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no “carrd.” you learn things about me based on what you can piece together from the vague details of my life I disclose in rare moments of vulnerability

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presence

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Excerpt from "The Online Community: DID and Plurality" by Emily M. Christensen (2021)

"As the online community collaborated across platforms to develop the survey for the PPWC, other more politically correct terms were agreed upon during the voting process prior to the survey. Specifically, the need was to identify terms for certain types of alters (“parts”) that are frequently misunderstood in the clinical setting. One type of alter that needed a more appropriate term was what clinical trainings and presentations often refer to as “animal alters” or “alien alters”. The Plural community decided that it was more appropriate to call these “non-human alters” to be more inclusive, decrease stigma, and make fewer assumptions about them.

Another alter needing a new label for its type was termed “fictive” − a word that describes an alter that is what books and manuals would have referred to as an “introject” in the 1980s − which was forty years ago, and before more than half of the online community was even born. This, however, has become a distinction between those with dissociative disorders, who may have an “introject” as a psychodynamic process related to family of origin abuser or experi- ence, and a Plural who has an internalized “fictive” that mirrors a character from media such as movies, anime, or video games.

The appearance of fictives in the community is significant. In part, it simply reflects a change in cultural references. It has been four generations since the diagnosis was formally established, and young people now provides a very different presentation than those who grew up in the 1940s or 1950s or 1960s, but this makes them no less legitimate. However, this author proposes it also reflects the relational ruptures due to the shift in parenting practices over the last two decades − while primary caregivers may be abusive in some cases, as has always been true, there is a higher population with relational trauma due to neglect and some of these children create imaginary inner worlds to deal with the lack of presence of attachment figures (Sándor al., 2021). In this way, fictives are, in part, at times, substitute introjects, and then the related rich inner worlds are further developed through maladaptive daydreaming (Somer, 2002, 2015, 2016a, 2016b)."

Link

Additional note: I am not interested in syscourse, nor is this post intended to be endorsement or opposition to any particular claim revolving around plurality, multiplicity or DID. This post is primarily to share that this paper exists and to encourage conversation around it.

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complex therapy place said i was too complex to be treated by them. love my complexes #mycomplexes

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whoops lost myself for about eight years there

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Working on a Notion template for DID/OSDD! Be on the lookout for that :3c

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It’s difficult to figure out exactly what is and what isn’t an acceptable and shareable experience versus something that is actually traumatic or distinctly not normal and it’s a barrier I face a lot when it comes to making friends. I don’t know what’s okay to share because I don’t know what exactly is okay or normal and so I don’t end up sharing anything at all. I think it will improve with time when I have lived longer and have had more positive experiences in my life, but right now it’s a pain in the ass trying to figure out.

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my therapist suggested i imagine my intrusive thoughts in the voice of donald trump bc i do not possess an ounce of respect for him or trust in his competence. going thru it today so i made this. hope this helps

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*staring sternly into the mirror* you've had a wild week, you haven't eaten today, you've barely interacted with people today. do not trust the Vague Sense of Unease

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As much as I want to be ready for healing at this point in time I also know I’m on the precipice of a potential major life shift that would require me to handle a lot of things simultaneously in order to not be homeless and for once I am glad that I have DID for allowing me to at least pretend I have my shit together until the next year or so rolls over

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you see the funny part about this is that they didn't go back to sleep on a bed after this they just got a hoodie and a pillow and continued sleeping on the floor

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It is a little funny that almost every time I have trouble with denial I get brainblasted symptoms-wise generally soon after. There is probably a correlation there that I’m missing there but I find it mildly comical

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been watching severance and enjoying analyzing it from the lens of CDDs. i find the way they talk about emotions and how different parts of self are addressed very relatable…don’t want to spoil anything here but would love to write about it sometime. i miss writing papers and think it would be fun to do one on this

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I think everyone who joined a system discord server in their teenage years should be entitled to financial compensation

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being a system is annoying sometimes because you'll be like "this doesn't matter now :) that's a problem that only past me has :)" and then past you shows up like

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One of my least favorite parts about DID is even when I have stable and secure connections I can still feel remarkably disconnected from everyone in my surroundings for weeks. Thankfully the people who are close to me are very understanding when I am feeling really withdrawn or shut down but I always fear that one day I won’t ever regain that feeling of connection. Most things with DID that impact my well-being suck but I can mostly be okay with but I loathe when my experiences impact others

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i listened to my body and it's asking for substances