jamietarttsnorthernattitude - Tumblr blog

[jamietarttsnorthernattitude]

🪻🪻🪻🪻🪻🪻(gotta keep you in roses/flowers indefinitely)

And they are much appreciated. The Big Bang is certainly going to be a big bang so that is my primary priority at the moment and it won't be seen for a while so here's a little snippet to tide people over 💕

Jamie pulled a little bit of light blue notepaper from Phoebe’s space notebook out of his pocket and started to unfold it. "Oh, for fucks sake," Roy mutters under his breath as Jamie straightened out the crinkled piece of paper like he was about to make an announcement in front of parliament not read a speech written by a muppet and a ten year old.  "Roy, I wish you to join me in taking part in this year's season of Celebrity Hunted. I understand you may have some reservations about this idea but I would appreciate you hearing me out on my reasoning for wanting to pursue this opportunity and why I think it would also be a beneficial endeavour for you also," Jamie began, eyes flickering up at Roy and then back down at the paper repeatedly.  "How long is this?" Roy sighed. There would be no stopping the lad now. He sounded like he had swallowed a thesaurus. "It'll be longer if you keep interrupting me," Jamie glowered until Roy mimed zipping his lips and then the nervous smile returned. Roy shuffled down in his seat and prepared to be here for the long haul. 

[jamietarttsnorthernattitude]

Something Something Sentence Sunday

Roy moves to sit on the edge of Jamie’s chair, careful not to jostle his broken foot. He moves the sunglasses off his head and eyes Jamie, looking him over, searing through his skin. Fifteen different emotions cross Roy’s face, but Jamie can’t read any of them. Then, without warning, Roy pulls his good side into a hug, their faces touching side to side. Jamie can feel the scratchyness of his beard against his cheek. Roy’s right hand comes around to hold the other side of Jamie’s face, gentle but solid.

“It’s not your fault.”

“Yeah, it was,” Jamie says as he attempts to pull his face away to look Roy in the face but Roy holds firm.

“It’s not your fault.”

“Stop it,” Jamie says, voice high pitched and desperate as he tries to use his good arm to push Roy away.

Every fiber of him wants to run from this, from here, but he’s held down to the chaise by guilt and injuries. In that moment he’s unsure which is heavier.

“It’s not your fault. It’s not your fucking fault.”

And then the damn breaks.

[jamietarttsnorthernattitude]

First entry for @badthingshappenbingo is a go-go!

Square: non-consensual touching

Summary:

Jamie's the one who dropped into position. Jamie's the one who helped Zava set a record. He did this to himself. Jamie let it happen.

[jamietarttsnorthernattitude]

"you don't look at your friends that way!!" and it's two characters just *checks notes* smiling at each other

[jamietarttsnorthernattitude]

🌻🌷😬

“Jamie, can you tell me what day it is?”

“Match day.”

Who cares what day it was? They had a match. Why wasn’t he at the match?

“Can still play coach.”

Jamie willed his body to move, to speak, to do something, anything. He had to play. With Zava around he couldn’t risk missing a minute on the pitch. He couldn’t. He would sit on the bench and be forgotten. Be even more forgotten than he already was. Wouldn't even be one of eleven then would he?

He'd be nothing.

Nobody wants you.

Roy wouldn’t waste his time training someone who wasn't even on the pitch. Jamie could hardly believe Roy spent so much of his time training him as it was. Jamie can't help the team from the bench and if Jamie can't help the team there's no reason for Roy to train him.

Where was Roy? Jamie wished Roy was there. Better than Ted. Maybe. Maybe not. No it would be better with Roy. Roy would call him a muppet and be done. Ted would be disappointed.

Where was Mummy?

Jamie just wanted Mummy.

Fuck, the doctor was still here. He thought she left. She said something else though Jamie couldn't make it out.

“I’m fine. Let’s get out of here, Coach. We’re going to miss the match.”

