iblamemycatforit - Tumblr blog

[iblamemycatforit]

Baby noooo 😭😭

[iblamemycatforit]

I'm so fucking tired tbh. Next week the other shift manager and I are gonna have a talk with management and tell them that if things keep going as they're going now we'll both leave. If it doesn't convince them that things are not going okay rn I don't have anything else to give to this place. I feel like I've done everything I can at this point. I'm fucking exhausted. I feel like shit but I can't do this anymore.

[iblamemycatforit]

Me the first time I started texting with my girlfriend.

wanting to talk to people is so fucking embarrassing. literally hi it's me again I wanted to have a conversation with you because I think you're fun to talk to. oh god you can just fucking kill me if you want sorry

[iblamemycatforit]

Panther in the rain.

[iblamemycatforit]

Made kimchi fried rice yesterday and it turned out so good I'm gonna be anxious the next time I make it because how am I gonna replicate that?

[iblamemycatforit]

Every retail and restaurant worker in december

[iblamemycatforit]

Had a nice walk baby?

LOVE when it's properly cold outside (sub zero temps), it somehow transforms from the annoying unpleasantness of 0-10 C into an entirely different feeling

ALSO snow crunching under boots my beloved <3 <3 <3

[iblamemycatforit]

we're having sex and you pull out at the end to discover your cock is entirely gone, dissolved (ive digested it like a pitcher plant). bye!

[iblamemycatforit]

I hope my cat knows that her leaving the food I just put out to come and sit on my lap while I'm taking a pee after getting home from a 14 hour shift means the world to me

[iblamemycatforit]

I love Scott Pilgrim Takes Off even more than I thould I would and one of the main reasons is because of that tweet when someone said something like "I hope there aren't any gays in it" or some shit like that. And like of course I knew there are gonna be gays in it but it's much gayer than I thought it'd be.

[iblamemycatforit]

me messaging a casual acquaintance: hello, how are you?

me messaging a best friend w/zero lead-in:

[iblamemycatforit]

!!!!!

[iblamemycatforit]

Fuck, now I gotta play these games as well

i will never fucking get over this btw imagine being a famous recently widowed (again) 40 year old man who has saved the world twice and you get a letter from your apprentice to come to america to solve a mystery with him and you show up and new york is looking even more fucked up than usual and you just want to see your son again but then he fucking pulls up on your ass in his 1954 honda swag and yolo wagon and tells you to get your elderly ass in the back seat bc the evil steampunk robot militia is about to roll up and then he takes you to some resistance headquarters where they ask luke whos this guy you just snatched from the retirement home and you find out nobody in america fucking knows who you are and your 14 year old son has way more clout than you and everybody just thinks you’re the boy genius’ loser grandpa

[iblamemycatforit]

I'm scloser to 30 than to 20: mid, too obvious, generic way to describe it.

I'm closer to 50 than 0: what the fuck? You're so fucking old.

[iblamemycatforit]

Bingewatching lgbtq+ short movies is it's own kind of rabbit hole. Am I gonna be sad at the end or maybe inspired, excited, angry? Maybe the first 5 are gonna be feel good and than youtube throws a curveball at me and change the mood completely? I have no way of knowing until I watched them and I kinda love it but also kinda hate it.

[iblamemycatforit]

11 day (short) update:

My nips are probably not gonna fall off but they are hurty pepperonis. What I thought might be an infection is part of the normal helaing process. I'm gonna get my stitches out next tuesday.

Top surgery update:

I'm officially 2 days post-op. I'm currently at home at my parents house wich is great because it's a village and a lot calmer and quieter than it would be in the capital.

The night in the hospital was the worst part of it I think. I already posted about how I couldn't pee in the bedpan they gave me and how it hurt so much I cried. The worst part of it though was that there wasn't a button for calling the nurse and I had to shout to get their attention and I was in the furthest room from the nurse's station. I was in pain, crying and a bit panicked and I had to shout 5-6 times for them to hear me. It wasn't fun at all.

Now to talk about the better part of it, recovery is going okay so far. Better than I expected tbh. I'm able to mantain a higher level of personal hygiene than I thought I'd be able to. I can wash my hair (I only wash it with water anyway so it's quite easy), I'm able to wash up with a wet towel mostly as well. When I go home on monday I'll probably ask my gf to wash me with a damp soapy towel properly but until then it's good.

