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Keep your butt to yourself, sir.

Anonymous submitted: 

 We had a visitor write an angry review about our historic house museum, giving us 2 stars, stating: “It blew, there were tons of chairs but I wasn’t allowed to sit on any of them. It’s great if you like going places where you aren’t allowed to touch anything. WOULD NOT RECOMMEND.“ 

 Sorry you weren’t allowed to put your butt on enough of our stuff.

__________________

Editor: This made me think, “What factors actually go in to a 1 or 2 star museum review?” So I drank some whiskey and looked up some reviews of well-known museums on TripAdvisor and Yelp and then I felt the need to drink some more. Of course, everyone is entitled to their opinion and art is very subjective, so some of the low rates reviews I give a pass for personal preference, agree to disagree and all that. Some even felt justifiable, based on staff or communication failures (though those also need to be taken with a grain of salt). However, the reviews below made my eyes involuntarily roll and my hand involuntarily reach for a drink. 

The Met gets 1 star because, though the art is great, the cafe is too expensive. 

But the Walters got 2 stars for the same reason. 

Know what the problem is with the Boston Children’s Museum? There’s WAY too many children there.  

The National Gallery of Art (US) gets 2 stars for not representing more European artists like European museums do. This is the National Gallery of the UNITED STATES. 

The Denver Art Museum gets 1 star for making people dizzy.

MoMA = GARBAGE and this person knows because they are a better artist than all the artists of MoMA.  

The Art Institute of Chicago Museum got 1 star because parking is too expensive, and no museum is worth expensive parking. 

The Smithsonian Air and Space Museum gets 1 star for fake monkeys, while the Smithsonian Natural History Museum gets 2 stars for just being full of boring stuffed animals, says this person with terrible spelling skills and no grasp of irony. 

There’s probably tons more, but that’s when I fell asleep on my couch hugging a bottle of Jack Daniels like it was a teddy bear. 

[huzzahwhat-blog]

Someone: So what is your biggest fear?

Me: Peter Jackson is allowed to make a movie adaptation of the Silmarillion. All the characters are white dudes. There are 45 parts and still all the relevant plot is left out. Lúthien is turned into Action Girl who will need saving during the climax. Mîm is only there for comic relief. Feanor is shown 0.2 seconds during the prologue. Everybody who is not in the Lay of Leithian or the Narn gets erased. Somehow, Legolas is there.

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after a long week...

sometimes the only thing for it is to curl up in your bed, wrap yourself around a mug of camomile tea and turn on Nuremberg Trial documentaries...

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quick reminder: this exists

CIOLI, Valerio Fountain of the Dwarf Pietro Barbino 1561-68 Marble Galleria Palatina (Palazzo Pitti), Florence

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Charles Courtney Curran, The Goldfish

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“Arranged marriage” (1862) by Vasily Pukirev, Tretyakov Gallery.

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What's ur opinion on the 2005 p&p?

FUCK THIS MOVIE. I HATE THIS MOVIE. There is so much whack shit in this film:

the five sisters are KEIRA KNIGHTLEY, amy dunne, johanna mason, carey mulligan of ‘drive’, doctor who episode ‘blink’ and being the future mom of a mumford’s son fame, and the main girl from st trinians???? WHAT KIND OF WHITE PEOPLE PERFECTION their dad is president snow and their mum was vera in noted television procedural vera???? OKAY

DARCY IS 6’2

MR BINGLEY WAS OCTAVIUS IN ROME AND ALSO HAS THE CHEEKBONES OF A TOLKIEN ELF

JUDI DENCH 

this movie is just Joe Wright Period Period Piece but it is THE EPITOME OF THIS VERY SPECIFIC GENRE. HE’S NOT GONNA TOP THIS AND HE NEEDS TO STOP TRYING the panning shot of the peak district??? ‘Liz On Top Of The World’ plays in the bg it’s the ULTIMATE. 