“Jamie,” Ted said. “The match is over.”

[jamietarttsnorthernattitude]

That moment when the unrelated scenes you've been writing for two weeks both somehow connect (i have no idea how this happened)

[jamietarttsnorthernattitude]

Okay, so I just learned something new. Maybe y’all already knew.

But once a player has been subbed off, they can’t play again in that match. At all.

So when Ted benched Jamie, it wasn’t just that he did so with one minute before the half. Which was clearly to Send a Message. It meant he wasn’t playing any more at all that day. So he got 44/90 minutes.

I mean, Jamie stormed off the pitch. So it wasn’t like I had expected him to play in the second half. But he straight up couldn’t have.

I had to check rules over with @abubblingcandle (thanks!). Cause I had wondered if having a different starter for the second half still counted as a substitution. It does! So Jamie wasn’t playing any more whenever it was that Roberts went on.

It is just more obvious (and harsh) to sub him when there was still play on the pitch. More of a statement.

But that being the last game he played for Richmond before the cancellation of his loan was also a statement. Just one that Ted never meant to actually make. Rebecca understood the ramifications though.

Which is part of what really gets me. Ted’s lack of knowledge about British Football did harm to his players. Several second teamers left between season one and two. And their worth was diminished by no longer being Premier League players. 😬😭

[jamietarttsnorthernattitude]

🌻🌷🌹

(The one with 😬 was an accident!)

“Is the water warm enough?” Sam asked, eying his friend wearily.

Jamie nodded as the chattering of his teeth slowly decreased.

“And your knee feels okay like this? I could put a towel under it in the bath or I could hold it up or-”

Jamie encircled Sam’s wrist with a still too cold and now wet hand, stilling his excited energy and nodded again.Sam briefly wondered if Jamie was too tired, too upset, too overstimulated to speak but then he said, “Yeah, yeah it’s good. Thanks, mate, I can manage if you want–”

“I want to help,” Sam said, cutting him off, maybe too quickly. He was prepared for this, prepared to personally fight Jamie’s demons to allow the kindness of a friend, but suddenly he was feeling his position as tenuous. “Unless you don’t want me to.”

Sam was well aware Jamie had issues accepting help for things he had been conditioned against lest he look soft to his abusive father. Everyday he was greeted with something new this world had conditioned men to view as other, and Sam was never more grateful for the love and support his father and his family had raised him with, never instilling any of the toxic masculinity traits he and his teammates so often tried not to conform to. Jamie had not been lucky enough to have a father like Ola, and so while Sam wanted to do everything he could to help his friend, he also did not want to force him into doing something he would feel uncomfortable with and make the situation worse when he was injured.

“No, this is nice,” Jamie said, releasing his wrist and giving Sam a small smile. “Thank you.”

Relief and optimism flooded through the length of Sam’s body as he returned the smile.

[jamietarttsnorthernattitude]

Eight weeks and eight draws into his second season at Richmond, Ted meets with Jamie at the Crown & Anchor and tells him he can't come back to the team; it's not a good fit. The next day, he changes his mind. The day after that, he wakes up in the past.

[jamietarttsnorthernattitude]

[jamietarttsnorthernattitude]

[jamietarttsnorthernattitude]

🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹

it is finals season and i am #struggling but i will every so often click into my the sun is only a God if you learn to starve doc and gaze fondly at the words there. so! here's a bit from the upcoming chapter 2!!