I can move around the house without issues. If I put my hand on my chest I'm able to stand straighter and it's more comfortable for my back as well. I'm planning on walking to the pharmacy for some arnica cream for my armpit and the top of my chest where it's above the compession binder but still sensitive to touch. I promised my gf I ask one of my parents to walk with me though.

The pain is actually quite okay. I had some sudden piercing pain in the left side of my chest last night while laying down but it went away when I got into a more reclined position. I'm just taking a regular over the counter pain med 3 times a day and I'm good.

What's really great is that the drains are not filling up much and my doctor said today when I sent her how much was in it that if it keeps going like this, she'll be able to take them out on tuesday. I'm a bit anxious about accidentally pulling them out though.

I think that's it for now. If anything comes up I'll write it down in this post so it's gonna be a long one.

[iblamemycatforit]

10 day update (2023.01.15.):

I got the gauze off my nipples 4 days ago and it was scary as hell. My nipples looked like moldy pepperonis. One thing noone really talks about when talking about recovery is how anxiety inducing the nipple healing process is. It looks so bad and you can't really tell if it's your nipple coming off or scabbing and if it's infected or not. It's awful. I've spent countless hours in the last 3 days reading about nipple necrosis and looking at pictures of healing nips. I wish my surgeon told me to quit smoking soones because that would ease my mind a bit. I stopped a week before surgery and I probably should've stopped sooner to get all the nicotine out of my system but oh well. There's nothing I can do about it now. My surgeon recommends wet healing wich means I have vaseline soaked gauze on my nips 0-24. When changed it takes off some of the nasty gooey scabs. The 2 things I'm worried about the most are the center of my left nipple is still kinda dark grey/blackish and I don't know if it's because that part didn't take or it's just how it heals. Also on my left I've got a small past where it looks like there's some puss on it and I don't know if I should be worried about it being infected. Tbh that part wasn't completely under the gauze for the first week and it was a bit dryer so it might just be how the dry part heals but idk. I don't have an appointment yet but I'll probably have my stitches taken out sometimes during next week around the 2 week point. If the parts I'm worried about don't change during the next 2 days I'll talk to my surgeon about it.

Otherwise I'm doing fine. The long horisontal scars look good and my chest doesn't really hurt at all (for now). I feel pretty damn useless tho which is a very shitty feeling but I'll get through it eventually. I'm starting to feel like I have a bit more energy during the day and that's pretty cool.

Top surgery update:

I'm officially 2 days post-op. I'm currently at home at my parents house wich is great because it's a village and a lot calmer and quieter than it would be in the capital.

The night in the hospital was the worst part of it I think. I already posted about how I couldn't pee in the bedpan they gave me and how it hurt so much I cried. The worst part of it though was that there wasn't a button for calling the nurse and I had to shout to get their attention and I was in the furthest room from the nurse's station. I was in pain, crying and a bit panicked and I had to shout 5-6 times for them to hear me. It wasn't fun at all.

Now to talk about the better part of it, recovery is going okay so far. Better than I expected tbh. I'm able to mantain a higher level of personal hygiene than I thought I'd be able to. I can wash my hair (I only wash it with water anyway so it's quite easy), I'm able to wash up with a wet towel mostly as well. When I go home on monday I'll probably ask my gf to wash me with a damp soapy towel properly but until then it's good.

I can move around the house without issues. If I put my hand on my chest I'm able to stand straighter and it's more comfortable for my back as well. I'm planning on walking to the pharmacy for some arnica cream for my armpit and the top of my chest where it's above the compession binder but still sensitive to touch. I promised my gf I ask one of my parents to walk with me though.

The pain is actually quite okay. I had some sudden piercing pain in the left side of my chest last night while laying down but it went away when I got into a more reclined position. I'm just taking a regular over the counter pain med 3 times a day and I'm good.

What's really great is that the drains are not filling up much and my doctor said today when I sent her how much was in it that if it keeps going like this, she'll be able to take them out on tuesday. I'm a bit anxious about accidentally pulling them out though.

I think that's it for now. If anything comes up I'll write it down in this post so it's gonna be a long one.