hypnoticsystem

[hypnoticsystem]

thought it over more. its definitely not my first time co-conning. it felt way too familiar. and i think thats why i didnt realize it until he spoke.

I guess the signs of plurality were always there. I just didn't recognize them. Or dismissed them. I'm still struggling to take this seriously and not "its all in my head" it away. —💤

had a weird as fuck first-experience (possibly? maybe not?) co-conning today. Long story short I got really pissed off when a friend was talking about a shared ex friend, bellamy ended up co-conning and i had a massive wave of anger. I didn't even realize it first. I think I realized it 10? 15 minutes later? When I heard Bellamy speak up. I don't even remember what he said. But my head was in agonizing pain the entire time and when he left, i was left with a terrible headache. thumbs up. —💤

[hypnoticsystem]

had a weird as fuck first-experience (possibly? maybe not?) co-conning today. Long story short I got really pissed off when a friend was talking about a shared ex friend, bellamy ended up co-conning and i had a massive wave of anger. I didn't even realize it first. I think I realized it 10? 15 minutes later? When I heard Bellamy speak up. I don't even remember what he said. But my head was in agonizing pain the entire time and when he left, i was left with a terrible headache. thumbs up. —💤

[hypnoticsystem]

Being both the host and a trauma holder feels like 50-70 roman senators are taking turns stabbing me to death except I gotta get up and and get dressed bc I have a class in 30 minutes —Hypnos💤

[hypnoticsystem]

Hello.

Our host has left the front. He continues to try to uncover and decipher old memories, ones which he hardly even can recall. He is too concerned over certainty. I care for him, but he is troubling himself and all of us with his actions. It is putting too much burden on the system. For now, I have taken his place.

I truly wish he would take this slower. He is rushing. — Annabelle 🌼

[hypnoticsystem]

Hey. Some small updates.

For starters, our Susie has been hanging around the front most of the day. She's been mostly commenting on random stuff, but other than that, not really trying to take the front or nothing.

However, earlier Susie took the front from me while a friend was streaming Deltarune, n when I came back, it was dark out. As Susie was leaving the front, she said something about "Missing Ralsei". And now she's just not lingering around the front like she has been most of the day. I'm really worried about her, but I'm opting to give her space (I'm pretty sure I can't intrude on her wherever she went anyway, but regardless, I don't want to). I'm just extremely worried about her, and I hope whenever she pops back up we can have a conversation about it.

I've been struggling with internal communication, I've said that already, but Susie has been like. the first person I could hear clearly and consistently. So I'm just. Yeah. If I can talk her through this, I want to. —Hypnos 💤

[hypnoticsystem]

Okay. I literally just made our intro post last night and already I gotta add a new alter to the list because Susie? From Deltarune is in our brain? I'm not a big fan of Deltarune. how did this happen. She's called Bellamy a freak and me a loser and now she's just up and fucked off. what —Hypnos 💤 he/it

[hypnoticsystem]

Okay. Hello. Hypnos currently speaking.

So. hey. Newly discovered system. Waves. Been doing a lot of internal reflection.

In my personal intro, I mentioned that I do not believe I am the original host of this system. For a while I have felt disconnected from our child self, I have felt she and I were simply two very different people. Prior to the whole syscovery, I assumed this was due to me being trans. I've come to realize its likely that is not the case.

I recall a sudden shift happening around the age of 13/14. Suddenly things felt different, I felt very different, and I namely did not feel like the girl I was being told I was. I did not understand what this meant at the time, of course, but as a result, I tried to force myself into the image that was projected onto me.

I also recall memories prior to that, though they feel almost alien. I never stopped to really think what that could have meant, if I'm being honest. Furthermore, the signs of our plurality have been there, but were dismissed as this or that - I thought it was a psychotic episode (as we are schizophrenic as well), I thought when I was younger I was just "really good" at playing pretend in my head, and thats why the voices up there were so engaging. I am not sure whether most of those voices have gone dormant or not, and I suspect I will not know unless I somehow manage to strengthen our internal communication (which, as of now, is... Not great.)

There is one alter I know for certain has existed for a while now, which is Annabelle. She first spoke up when I was around 15, providing support for me through one of the worst times of my life, before her voice vanished — At that point, I knew what a dissociative disorder, and I thought this was a sign I had one. But, after her voice disappeared, I was then convinced I had simply faked it, and that Annabelle was simply never real. This was not the case, and I honestly could not be any happier that it turned out not to be true.

I am struggling as the host. I'm not exactly the most sure of what I should do — I feel like I have to undertake something. I have a journal for our personal communication, as again, internal communication is weak. I created this blog specifically so we could document this as we live it, and so we could maybe connect with other systems. I'm trying every night to strengthen my ability to communicate with the others, and there are times where it's better. It's just, with this sudden realization of being a host, I feel very much like I am not doing enough for the rest of the system.

i don't know. I am very tired currently, and I think I'm gonna head to sleep. this was just a jumbled mess of thoughts anyway. See ya. —Hypnos 💤 he/it

[hypnoticsystem]

Intro post: Hypnos 💤

Okay. Hello! I'm Hypnos, the current host of our system and a memory holder. I'm 21, about to be 22, and I go by many pronouns, but the main ones include He/him and it/its. I will likely be the main person posting on this blog, as I aim to keep track of occurrences in the system and perhaps to connect to other systems on this website! I will sign off my posts with both my name and my designated emoji 💤

You may find the system intro post here!

