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[iriswashere]

the lack of the "cat recognition skills demonstrated" tag just makes this even funnier

cat?

Vampire.

[iriswashere]

*Mc and Levi are in an argument in a game*

Mc: I hate you!!

Levi: I hate myself even more!!!

Mc: ...

Mc: babe, we've talked about this..

[iriswashere]

NB!MC applying positive parenting on the brothers and trying hard not to laugh whenever it works BECAUSE IT DOES.

—

MC: Mammon, I know you hate going to RAD, it's tiring but let's test how fast can you put your uniform on?

Mammon:..... Ok.

MC: Levi, I know the game is so much fun but you need to get out of this room, want to decide which shoe are you wearing for a walk?

MC: Beel, going on a rampage because there's no food anymore is a big no no, you understand that? Good, now apologise to the poor waiter.

Waiter: WHAT THE FUCK

MC: Satan, are you sure killing this demon because he looked at you is the best idea? No? Ok, so let's just take a deep breath, alright?

MC: Belphie I understand you're too lazy but you have a meeting in 30 minutes, if you promise me you can get ready in 20 minutes I'll let you take more 10 minutes of napping, ok?

Belphie: Twenty.

MC: alright.

MC: Lucifer, I know this paperwork is VEEERY FUN, but you need to take care of yourself, alright, you get to choose, do you want to have a proper meal in five minutes or ten minutes?

Lucifer: ten minutes.

MC: Alright, I'll put a timer, I'll come to check on you in ten minutes.

[iriswashere]

MC: unfortunately, due to several experiences in my youth, I cannot just 'walk up and join a circle of people talking', but it does sound lovely, thank you

[iriswashere]

MC : I died.

MC : and..you weren’t there.

Solomon : I know.

MC : and you died.

Solomon : I did.

MC : then.. you came to find me..

Solomon : Of course, I did. I could do nothing else.

MC : but.. why? You should’ve lived..

Solomon : you know why I did what I did.

MC, crossing arms : You seem remarkably calm with this.

Solomon : and you seem a little angry, my dear 😅

MC, huffs : Of course I am angry, why did you have to die with me? You’re humanity’s strongest sorcerer! Who’s going to be protecting humanity if you—

MC : if you decided to kill yourself just to be with me.

Solomon, gently uncrossing your arms, cradling your hands : The second after I died might’ve been the first time I felt like a human since we met, and, I also know that my dear starling doesn’t like to be alone so..

Solomon : I don’t have any regrets. And as for who will be protecting humanity, we have our children and family looking after them, no?

Solomon : we made a vow to never part, not even death can separate us, remember? I don’t think I can go on knowing that you won’t be here when I wake up in the morning.

Solomon : I hope you can find it in you to forgive your foolish husband?

MC : . . .

MC, with teary eyes : Oh, Sol. You lovable dum dum, come here *pulls him in for a kiss*

. . .

Solomon : I’m not going to get better without you..

MC : and I was never going to be better without you..

[iriswashere]

[MC & Lucifer after an argument]

Lucifer, just returned from work :

MC, already tucked into bed :

Lucifer : . . .

Lucifer, sits down at the edge of the bed, taking his shoes off : *clears throat* MC, I know it’s been a while, but try and control yourself. I need some rest.

MC, kicks him off the bed :

Lucifer, Butt to the floor : What the hell was that for?!

MC, sitting up : You’re not getting into this bed, Lucifer!

Lucifer : then where am I supposed to sleep?!

MC : on the floor like any dog! *goes back to sleep*

[iriswashere]

Mc: I feel like a mother of seven children.

Solomon: but I thought Lucifer is well behaved and the only mature one? Is he not excluded?

Mc: oh no, no no, Lucifer is the only mature one

Solomon: then why did you say seven?

Mc: I never exclusively said "the brothers"

Solomon: .... Are you co-parenting them with Barbatos and Lucifer?

Mc: yes

Solomon: ...

Mc:

Solomon: be patient ok? If you need anything just ask me for help *pats mc shoulder*

Mc: ah... Thank you Solomon I appreciate that

[iriswashere]

…heart. Of course, his main course is angel heart.

I tried to draw something with meaning. But the result is the perfect breakfast for Alastor… Damn it

[iriswashere]

Boredom leads to restlessness.

Restlessness leads to frustration.

Frustration leads to needing a hug.

So, MC gets up from their desk, storming out of their room and making a beeline towards Mammon's room.

He sat on the couch, counting his money, not expecting his human to suddenly collapse on his chest and hug him.

"What do ya think you're--?"

"Just shut up and hug me dammit."

No arguments. Just a confused demon carefully wrapping his arms around MC before resuming his activity.

Not the strangest way to show affection but he'll take it.

[iriswashere]

I'm here to combat the vicious homophobic granny smith rumours

[iriswashere]

I never thought I'd live long enough to see blushing Barbatos 😳🤭

[iriswashere]

Draw you and your fave like this type of pose❗

[iriswashere]

thank you princess celestia

[iriswashere]

Diavolo using the royal family's official letterhead and seal to send MC random pen pal-style letters for fun.

A postal demon who is anxious beyond belief grips the letter as tight as they dare to, neither wanting a breeze to blow it away nor for the paper inside to get crumpled. It was the talk of all local postal workers that morning. It's obviously incredibly important, the prince's own penmanship graces the front of it! Such a letter should not be left in the mailbox.

They knock on the door to the House of Lamentation, shaking. MC opens it.

The postal demon quickly bows their head. "An urgent correspondence!" they proclaim while handing over the message with two scrawny arms. As soon as MC has their mail, the postal demon flees and MC returns inside to find a letter opener.

Hey!

I discovered a book the other day with many fascinating human jokes! Have you heard this one?

Q: Why don't skeletons fight each other?

A: They don't have the guts!

Isn't that hilarious? Everyone knows that common undead skeletons don't have cognizance and will absolutely fight each other. Or anything that moves, really. This must be an example of that 'sarcasm' you told me about. Human jokes can be so funny!

Yours truly,

Diavolo

[iriswashere]

Demon MC: I already told you Satan is superior! You think anyone in all three realms can compare to his smarts?!

Angel MC: I shall be humbly like to remind you that Simeon has been around longer and his list of accomplishments far exceed anyone else's here.

Mammon: As much as I thought I would love the thought of 2 MCs...this is not what I had in mind.

Levi: I'm completely confused, can someone explain?

Satan: *with demon MC laying across his lap* Solomon and MC were experimenting around with clones - he accidentally divided our MC into two halves.

Belphie: So now we have a demon MC and an angel MC?

Simeon: *angel MC resting in his embrace* Honestly it's been fine. They've not caused any trouble.

Satan: Exactly, it's not as bad as you think.

Asmo: That's because MC is only paying attention to the two of you Satan and Simeon!

Lucifer: And did you forget them yelling and arguing about who's the better between you the two of you?!

Satan: Well I was simply lost listening to all the compliments MC had for me.

Simeon: Indeed it just shows us how highly MC regards us.

Solomon: Ah MC I'm back with a solution to this problem.

Demon MC and Angel MC in unison: Solomon! You're here!

Solomon: *blushes, getting tackle hugged and kissed on both cheeks* Aww did you miss me?

Satan: ....

Simeon: ....

Beel: I think Solomon wins.

[iriswashere]

Editing? Oh you mean fic patching.