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How to Practice Self-Compassion

Most of us from a young age are taught how to be kind, considerate, and compassionate toward others. But, rarely are we told to show the same consideration to ourselves. This becomes even more true for individuals brought up in abusive or unloving homes.

What is Self-Compassion?

Self-compassion is taken from Buddhist psychology and refers to how we can relate to the self with kindness. Self-compassion, or self-love, is NOT to be confused with arrogance or selfishness. In actuality, arrogance and selfishness stem from the absence of self-love.

But what does it really mean to be kind with ourselves? It means that on a day-to-day basis we are mindful of being courteous, supportive, and compassionate with ourselves. Too many individuals treat themselves with harsh judgement instead of compassion.

Why is this important? Because self-compassion helps us recognize our unconditional worth and value. It allows us to recognize that though we may sometimes make bad decisions, we’re not bad people.

Research, over the past decade, has shown the parallels between self-care and psychological wellbeing. Those who recognize self-compassion also tend to have better connections with others, are reportedly happier with their own lives, and have a higher satisfaction with life overall. Self-compassion also correlates with less shame, anxiety, and depression.

Now that you know the what and why of self-compassion, let’s look at the how.

How to Practice Self-Compassion

Treat Yourself as You Would a Small Child

You would never harshly judge or belittle a small child the way you do yourself. You would only want to help and love that child. When you begin to treat yourself as you would a small child, you begin to show yourself the same love, gentleness, and kindness.

Practice Mindfulness

Every minute, your mind is handling millions of bits of information, though you consciously are only aware of a few of them. This is to say, we all have scripts or programs running in our minds 24/7. These scripts and programs are running our lives, insisting we have certain behaviors and make certain decisions.

Some of these scripts are the ones that tell us how “bad” or “unlovable” we are. They’ve been running since we were kids. The way to quiet these scripts is to become more mindful of your own mind.

When you begin to have a feeling or reaction to something, stop and ask yourself: WHO is feeling that? Is it the compassionate self, or the program running? If it’s the program, thank the program for what it has done and release it.

Good Will vs Good Feelings

Self-compassion is a conscious act of kindness we show ourselves; it’s not a way to alleviate emotional pain. Life happens, and we can’t always avoid negative or sad feelings. Never mistake self-compassion as a tool to ignore your deep and rich emotional life.

These are just a few ways you can begin to cultivate self-compassion. If you’d like to explore more options or talk to someone about your feelings of self-rejection and judgement, please get in touch with us. We’d be happy to discuss how cognitive therapy may help.

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Breaking the Ice: Tips on Making Female Friends at Work for Women

When we’re school-aged, it’s easy to make friends. But, as adults, women can sometimes feel on-guard around other women, especially in the workplace, and friendships can be harder to foster. Not only does this lack of friendship make going to work each day feel more challenging, but studies have found that friendships, or a lack of friendships, have a big impact on our overall health and well-being.

Here are some ways you can foster real friendships with other women at work.

Make it a Priority

It’s easy to tell yourself you’d like to make friends with the women you work with, but following up on that impulse takes real effort. The journey of friendship is one you must commit to and nurture. Ask a coworker to lunch, compliment someone on the fine job she did, and invite others into the discussions you are leading. Each day, make it a priority to build a closer relationship with the women with whom you work.

Focus on Quality, Not Quantity

Depending on how many female coworkers you have, you most likely won’t be able to make real and lasting friendships with all of them, and that’s okay. This is not a popularity contest where you try to get everyone to like you. This is about seeking out women with whom you have a connection and putting in the effort to form a lasting bond.

Expect Some Rejection

The truth is, there’s not a whole lot of difference between romantic dating and platonic “dating.” You may feel a connection with another woman at work and ask her out to lunch. She may say no and say it again and again.

Don’t let any form of rejection stop your efforts. Just as no one at work really knows your inner life and feelings, you don’t know anyone else’s. Some women may simply be in a bad space in their life and don’t have the energy to connect with a new person. That’s okay. Move on, and keep trying. Eventually, you will make a true and lasting connection.

Keep the Momentum Going

Once you’ve had that initial lunch or get-together, keep the momentum going. Building a relationship is like building a fire. It takes a bit of work to get that kindling to catch, but once it does, the bigger flames come.

Like anything else in life, friendships require our time and attention, but when you consider the value and meaning they bring to our life, they are worth the extra effort.

If you’re looking for some expert guidance on navigating the unique stressors of your work or personal life, please don’t hesitate to reach out.

Sources:

https://psychcentral.com/news/2018/03/04/women-report-increased-discrimination-from-workplace-queen-bees/133258.html

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/working-btches/201308/why-are-some-women-nasty-other-women

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/friendship-20/201605/10-ways-make-and-keep-friendships-adult

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The Mental Health Benefits from Practicing Yoga with Rae Magnani LCPC, RYT

https://youtu.be/TpXe9ZwsNvI

One of our therapists at Health and Healing Therapy, Rae Magnani, discusses the various benefits of yoga, particularly how it can assist mental health. If you are interested in incorporating yoga into your therapy sessions, our practice may have the right therapists for you!

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Relaxation Exercise with Body Scan with Reshma Lagomarcino, LCPC, RYT

https://youtu.be/X4_VyYUkP7A

Reshma Lagomarcino, one of our therapists at Health and Healing Therapy LLC, walks you through a body scan to help you relieve tension and stress. Please follow along with Reshma and take a few minutes to calm down and relax!

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How COVID-19 May Be Impacting Depression and Anxiety in Your Teen

Adolescence is a plethora of changes, trials, and moments of growth. We are influenced by our peers, family, and social media, as we attempt to discover more about who we are, what we want, and what we will become. These questions are hard enough by themselves, but, as many teens are unfortunately discovering, their difficulty can increase ten-fold in the midst of a universal pandemic.

Your teen was likely pulled out of public school in lieu of a quarantined, online classroom in late March. Everyday activities like going to the movies or hanging out with friends became dangerous, even lethal. A dependence on electronics became greater than ever seen before, as, for many still, the internet is their strongest tie to the social world. Email, FaceBook, or Twitter are the means by which you and your child learned of increasing cases, increasing hazards, and increasingly cancelled activities. With all these cancellations naturally come feelings of disappointment and grief.

Further than that, we are also in an era of confusion for what comes next – a graduated senior may be wondering if it’s worth going away to college if they have to spend their freshman year taking class in an overpriced dorm room. Those still in high school may be afraid of what going back to school will look like and what kind of risk they will be taking if they are forced to jeopardize their health for a minimal amount of social contact and in-person learning. There has been a loss of freedom, dreams, and plans for the future. We simply do not know what that looks like anymore.