While I am the current host of the system, I have been coming to terms with the fact that I am most likely not the original host. I have my suspicions the original host went dormant around the age of 13-14, and that is around when I took her place.

Since then, I had suspicions that I was not alone, which ended up proven true not too long ago.

But, enough about my Deep Brooding Past! What about some fun facts on ME!!!!

Massive fan of One Piece, FMA, TEW, don't be shocked if you ever hear me going on some passionate rambles about them (Though, those will probably be contained to my art and writing blogs!)

like i just said. I DRAW!!! My current pfp was drawn by yours truly, and I'll likely be drawing all the art for any members of the system, aside from the drawings (or. scribbles in some cases) I'll be basing the art off of, which are drawn by the members themselves.

I have aphantasia! Or pretty close to it.

I currently have a passion project I've worked on since I was 16! The process is slow as intermittent hyperfixation, college work, and other life stuff makes it hard to work on, but its a strong love of mine and I wish to eventually do something with it :)

Now- About my PERSONAL boundaries, honestly, it's hard to name them all. Don't worry about them much, because if you violate any of my boundaries, I promise you, you'll be made aware. Don't let this make you feel like you're "walking on eggshells" - You aren't, I just struggle to craft lists really, especially when it comes to my personal boundaries as I have struggled with grasping I am allowed to even have them all my life. So if you happen to cross one, I'll just outright tell you.

Also, personally, I don't really draw myself all that much, so I don't really have any images to slap here or anything (and I'm certainly not going to share photographs of my real face). However, future intro posts may contain drawings done by me or the alters themselves!

Alright, that's all from me. See ya. —Hypnos 💤

[hypnoticsystem]

THE HYPNOTIC SYSTEM

Hello! I am Hypnos, a very recently discovered system.

Just to cut to the chase, I'm making this blog as one of a few methods I'm using to document our steps through this very big discovery (which, to my understanding, seems to have upset the entire system to some degree). Underneath the cut will be the names and pronouns of every member of the system I, THE HOST, am aware currently exist and are active.

Alright. let's just get right into it. So, clicking on one of our names will bring you to individual intro posts for that member. Though, at the time of writing this, I'll probably only have my own personal intro post up. FURTHERMORE, I'm not sure I'll be able to convince every single member to make their own intro post, and I also can't just... Control my switches, so intro posts will come at the system's leisure. To mitigate any confusion, I'll also be prepping the system a sheet to fill out as a guide if they have difficulty (as some members seem to not quite understand certain concepts). It's possible I will also simply have them write down information about themselves, and I'll write them up an intro post myself.

Hypnos (He/it) (Current host) 💤

Prince (They/them) ⭐️

Bellamy (He/him) ☠️

Annabelle (She/any) 🌼

Stefano (He/him)

Hazard (He/him)

Cecil (Currently unknown)

Susie (She/her) 🪓

Please note that any alters who do not have emojis have not yet fronted in order to assign themselves a symbol in our shared journal! (For example, in our journal, Annabelle denotes herself with a simple flower, Prince a star, n Bellamy uses a skull)

Selim (Currently unknown)

Envy? (Currently unknown)

I will inform the rest of the system that, if they post on this blog, to sign off with their name or the emoji denoting them, however they may already grasp the concept as we have a journal system in place currently. If someone posts and does not sign off on it, I will likely try to deduce who it was, and edit the post after I return to the front. I may also add tags after the fact, specifically clarifying any of the posts contents if need be, who was fronting, what their pronouns are, so on and so forth. (That is, if I have an answer! I may not have an answer, as internal communication isn't the best)

I said already I am a very recently discovered system. This means I'm still figuring myself out and still trying to establish decent communication with the rest of the system. I do not know how many of us are in here, and from the amount of voices I hear during dissociative episodes, I suspect this list is far from being comprehensive.

Also — Please do not inquire about what dissociative disorder we have. I'm not bothered by the question, but I honestly cannot provide an answer for you. All I know is that we are a system at the moment. I also earnestly do not want to participate in any discourse on being a system, so please, do not involve any of us in that.

On an ending note. Please, and I mean this, please do not ask any of us what our trauma is. We may speak on our trauma on our own terms, and that is our choice, however it may end up causing blurriness or a switch. I, the host, would like to avoid negative switches when we can, as we have enough negative switches as it is. Thank you for understanding. —Hypnos💤

Other collective boundaries may be added to this post as we discover them. Otherwise, individual boundaries for every alter may be found in their intro posts, if they have an intro post. If not — Don't worry about it, we'll figure it out.