“Hey, hey, hey!” Coach Lasso hollers from the sidelines, through cupped palms, all cheerful exuberance. The coaches usually let these little games tire themselves out before starting real practice, but either Coach Lasso is being uncharacteristically impatient today, or they’ve noticed the sudden stillness out here in the middle of the pitch. “How ’bout y’all make like Paul McCartney and come on to me, yeah?” “Ooh, deep cut,” says Coach Beard. He isn’t hollering through cupped palms, yet somehow Sam can hear him just as clearly. Perhaps it’s the firmly crossed arms. They lend a certain air of confidence, which is really the root of projection. “Shouldn’t it be come on over to me?” says Colin once they’ve jogged close enough to talk at normal volumes, crossed-arms-notwithstanding. “To be all grammatical, like.” “Quit trying to be smart,” says Isaac. “Well, now, I s’pose it should be,” Coach Lasso acknowledges. “I’ll file that away for next time, Colin, thank you muchly. All right! Who’s ready to take some ball and kick some name?” Nobody says anything. Sam’s not sure about the rest of them, but he’s waiting on tenterhooks for Jamie’s familiar drawl to pipe up from the back. That ain’t a real thing people can do, Coach. The words hold such a well-worn place in his mind that he almost imagines he can conjure them into being through sheer force of will—like a magic spell, cast across the hollow echo of Jamie that’s been wandering around in place of the real one. Bring him back, please. Please, erase the blood and the shadows and the monster. Take it all away and leave my friend behind. There must be a way to do it.

[jamietarttsnorthernattitude]

🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻

Whump sequel finish soon maybe???

it is almost four times longer than the original jfc

In Ted's opinion, they'd never made a hospital worth stepping into. Hope and despair crowded into a maw; that's what hospitals were made of. Even the comfort came flavored with the scent of Lysol and dead orchids. You could call it an ER or an A&E or any other combination of letters, but a building by any other name would still give Ted the sense that he wasn't any better than a brightly colored bird in a cage being carried down a dark tunnel while people in white coats assured him that everything was perfectly all right.

But it did its job. The beeping and the machines and the people with the checklists, they were all just doing their jobs, and necessary ones at that.

To any of them, it might appear that Ted was also doing his job. It would be a charitable thought, to see Ted standing in the doorway and think he was checking in on one of his players, when the reality was that he was caught in place, no more able to close the distance between him and Jamie now than he had been at any other point during his tenure at Richmond.

[jamietarttsnorthernattitude]

mutuals and followers at large I'm glad you're alive and I hope it gets easier

[jamietarttsnorthernattitude]

being aromantic and into whump is like. shoutout to whump for being a great opportunity to engage with stories about intimacy and vulnerability and powerful emotion and physical interactions with other people and intense relationships that are not presumptively based in romance. what would i do without you.

[jamietarttsnorthernattitude]

Loved loved loved Five Times the Team Shows Jamie Kindess and One Time he Realises Why. Is there anything you want to share about it? I am looking forward to reading more whenever :)

Thank youuuu!

I love that you're looking forward to more! I have so many thoughts about what I want to explore with this.

I'd been rolling some thoughts around for a while about what if Jamie had really hurt his hand with that punch and what would it be like to have that constant physical reminder of something that he'd probably rather try to forget ever happened like the show. No, I'm not bitter we didn't get any real aftermath.

I also wanted to play around with Jamie's thoughts on the team and the team's reaction to Jamie. He was welcomed back in the space of an episode in canon (with the exception of Roy) but I feel like Jamie always felt like he was on probation, it was always conditional on his good behaviour and teamwork. I mean, in S3 he's still worried about saying something that might make people think he's a prick.

How long before he felt like he really belonged and was part of the Richmond family? How long before he learnt that people could care about him without wanting anything from him in return?

I'm still smooshing around ideas in my head but I think I can safely say there's going to be a chapter with Beard (because boy oh boy, Jamie's going to put 2 + 2 together and get close to 4 when he sees Beard's bruised face). Higgins, because I really want to explore how he feels about that advice he gave Jamie. And Sam, because Sam is one of the ones Jamie hurt the most in S1 so I feel like that journey from team mate I tolerate to actual friend would be interesting to explore. The fifth chapter is yet to be decided, might be Rebecca.

[jamietarttsnorthernattitude]

“omg you’re so creative. how do you get your ideas” i hallucinate a single scene in the taco bell drive thru and then spend 13 months trying to write it