HOT LIZARD KING WICKHAM

and okay i love how this movie shows the bennets as an actual FAMILY

like they’re messy and tactile and they talk over one another it’s so genuine

AND I LOVE THEIR HOUSE WITH THE CREEPING VINES

and okay the COSTUMES IN THIS MOVIE OH MY GODDD

everyone’s white gowns in the netherfield ball scene? YOOOOOO

honestly the production value of this movie is nuts

it’s the AESTHETIC

alright so jane austen novels are awesome and they show a lot about society and relationships in the regency era

and the thing about 2005 pride and prejudice is that it doesn’t only show the verbal sparring/tension between lizzie and darcy

but the sexual tension as well

THE SEXUAL UNDERTONES OF THIS MOVIE

OH MY GOD

IT’S SO FUCKING MUCH

like every interaction is loaded with like sexy LOOKS and body language

and like they don’t even kiss but it’s so obvious they wanna bang

THEY WANT TO BANG

SO

BAD

it’s like raw magnetism

it’s something people would write ridiculous articles in cosmo about

like that bit where darcy helps lizzie into the carriage???????

HE HELPS HER UP

(IT’S THE 1800S, PEOPLE DONT TOUCH)

she looks at him, scandalised

HE WALKS AWAY, FLEXING HIS HAND AS IF IT’S BURNING

ROMANCE

there’s this scene where lizzie and darcy are dancing in a crowded room but they’re so focused on each other the other people LITERALLY MELT AWAY

LIKE THEY’RE THE ONLY TWO PEOPLE IN THE GOD DAMN UNIVERSE

(sidebar: HER HAIR IN THIS SCENE. GOD DAMN.)

also THE TRACKING SHOT THROUGH THE PARTY OH MY GOD 

and okay, like

let’s not even GET INTO the declaration scene

after a heavy dose of SEXILY AVOIDING EACH OTHER’S GLANCES IN CHURCH the sexual tension crescendos

UNDER THE AWNING OF SOME ANCIENT RUIN

IN THE POURING RAIN

he advances; he admits his love

she REBUKES him

affronted, he insults pretty much everything about her

she responds but rebuking him again but WORSE

but the sexual tension’s still there

there’s just the noise of the rain

the air between them is so charged it could power like

a small city probably

THEY’RE SUPER CLOSE

NO TOUCHEY

AND THEN

HE LEANS FORWARD, EYES LOCKED ON HER LIPS

HE’S GONNA KISS HER

SHE WANTS HIM TO KISS HER

HE DOESN’T KISS HER

THE 

FUCKING

TENSION

I CAN’T EVEN WATCH THIS BIT HONESTLY

and she regrets it immediately after and then he DROPS OFF THE LETTER AND SHE’S JUST SITTING THERE IN SHOCK REALLY

I KNOW BABE. I KNOW

and it’s the kind of movie you can rewatch a hundred times and it’s still as amazing as the first time and you pick up all these little things you missed

it was like my 20th watch when i realised that mary is in love with mr collins

and ok THE LIVING SCULPTURES OF PEMBERLEY SCENE

all the pemberly scenes really like when they show up and lizzie sees this bomb ass house that could’ve been hers and she’s just like, ‘hahahhahahahaha i fucked up, i fucked up. i fucked up so bad im sorry, im trash’

AND WHEN SHE MEETS GEORGIANA AND SHE LOOKS AT LIZZIE AND DARCY LIKE SMIRK.EMOJI

she knows

and the scene where DARCY AND BINGLEY PRACTICE WHAT HE’S GOING TO SAY TO JANE

REGENCY SOFT BRO AF

and the scene before when the bennets rush to make themselves look presentable and it’s sooooo awkward and forced HONESTLY THEY ARE THE BEST

AND JANE AND BINGLEY LOWKEY OTP FINALLY GETTING TOGETHER

AND JANE STANDING THERE IN THE SUNBEAM LOOKING LIKE A LITERAL ANGEL AND TEARS IN HER EYES AS SHE SAYS YES

and then

DARCY

LOOKING LIKE SOME FABIO SHIT

WALING ACROSS THE MOORS

TO HER

WHAT THE HELLLLLL

THE MUSIC SWELLS

HE’S RUGGED

‘YOU MUST KNOW… SURELY YOU MUST KNOW IT WAS ALL FOR YOU’

s t o p

and lizzie is standing there with her artfully messy hair

'YOU HAVE BEWITCHED ME, BODY AND SOUL, AND I LOVE YOU

I LOVE YOU

I LOVE YOU’

good BYE

and she kisses his hands? NOOOOOOO

THEY GONNA BANG SO MUCH

i keep this movie on every device i have in case i need an emergency pick me up

once i watched this with dinner at night and when it finished the dvd was on a loop and it started playing again…. and i watched it again… twice

[huzzahwhat-blog]

Be Impeccable with Your Word. Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.Don’t Take Anything Personally. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.Don’t Make Assumptions. Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.Always Do Your Best. Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.

