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The Wisdom of the ‘Disaster Lineage’

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Coruscant Guard Office

Fox: [Walks in with his arm in a cast.]

Stone: Oh no. What happened?

Fox: Don’t worry about it. I’m fine.

Thire: Yeah, Force Stone, back off. Leave the guy alone. [Leans around desk to watch Fox walk into his office and close the door behind him. Drops into a whisper when door closes and starts gesturing with his hands.] Alright, everybody, huddle up. Everybody, bring it in, bring it in.

Thire: So he wouldn’t say what happened, which can only mean one thing.

Thorn: He’s in a Fight Club.

Thire: No. He did it to himself doing something he’s embarrassed by. Like smiling. The only question is how do you hurt your arm smiling?

Quinlan: Could be a sports injury. I sprained my wrist in playing little league grav ball.

Thorn: Cadet’s grav ball?

Stone: Don’t encourage him Thorn. It makes Vos think he works here if you engage.

Quinlan: [Ignoring Stone.] Yeah. Much more violent then the adult games. A bunch of feral Jedi kids with Force powers getting to enact violence on each other for the first time.

Fox: Attention everyone. I can hear you speculating on the nature and origin of my injury from my office. I tripped over an uneven sidewalk. I did not think it was relevant to your jobs. The jobs which you should all be doing. Right. Now. Get to work. Vos leave. 

Guard: [Disperses.]

Fox: [Approaches Thire.] Do you want to know how I actually hurt my wrist?

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Being Hunted by an Anzati With Preferences, Joint 501st and 212th Mission

Kix: Well, are any of us safe?

Fives: Yeah, my extensive research into Horror HoloDramas says virgins. Virgins never die.

Echo: Anzati slut-shame?

Wooley: The poor General.

Waxer: All right! *to Boil* Thanks for saving me by ruining every attempt I've ever made to pick someone up.

Boil: You're welcome. *pauses* I'm dead though

Wooley: *proud* I'm dead!

Kix: *resigned* I'm dead.

Crys: Well, I'll get as sick as you can get without actually dying. Don't think shitty handjobs in 79s count.

Echo: Fives is dead.

Fives: Hey! You are too!

Jesse: Rex is definitely dead. Me too.

[Everyone looks at Cody.]

Cody: *looks back*

[Everyone looks away, except Rex.]

Rex: So Commander "Saving Himself for Marriage" Cody or Waxer as bait?

Cody: You better hope the Anzati takes me out while I lead him back this way. *unheathes a vibroblade and walks away*

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Bo-Katan, when the Clan Wars broke out: Why is it we're the only family in the Mandalore System without a gun?!

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Rex: [Absolutely Sloshed] One day I'll be General Skywalker's second spouse.

Cody: What happened to his first?

Rex: Sabé.

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The midicholorian is the powerhouse of the Jedi.

- Every Jedi by rote when a specific question is asked as they all flashback to Biology which has been taught by the same Wookie Master for 247 years

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Rex: [calm, walking passed the barracks looking over a datapad]

Rex: [freezes and jerks to a stop to look around]

Rex: It's quiet.

Rex: Why is it quiet?

Rex: What are you little shits planning?

[A loud explosion in the distance, followed by screaming the name "FIVES!" and a shirll "MY DISTILLERY!" clear above the roar.]

Rex: [Lets out a sigh, shoulders relaxing before turning on his heel and marching in the direction of the noise face falling into a stern expression.] Thank the Force.

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Alternative Mustafar Fight

Obi-Wan: [Has Anakin on the ground, brutally punching him, sobbing and crying, face snotty and barely able to see through tears, wailing] YOU WERE MY BROTHER ANAKIN! I [wet mucousy sniffle] LOOVED YOU!

Anakin: [Both arms pinned to the ground by Obi-Wan’s knees, face bloody, barely able to wiggle slightly, spitting up blood before snarling] YOU UNDERESTIMATE MY POWER!

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oooohhhh you want to send me ships you want to send me ships so bad

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50 posts!

Apparently we get Tumblr Girl Scout Badges now! I never managed one as a kid so here's one achievement!

