incorrect-xena-quotes

[incorrect-xena-quotes]

Gabrielle: I thought we talked about this. We can be buds but you've gotta get over this crush thing.

Joxer: I am over it, seriously. I'm in love with you, you just wanna be friends. I'm totally cool living with that constant pain!

[incorrect-xena-quotes]

Gabrielle: Aphrodite, remember when you said you weren’t going to interfere with my love life?

Aphrodite: No, that doesn’t sound like me at all.

[incorrect-xena-quotes]

Xena: I have BDE.

Xena: Bisexual disaster energy.

[incorrect-xena-quotes]

Ares: Hey, that little pipsqueak of yours? I think she actually likes you. I caught her staring at you many times.

Xena: Hm? I sure hope so. We've been dating since forever.

Ares: WHAT? IT WASN'T ONE SIDED!?

Xena: WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT!?

[incorrect-xena-quotes]

Gabrielle: Hey, are you alright with swearing?

Eli: Yeah?

Gabrielle, turning to Ares: Bitch.

[incorrect-xena-quotes]

Xena: Autolycus, Autolycus, wake up! Autolycus, wake up!

Autolycus, barely awake: What did I do now? [jolting up] You can’t prove anything!

[incorrect-xena-quotes]

Aphrodite: Today has been terrible!

Gabrielle: Why?

Aphrodite: My hair is barely cascading down my shoulders!

[incorrect-xena-quotes]

Gabrielle: Do you have any medical experience?

Ares: I kill people.

Gabrielle:

Gabrielle: Yeah, I can work with that.

[incorrect-xena-quotes]

Xena: For this mission we should split into groups of two. Gabrielle, you pick first.

Gabrielle: Pass.

Xena: You can’t pass.

Gabrielle: Fine. I’ll pick Joxer.

Joxer: It feels good to know I’m Gabrielle's second choice after “pass”.

[incorrect-xena-quotes]

Xena: [to Athena] You are so mad and yet so wrong.

[incorrect-xena-quotes]

Joxer: Gabrielle yelled at me today. It was one of the most terrifying experiences of my life.

[incorrect-xena-quotes]

Gabrielle: [opens door] After you.

Ares: No thank you. I never let anyone walk behind me. Seven out of ten attacks are from the rear.

Gabrielle: Okay. Well, that still leaves a thirty percent chance that I’ll attack you from the front.

Ares: Yes, but it’ll be easier to stop. I can always block the blow, or I can counter it-

Gabrielle: [slaps him]

[incorrect-xena-quotes]

Joxer, seing Xena and Gabrielle after 20 years: I've got questions. So many questions.

Xena: For the sake of your sanity, ask absolutely none of them.

[incorrect-xena-quotes]

Meg: You're gay, right? ...I mean, like, openly gay?

Xena: Uh, I'm not "openly" anything, and "gay" doesn't begin to cover it.

[incorrect-xena-quotes]

Ares: I have feelings for you, okay? There, I said it. What do you want me to do, not mention those feelings to your girlfriend?

Xena: ...Yes!

[incorrect-xena-quotes]

Xena: *shatters a window and climbs through it*

Xena: *turns around and helps Person A through it* Breaking and entering is wrong, Eve.

Eve: Okay.

[incorrect-xena-quotes]

Joxer: Sorry, I don't do competitions. I'm anti-dexterous.

Gabrielle: ...Huh?

Joxer: It's when neither hand is good at anything.