I’ll take that as a good thing.” He grabbed two jars from his cabinet, giving one to Remus before grabbing a spoon and leaving with his own jar. 

Remus waited until he left before groaning in frustration and going to take a shower. As much as he loved the warm, wet, sticky feeling that he was getting from the jelly that was covering his dick, it reminded him all too much of how he felt on the nights when he’d wake up after dreaming about Logan. 

While he was in the shower, he decided to take advantage of the thought and daydream about those situations with Logan, hoping the post nut clarity would help lead him in the right path here. 

And it did! 

Remus snapped his eyes open and made quick work of scrubbing himself clean before throwing on a quick outfit and dashing over to Janus’s room. He was a nerd, just like Logan, and he was smart! He’d know what to do! 

Remus stormed through his door and jumped onto the bed, where he had been reading peacefully. “Janus! I need your advice!” 

“And I need a day to go by where I can actually relax,” Janus grumbled as he marked his place in his book and put it down. He was annoyed by Remus’s interruption, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to help him. 

“I need help asking Logan out.” 

Ah, yes, Remus’s very obvious crush on Logan. For such a smart guy, Logan was so stupid when it came to realizing that Remus had a huge crush on him. Then again, most people didn’t express their affection by saying that they’d want to rip your head off and place it on their nightstand. Janus supposed that it was just years of living with Remus that made it feel obvious that that was Remus’s way of saying that he wanted to wake up to Logan’s face everyday. “Maybe try speaking a bit more his language.” 

“I already tried slathering my dick in Crofters and he didn’t even want to taste and guess the flavor!” 

Janus wished he wasn’t surprised by that, but Logan did have a pretty unhealthy obsession with the stuff. “That’s not what I meant. I meant try being straightforward. Tell him in very plain words that you want to go on a date with him or fuck him or whatever it is that you do.” 

Remus paused for a second and sat up, a dumbstruck look on his face. After a few more seconds, he smacked his forehead, looking absolutely enlightened. “Why didn’t I think of that?!” 

Janus shrugged. “You and Logan have a lot in common and one of those things is that you’re both incredibly smart and, at the same time, incredibly stupid.” 

Remus nodded for a second before looking at his friend with a grin. “You think we have things in common?” 

“Get out of my room and go get a boyfriend.” 

“Thanks, Jay!” Remus hopped up and ran out of the room, going to work on his latest plot: properly asking Logan out. 

It took him a few days to come up with a plan and, as he did, Logan grew confused. Remus had been so friendly with him, talking to him everyday and constantly touching him, that seeing Remus just kind of vanish was almost worrying, except he didn’t worry. Remus was a grown man and a figment of the imagination, it wasn’t like he could’ve gotten hurt. The more likely answer was that he’d gotten sick of Logan’s lack of response to his actions and moved on to the next side. 

Now, as the logical side, he may have put up a show of not being able to feel, but, unfortunately, Thomas didn’t allow him such a luxury and he was stuck with the burden that was human emotion, figment of the imagination or otherwise. And, currently, his emotions surrounding the idea of Remus going to find another side to mess with just because he wasn’t particularly responsive were anything but positive. There was sadness, a hint of anger, and a fair amount of jealousy that he especially wouldn’t want anybody to know about. After all, Logan already got picked on for the things he liked when they were philosophy, psychology, and astronomy. Who knew how the rest of the sides would react when one of the things he liked was Remus. 

Fortunately for them and unfortunately for him, it seemed pretty clear that Remus had no interest in him, at least not in that fashion. Remus was just impulsive and there was a very high probability that he was sexual and touchy with everyone, so it wasn’t like he treated Logan any differently from his rest. And this was Remus he was thinking about here, Remus of all sides, would’ve made it the most obvious if he had a crush on him, even more obvious than Roman, as insanely open and honest as Remus was. Not to mention, Remus probably wouldn’t have stopped talking to Logan if he actually liked him. 