The pandemic is affecting anyone and everyone, but for teens who are developing their identities in the middle of a storm, it can have an even greater negative influence. In an article from NPR (link), psychiatrist Dr. Ludmila De faria points out that many of the cancelled events are “developmental milestones,” and when these events are missed, “[teens] are forced to regress a little bit, or at least not progress as expected on their developmental milestone.”

With this comes feelings of a lack of control and being held back that pile on top of the grief, and in American society, where everything is fast-paced and some are shamed for falling behind, these emotions can be a lot to process. They may result in a lack of motivation, or overall hopelessness.

The CDC notes that the pandemic can increase stressors, reminding us just how important it is to take care of mental health at this time. Specifically with the influences of grief and fear, the COVID-19 pandemic may be a trigger for anxiety or depression in anyone – including your teen.

So, what are some signs and symptoms you may watch for in your adolescent?

Are they irritable?

Are they spending more and more time alone?

Do you notice them losing interest in things they typically enjoy?

Do they seem constantly fatigued?

Are their physical movements slower than usual?

Have their eating and sleeping habits changed?

These are some signs that are commonly observed for depression.

Internally, they may feel hopeless, worthless, unmotivated, sad, empty, restless, or have suicidal thoughts.

Are they tired and easily annoyed?

Are they restless?

Do they have trouble sleeping, and difficulty concentrating?

Are they experiencing emotions of intense, uncontrollable worry?

These are some of the symptoms of anxiety. For a full list of the criteria for depression and anxiety, you can visit the website of the National Institute of Mental Health (Teen Depression and Anxiety Disorders). If you are concerned and see some of these signs and symptoms of adolescent depression and teen anxiety, please reach out to us at Health and Healing Therapy so we can be a resource for you and your family.

In noticing these potential symptoms in your child, communication is key. You may assume things are much worse than they actually are, or you may not find any signs while your child is greatly suffering inside. Be open with your teen and ask them how they are doing – they may not always been willing to talk about their emotions, but show them they have your support by being kind and showing interest in their wellbeing.

If you find they are feeling anxious or depressed, ask them about how you can best help so things can improve. Whether it means eliminating stressors, like turning off a TV always broadcasting bad news, getting melatonin to help with sleep, or seeing a therapist, let them know they have options so they can feel and be their best.

If you and/or your teen believe that talking to someone could help, one of our adolescent counselors and teen therapists at Health and Healing Therapy would be happy to work with you and your family. You can reach out by calling or completing our online form.

Also, know that your adolescent’s “best” right now may look different from before, as might yours and the “bests” of those around you. Try your best to be patient with your teen, and hold onto realizing they are doing their best, as we all are. Prioritize and remember that other things can and may need to wait until your teen is feeling better.

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You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life by Jen Sincero

A book recommendation from therapist Megan Kolecke LCPC

This is your “get out of a rut free” card! It is an easy and inviting read to spark your brain into action.

Jen’s spicy humor is a great tool to gain perspective regarding ourselves and our environment – how those perspectives often get twisted and how to challenge those negative thoughts.

If there’s one takeaway from the book, it’s that the caliber of positive energy we send out is what we can expect to get back in return. Sit back and take in this fun read; Jen has been there, done that, and will take you through her learning process with some motivation and butt-kicking thrown in.

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The Mindful Way Workbook: An 8-Week Program to Free Yourself from Depression and Emotional Distress

A book recommendation from therapist Rae Magnani LCPC, RYT

I’ve used this workbook with my clients as a tool many times, and there are skills and exercises that could be returned to as needed by the reader for ongoing use in therapy or afterwards

The Mindful Way Workbook uses Mindfulness Based Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (MB-CBT), which I often use for a variety of concerns, so although depression is in the title and sometimes the content of the workbook speaks specifically to this, it could easily be used for other concerns like anxiety or stress management. People can benefit from workbook use since the act of reading and writing is another way to reinforce concepts we talk about in therapy.

Additionally, some people learn better in ways other than the verbal processing that traditional psychotherapy heavily relies on. If you’re someone who does better with written instructions or likes visual aids, using this or other workbooks during and after therapy can be really helpful!

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25 Tips to Help You and Your Child not only Survive but Thrive at Remote Learning

While most things this year in 2020 have changed dramatically for parents, how remote or hybrid school looks, may be one of the changes that is more prevalent. Most kids and teens are doing online learning, and families not only have to navigate every family member being at home, but parents are having to learn how help their child’s schooling more intimately than before, some even while working from home themselves. With these new and unknown circumstances come a series of stressors and challenges, but we at Health and Healing Therapy are here to help!

Our therapists have worked together to create a series of 25 tips detailing ways that you can help your child thrive at remote learning while helping yourself, too. Check out the list below.

1: Ensure your child is in a comfortable spot while they learn – use a bouncy chair if they struggle with sitting still.

2: Busy hands improve concentration. Purchase and use some fidget toys your children can use while having to pay attention.

3: Carve out a specific quiet learning space for each child to work in, avoiding high traffic areas. It’s vital to have a place to work in and focus, so make sure your kid has one, too!

4: In that learning space, allow your child to choose and decorate their own workspace so they can claim ownership. This is like how adults personalize their offices, or like how you might have at your own home desk!

5: Utilize cardboard dividers to help physically block things that can be distracting in their space when taking a test or when they need high concentration.

6: While it’s good to have a workspace, it’s also healthy to have a change of setting. Let your child sit at different places so they can move: use a bean bag chair, stationary bike, rocker board, rocking chair, etc.

7: If possible, purchase comfortable headphones for your child to use while in class so they can focus on learning instead of potential discomfort.

8: Taking breaks for recharging is healthy and lets you return to work better than ever. Allow for “daily recess” 1-3 times per day for everyone in the family (kids, teens, and parents). Unhook from electronics and go outside; allow children to have free play or family activity play.

9: Try to develop small group learning times with neighbors or friends to help with engagement and enhance connection and peer relationship building. Whether or not the meetings involve homework, it’s important to still maintain connections and have social time!

10: Discuss and develop a daily plan and routine with your family so everyone knows what is expected and what each person has to do for the day.

11: Also discuss and create a plan specifically with your child! Listen to their feedback and share your own to make improvements and signify to them that their voice is important.

12: Right now, there are so many things that we can’t control. Focus on what you can change, plan for what you are able to, and let go of the rest.

13: School is important, but so is mental health! Focus on your child and pay attention to needs outside of just educational by focusing on their social, emotional, and health needs, etc. Build these aspects into their daily experience whenever possible.