Don Miguel Ruiz. The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom (via wordsnquotes)

everyone needs to read this book

(via symphonyofthecosmos)

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https://youtu.be/X7P5sk8r4es

(via cute corgi puppies want to eat camera　/ カメラを食べたいコーギー子犬 20150613 Part 3 welsh corgi slow motion - YouTube)

BECAUSE

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MRW its nearing the end of the fiscal year, our biggest annual gala is tomorrow and the director keeps allocating extraneous fundraising expenses.

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It’s never a bad time for a Miyazaki food gif.

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It works. 10/10 would recommend

HOW TO CHEER UP IN 2 EASY STEPS

WHISPER “BEEP BOOP” TO YOURSELF.

REPEAT UNTIL NOT SAD.

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Things French parents say to their kids

When we forget to turn off a light: C’est pas Versailles ici ! Hey, we’re not in Versailles !

When we stand between them and something they want to see: Et ton père, il est vitrier ? Is your father a glazier?

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Cute illustrations by Ms. Cat

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Recovery: The First Step in Preservation

You can’t preserve what you don’t have. In some cases, acquiring or recovering records is anything but simple. For a series of nearly photographic negatives and prints created by the Economic Cooperation Administration (ECA), this was the case. The photographs documented economic recovery in Western Europe after World War II under the Marshall Plan. When the U.S. Agency for International Development (USAID) transferred 31,000 negatives and prints in 1973, it was not until Archives staff completed processing that they discovered that an extensive and important part of the series was missing. There was no sign of the French portion of the file, and even after a consultation with USAID the file’s location remained a mystery. It would take 40 years before the alienated French file was recovered and brought to the National Archives for preservation. In 1984, researcher Linda Christenson, who was doing research for a Marshall Plan documentary for the Marshall Foundation, discovered the lost file in the hands of a commercial photography company in Paris. Until 2013, the National Archives was unsuccessful in retrieving the files. Through the hard work of NARA’s Archival Recovery Team, Ed McCarter (formerly of the Still Picture Branch), Jeff Landou (Office of General Counsel), and Frank Cordes (National Archives Foundation) who acted as the French interpreter, and the support of the Marshall Foundation in Lexington, Virginia and the U.S. State Department and U.S. Embassy in Paris, the owner of the commercial company agreed to transfer the collection to the National Archives.   In June 2013, the NARA team traveled to Paris to survey and box up the collection of nearly 23,000 images for transport back to the United States. The boxes arrived at Archives II in College Park, MD in July 2013 and almost immediately three projects were started to digitize the negatives and corresponding indexes and caption lists. First the negatives were properly arranged and re-housed by Still Picture staff member Chanel Sutton. In the fall of 2013, the first batches of negatives were sent to the National Archives Photographic Lab for scanning. Over 15 months, the lab scanned and performed quality control on 22,913 negatives. Scanning not only provides increased access as the images are uploaded into the online catalog, but minimizes future handling of the negatives and ensures their longevity. The initial pilot workflow for the project was devised by Sheri Hill with Cecilia Epstein coordinating the workflow and PT Corrigan performing quality control on all batches. Most of the scanning and photographic adjustments were done by Amy Young, Cecilia Epstein, Jerry Thompson, Mimi Shade, Roscoe George, and Sheri Hill with assistance from student employee Chantise Hawkins and volunteer Jordan Murek. Also pitching in when workloads permitted were Carolyn Anderson, Carlita Earl, Lywanne Young, and Rebecca Sullivan. For more on the recovery of the Marshall Plan negatives and the digitization project, see The Unwritten Record: http://blogs.archives.gov/unwritten-record/2015/04/13/photographs-relating-to-the-marshall-plan-and-post-wwii-economic-recovery-in-france/

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1. You have a lot of professional/adulting commitments. Like a LOT. And a lot of them no one will know about (unlike grades) so you have to learn to prioritize and be proud of yourself for accomplishing things that are scary/new.

2. You can’t please everyone. Ever. So take...

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Art History in Daily Life

Artist: Alexey Kondakov