So, all that was left to do was for Logan to start on the process of forgetting about his stupid crush. It wouldn’t have worked out, anyways. Remus got bored of him as a friend after a few weeks, there was no doubt in Logan’s mind that he would’ve gotten bored of him as a partner or boyfriend even faster. 

Fortunately, with all of the practice he’d had, it wasn’t hard for Logan to hide how hurt he was by Remus’s absence. He went about his day as if nothing had changed whatsoever and attempted to enjoy a peaceful day, something he wasn't particularly used to anymore. 

Thankfully, it seemed like he wasn’t going to have to put up with that kind of order for very long. 

A few days into getting used to Remus’s absence, Logan was grabbing a jar of Crofters for his afternoon snack, fighting the urge to grab a second for a side who wasn’t even there, when he was interrupted by said side’s voice. 

“Logan!” Remus called out as he stepped into the kitchen, hiding his hands behind his back. “I’m glad to see you here, I have to talk to you.” 

Logan stood up and looked back at him, his jelly collection briefly forgotten. “Remus. I haven’t really heard from you in a few days...” 

Aww, he noticed. Remus beamed and nodded. “Yeah, sorry about that, but I’ve been trying to figure out how to talk to you!” 

Here it was. Remus was going to say he didn’t want to hang out with him anymore. “What is it?” Logan asked warily. 

Remus stepped forward and shoved a bouquet of a variety of flowers in Logan’s face. “Here! I didn’t know what kind you liked, so I brought you some of everything.” 

Logan blinked a few times, surprised, before hesitantly taking the flowers. 

“Don’t be so scared, there’s nothing dangerous there. Except for the thorny roses, but nothing too crazy,” he said with a shrug, smiling as Logan started analyzing the flowers. 

“Thank you... These are really nice. Um... May I ask what they’re for? It’s not a holiday or my birthday or anything.” 

Remus put his hands over Logan’s, glad that he’d arranged the flowers so that the few roses were in the middle, unable to stab Logan’s hands. He was too excited to not grip Logan’s hands as tight as he could. “I had a special question to ask you! Would you like to go out with me?” 

“Go out?...” Logan asked slowly, putting the pieces together as he looked between his and Remus’s hands and the flowers enclosed in them and the bright blush on Remus’s face as he beamed. “You mean... Like on a romantic outing? Forgive me if I’m wrong, that’s just the context that is usually meant by the phrase ‘going out,’ at least to my knowledge. Unless you’re asking me to go out with you as in die in a fiery explosion and these are a sample of the flowers that you’ll leave to be left in my grave?” It was an unconventional use of the phrase in comparison, but it was more likely in this scenario, considering that it was Remus he was talking to. 

Remus cackled and shook his head. “No, Logan, I would like to go on a romantic outing with you. If you are interested, I would like to partake in a romantic relationship with you and I’ve been trying to ask for a while now. It’s kind of my fault for forgetting how crazy literal, but oh my god, you’re really stupid literal.” 

Logan laughed awkwardly and nodded. “Yeah.. That’s kind of your fault, you’re so straightforward that I can’t help but to take everything you say literally... And you’re so straightforward that I almost think you’re serious right now.” 

“Uh, I am always very serious,” Remus responded, feigning offense before grinning again. “I am serious, I want to date you! You’re smart and cool and you’re curious enough to not be afraid of everything I say and I don’t like that you’re helping Thomas not be scared of me, but I love that you’re helping him not be scared of me. I really, really want to be your boyfriend and I can’t believe I didn’t think of just outright asking you like this any sooner.” 

Logan liked to think he was the most composed side, but right now, he was an absolute disaster of a gay. His brain was figuratively short circuiting and he couldn’t find very many words to say, much less figure out how to put them together in coherent sentences. “You think I’m cool?...” 

“Of course I do!” Remus was getting excited again, bouncing on his toes and fighting every urge to grab Logan’s stupid face and kiss him all over. “You’re so cool! You’re not scared of the weird things I say and you’re not afraid to call out the others when they’re in the wrong and I really really like hanging out with you. You’re totally cool and it’s taking every bit of restraint for me not to kiss you silly right now.” 