14: Treat e-learning similar to in-person learning: be an advocate for the support and services your child may need to be successful. Things will be different and this will present new obstacles, but set them up to do their best by helping them get what they need to learn.

15: Set limits for your child like they normally had in class. Feel free to say, “if you aren’t allowed to do _____ or don’t do _____ at school, then you cannot and we don’t allow it here at home.”

16: Try to focus on and share what you’re noticing your child is doing well in adjusting to this school year. Reflecting on your child’s strengths and resiliency will be more effective in helping them (and you) continue to build on what’s working right and to feel confident and empowered during a difficult and strange time.

17: Practicing meditation or mindfulness can help your child develop helpful mental tools and allows time for them to co-regulate. If you are working on your own mindfulness, meditation, or anxiety management skills, practice with your kids!

18: A helpful reminder for you – no, this is not normal. This is hard, and you’re not the only one who is struggling. Doing your best is all you can do, and it is enough and okay.

19: Prioritize structure and other helpful behaviors where you can. Make sure you and your kids have breaks. Get outside. Drink water. Get enough sleep. This stuff makes a difference.

20: If there are many family members working/in school at home, make daily schedules as to who the best adult or sibling is to go to for help if there are issues with school, work, or the internet. Your child may need assistance throughout the day, so give them the knowledge they need to resolve an issue before it comes up!

21: Note that kids are using their devices for social connectivity more than ever now. Be mindful of screen time, but also know you may need to loosen your restrictions!

22: Get up and move during breaks throughout the day! Do some stretches or easy exercises (jumping jacks, squats, skip, jog in place), take a short walk, or go outside and get fresh air.

23: Familiarize both you and your child with school resources. Many districts have a page designated for remote learning which may help to answer any questions you have or direct you on who to ask. If you can’t find the page, ask your child’s teacher!

24: Transcripts and subtitles can be very helpful! If your student has difficulty focusing during audio and video instruction, turn the “transcript” button on and have them read what the teacher is saying. If you’re on Zoom, you can also record the video session to go back and rewatch.

25: Ask your child questions about school besides, “How was school today?” You can talk about school, but be specific! Here is a link of some questions you ask your child at the end of their school day.

Hopefully you can find something helpful among these tips! If anything, remember that you are not alone in the difficulties you may be facing. We are all entering into a new “normal,” and you are coping as best you can. Have faith in your parenting instincts, and believe in yourself!

If you, your child, or teen are struggling with all the challenges with how COVID-19 is impacting your mental health, we are here to help support you and your family. Counseling and Therapy services often help reduce the anxiety, stress, and depression that often increase when we experience difficulties. Contact us.

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Therapist Spotlight with Reshma Lagomarcino LCPC, RYT — Bartlett Illinois

We at Health and Healing Therapy want to give you the opportunity to get to know our therapists, what their clients struggle with, how they help, and who they are. We believe that connection and comfort with your therapist is vital to growth and healing, so we hope that knowing more about us can put you to ease and assist you in making a decision about whether we are the right therapy practice for you. To do so, we have interviewed each of our therapists about themselves, their careers, and their thoughts around therapy.

Next in the spotlight, we have Reshma Lagomarcino LCPC who talks about how therapy is a form of grounding, the importance of being your authentic self, and the things she typically helps her clients with.

Why do you think it’s important for people to participate in therapy?

I think it really helps with grounding and just slowing down, and I think that especially now with everything kind of going on with COVID, we especially need it to slow down and take a pause. It helps us regulate, and I think everyone can use some of that.

What does a therapy session with you look like?

It depends, but usually I’m looking at clients’ strengths, any areas that they’re resilient in, and we can typically come up with a few. I also introduce some coping skills if they need them, and I like to bring humor into the sessions, too.

What is the best advice you’ve given in a therapy session?

To be your most authentic self. So, not thinking about what others want or what your parents or peers want and how they want you to act, but stopping, thinking about, and answering the questions: What do you want, and who are you, really? And then, going about your day as that person. Being who you most feel you are and who you want to be.

What is one of the hardest parts of being a therapist?

I think that it might be some of the unexpected things that come up, and I think that’s because life happens. So, as much as I think somebody’s doing really well and I know how a session’s going to go, something could have come up in their lives, or they might have discovered something, whether it was a loss or a betrayal, and it kind of sets them back a little bit. I’m not always expecting that to come up.

What do you like the most about being a therapist?

I think it’s seeing growth in my clients, and I think that’s something we get to see in a private practice. I like seeing the progress they’ve made as they continue to do the work.

What are common challenges that your clients face? What is an area or are areas of specialty you have?

I think anxiety is a big one that’s coming up for a lot of clients right now. For specialties, I would say trauma, PTSD, and then for an age group I like working with, it would be adolescents and adults. That’s kind of the bulk of what my typical clients look like.

What do you want/is your hope for your clients?

I hope that they see their potential, how resilient they are and their strengths, because I think that a lot of times they come in and they’re feeling so down that they forget that they’re really strong, that they’re strong people, or that they have a lot of positive traits. I’m hoping that they’re able to see that after some work. Typically, I think they do get to see it! It can take longer for some than others, but that’s my hope — that they’re able to realize and recognize that potential in themselves.

What do clients say about working with you?

I’m hoping it’s good stuff! I hear a lot of “I appreciate that you’re here.”

Learn more at https://www.healthandhealingtherapy.com

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Coping with School Anxiety — Health and Healing Therapy

Now that the holiday season has come to a close, the beginning of another school semester begins. Each new semester can bring along with it a lot of fear and worry for anxious teens. There are new classes to attend, new teachers to meet, and new classmates to befriend. Sometimes, the stress and worry about the load of school work that may be assigned during the semester can be anxiety provoking as well. Managing this fear, concern, and worry can be difficult. Here are a few ways to help cope with anxiety as school starts up again.

It can be overwhelming to think about what the new semester will bring in terms of school work, teachers, and social interactions. Although it can be tempting to want to avoid our anxious thoughts about the upcoming semester, it can also be helpful to tune into those thoughts. Imagine yourself in a stressful or anxiety provoking experience — after imagining that, it can be helpful to think about skills that you have used in the past to help you get through the experience. With those skills you used in the past in mind, imagine yourself getting through the experience and seeing a positive outcome. Because you have already imagined yourself using these skills, creating a plan to use can help you be more successful in the moment as you getting through the adjustment. It can also help to think through some events or scenarios that could come up during class — such as ice breakers. We all have had teachers that want us to share a fun fact about ourselves, and it can catch us off guard. Thinking about a fun fact ahead of time and practicing saying that fun fact in the mirror can be beneficial! This way, you are prepared with what to say, and won’t have to worry as it gets closer to your turn.

