incorrect-xena-quotes - Tumblr blog

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Xena, watching Gabrielle from afar: Look at her. I would die for her. I would kill for her. Either way, what bliss!

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Huzzah!

Huzzah!

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Xena: What a week, huh.

Gabrielle: Xena, it's Wednesday.

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Me:

Xena: Warrior Princess S03E18 - Fins, Femmes & Gems

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Joxer: Wow, you're so brave! You didn't even hesitate to throw yourself in danger!

Xena: That's because I have no regard for my own personal safety. You can ask Gabrielle.

Xena: I have never been more stressed in my entire life.

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Gabrielle: You look good in that armour.

Xena: You know where else I'd look good?

Gabrielle, zero hesitation: My bed.

Xena, at the same time: By your side- what?

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Joxer: I’ve got a new game. It’s called Argo or Gabrielle. I give you real things I’ve heard Xena say and you have to tell me if she was talking to her horse or her girlfriend.

Gabrielle:

Xena: I don’t think I like this game.

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Xena: The universe does not want me dead.

Xena: It does not want me happy, but it does not want me dead.

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Gabrielle: Are you always this sweet?

Xena: Nah I’m only sweet on Saturdays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays. Other days I’m a real asshole.

Gabrielle: Lucky for you, I like it both ways.

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Gabrielle: Come on, I want to show you something.

Gabrielle: *turns and walks away*

Xena: Nice.

Gabrielle: That's not it, but thank you.

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Joxer: If I need you, I’ll give a signal.

Xena: What’s the signal?

Joxer: I’ll imitate the scream of a terrified, little girl.

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Eli: Please don't kill me in my sleep.

Ares: Awake it is, then!

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Xena: No, I can go 24 hours without talking to Gabrielle. I'm not crazy.

Also Xena, that night: I take back what I said about being able to not talk to you for 24 hours. That was the longest 6 hours of my life.

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Xena: Every time! Your big mouth gets us into trouble every time!

Gabrielle: Not every time, only like, a third of the time.

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Callisto: And I’d love to be sorry for that, but we all know I’ve done much, much worse.

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Herodotus: I don't want my favorite daughter dating a screw up!

Xena: Well I don't want my favorite girlfriend daughter-ing a jerk dad! Burn on you!

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Xena: Can we all get back to work and stop talking about wedding dresses?

Joxer: No. We’re gonna talk about them, because while wearing a wedding dress, you leapt over a couch, sprinted down an alley, and jumped off a cart to subdue someone.