If Logan were a more impulsive and a less composed side, he would’ve gladly invited Remus to do just that. Instead, he freed one of his hands and loosened his tie ever so slightly - he wasn’t sure when it had gotten so hard to breathe, but he was pretty sure being this flustered didn’t help, not that he’d admit it - and cleared his throat, hoping that his own brain would start working with him again. “That sounds like a very lovely proposition.” 

Just as Logan had spent a while misinterpreting Remus’s romantic advances, Remus misinterpreted Logan’s acceptance as consent for what he wanted to do and grabbed his face, pulling him in for a kiss. Just like everything else that Remus did, it was passionate and chaotic, a mess of mashing lips and clicking teeth - Remus was saving using his tongue for later. 

Logan wasn’t one for displays of romantic affection, especially not ones that were so public, but Remus’s passionate kiss was too hard not to get into and he found himself lost in the kiss before he could control himself, putting his previously freed hand over one of Remus’s and keeping the other wrapped around the bouquet that he was holding. 

Unfortunately, just as they had a tendency to do every single time Logan showed even a sliver of vulnerability, one of the sides decided to show up right at that moment. 

“Hey, Logan, would you mind if I grabbed a- Aaaahhhh!” Roman screamed as he walked in and saw his brother making out with their nerd. 

Logan was too used to ignoring Roman’s every word and too into his current activities to pull away at the sound of the scream, but Remus was pretty sure that, in a more clear state of mind, Logan wouldn’t have wanted Roman to just watch them make out, especially not when it was their first makeout session, so he took every bit of his will power and pulled away from the kiss, turning back to glare at his brother. 

“Fantastic timing, dipshit.” 

Roman made a series of offended noises and gestured vaguely at the two of them, unsure of where exactly he went wrong in this scenario. “You’re making out with Logan in the middle of the kitchen where anyone can see! It’s not my fault that I happened to walk into our shared kitchen!” 

Logan began pulling himself out of his daze, standing up straight and clearing his throat. “Roman, you’re not usually one to just walk into a room without loudly announcing yourself first.”

“You’re not usually one to just make out with anyone in the kitchen, especially not my brother!” Roman leaned against the wall and dramatically gripped his stomach. “Oh my god, I think I’m going to be sick... I have to leave!” 

And just as fast as he’d arrived, Roman ran out of the kitchen, leaving the other two sides behind. 

Remus sighed and turned to Logan, his usual smile making its way back onto his face. “So, we’re boyfriends now?” 

Logan nodded and adjusted his glasses. ”Yes, we’re boyfriends now.” He decided against adding on the fact that their relationship was what he’d been agreeing to before, not the kissing, not wanting to let Remus think for even a second that he didn’t enjoy that amazing kiss. “And perhaps we could do more kissing later, when there aren’t any sides around to bother us?” 

Remus’s eyes lit up. “Wait, will that include sex? I’ve been asking for a date, but I’ve also been asking for a lot of that.” 

Yeah, Logan had noticed that much, he just preferred to be in an established relationship before going to that level. ... Wait, was asking for sex also one of Remus’s ways for asking for a relationship? That didn’t matter now, they were dating and there was no confusion about that. “Maybe after you take me on a few dates, yes.” 

Remus cheered to himself and grabbed Logan’s shoulders, leaning in and kissing his forehead before letting him go. “Meet me in my side of the imagination at 8 o’clock tonight, dress according to whatever kind of activity you want to do, you’re choosing our first date.” 

Logan simply nodded and watched as Remus left him alone in the kitchen, staring down at his flowers once he was out of sight. He and Remus were dating now... Sure, they could’ve been in a relationship sooner, had Logan been better at understanding the meanings behind his words, but that didn’t matter. They were dating now. And, for once, Logan couldn’t think about anything else. 

[hamiltalian-creates]

Wine Mom Dadceit, Pt 6

Summary: Virgil tries to settle in for the weekend without being an absolute gay disaster. He tries. 

