incorrectsheriartyquotes - Tumblr blog

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Jim: Come over.

Sherlock: I'm coming over.

Jim: We should stop using walkie talkies in bed...over.

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Jim: I failed my fire safety course today.

Sherlock: What happened?

Jim: Well, one of the questions was, "in the event of a fire, what steps would you take?"

Sherlock: And?

Jim: Apparently, "fucking large ones" wasn't the right answer.

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Jim: Fist me.

Sherlock: I- what the-

Jim: [holds out fist for a fist bump]

Sherlock: Oh I- christ...

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Sherlock: We have ten minutes, get dressed.

Jim: Oh, that's so close to the perfect sentence.

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Sherlock: Jim, everything I know about manipulation, I learnt from you.

Jim: That's sweet, what's your point?

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Jim: I treat my body like a temple.

Sherlock: Yeah, open to everyone, day or night.

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Jim: For future reference, singing “Eye of the Tiger” outside my door while Sherlock and I are having sex makes me extremely uncomfortable.

Sherlock: Apparently not uncomfortable enough to stop.

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Sherlock: Ah, Jim. I've been expecting you.

Jim: You asked me to come here.

Sherlock: That's why I've been expecting you.

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Jim: I had four donuts before you walked in the door.

Sherlock: That’ll kill you, Jim.

Jim: I don’t give a shite, I won’t be carrying the coffin.

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Jim: [races out of bank, his arms full of gold as alarm sounds]

Sherlock: You haven’t been up to your old tricks, have you, Jim?

Jim: No, dear, it’s my money, I just didn’t want to fill out the forms.

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Jim: Sherlock, did you eat my slice of strawberry cake again?

Sherlock: Why, is there still some on my face?

Jim: No.

Sherlock: Then no.

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Sherlock: Oh no. Are you okay? That's a lot of blood.

Jim: I'm fine. This isn't my blood.

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Jim: You know what would be sexy? Eating food off each other.

Sherlock: ...

Jim: ...

Sherlock: You didn’t do the dishes.

Jim: I did not.

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Sherlock: That was a pretty rotten thing you did.

Jim: I know, but in my defence, I've done much worse.

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Jim: Don’t you just love Valentine’s Day?

Sherlock: Which part, the rampant consumerism, or the pressure to identify oneself in the context of a socially acceptable couple?

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Sherlock: You’re pouting.

Jim: I’m not pouting, I’m brooding. It’s how sexy men pout.

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Sherlock: You're just selfish and cruel!

Jim: Selfish? Maybe! But cruel?

Jim: Also maybe.