hitendertalk

[hitendertalk]

Trapped in His Ice Blue Eyes

The conversation we had was something I couldn’t quite handle. Because in the end, I looked too deeply into your eyes, and all I could think was how much I wanted you to be mine. The way you whispered pulled me into a world of imagination I couldn’t control. Maybe it’s something I should’ve let go of because I know you’re human, and you can leave whenever you want. But the truth is, I never really had a choice.

[hitendertalk]

I never regret said hi to you first on Tinder, then we finally met in person just after 15 mins texting. You're so gentle to me and shared everything that so insightful about life, work, and interest. Glad we're so in tune. Until I fell harder when you kissed me at the beach, under the stars, touched my neck, then the hug so warm in the cold night. Day by day, you called me dear, always hold my hand whenever and wherever, make me feel like I am exist in this world. And after 20 days together, I have to let you go to support your dream, travel the world as much as you can. This is the hardest part. But again, I am so thankful having you and I will always be there for you. The last hug you gave to me, made me cried a lot in my room. And one thing that I realized when you finally left me is.. I love you. I love everything about you. You're almost perfect. I love you.

[hitendertalk]

No matter what the world say, it will always against our feelings, our thoughts, our fate, because first, I like you when you kiss my head because you're so tall. Was thinking that is impossible to reach you. But now I know, the reality, we only have one night stand. The affection that always perfectly happened when it's not in the right place and time.

[hitendertalk]

Those green eyes met mine

Were so beautiful and stole my night

Greet me by big hug that is so warm

Then continued by sweetest kiss also on my head

The talk over things we both like

Just let me lost in your world

Then the gentle touch just like a movie scene

Where so romantic and too good to be true

And makes me want to keep it

In my memories, my head and heart

Even though I know

We're washed away by the reality

- 23 April 2024, Cancer met Libra

wrote by hitendertalk

[hitendertalk]

Admire

The more I talk with him, always I fall so hard Sometimes I don't know how to control myself Like damn I can really do everything for him That's how much I like him as a person Even put myself not in the priority anymore How I respect him is much more than I respect myself That's where I find out I'm wrong I lose myself I lost my value And I lost him also

[hitendertalk]

When I'm extremely tired by promises that people gave to me, I will just ignore every connection start from that time, cause people ain't giving me proves, so better ignore.

[hitendertalk]

"You laughed with me, you even shared a lot of things with me, you also always come back to me, ask if clothes you wear are looks good or not, you even let me order every food and drink for yourself, you put me in every decision you will take, but in the same time, you always choose another girl, everyday it will be different girl, should I be proud that you always put me first while you still looking for another? I am not. You never understand what I really need and why I am still here with you, and now I am tired. I want to quit." - tendertalk, tinder experience

[hitendertalk]

Tired

It's disheartening, every time I open up to men, hoping for a chance, but it always ends with nothing. Conversations flow, moments feel right, I even let them in, only to fall harder when they leave without a second thought. I'm exhausted, it's unjust, women driven by emotions, men by logic. They walk away unfazed, while I'm left grappling with the truth: I want them to stay, their rejection cuts deep. It's clear, I'm not enough, not worthy of the love I crave.

[hitendertalk]

The woman hopelessly said, "You know what, when I love someone, I love harder than you think. I can leave everything behind no matter what. But, one touch from another woman to you can replace me for forever. Is it fair? No."

[hitendertalk]

To be Honest

I met him from an app that is quite unbelievable to have such a long term friendship. But we did and it's almost 2 years. He's so kind even though he is so introvert while I am a person that super energetic in every situation. He looks at me differently like looking at someone that he wants, I knew it from all the conversation we had.

The distance we had quite far, around +14k kilometers and I don't know why we still talking until now. He said he feel so comfortable with me but at the same time I want more. Because we share so much things until I can't hold it anymore.

One day through the chat, I told him, "Hey, I kinda feel something currently. Something that I never felt with others even though we had it physically. I feel too comfortable with you and is it wrong?", then he replied with his style, "What is that? explain to me.", "I feel that I fall for you because I am always with you and when I am at the lowest of my life, you're always there, also when I am happy, you always remind me that I deserved it", "Love", "Maybe", "Do you think we can?", "I feel the same also but our distance might kill us", "Hahaha, then..." "I want you also, but it might takes time, so let's see what will happen", "Okay", Then until now I am still waiting for things that will happen..