Pairings: Mentioned Virgil x Remy, Queerplatonic Patton x Logan, Past Janus x Patton

Words: 1,775

Warnings: None

Logan was a merciful being, he wasn’t going to mess with Virgil about his secret. Besides, he already had a feeling that Janus was doing enough of that. Instead, he changed Virgil’s focus by letting him pick the music they listened to during the drive, before and after their trip to the store. It was a trick that Janus had taught him when Logan took him and Remus out to bond with them while Janus and Roman stayed home and had their own spa day. Virgil relaxed pretty quickly when he was listening to his music and it had the added bonus of Remus liking it and being a mostly calm kid.

Of course, he still got nervous as they pulled up to the house and found Patton waiting at the door.

“He doesn't know, does he?..” Virgil asked, sinking into his seat.

“He doesn’t know a thing. I promised I would keep your secret and I will.”

“Right.. I mean, there’s no secret to keep, but if you and my dad are just going to sit and gossip, there’s no reason to-”

“Ugh, your cover’s been blown! You’re gay, deal with it!” Remus groaned before getting out of the car.

“... Please don’t tell him.”

“I won’t. There’s no need to worry.” Logan gave him a reassuring smile before getting out of the car and greeting Patton with a kiss on the cheek. “Sorry we’re late.. I decided to let them get some snacks at the gas station.”

Virgil silently nodded as he passed both of them with a slushie. He didn’t want to accidentally spill his secret again. He went straight up to his room and put down his bag, sighing as Roman ran into the room. “What do you want?”

Roman pouted and showed him a container of purple slime, glancing between the two, as if Virgil should understand it.

Alright, that was a new one. He didn't understand it, but he knew Roman. “You’re getting creative with your insults, I will say that.”

“No,” Roman whined, grabbing Virgil’s hand. He grabbed the slime and plopped it into Virgil’s hand. “Try it!”

Virgil decided to humor him, messing with the slime in his hands. “Okay... This is actually pretty cool. Why are you giving it to me?”

“It’ll help you be less scared of everything so Remus doesn’t have to fight me because of you! And it’s purple!”

Virgil was surprised by how almost sincere that sounded. “Uh... Thank you. So, it’s a gift?”

Roman sighed dramatically. “Obviously! Do you like it?”

Virgil hummed in pretend thought as he messed with the slime a little more. “I think I do.”

Roman smiled brightly and left the room.

Virgil waited until he was gone before letting himself smile as he played with the slime. It really was surprisingly calming and when mixed with the loud music in his headphones, he definitely would’ve lost track of time had his popstar not walked in a few minutes later. Virgil pulled down his headphones as he saw him and smiled a bit. “Hey... Roman gave me a present, apparently.”

Patton nodded. “Yeah, I was taking him to get some art supplies and he saw it and thought of you.”

“That’s cool..”

“Yeah... Well, I just wanted to say hi and maybe see if you wanted to hang out and maybe talk for a bit.” Patton said, trying not to sound too awkward. He got along well with Virgil, but the angstier he got, the less he felt like he could relate with him. They were so different, Patton couldn’t help but to be awkward sometimes.

When it came to awkwardness, however, Virgil had him beat. “Talk? What’s there to talk about? Nothing's going on,” he said, trying not to sound too defensive.

Patton smiled. “I know, you’re not going to make friends and all that.. We don’t even have to talk, but I thought maybe we could paint our nails?..” He held up a few nail polish bottles.

“Oh... Yeah.. That actually sounds nice.” Virgil smiled and put away his slime, looking down at his chipped nail polish. “I have been putting this off for a while..” Did his nails look like that all week? Did he really let Remy see his jacked up nail polish?

Virgil was pulled out of his mind as Patton sat down with him.

“Something on your mind, kiddo?”

Virgil shook his head, realizing that opening his mouth to answer that question probably wasn't a good idea.

