indigoluvers

[indigoluvers]

should i begin posting more of my personal thoughts and feelings on here?

[indigoluvers]

I’m sorry

that our hearts have been cursed by the age old tale,

that we’d been cursed to never prevail,

is this the way life flows?

is this the way my love shall go?

stuck in the state of constant longing—

never finding its belonging.

lost and never to be found

somewhere, it’d been bound

to a curse that runs through the fibre of its being

“you, with the big heart, shall love!—

but never shall you be loved.”

( card dividers by @bronzewasp, she has really beautiful dividers )

[indigoluvers]

↪let down by radiohead / no longer human by dazai osamu / confessions of a mask by mishima yukio / untitled poem by @indigoluvers / let down by radiohead

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[indigoluvers]

In the aftermath of a Daydream

Nobody sees you, like i see you In such vivid hues with a smile worn by a lovesick fool oh no, nobody sees what i see nobody knows what i know how my cheeks hurt, from laughing with you i’d want our fingers to interlock i’d want you to spin me round, round—can’t you see it? i’d be lost in the whirl of it, we’d laugh and laugh, together endlessly, oh, can’t you imagine it? everyone must think i have gone crazy i smile at the thought of you– i can’t imagine you’d ever make me blue. oh my daydream, can’t you see it the butterflies in my stomach, Fluttering— around, around—around!

[indigoluvers]

Unintentionally ominous sign a friend took a photo of at a JoAnn's that's closing.

[indigoluvers]

i cannot hate myself into a version of me i will love.

[indigoluvers]

Credit to 66ray66 on Pinterest!

[indigoluvers]

"I do not want to become stronger anymore. I'm weak from all this strength. I just want to be loved."

— Joseph Escobar

[indigoluvers]

― Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Gentle Spirit

[indigoluvers]

↪Timeline by Hey, Nothing / Unknown found on Pinterest / Franz Kafka Diaries (via: @/dailykafka on tumblr) / The Hours by Michael Cunningham / Song for Zula by Phosphorescent / My diary / Unknown / The Night We Met by Lord Huron

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[indigoluvers]

There was once a boy I knew, who chased away all the blue within my heart. To say I once adored him is an understatement. We loved each other but nothing ever came of it. Nothing ever will. He lives far away. Far enough to not make him want to stay. Each day we'd speak. I had never smiled so much. Yet, here I was, smiling over his antics as I felt the warmth of his affection. Even now, I write this with a smile tugging at the corners of my lips. He loved me. I loved him. However, love dies. Old things die and new things bloom. The old died with the change of the season. Like the leaves upon the grass below my feet—it died. It left me standing above those dead leaves, staring in shock. Oh, god, at first I had thought he was depressed. Pulling away because his mind had told him of how worthless it thought him to be. He pulled away to never return. The warmth of his affection couldn't last through the autumn and soon the winter was nipping away at my skin. My cheeks rosy as I waited for him to return. Oh, but, what a silly girl I am. He'll never return. I look at our messages, grinning from ear to ear, what a wonderful love we once shared. I wondered why you pulled away; Was it me? Am I an unlovable creature that devoured what love you could've had for me?

Then I saw, your love and affections were given to someone else. You lied to me. You told me how you'd remain in my life no matter what. How we'd always be friends. That wasn't the only time you had lied. The summer we met, we spoke of people we found attractive and somewhere between our messages you said; I only see you as a friend. You didn't.

Your lies float within the confines of my memories. Some days, I connect the dots. The dots that paint some grand picture I hadn't seen before. You stopped talking to me the moment you found someone new. Someone who filled a void within your heavy heart. A void that I couldn't quite fill. I hate that I once adored you, the same way a kid adores hard candy. How we had jokes that no one else will ever hear. Do you ever wonder what you've done to me? How I showed you my achilles—only for you to strike it. The feeling of abandonment aches my body, you knew that. You. Knew. That. I hardly care. My emotions numbed. I just needed someone, something, an emotion—to write about. I am free. Free from you. Liberation comes with your abandonment. Thank you. With a voice full of sugar (You always said how sweet I was!) I demand of you to never return. I have others to love and to be loved by.

[indigoluvers]

↪ Anne Sexton / James Patterson, The Angel Experiment (Maximum Ride, #1) / Moral of the Story by Ashe / Motion Sickness by Phoebe Bridgers/ Ranata Suzuki / The New Thing Dies by Ray Bull

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[indigoluvers]

↪ Alfonsina Storni, from Mask & Clover: Poems "The Siren" / Tumblr / Unknown from Pinterest / Unknown from Pinterest / Warsan Shire / Linger by The Cranberries / Don’t Delete the Kisses by Wolf Alice / Vladimir Nabokov / Tumblr