harkximoffslut - Tumblr blog

[harkximoffslut]

Wanda: fuck you.

Agatha: no, fuck you. you’re the bottom in this relationship.

Wanda, confused: we haven’t even banged.

[harkximoffslut]

Wanda: *falls down the stairs*

Agatha: *catches her*

Agatha: i think you just...

Agatha:

Agatha: ...fell for me

Wanda: put me down

[harkximoffslut]

Jimmy: is being gay an illness?

Wanda: yes. how come everytime i kiss Agatha my stomach hurts?

Darcy: Wanda, those are butterflies.

Wanda: well, they’re gay too.

[harkximoffslut]

Agatha: our can opener is broken.

Wanda: so it’s a can’t opener?

Agatha:

Agatha: i want a divorce.

[harkximoffslut]

Wanda: your hair looks great.

Agatha: really?

Wanda: yeah.

Agatha: pull it then.

Wanda: huh?

Agatha: what?

[harkximoffslut]

THE VIDEO OF KATHRYN AND RACHEL OH MY GOD

Wanda: I just had a dream where you dumped me for Natasha's mom.

Agatha: Relax love, you're my one and only

Agatha: Don't relax too much though, that's always a possibility.

[harkximoffslut]

𝗔𝗴𝗮𝘁𝗵𝗮: i kissed Wanda.

𝗗𝗮𝗿𝗰𝘆: what?! when?!

𝗔𝗴𝗮𝘁𝗵𝗮: after you left.

𝗗𝗮𝗿𝗰𝘆: i was gone for five minutes! what did you do? shine a bat symbol on your vagina?!

[harkximoffslut]

don't be shy, send those fics.

[harkximoffslut]

𝗔𝗴𝗮𝘁𝗵𝗮: everyone has a gay cousin

𝗣𝗶𝗲𝘁𝗿𝗼: we don't have a gay cousin

𝗣𝗶𝗲𝘁𝗿𝗼: *looks at Wanda*

𝗣𝗶𝗲𝘁𝗿𝗼: oh...

[harkximoffslut]

𝗔𝗴𝗮𝘁𝗵𝗮: tell me something that will cheer me up.

𝗪𝗮𝗻𝗱𝗮: i love you.

𝗔𝗴𝗮𝘁𝗵𝗮: what?

𝗪𝗮𝗻𝗱𝗮: nothing.

𝗔𝗴𝗮𝘁𝗵𝗮: *whispers* i love you too.