“Okay.. Well, you know, no pressure. I’m just here to do you nails for you, just some father son bonding time.” He looked down at Virgil’s nails. “Oh, how could I forget nail polish remover?” he asked with a laugh. “I’ll be right back.” He got up and went to get the nail polish remover and some cotton balls, quickly getting back to Virgil. “Sorry, I forget how often you have your nails painted..” He sat down and held his hand out for Virgil’s.

Virgil smiled and gave him his hand. “It’s fine. I’m just glad I’m not biting my nails anymore.” That was why Virgil had decided to start painting his nails and he’d stopped since, but he still liked the look.

Patton nodded and began cleaning the chipped polish off of his nails. “You seemed like you were freaking out a bit earlier, is everything okay in school?”

“Yeah... Yeah, everything is totally fine, I’m not hiding anything, just...” He glanced around for a split second. “Caffeine. Yeah, from the slushie, it’s really messing with me, I guess.”

“I thought caffeine was bad for your anxiety.”

How Virgil forgot that caffeine usually induced panic attacks, even he would never understand. “I mean.. I guess it only applies to coffee. I just feel kind of hyper at most right now.”

“Okay... Well, let me know if you start feeling bad, okay?” Patton hummed, focusing on cleaning the black polish from Virgil’s nails.

“Yeah, don’t worry.” Virgil tried to calm himself down and focus on this time with his dad. “So... How are things between you and Logan?”

Patton immediately began smiling brightly. “It’s great... I was kind of scared that I’d start feeling something romantic for him, since what we have is a lot like a typical relationship, but-”

Virgil threw in a dramatic groan for comedic effect. He actually thought that Logan and his dad were a really cute platonic couple.

Patton got the joke and laughed. “I’m serious. I’m surprised that I don’t feel anything romantic, but it’s not like this feels any lesser. It’s just different..”

“What about Roman?” Virgil asked, though it was pretty clear what he thought of the kid.

“Roman’s not that bad and you know it. He’s dramatic, but he’s a really good kid. He’s a sweetheart when he wants to be.”

Virgil nodded and glanced towards his new slime. He’d be lying if he said that he thought Roman was exclusively a brat. “Am I the only person he bullies?”

Patton shrugged. “I think it’s how he shows affection. He’s like that with everyone sometimes and he seems upset when people get offended by it. Logan’s started responding with his own small insults, just poking fun at his Disney obsession and Roman seems to adore it.”

“That... Actually makes a lot of sense.” Virgil thought about all of the times that Roman picked on him and it made sense that he was just trying to be his brother. Remus still liked to bring dead things inside and got upset when it freaked Virgil out, why wouldn’t Roman’s choice of affection be a few mean words?

“Yeah, but I can’t blame Remus for being so protective. It’s kind of sweet, actually, when it doesn’t involve taping Roman to walls.” Patton finished cleaning up the black nail polish from Virgil’s hands and showed him the colors he had. “Okay, choose.”

Virgil picked out purple and black. “Maybe, like, alternating or something?..”

“Oh, yeah, that would look so nice together!” Patton smiled and began painting his nails.

Virgil crossed his legs and simply watched, enjoying the quiet. It was relaxing, even with the scent of nail polish in the air.

Patton stayed silent as he focused on getting his son’s nails neatly painted. He didn’t care about how neatly it was done on his own hands, but he knew Virgil would care about his own. “Maybe you can do mine afterwards,” he commented as he began on Virgil’s second hand.

“Eh.. I’m still going to be drying out, but I can try,” Virgil responded before blowing on his nails to help dry the polish.

“Oh, you don’t have to. I just thought it might be fun.”

Virgil smiled. “I think it’ll be fun, too. It’s nice spending quiet time with you.”

Patton smiled at that. He had a bad habit of speaking through movies, so those were something he tended to enjoy more with Remus. It was weird at times trying to find something to enjoy with Virgil for that reason, but this seemed to be perfect. “I’m enjoying this too.” He made careful work of finishing his other hand before letting them both take a break.

“So, I’m guessing pastel blue for you?” Virgil asked.

“Yep!”

