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calling birth control pills “birth control pills” is clear and all, but it’s a huge missed opportunity.

they should be called anti-dependents.

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Imagine one day while Keith and Lance are sparring Lance notices that he’s beginning to lose, and like hell he was gonna lose to Keith Kogane again

so without thinking or even considering the aftermath when his and keiths swords clashed and they began pushing against eachother he decided to use his special tactic…

He looked directly into Keiths eyes and smirked

“Hey gorgeous~ come here often?”

And Keiths face went RED but before Lance could dwell on it for long Keith fumbled with his sword, for a second Lance felt victorious

That is Until he realized the amount of force he was putting on Keith was a little much and actually made him fall forward

Suddenly the two of them are on the ground, Keith letting out a grunt as a Lance sized weight landed directly on his chest and Lance instantly lifted himself

Panic immediately began to fill his chest as he watched Keith begin to recover

“Quiznack-! Sorry Keith I didn’t-“

“WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?”

Keiths yell definitely took Lance off guard but Lance didn’t miss how his words had basically Zero bite to them, if Lance was hearing right, he might say Keith actually sounded flustered, and THAT definitely entertained Lance to no end to the point his smug grin instantly returned to his face, and instead of answering normally he decided to have a little fun

“Just a small distraction,” lance started nonchalantly, “I wasn’t expecting you to fall for me like this though, does this mean I win?”

Keiths eyes widened for a moment as his blush reached his ears but his shocked expression instantly turned into one of embarrassment then anger as he tried his best to hide how he was currently feeling

“S-SHUT UP LANCE! AND GET OFF ME!”

Lance let out a lighthearted laugh and grinned victoriously

“Whatever you say mullet.”

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😏 y’all are gonna be late to that meeting

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I really want to throw a gender-reveal party for my eventual child with pink, blue, and (one of the enby colors) fortune cookies, and when everyone opens them, they have messages like:

“Gender is a social construct!”

“Our child is genderless until proven otherwise!”

“You should only care about what’s in our baby’s diaper if you’re going to change it!”

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Roses are red, that much is true, but violets are purple, not fucking blue.

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oh zuzu you poor, clueless thing

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Kinda weird how you say you’re against fascism yet you shut down anyone just because they share a different opinion than you. You guys are exactly what you say you hate... FASCIST! How come I have never seen any member of antifa actually sit down with someone and have a civil debate? I’ve only ever seen them yell and throw tantrums. Doesn’t look good for you guys, yikes.

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From my writeblr

Coffee

Ow

What time?

Good, not late

Five more?

Sure

It’s passed

How’d you sleep?

Cool cool

Now?

Okay

I’ll get up

Which ones?

Here

Ready?

Let’s go, then

Blinds up

Fuck

Coming?

I’ll make some

Which bag?

‘Kay

It’s on

Won’t take long

My turn

Cup

Grinder

That’s enough

Filter

On

Now milk

It’s still good

Nice foam

Pour

Rinse out

Time to sit

Por fin

Ah

Good morning.

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Fellas, is it gay to rearrange your Spotify queue so that “Chromatica II” and “911” always play together?

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I always make the crashing sound when singing along.

Pokémon! It's you and me! [Tentacruel obliterates an entire fucking building] I KNOW IT'S OUR DESTINYYY

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This. All of this. Is what I need in 2020.

Pup interrupts soccer match, gives interview.

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If you can’t reblog this, unfollow me now.

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#LickDontBlow

This won’t make your blog look ugly. How could you not reblog this? REBLOGGING THIS COULD SAVE A LIFE!!!

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GLEO DOESNT DESERVE THIS

Me, logging into Dragalia Lost after the 2-year anniversary update:

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Me, logging into Dragalia Lost after the 2-year anniversary update:

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Shh…be vewy, vewy quiet. We’we hunting the oppwessows.