imsolostdude

[imsolostdude]

Have you ever spit after brushing your teeth, and there's like a concerning amount of blood. Like not just a little streak in the otherwise white froth from brushing a little rough. But like.... red

Yeah, so i think all my teeth are falling out.

[imsolostdude]

"Thanks for coming. Yes, we're devastated. Snacks are on the left"

Funeral fit: slaying respectfully

[imsolostdude]

Funeral fit: slaying respectfully

[imsolostdude]

Me after watching Superman

[imsolostdude]

Dw, i only kill recreationally, not competitively

Never trust a freak who kills for sport.

[imsolostdude]

I just ate a dead man's cheese. Literally.

[imsolostdude]

Going to the psychologist, trying to get an adhd diagnosis. "We should check you for autism." Mmm, yes, another for the collection.

[imsolostdude]

I fucking hate ikea. My feet hurt, and it just never ends

I fucking LOVE ikea

[imsolostdude]

I fucking LOVE ikea

[imsolostdude]

As someone who relies heavily on spellcheckers, i am ENRAGED

Stop turning my incomprehensible nonsense to worse incomprehensible nonsense!!

"you can use ai to improve spelling and grammar"

[imsolostdude]

every now and then I am reminded to my great chagrin that my mother is funnier than I am

[imsolostdude]

Actually, i think we should vote on it

Just looked up poliotics. ... HUGE mistake . who did all that?

[imsolostdude]

"Cute hairless cat"? antithetical

Fuck off you useless chicken

[imsolostdude]

Literally how dragons breathing fire happened

Spreading love is no longer working for me. I choose to spread fire.

[imsolostdude]

I think it's so stupid that so many diagnosis screenings involve parents having to answer questions as if they're normal. Ya know these things are genetic, right?

"Oh, that's nothing to worry about, i did that too." Yeah, I'm sure you did, dad....

[imsolostdude]

Using the sheets from the back of the closet with flowers on:

[imsolostdude]

^^^THIS!

Unfollow. Log off. Turn yourself in

If you call pedophilia a kink please unfollow me and never talk to me again