Virgil smiled. “If I'm being totally honest, I’ll never understand why you’re so into pastels.”

Patton laughed at that. “You’ve been in your emo phase for twelve years, I wouldn't expect you to be a fan of pastels.”

Virgil looked down at his drying black and purple nails and nodded. “Yeah, that’s fair.” He instinctively began smiling as he heard his phone vibrate. Trying to be as subtle as he could, he picked up his phone and attempted to seem uninterested as he saw a few more texts from Remy flying in.

“Is that a friend?..” Patton asked.

Virgil did his best to think straight. Or at least to not think gay panic. Popstar didn’t know anything about Remy, he knew that for sure. Remus and Logan both swore not to tell and his father would never rat him out like that, so he was obviously just asking a question. “Not really, we’re just working together on this stupid school project. Yeah, we’re doing a think about... Triangles.” Nailed it.

For obvious reasons, Patton doubted that. “Triangles?..”

“Uh.. Yeah. Like, isosceles or something. Our teacher wanted to give us an easy A project or something.”

Patton gave him a doubtful look. “You know, you don’t have to lie, Virgil. If you don’t want to tell me about your new friend, you don’t have to.”

Yeah, he didn’t expect that to work.

[hamiltalian-creates]

I wish you would write a fic where...

Send me an anymous (or not) summary of the fic you wish I would write. (maybe I will write a tidbit)

[hamiltalian-creates]

Wine Mom Dadceit, Pt 5

Summary: Remus and Virgil get ready to go see their other dad for the weekend. Virgil is too big of a gay disaster to keep a secret. 

Pairings: Mentioned Virgil x Remy, Mentioned Queerplatonic Patton x Logan, Past Janus x Patton

Words: 1,774

Warnings: None

When they got home, Janus sat down with the two of them to help them with their homework, as usual, and gave Remus a snack. Virgil said he was too old for snacks, as if nobody saw him getting his own snack about half an hour in.

As he got up, Janus saw Virgil’s phone screen light up and, honestly, he didn’t mean to peek, but the screen lit up and he just glanced over. He wouldn’t have noticed anything if it weren’t for the heart emojis.

[Unknown #: Hey, Virgie!!! I got my phone back to message you! <3]

[Unknown #: Hope you appreciate this, I said I’d do extra chores for the rest of my grounding]

“Uh.. Virgil-”

“Dad’s reading your texts!”

Virgil immediately ran back over and snatched his phone up, glancing at the screen before looking back at his dad. “Seriously?”

Janus shook his head. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to read them, I just saw the emojis and I got a little curious... Is that a friend of yours?..” he asked, suggesting that he knew exactly which friend.

Virgil nodded and sat back down. “He’s pretty funny like that..” Come on, there was no way he took on a bunch of extra chores just to talk to him, they could talk in school. Virgil assumed Remy stole his phone back purely to talk to whatever friends he used to go to school with and decided to talk to Virgil for a minute.

[You’re insane, I hope you know that]

[Remy :) :What can I say? I’m crazy for you, emo boi ;*]

Virgil blushed and put his phone down, pretending like he didn’t notice his brother and dad staring at him.

“Remy says hi, Remus.”

Remus smiled widely. “Tell Remy to ask you out already!”

“Why don’t we just get back to math?” Janus suggested in a desperate attempt to get Remus to ease up.

The rest of the week seemed like just business as usual. Virgil would get be a gay mess and Janus would stop Remus from messing with him too much. So, technically, there was nothing new to tell Patton. At least, that’s how Virgil and Janus agreed to justify it.

It wasn’t that Virgil particularly enjoyed keeping secrets from his popstar, they just didn’t quite have the level of communication that Virgil had with his father. His popstar was definitely more likely to try and pry for information than his father was, though all three of them were working on getting him to not be so intrusive as well as finding a way to get Virgil to be a little more open without feeling like he had to be embarrassed.

But there was still a pretty big hole in the plan.

