idioticbat

[idioticbat]

da pacem domine, in diebus nostris quia non est alius qui pugnet pro nobis nisi tu deus noster.

birthday gift for @coseulidi

[idioticbat]

da pacem domine, in diebus nostris quia non est alius qui pugnet pro nobis nisi tu deus noster.

birthday gift for @coseulidi

[idioticbat]

"not what i expected when you said you were going to lock tf in"

[idioticbat]

Aqua-cyber creature is available for offers. Looking for something around $100-$170.

[idioticbat]

they don't really have smartphones on ebhorata but what if

[idioticbat]

partner made me watch the first two men in black films and it felt watching two 90-minute long tf2 sfm brainrot videos

also i really liked the cockroach man in the first film for some reason lmao

[idioticbat]

hi! here is the second pack of flat colored portraits; it was nice to return to the already explored format with completely new characters. but as you can see the places on the left top and right top are empty!

so... would anyone like to grab a slot?

0/2

~$60

i draw such commissions during my break from big commissions; i spend just half a day-a day on one portrait, so your character will be ready quickly!

[idioticbat]

update update

Hello again everyone. Ten days ago i started biologic medication for my spondylitis, and it's slowly starting to work - standing still is not so painful anymore, waking up and getting out of bed is getting easier every day, and i don't wake up at night from pain either. My doctor said it should take between four and twelve weeks for the medication to start working fully, but in the meantime i've been trying to get back into my routine, start exercising and drawing regularly again, something i hadn't done in two months. It's also a bit tough because i have to stop three other medications i was taking just to be able to stay awake and sleep without so much pain, so there are side effects of that, and there are side effects of the starting dose of the biologic medication, but even with all of that, i'm starting to feel better than i felt over the last many months. While i feel hesitant to say this, i'm hopeful it'll keep working and i'll be able to draw again soon.

Also - thanks everyone for the kind comments on my other posts, here and on other social media =)

[idioticbat]

update thing

So i finally decided it's time for me to stop being stubborn and accept i'll have to take spondyloarthritis medication monthly, for the rest of my life. It's nothing new, to be honest, since I already take HRT and other stuff daily, but i was scared of it after having to take my mom to the hospital for two hours, every three weeks, so she receives multiple sclerosis medication. I've spent the past year and a half, since i got diagnosed, thinking i could manage it with just exercise, but i realised my life has been really miserable since the symptoms started in 2017-2018. The last time i managed to draw something and have fun was in january; the last time i felt okay for more than one week was in 2021; the last time i felt healthy was in 2017.

In the beginning, i thought i was just lazy, and i believed being an adult was having to push through pain and exhaustion every single day, and having motivation to work was something only a few people were lucky to have. The idea that procrastinating is this terrible thing that's your own fault and you have to deal with it, helped me believe it was just my laziness. But the thing is, when i was healthy, i did "procrastinate", but i also did get a lot of stuff done. Now i don't procrastinate, and i don't get anything done either, because i'm kind of dying. In the end, being a workaholic and punishing myself for needing time off only helped my disease get worse.

In 2019 i got depressed and anxious, and looked for help regarding that, but no medication or therapy ever worked for more than a few weeks. I quit that medication in 2021 and was doing better for a while, because, yeah, antidepressants, stimulants and so on were making things worse indeed. I only realised things were terribly wrong in early 2022, when i started feeling dizzy all the time and fainting from exhaustion every couple days, i could barely think anymore and so i couldn't dedicate myself to look for proper help. I thought i might have cancer, then celiac disease, then other stuff i don't even remember, but every blood test would come back normal, except for consistently high inflammation markers, which i was told could be anything from a cold, to cancer, to food allergies, so i should not worry about it; and then it was just another round of medications that didn't work for more than a few weeks.

In 2023 i started having so much pain i became unable to sleep for more than 5-6 hours at a time, but i kept pushing through it. My partner and i moved somewhere else, hoping the problem could be just the humid and cold climate and the old house we lived in, but it didn't help, and it was only by the end of 2023 that i found out that you're not supposed to live with pain this bad, and so in january/2024 i went to a rheumatologist and got diagnosed with ankylosing spondylorthritis. I still downplayed my suffering a lot and tried to keep pushing through, while other terrible stuff happened, such as a cyclone, and then having to run away from where i lived because of a flood. Then, I was offered medication by my doctor a year ago, but decided to just keep trying other things, yet it just kept getting worse. A few months ago, i got diagnosed with asthma as well, and while medication did help a bit, i still spent most of the month of May knocked out, there were a couple weeks where i was so tired i couldn't be awake for more than three hours at a time. When i could wake up, i still needed my partner's help to do everything because i was so tired.

Now i'll be turning 30 in a couple months and i don't care anymore, even if the biologic medication were to give me terrible side effects, im still willing to try, because i haven't really been living for the past many years. It's been just get sick → look for treatment → get well for a week or two → repeat. I talked to my rheumatologist yesterday, and now i'm getting the required blood tests and filling in the required paperwork before i can start the medication, which should take from one to three months. Hopefully everything will work out fine and soon i'll be back here posting new art. I'll write another update when something new happens, and when i have energy again. Lastly, thanks everyone who donated last month, it helped me and my partner not be in debt during this rough time.

Sorry if this is all too rambly and incoherent, by the way, it's a bit hard to write anything right now.

[idioticbat]

Wa Wa Waaa 150625.2

With Lilian of @idioticbat showing us the intricacies of slugcat communication!

[idioticbat]

Some of you might have noticed I'm gone, again. Last year i tried a cannabis-based medication for spondyloarthritis and it worked for a while, but then i had to stop after a few months, because it started making me anxious and paranoid. The end of the year went fine without any medication, but then around march i started feeling sick again. My partner changed jobs in december, and we have a new health insurance that's basically useless where we live, so we had to pay for doctor appointments, X-rays, MRI and medication all out of pocket. I also got diagnosed with asthma, on top of the spondyloarthritis and everything else, and the doctor said that, according to my symptoms, it's possible there's a secret third health issue such a heart problem or seizures, if asthma medication doesn't solve it in a couple weeks. We spent a lot of money on a variety of asthma medications, too, because some made it worse after a while, and one straight up gave me psychosis. At least the one i'm on now is slowly starting to work. I hate to ask for money since it's just about US$500 and i'd like to do commissions, but at my current state, i can't even get out of bed without my partner's help, as my spondyloarthritis started flaring up real bad a week after i had my yearly rheumatologist appointment and she said everything was fine. Now i have to schedule another appointment, so i can get proper medication and so on. Meanwhile i just have to wait and stand this pain that even makes it hard to breathe. I don't know what else to write here, but if my art has ever made you feel anything, please donate on ko-fi or follow on patreon, idk. If you send me your social media contact along your donation, i might be able to draw you a doodle once i can think again. https://ko-fi.com/monoxromatik https://www.patreon.com/c/elizabeth_bodaneze

[idioticbat]

hi! i need only 3 more customers to fill the second picture with another 9 characters lol.

so i'll reopen these lovely portraits for $45!

dm pm comment and at cetera ^_^ and of course show your character forward!

[idioticbat]

病

[idioticbat]

BAN ON CONVERSION PRACTICES IN THE EU. GO SIGN IT. DEADLINE IS FUCKING MAY 17. WE'RE STILL MISSING 800.000 signatures. FUCKING DO IT.

[idioticbat]

adventurer

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[idioticbat]

another day, another doctor appointment