It can be helpful to reach out to friends and vent about your day. This gives you the opportunity to talk things through with people who know what you are talking about. They may even feel the same way you’re feeling! Talking to friends also gives you the chance to share a good laugh and can help you destress throughout the school day.

Increase Fun Experiences

As school starts up again, it can be easy to forget about fun activities as homework and study time increase. Don’t forget to continue to do fun things in your life! It can be good to write out some fun things that you want to continue doing throughout the week and scheduling them in your calendar. Make time for whatever you want to do, whether it’s to play video games, go on a walk, or talk with friends. Just because school is coming back does not mean that every fun thing in your life has to be put on pause.

Overall, these are a few ways to help you cope with your anxiety as school starts again. Create a plan, reaching out to others, and increasing fun experiences. You can think plan ahead which skill you will to use in an overwhelming moment, vent to friends about your classes, and continue to complete fun activities that you love!

Learn more at https://www.healthandhealingtherapy.com

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6 Parenting Tips to Help Your Child Who has Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) Succeed

You may ask yourself, “What do I have to do to get my child to do their homework, do their chores, eat right, stop forgetting things, and just be successful?!?” Parents may hit this wall with their child and feel like they are failing as a parent because their child is not where they think they should be, or because some expectations may be unrealistic. Worry not! Most of the time, this is a result of the child not having the right skills or finding it hard to handle their environments. Here are some helpful tips for parents who have a child or a teen who struggles with ADHD, distraction, organization and other executive functioning skills to help their child develop these important skills.

1. Stop doing the work for your child!

It is important to help your child with their math homework, but it stops them from learning problem solving skills if you give them the answers — or worse, do it for them. Yes, it can be frustrating that they do not do it your way, but remember that they are learning. It is vital to look at it from their perspective and developmental age, and envision what would be an improvement from their current level of skill. Guide them through a thought process with bread crumbs to lead them in the right direction.

2. Move in baby steps

If you nor your child can remember what the floor in their room looks like, it is unrealistic to ask for the room to be spotless and free of all messes. Start small and help them clean up the room. Even if you would like the entire room to be clean, having them pick up just one pair of dirty socks can be an opportunity to point out a positive behavior which can lead to more of those desirable behaviors. They eventually will be masters of picking up socks and can add another cleaning skill to their toolbox.

3. Ask more open ended questions

A child/teen’s most dreaded questions tend to be, “How was school?” or “Did you learn anything today?” This gives us the “fine; okay; nothing; or I don’t know” response. Some helpful questions to challenge their thinking would be, “Tell me something you did today that was brave;” “what was something you were successful in doing today?;” “what was something that you failed at today?;”or “what was a kind thing you did today?” These questions help our child/teen’s developing brain look at something more specific in their day, gives them a chance to share something they are proud of, and can normalize experiencing challenges or failure. It can also help them learn better social skills.

4. Set timers and give reminders

For younger people, time does not make any sense and feels like a made up concept — because, well, it is! If you tell a child that dinner will be ready in 30 minutes, they usually do not know what that means. Translating it to them in a tangible way is important, such as having a sand timer to show that once all of the sand is at the bottom of the timer, 30 minutes have elapsed. Setting timers helps children and teens see the light at the end of the tunnel of a task and can give a greater sense of urgency to work on the task.

I know it can be exhausting for parents to have to remind their child more than once to do something. However, the decision-making part of their brain is still growing, and they need a fully grown adult brain to help them learn time management skills. Consider it a bonus if you can put post-it notes in places they always pass for reminders (by their shoes, in the bathroom, or by a computer).

5. Read the room

Who likes to do things when they are in the middle of a fun activity or when they are in a bad mood? The answer is: NOBODY. If we want to have success, we need to set our kids and teens up for success. Patiently wait for them to finish their game at a comfortable save spot — maybe sit with them and watch until they are done, or ask when they would be able to pause to talk. Be sure you “prime the pump” and get their attention by initiating eye contact and catching their gaze. After making the request, you can ask them to repeat or paraphrase what you asked for to confirm they understood your request and give them a chance to ask questions. Be specific with what you want to see, not what you don’t want to see.

6. Acknowledge and praise

Keep in mind that everyone goes at their own pace, and we will not always (or ever be) flawless in what we do. Every time your child/teen does something positive, try to let them know that you see the good things they are doing. Small actions build up to big accomplishments, and we need to be more aware of those little things, even if a mistake is made.

Tell them you are proud of specific things they do like coming home on time, sitting down to do homework, being with the family, or putting dishes in the sink. Recognition and praise gives them a good feeling and tells them to keep doing it!

If you have a child who is easily distracted, has ADHD, and/or struggles with attention , impulsive behaviors, and executive functioning, we at Health and Healing Therapy encourage you to try implementing all or some of the six tips shared above. You have an amazing opportunity to impact your child or teen’s success by being their mentor, guide, teacher, and loudest and most enthusiastic cheerleader. Remember to always focus on their growth, change, and new skills. We all hear positive encouragement more favorably than correction or criticism.

If you live in the western Cook County or Kane County, Illinois area and need support implementing these changes, we are here to help. We have , , and services available.

Learn more at https://www.healthandhealingtherapy.com

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The Therapeutic Power of Pets — Colleen Koncilja, LCSW | Counseling & Therapy | Bartlett IL

Animals are amazing creatures that roam the Earth, a beautiful presence of life we often take for granted. We typically see them every day in the outdoors, and, at some point in our history on the planet, decided to bring them home and add them to our own families. By doing this, we have created room for a whole new type of relationship in our lives, one that is fulfilling to our hearts, minds, and souls — that between carer and pet. Here are a few ways in which being a pet owner can be therapeutic.

Pets Provide Therapeutic Companionship

Humans have bonded with animals for centuries, a relationship recorded as early as 8000 to 2500 B.C. when farming was invented. The connection was originally for more fundamental purposes, such as transportation, farm work, and protection, but has since evolved to us creating more intimate, emotional bonds with our furry friends.

We feel joy coming home after a long day of work when we get to see our buddy waiting at the door or near the window, glee seeing them play with a new toy, or pure adoration and fulfillment when they choose to curl up in our laps. Specifically, when we are physically close, we produce a hormone called oxytocin — better known as the “love drug.” This is passed between tactual contact and increases when we become more connected. Studies have shown that oxytocin levels tend to be higher in animal owners, and we feel even happier — likely due to all those cuddles!

Pets Keep us Engaged and Entertained

If you have ever explored the internet, you know that we’ve created an infinite library of videos that show off our animals in all their lovable, silly glory. We “aww” at the videos of the dogs and horses that are inseparable, we laugh at the cats trying to avoid that bathtub, and we probably have even more photos of our animals on social media than of our human family members!