“Remus, I will give you five dollars if you don’t bring up Remy to anyone this weekend,” Janus said as he helped his sons get ready to go. “Virgil isn’t ready to share about him yet and you know that your father would be hurt if he knows that Virgil isn’t telling him something.”

Remus thought long and hard enough to make Janus sweat. He and Patton had a very civil divorce, they were friends as well as co-parents and Janus wasn’t sure how keeping this kind of secret from him would affect that.

“I’ll make it ten if you don’t torment Roman.”

“Make it fifty and we have a deal.”

Janus felt his eye twitch. He was a good liar, but how could he justify Remus or any eight year old walking around with a fifty dollar bill? “I’ll buy you a chocolate bar.”

“Two chocolate bars!”

“Done.” Janus held his hand out and felt himself relax as Remus shook it.

“I would’ve done it for free.”

“Just get ready to go.”

Remus giggled madly and kept packing his bag as Janus went to check up on Virgil.

“What did he say?..”

“He hustled me out of some candy, but he won’t be a problem.” He gave Virgil the two five dollar bills that was supposed to be Remus’s bribe and gave it to Virgil. “I promised him two chocolate bars. You can have the rest of the money.”

“Thanks..” Virgil put the money in his pocket and sighed. “I feel like this is going to go so badly..”

“You say that about everything. It’ll be fine, I promise.” He pulled Virgil into a one armed hug. “If it doesn’t, just say it was my idea to hide it.”

“Why would it ever be your idea to hide it?”

Janus shrugged and kissed his forehead. “I’ll figure it out. You just worry about keeping Remus from picking on you. Now finish getting ready, Logan’s going to be here really soon.” He got up and left, waiting for the two boys to be ready and for Logan to get there to pick him up. Usually, it was Janus who dropped them off, but after the last weekend, Logan felt bad for cutting Janus’s relaxation time short and insisted on coming to pick them up.

Janus let him in when he got there, inviting him inside.

“Good morning, Logan. Roman didn’t want to come along and say hi to Remus?” he asked jokingly.

Logan shook his head, smiling a bit. “I don’t think he wants anything to do with Remus after last weekend..”

“Yeah, well, I made Remus swear not to torment him, we shook on it and everything.”

“What did it cost you?”

“Just some candy, you know how kids are,” he shrugged. “I won’t blame you if you don’t want him all pumped full of sugar when he goes over, I’m sure he’ll live if he doesn’t get the candy until I go to pick them up tomorrow night.”

Logan shook his head. “I won’t mind. Like you said, I have Roman, I know that Remus won’t believe you unless you give him candy upfront. We can swing by the store on the way to the house.”

Janus smiled. “Thanks.. I was going to just give him money, but this way was cheaper.”

“No problem.” Logan smiled back and sat down with Janus as they waited for the two boys.

“How have Roman and Patton been getting along? I hope Patton isn’t going too upset by the fact that Roman and Remus don’t seem to get along particularly well?”

Logan shrugged. “I’m not letting him feel too much pressure there. I just keep reminding him that they’re all kids and they’re all different, they’re not going to hate each other forever. I’m just working on getting Roman to realize that Remus will only keep messing with him as long as he picks on Virgil.”

Janus nodded. “And I keep telling Remus not to do anything to Roman that he wouldn’t do to Virgil.”

“I will say that Patton and Roman get along exceptionally well. They both love Disney in a way that I will always support, but never understand.”

Janus chuckled at that. “Good.. I know Patton is pretty quick to feel guilty about this kind of thing. I remember he was really worried when you two were making plans to move in, he didn’t want Remus and Virgil to feel like we were getting replaced, even though we were all completely rooting for you two.”

Logan smiled at that. “That’s nice of you. It still kind of amazes me how well you and Patton get along despite the divorce..” He paused for a second. “I’m sorry, is it fine with you if I bring it up like that?”

Janus waved it off. “It’s completely fine. You know neither of us have hard feelings over this, marriage just wasn’t for us. You know we’re still good friends, I know you know we go out for drinks once in a while.” More like once in a parent-teacher conference, but that wasn’t the point.

