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Tobi: I got the birthday cake for senpai.

Konan: It says, "Happy 19th Birthday Dave."

Tobi: Oh, he's going to be 20, isn't he?

Konan: His name is Deidara.

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Tobi: Ask me why the themed color for Valentine's is red!

Deidara:

Tobi: Please?

Deidara: Fine. Why is the themed color for Valentine's Day red?

Tobi: Because that's the color of my cheeks when my heart skips a beat for you.

Deidara: [blushes]

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Deidara: [gives Tobi a dictionary]

Deidara: Happy birthday.

Obito: Wow... I don't know what to say.

Deidara: Me neither. That's why I got you a dictionary.

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Deidara: We're a family now, and families talk about things.

Tobi: No, families ignore things until they go away.

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Deidara: My husband and I have agreed to never go to bed angry at each other.

Deidara: We've been awake since Friday.

Tobi: Well, if SOMEONE would just admit they were wrong-

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Tobi: There's no law that your resolutions need to be positive. You can resolve to become a lot worse.

Deidara: The years aren't improving, why should I?

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Tobi: I hate you.

Deidara: Can we kiss?

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Deidara: Bro.

Tobi:

Deidara: Bed time, bro.

Deidara: Come to bed, bro.

Deidara: Come snuggle, bro.

Deidara: Time to go to sleep, bro.

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Tobi: Have you heard the joke about the gas lighter?

Deidara: No.

Tobi: Yeah, you have.

Deidara: No, I haven't.

Tobi: You've literally heard it already.

Deidara: I DON'T KNOW IT!

Tobi: You're crazy.

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Deidara: I think you use too much humor to deflect serious trauma.

Obito: Thank you.

Deidara: I didn't say that was a good thing.

Obito: What I'm hearing is you think I'm funny.

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Tobi: Hey, senpai, where are you going?

Deidara: Well, that depends, Tobi. When I die, probably hell. But right now, I'm going to the bathroom. [slams door]

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Tobi: Pardon the intrusion, but-

Deidara: In this moment or just my life in general?

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Deidara: What's up? I'm back.

Tobi: I literally saw you die. You died. You were dead.

Deidara: Death is a social construct.

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Tobi: I know what a prism is! It's where you put bad people.

Deidara: ...Yes, sure. That's correct.

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Deidara: Getting really into Tobi's penis lately.

Hidan: Is it getting into YOU, though?

Deidara: >:(