We feel joy watching our creatures explore our house, get into mischief, and choose us to spend time with. Some people will dress up their animals for holidays. Celebrating animal birthdays or adoption “Gotcha Days” has become more common in households.

Pets Support Brain Growth

Although having a pet is fun, it does not come without its challenges. First time pet owners learn fast that each animal has their own personality and needs care different from another. In terms of how this can be good for us, we challenge our problem-solving skills by researching how to be good pet parents. We gain not only book smarts by learning about proper animal diets, animal behaviors, and training skills, but also gain wisdom with increased experience in practicing bonding, and patience.

Learning how to take care of exotic pets like koi fish, insects, reptiles, and sugar gliders also comes with a learning curve to create an ideal environment. Just as pets can learn from us, we as pet owners can grow as people by interacting with and caring for our animals.

Pets Enhance or Physical and Mental Wellness

For many animals, we increase our physical activity to meet their needs. Some dogs will want to go for a walk four times per day, and play even more often. Cats will want us to pull out wand toys to engage their hunting instincts. On the flip side, we have to pick up our animal’s droppings in the litter box, cage, or yard.

Physical activity is healthy for the mind just as it is for the body, and a little a day can improve your physical and mental health! Various research studies have identified that pet owners are less likely to suffer from , high blood pressure, and cholesterol concerns. A 2021 study by Lundgren, Robinson, and Segal reported that pet owners over the age of 65 make 30 percent fewer visits to their doctors than those without pets. By needing to be more physically active to take care of our pets, it indirectly helps our moods and health, getting exercise even during our busiest days.

Pets Improve our Emotional Wellbeing

Animals have been included in therapy since its birth, beginning with Sigmund Freud. He would use his Chow Chow, Jofi, during his sessions to help detect in his clients. We have since adopted therapy with horses, cats, dogs, lizards, birds, and even pigs! Taking care of these animals and feeling their calm presence allows us to mirror them and be more mindful and in the present. There was a study that found 84 percent of post-traumatic stress disorder patients paired with a service dog reported a significant reduction in stress, and 40 percent were able to decrease their medications.

Rescue dogs have been used in the rehabilitation of prisoners to give them a sense of responsibility and purpose. Emotional support dogs help people overcome their anxieties to function during the day, and pet owners tend to feel more secure with a pet, especially a dog, because of their guarding instincts. In all these ways, the emotional support that an animal gives so freely is therapeutic in both the figurative and literal sense.

Pets Improve the Inattentive Challenges in ADHD

There were assumptions that animals would make people more distracted and prevent us from getting things done. Although there can be exceptions, there was a study done in 2019 by UCI Health child development specialist Sabrina E.B Schuck that decided to look deeper into how animals could impact . Her study found that animals had no impact on hyperactivity or impulsivity in a child with ADHD. However, the study did see a significant improvement with social skills, self-esteem, and reduction with inattention, which were the more challenging aspects of ADHD to treat in younger ages.

Pets offer us companionship, entertainment, learning opportunities, and physical and emotional support, having a pet is almost like free therapy itself! We at Health and Healing Therapy in Bartlett, Illinois, believe in the power of our pets so much that we decided to share them with you. Check out the above photo with our therapy and counseling staff and their furry friends.

Remember, the next time you give your furry, scaly, or hairy friend some love, be sure to give them a little extra affection as gratitude for their unwavering support.

Learn more at https://www.healthandhealingtherapy.com

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Therapist Spotlight: Colleen Koncilja LCSW, CADC, ICGC-II, BACC

We at Health and Healing Therapy want to give you the opportunity to get to know our therapists, what their clients struggle with, how they help, and who they are. We believe that connection and comfort with your therapist is vital to growth and healing, so we hope that knowing more about us can put you to ease and assist you in making a decision about whether we are the right therapy practice for you. To do so, we have interviewed each of our therapists about themselves, their careers, and their thoughts around therapy.

is in the spotlight sharing her beliefs about the importance of therapy, her approach to facilitating a session, and some of the most rewarding and difficult parts of being a therapist.

Why do you think it’s important for people to participate in therapy?

I think it’s important for people to have a safe space to talk about the things that are difficult to talk about. Often, people may not share certain things with friends and family because they fear being judged, criticized, misunderstood, or that they will get unhelpful advice. Sometimes there are things we feel hesitant to talk about and we fear embarrassment and shame. In therapy, people don’t need to worry about being judged or criticized or told what to do. Rather, it’s a relationship that is supportive and accepting which allows people to be open and honest about some often very tough things.

I think therapy can help people build certain skills they were never taught or help them to hone in on some skills that are out of practice. Many people don’t know how to help themselves in situations of stress and anxiety because they were never taught or modeled effective ways to cope. That is one of the things I hope to teach people in therapy.

Sometimes people grow up in families where they were never taught how to work through feelings that are difficult to feel, how to communicate their needs or how to handle conflict effectively. They don’t know how because those behaviors were never modeled. So, my hope is that the therapy relationship and process is a place where people can learn new skills that will help them be able to have better relationships and the life that they want. Therapy can be very helpful for people because they may be going through a stressful time, or some of the coping skills they’ve used successfully in the past aren’t working right now. Sometimes we need to learn to cope differently or learn how to handle a new situation in a different way. Whether someone is struggling through grief and loss, a recent trauma, a life transition, or anxiety or depression — therapy can help people find the solutions they need to help them live their best life.

What does a therapy session with you look like?

Most sessions start off with the person checking in and letting me know how the past week has been for them. Some people who I meet with have specific things they want to talk about or work on, while other people are continuing to work through consistent and ongoing issues that are in forefront in their life. Some of our time together is spent on learning and developing new skills to use in your everyday life. Those skills could be ones like working on relaxation, doing mindfulness skills, decision-making skills, actionable step planning, or examining the dissonance you have over a certain situation: on one hand you feel this way, and on another you feel that way, and working through that internal conflict. Other times, the session may be a place to talk about things that are really overwhelming or painful to the person. This is an important part of therapy for many people because they may not be able to talk about the same feelings and thoughts with other people in their life. So, each session can vary from person to person and from week to week. That is how therapy is individualized, and I try to assess what is most helpful and beneficial for the person I am working with in that particular session.

My style is pretty calm, real, and encouraging, and I tend to mix in some humor when appropriate as it can also be healing. I think it’s important for people to reflect back on their progress a lot, so we tend to do that regarding how much someone has grown, or about how something used to be more difficult than it is now, just to recognize the ability they have to make the changes that they want. Ultimately, every session is really different depending on who the person is or what they’re working through.