“Good.. I just wanted to be sure, the other divorced parents at Roman’s school are either bitter about it or way too celebratory about it for their child’s sake.. It makes me glad that I don’t get those feelings.”

Janus just shrugged. There was nothing for them to be particularly bitter or celebratory about, he and Patton got along just fine when they weren’t living in the same house. They were just two adults who didn’t happen to be soulmates. “Yeah, romantic love is fucking weird. Young love is worse.”

Almost as if on cue, Virgil came out of his room, immediately hopping into defensive mode. “Who said anything about love? Crushes aren’t love. I mean, what crush? Can’t a guy just really like another guy’s face without everyone talking about it?”

Janus face palmed.

“Um... We weren’t talking about you, Virgil.”

Virgil froze for a second and slowly realize that he’d sold himself out. Still, he desperately hoped he could fix it as he shuffled towards the front door. “Who said I was talking about me? I didn’t even say anything about his face. Anybody can wear prescription sunglasses, Logan. You guys want to talk about me like I’m not in the room, I might as well wait in the car.”

Logan turned to Janus as Virgil went outside, hoping it wouldn’t take too long for him to realize that the car was still locked. “So... Virgil has a crush?”

“I will give you five dollars if you don’t tell Patton.”

Logan smiled. He knew this was a big deal for Virgil, he wouldn’t think about meddling. “I’m not Remus, I’ll stay quiet for free.”

“Hey, I would’ve done it for free!” Remus said as he stepped into the living room.

Logan stood up and walked with Remus to the front door. “Don’t worry, his secret is safe with me.”

Virgil stepped back inside. “Maybe you should’ve told me that the doors were locked instead of gossiping, Logan. Did you ever think of that?”

Logan nodded. “Of course, how thoughtless of me. Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me.”

“There’s no secret! Remy is, like, totally just a friend!” Virgil paused and realized what he’d just said. “Oh my god, he’s rubbing off on me... Next thing you know, I’m going to be sleeping in class and fighting the entire basketball team..” He walked back out in silent horror, Logan and Remus following.

“Have fun with that..” Janus told Logan. “Let’s hope he doesn’t rat himself out to Patton.”

“It looks like we’ll just have to wait and see.. I’ll see you tomorrow night.”

Janus nodded and watched them leave, closing the front door with a sigh. He gave it three hours before Virgil let his secret slip to Patton.

[hamiltalian-creates]

Finally, finishing our chain is the baddest bitch of the Sanders Shorts, Sleep, or as the fandom has dubbed him, Remy

Starting off the chain of Lowdown sides with best boy Logan, the original (I made him and all of the others in Google Sheets)

Keep reading

[hamiltalian-creates]

Of course, I had to add in our favorite therapist, Dr Emile Picani

Starting off the chain of Lowdown sides with best boy Logan, the original (I made him and all of the others in Google Sheets)

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[hamiltalian-creates]

Crawling up from the depths of hell is our disgusting duke, Remus

Starting off the chain of Lowdown sides with best boy Logan, the original (I made him and all of the others in Google Sheets)

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[hamiltalian-creates]

Slithering in is our definitely-not-evil snake boi, Janus

Starting off the chain of Lowdown sides with best boy Logan, the original (I made him and all of the others in Google Sheets)

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Begrudgingly being a part of this is our emo nightmare, Virgil 

Starting off the chain of Lowdown sides with best boy Logan, the original (I made him and all of the others in Google Sheets)

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[hamiltalian-creates]

Making his dazzling entrance next is our fabulous prince, Roman

Starting off the chain of Lowdown sides with best boy Logan, the original (I made him and all of the others in Google Sheets)

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[hamiltalian-creates]

Next up is our favorite friendly father figure, Patton

Starting off the chain of Lowdown sides with best boy Logan, the original (I made him and all of the others in Google Sheets)

Keep reading

[hamiltalian-creates]

Starting off the chain of Lowdown sides with best boy Logan, the original (I made him and all of the others in Google Sheets)