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Rex: Palpatine wants the Guard to arrest Fives because he has the brain scramblies. Anakin: Well, I mean, if the Chancellor said so. Rex: [Stares him down.] Anakin: Rex, my lovely Captain, my leader of men, my sweet syrup pie, maybe we could get him to turn himself in? There'll be a trial. Rex: No. Rex: First, never call me, "my sweet syrup pie" again. Rex: Second, we are not letting him turn himself in. Rex: 'Cause he's my best friend, he's my pal. He's my homeboy, my rotten soldier. He's my sweet cheese, my good-time boy.

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Rex: Palpatine wants the Guard to arrest Fives because he has the brain scramblies. Anakin: Well, I mean, if the Chancellor said so. Rex: [Stares him down.] Anakin: Rex, my lovely Captain, my leader of men, my sweet syrup pie, maybe we could get him to turn himself in? There'll be a trial. Rex: No. Rex: First, never call me, "my sweet syrup pie" again. Rex: Second, we are not letting him turn himself in. Rex: 'Cause he's my best friend, he's my pal. He's my homeboy, my rotten soldier. He's my sweet cheese, my good-time boy.

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I just want you to know that I love your posts!! My favorite are the Brooklyn nine nine quotes with the Cody and Fox rivalry 😂😂 perfect 👌

Thank you! This honestly made my day. The Cody-Fox Rivalry has been fun to plan and will continue as long as I found good quotes. :) :) :) :)

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(Happy, No Purge AU)

Luke, talking on comm: Yeah, my parents divorce has been really har-

The Left Door: CRASH! BANG! BANG!

The Right Door: BANG! BANG! BANG!

Rex/Fox, bursting into the room: The General/The Senator IS SINGLE?!

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Aayla, after the Break Up w/ Kit: I'll just be alone for the rest of my life. And that's okay.

Anakin: No, don't say that. On my planet, there's a saying that means "Love is just around the corner."

*aside to camera*

Anakin: I come from a neighborhood with a lot of prostitutes.

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Set in Fox's Holding Cell After the Murder of Palpatine

Cody: *walks to Fox and pulls him up to hug him*

Fox: What’s this? What’s happening?

Cody: It's going to be alright. *continues hug and pats back*

Fox: Kote, why are you squeezing me with your body?

Cody: It's a hug, Fox. I'm hugging you.

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Quinlan: I'VE FOUND HER! *Force pushes Obi-Wan's bedroom door open*

Obi-Wan: *jumps out of bed, lightsaber in hand, recognizes Quinlan* Yes, Quinlan, please barge into my quarters. I wasn't sleeping.

Quinlan: THIS ISN'T ABOUT YOU OBI! I AM HAVING A CRISIS.

Obi-Wan: *falls back on bed* What crisis?

Quinlan: *collapses beside him* MY NEMESIS, MY TRUEST ENEMY!

Obi-Wan: ...Madame Nu?

Quinlan: What, no. Jocasta has been regulated to third under MY RIVAL and your skeevy grandmaster.

Quinlan: I've found THE COMPETITOR FOR THE FAIR FOX'S HEART. The one who kept slipping in with those cookies and scented thank you notes and who bribed the Guardlings.

Obi-Wan: I know I am going to regret this. But who?

Quinlan: Riyo Chuchi.

Obi-Wan: The senator from Pantora?

Quinlan: Obviously. A truly manipulative schemer. Despicable. Clever. Ruthless.

Obi-Wan: Are you sure it's the same person? Riyo Chuchi is basically a sentient gummybear.

Quinlan: A gummybear soaked in 100% Pantoran vodka maybe. I thought I was unlucky Obi-Wan. She's been sabotaging me for weeks and I didn't even realize it was intentional. I almost respect it.

Obi-Wan: ....and what does that have to do with me?

Quinlan: As the biggest slut I know-

Obi-Wan: Retired.

Quinlan: As the biggest retired slut I know, I need your help seducing a man before that alcoholic gummybear wins.

Obi-Wan: If I help you will not break into my apartment for three months.

Quinlan: One.

Obi-Wan: Two.

Quinlan: One and a half.

Obi-Wan: Deal.

Quinlan: Operation Bag A Fox is a go.