What is the best advice you’ve given in a therapy session?

There are common things I tend to encourage people to reflect on. I often help people examine their decisions, beliefs, choices, and behaviors by asking — “is that helpful, or is it harmful? How is that working for you?” I really focus on determining if their beliefs, reactions, and choices are improving their quality of life or somehow making it more difficult. I also encourage the mentality that you need to teach people how to treat you and that others need to teach you how to treat them. I think this is important in relationships because none of us have a crystal ball or know how best to care for someone else, so we need to learn how to do so.

Additionally, I offer a lot of education and normalizing of the experiences that people go through. People often think they’re the only person certain things happened to or the only one who thinks, believes, reacts, or acts like that. It’s important that people realize they are ok and they are not alone, so I do a lot of education on common experiences we all have. Oftentimes this is very relieving to people because they had always believed and often felt embarrassed and/or ashamed thinking they were the only person who thought, felt, feared, or experienced something. Normalizing the difficulties we all go through is very healing. Firmly knowing that there is nothing wrong with us, we aren’t the only ones, and we aren’t alone, is one of the most encouraging, helpful, and calming interventions I provide.

What is one of the hardest parts of being a therapist?

Probably the hardest part is seeing bad things happen to good people, along with the difficulty of not fully understanding why some people experience deep trauma, pain, devastation, and hardship in their lives. I always want the people I work with to feel better, to have hope, and to believe they will get through the difficulty they are experiencing.

Not having the understanding or answers as to why bad things happen, and then realizing how devastating that is for people and wanting to help while feeling limited in how much I can help can be difficult. I can’t change what people have experienced nor erase people’s pain, but I can help to ease it.

Being a therapist as long as I have, I think I’ve learned how to manage that over time. In the beginning, it was a lot harder than it is now. I focus on people’s inner strengths, on the hopefulness I have for them, and on knowing that often people can get through very difficult things and heal in a different way than they thought was possible. So, I hold onto that hope and onto the belief in people’s resilience and strength to get to the other side of adversity. In addition, I focus on how I’ve seen through the years that even though painful things happen to people, sometimes out of those painful experiences there can be a lot of good as well.

What do you like the most about being a therapist?

I like being able to help people realize that they can change, that they’re not alone, and that they can learn how to handle tough situations differently in ways that are more helpful for themselves. I like being able to be a safe person for people, being able to encourage them to be their best self, and being able to see a lot of people who have gone through adversity work through that pain and trauma and get to the other side.

What are common challenges that your clients face? What is an area or are areas of specialty you have?

I have several specialties as I have done extensive postgraduate clinical training in many different areas. I work with a lot of people who experience anxiety, depression, chronic illness and/or pain, as well as with people who have relationship attachment difficulties, self-esteem issues, and have experienced in their younger years. In addition, I work with people who have problem gambling issues as well as with their family members.

What do you want/is your hope for your clients?

I want them to work through whatever is holding them back, challenging them, or making life painful so that they can move forward, grow, heal, and thrive. I want them to see themselves as the unique person they are while growing in their acceptance, care, and love for themselves.

What do clients say about working with you?

I think they’d say that I’m easy to talk to, that I have a good sense of humor, and that I’m very accepting, non-judgmental, trustworthy, and not easily shaken. I think a lot of them would say that I “get them,” that I can put their experience into words which helps them feel understood. Other clients would say that I help make them feel less alone, more “normal,” “less crazy,” and okay. Overall, many would say I know what I’m doing, how to help, and that they receive the help and support they were looking for.

Learn more at https://www.healthandhealingtherapy.com

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Therapist Spotlight: Salena Pesch LCPC

We at Health and Healing Therapy want to give you the opportunity to get to know our therapists, what their clients struggle with, how they help, and who they are. We believe that connection and comfort with your therapist is vital to growth and healing, so we hope that knowing more about us can put you to ease and assist you in making a decision about whether we are the right therapy practice for you. To do so, we have interviewed each of our therapists about themselves, their careers, and their thoughts around therapy.

Next, we want to present Salena Pesch! In the first half of her interview, Salena discusses her client-focused approach to therapy, the need to sometimes “walk through the mud,” and more about how she supports and cares for her clients.

Why do you think it’s important for people to participate in therapy?

For me, it’s mostly because it’s their story. I really find it important in the therapeutic process for therapy to be helpful to them, so whether that’s finding who they are, thinking of new ideas and how to respond differently, or to heal from past hurt, it’s important for it to be their process. I’m big into feedback in therapy, too. I want to make sure that it’s helpful for them and that they’re getting out of it what they need.

What does a therapy session with you look like?

First, it’ll be building a relationship. It’s really important to me for them to feel comfortable in the therapy session, so I like to start finding out about them, how we can work together to make things better, what they like, what they don’t like, and also why they’re there. Basically, what led them up to this point in seeking out therapy and seeking out help. They’ll get to know me, too! Most importantly, I want them to feel comfortable. I want them to feel like it’s just another relationship and that I’m another support to them. I think sharing your life can be a very vulnerable experience, and especially if they’re new to therapy it can be a new process, so I want them to be comfortable in that process.

What is the best advice you’ve given in a therapy session?

Actually, I try not to give advice too often! I really like to come at therapy from a collaborative perspective, where it’s me and them working together on what brought them in. I think that’s when the best change occurs — when it happens together with them, and also when they’re coming to these realizations organically. Often, I will just help clients make connections. I think that’s what I do a lot in the therapy sessions — make connections between different parts of their lives or something that they may have said before. If anything, they will often hear me ask in the therapy session, “where do you think that belief stems from?” So, I do that to get to the core of where those thought processes are coming from, and that leads us to draw further connections. We figure it out together.

What is one of the hardest parts of being a therapist?

I think that seeing people in pain and really having to come to terms with some hard truths in their life is probably the hardest part. I often tell clients that it gets hard before it gets better and to hang in through the process, because sometimes they have to really look at themselves and at their pain points, as we say, and figure out where those thoughts or beliefs originated before they can really get to the core of why that happened, and then to get to how they can change it. But, you have to go through the mud before you get to the other side. I think that’s probably the hardest part for me — helping people and walking with them as they go through the mud.

What do you like the most about being a therapist?

The other side of that, really! Seeing the change once they come through the other side and they start to make changes and think differently. All of that is rewarding for me, to see people just respond differently, react differently, and think of things differently. The change that I see in clients is really the best part. We don’t always get to see it, because sometimes the change can happen ten years down the road after they’ve seen you, but every once and a while we get to see that glimpse live.

What are common challenges that your clients face? What is an area or are areas of specialty you have?

I like to see teens and early adults, and some common challenges that they have are anxiety, depression, phase of life transitions, and trauma. I find that especially with trauma, people have gone through trauma, but sometimes they don’t always realize that’s what it is. And so, in digging through some of those hard feelings, I think that in therapy we give context to what some of those feelings are, and then they can work through it. Those are some of the common issues.

What do you want/is your hope for your clients?

My hope is that when they look back on their time throughout therapy, that they won’t remember me or anything that I said in particular, but that they will act differently and think differently. I hope they will have that change still with them, but that they won’t necessarily remember me or the therapeutic process. I hope they’ll be more confident in who they are and what they’re looking for, and be strong and a good advocate for themselves. That’s my hope for all of them.

Why is it that you hope they won’t remember you?

Again, it goes back to the fact that it’s their journey. I think of myself just as kind of the medium to get them to their point of change, and so I help them get along in that process. That’s my whole context in how and why I approach therapy — that I want it to be their journey. So, I hope they remember the journey, how they got there, the things they had to dig up, and what they had to go through and think through rather than remembering me as a person or things like that.

What do clients say about working with you?

I’m not sure! I would hope they would say that I made them feel comfortable, safe, and welcome. It’s important to me for therapy to be their space and that they feel comfortable in it. I like to have a conversational tone so we can just talk very comfortably. So, I would like to think that’s what they’d say.

Learn more at https://www.healthandhealingtherapy.com

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How do I know if I need therapy, intensive treatment, or if I should go to the hospital?

It’s important to be an educated consumer of mental health care and to know what is available to you when you need support, help, and care.

When a person has a fever, pain, or notices a change within their body, they know to visit the doctor. When someone breaks a bone, it is well-recognized that the emergency room would be the best place to go. However, when a person is experiencing symptoms of depression, how does one determine whether or not the symptoms are severe enough for hospitalization, rather than outpatient therapy? These two can look very different, and when asked what the levels of care are available within the mental health care system, a person can usually be met with crickets. Although the stigma surrounding mental health is decreasing, there is still a lot to learn about mental health, mental health care, and more specifically regarding the levels of care within mental health. Different levels of care focus on the intensity, complexity, structure, and support that is provided in the treatment setting (“Levels of Care”, n.d.,). There are three levels of care: Inpatient, Residential, and Outpatient. Each of these vary in severity, complexity, and structure.

Inpatient Care:

Inpatient treatment is typically in a hospital setting for individuals who are experiencing chronic and severe mental illness such as schizophrenia, depression, addiction, or an eating disorder. An individual at this level of care is experiencing severe symptoms that affect their daily functioning at home, school, work, and in their relationships. Individuals will stay in a psychiatric or behavior unit. Individuals that stay inpatient typically meet with therapists, psychiatrists, nurses, and other mental health associates in order to work towards long-term recovery (“Levels of Care”, n.d.,). Treatment in this setting may include individual therapy sessions, group therapy sessions, family therapy sessions, and experiential therapy.

Residential Care:

Residential treatment can manifest in many forms, such as rehab, group homes, and structured living communities. These are settings are more home-like and may have less monitoring than inpatient treatment. Residential programs can be long-term, an alternative to inpatient treatment, or a follow up to inpatient treatment (“Levels of Care”, n.d.,). Residential treatment is typically for individuals who are experiencing severe and persistent mental illness such as schizophrenia, major depression, obsessive compulsive disorder, addiction, or a severe eating disorder. Typically, at this level of care an individual can maintain stability by participating in group therapy, individual therapy, and experiential therapy, as well as by taking medication prescribed by their doctor and/or psychiatrist.

Outpatient Care:

Outpatient treatment can be broken down into several categories that include: partial hospitalization (PHP), intensive outpatient program (IOP), outpatient therapy, support groups, and medication management/psychiatry (“Levels of Care”, n.d.,). Partial Hospitalization Program (PHP): Partial hospitalization programs are a step down from inpatient in which individuals are recommended to attend a structured 5–6 hour daily program scheduled 5 days a week. PHP involves group therapy, individual therapy, and can include family therapy to address mental health, substance misuse, and/or eating disorders (“Levels of Care’, n.d.,).

Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP):

Intensive outpatient treatment is similar to PHP in the sense that IOP also includes individual therapy, family therapy, and group therapy in the hopes to move individuals towards their goals and into their daily routines. However, IOP usually meets 9–12 hours per week, thus 3–4 days or evenings per week in three hour sessions.

Outpatient Therapy:

Outpatient therapy is typically for individuals who are experiencing symptoms that are affecting part of their functioning, whether it is their relationships, work, or areas in daily living with which they are struggling. This is the level of care that we provide at Health and Healing Therapy for children, , and adults, who are struggling with anxiety, depression or need trauma therapy, couples therapy. Usually, individuals in therapy attend once a week and then, once progress is made, these individuals can attend therapy bi-weekly or once a month. Often times ones out patient therapy may include an individual therapy session and a group therapy session where coping skills and support is enhanced.

Support Groups:

Support groups are not considered therapy, as they are usually not facilitated by a therapist but rather peers. Support groups are helpful and provide a safe space for ongoing support with a group off people who have a common issue of concern. There are many different types of support groups that can cover a variety of topics such as bereavement, addiction, grief, and mood disorders. These support groups can be either online or in-person and work towards long term recovery (“Levels of Care”, n.d.,).

Medication Management/Psychiatry:

Medication management, as well as coping strategies that can be learned in therapy, can help treat symptoms of mental illness. Medication can lower the intensity of symptoms for individuals, as well as improve their quality of life (“Psychiatric Medication, 2018). Oftentimes, medication management can decrease chances of a relapse or hospital stay, as well as treat symptoms such as mood, concentration, and ability to function with daily living activities. Medication management can be utilized in each treatment setting, from outpatient therapy to inpatient treatment.

We hope this guide is helpful for you in navigating where to start and what level of care you may need. As always, we encourage you to seek a comprehensive mental health assessment by a licensed mental health profession (licensed counselor or licensed social worker). This type of clinical assessment is what we do during our initial therapy session at Health and Healing Therapy in Bartlett, Illinois. This session helps the therapist determine what type of care would be most beneficial for you. This is often the first step as you seek more mental health wellness and care in your life.

Learn more at https://www.healthandhealingtherapy.com

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Passive Social Media Usage and Ways to Combat It

At times, it feels like we have access to entire worlds at our fingertips — all through the use of our smartphones. Our phones have fantastic capabilities, allowing us to document important moments through photos, navigate our way around a new town, or make dinner reservations instantly without speaking to a soul. They can even play matchmaker, using complex algorithms to assist us in finding a significant other. With the rise of the smartphone and its normalized presence in our daily lives alongside social media platforms like Twitter, Tumblr, TikTok, and Instagram, it’s natural to wonder about the effects social media has on us — specifically, the effects it has on our mental health.

Undoubtedly, there are endless benefits from using social media. These can include connecting with friends or family who live hundreds of miles away, making new friends by bonding over similar interests, or even paying your bills at the tap of a finger. However, for every upside, there is a downside as well. Some cons of using social media are exposure to cyberbullying, giving your followers access to too much private information, and constantly comparing ourselves to others, something which can affect our self-esteem. Although social media has its pros and cons, when asking how it impacts our mental health, the main determining factor is how we as a society use social media. Are we using it to connect, or are we using it to compare ourselves to others? Are we engaging in discussions with our friends/family, or do we find ourselves passively scrolling? Is it healthy and enjoyable for us, or do we feel like we are wasting time on social media?

At one point or another, most of the clients I work with have reported frustration regarding how often they use their phones, specifically with how often they find themselves passively scrolling through social media. Although it can be exciting to catch up with others and connect with old friends, there comes a point when many of us catch ourselves scrolling through apps for an extended period of time with no intention behind that scrolling. Once you realize this is happening, it can be disappointing since you might feel you could have allocated that time for something more worthwhile or enjoyable — nonetheless, it still can be difficult to put our phones down and focus on what is happening in front of us. In order to be more mindful of our time and how we choose to spend it, we can work towards decreasing our social media usage and controlling those passive scrolling moments. Here are a few ways to combat passive social media usage:

1. Set a Timer: Passive social media consumption typically occurs after a person has finished engaging in conversation with others on a social media platform — this is the prime time for when mindless scrolling can begin. To decrease passive social media usage, it can be helpful to set a timer to limit the amount of time you spend on various platforms. Many apps and smartphones, such as Instagram and the iPhone, have built-in features which allow you to set a goal for how much time you wish to spend using an app and will send you a reminder once you have reached the desired amount of time using that application. Notifications like these can be extremely helpful as they interrupt passive scrolling, revert your mind to the present, and can actively ask you if you want to continue using social media.

2. Limit the Number of People You Follow: The more people and accounts you follow on various social media, the more information, lives, and news there are for you to keep up with. It’s important to manage and review the accounts who follow you, as well as the accounts you follow in order to recognize the people you engage with frequently versus the ones you tend to “creep” on, yet never talk to. Limiting the number of people and accounts you follow can decrease the amount of time you spend looking at others’ photos and also decrease the time spent “creeping” on them. It also puts constraints on the amount of new media to ingest, as well as the type of media — surrounding yourself with a concentrated stream of positive, beneficial content rather than content that makes you feel sad or down on yourself can be very helpful.

3. Turn Your Phone Off: When you realize you’re passively scrolling through social media, one tactic that works immediately is to turn your phone off. This reset can last anywhere from 5 minutes to an hour or more — as long as you would like it to last. Additionally, turning your phone off in social settings can also prevent you from checking it for social media notifications. Thus, it allows you to truly be in the moment with your friends or family. This is a great tactic to use when hanging out with friends and/or while eating dinner with family in order to focus intentionally on the time spent with them rather than on your phone.

Social media is designed to constantly engage and entice us to scroll for hours, but with these simple tricks, you can gain power over the applications and better control where you are spending your time, energy, and attention. By limiting your usage, putting constraints on the content you see, and being aware of the present, you may also find an improvement in your mental health. The solution is not necessarily to obliterate all social media from your life — a little moderation and mindfulness can go a long way.

Learn more at https://www.healthandhealingtherapy.com

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Ways To Start Practicing Anti-Racism

Ibram X. Kendi once said “The opposite of racist is not ‘not racist.’ It is ‘anti-racist.’”” Within the pages of his book, How to Be an Antiracist, Ibram further explains that being anti-racist involves confronting racial inequities and locates the root of problems in power and policies. Anti-racism is not a stagnant quality, but rather a verb that involves constant action at both the individual and institutional levels, enacting change to ultimately promote equity and dismantle racism at the structural level. You can’t just be anti-racist — you must do it.

While reading, maybe you are asking yourself, how do I do this? Where do I even begin? Fortunately, there are actions we can take individually and collectively in order to dismantle racism and promote equity. These steps involve educating yourself, continuously being open-minded and seeking clarity, and advocating to promote equity.

The first step you can take in being anti-racist is to educate yourself about systemic racism and the black experience as well as the ways that racism can present itself in daily life. This step involves learning, understanding, and recognizing ways to change how racism embeds itself within laws and policies. Learning about historical context also allows us to comprehend how laws and policies create inequity for black individuals. Here is a list of books that focus on anti-racist work:

Ibram X. Kendi — How to Be an Anti-Racist

Reni Eddo-Lodge — Why I’m No Longer Talking to White People About Race

Ijeoma Oluo — So You Want to Talk about Race

Michael Eric Dyson — White Fragility: Why It’s So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism

Reading these books can be the starting point to gaining knowledge and understanding from the page that we can implement concretely into our own lives. Additionally, we can also turn to videos that can help us learn and understand how to be anti-racist, such as these below:

At the individual level, you can start by educating yourself through these different mediums and beginning to have conversations with others about your gained knowledge — however, the work does not stop here. Being anti-racist is a ongoing process that requires us to continue learning, be open-minded, and question what we know in order to keep on seeking understanding and clarity. Intentionally practicing anti-racism requires attentive and continuous action to pursue understanding and knowledge.

At the institutional level, we can work towards being anti-racist by not only educating ourselves on laws and policies that promote inequity, but also by lobbying for the change of those inequitable laws and policies. At a structural level, it is important to dismantle unequal power structures in order to work towards a more equal society.

In the Chicagoland area, there are organizations that work towards this goal by developing policies promoting racial justice — one of these organizations is Chicago Regional Organizing for Antiracism, or Chicago ROAR. Chicago ROAR offers various ways to work towards dismantling systemic racism, including workshops, consulting sessions, and strategic planning sessions. If you live outside the Chicagoland area, a quick Google search can help assist you in finding anti-racist organizations near you. If there are no anti-racist organizations in your area, starting an organization with the help of others can be beneficial for your town/regional area to learn more about anti-racist work and how it impacts the area in which you live.

Personal reflection, gaining knowledge, and having hard conversations are catalysts for anti-racist work. Together, these steps open the doorway for us as individuals to unite and use our knowledge and our voices to work towards putting anti-racist work into action to promote equity.

Learn more at https://www.healthandhealingtherapy.com