jessica-rowan - Tumblr blog

[jessica-rowan]

Is hella uggo tran bridge troll. That it that’s the post. Y’all beautiful E just didn’t bless me like it did for so, so, many others.

[jessica-rowan]

this kicks so much ass

>First, we’ve discovered that about a quarter of all the internet connection in or out of the house were ad related. In a few hours, that’s about 10,000 out of 40,000 processed.

>We also discovered that every link on Twitter was blocked. This was solved by whitelisting the https://t.co domain.

>Once out browsing the Web, everything is loading pretty much instantly. It turns out most of that Page Loading malarkey we’ve been accustomed to is related to sites running auctions to sell Ad space to show you before the page loads. All gone now.

>We then found that the Samsung TV (which I really like) is very fond of yapping all about itself to Samsung HQ. All stopped now. No sign of any breakages in its function, so I’m happy enough with that.

>The primary source of distress came from the habitual Lemmings player in the house, who found they could no longer watch ads to build up their in-app gold. A workaround is being considered for this.

>The next ambition is to advance the Ad blocking so that it seamlessly removed YouTube Ads. This is the subject of ongoing research, and tinkering continues. All in all, a very successful experiment.

>Certainly this exceeds my equivalent childhood project of disassembling and assembling our rotary dial telephone. A project whose only utility was finding out how to make the phone ring when nobody was calling.

>Update: All4 on the telly appears not to have any ads any more. Goodbye Arnold Clarke!

>Lemmings problem now solved.

>Can confirm, after small tests, that RTÉ Player ads are now gone and the player on the phone is now just delivering swift, ad free streams at first click.

>Some queries along the lines of “Are you not stealing the internet?” Firstly, this is my network, so I may set it up as I please (or, you know, my son can do it and I can give him a stupid thumbs up in response). But there is a wider question, based on the ads=internet model.

>I’m afraid I passed the You Wouldn’t Download A Car point back when I first installed ad-blocking plug-ins on a browser. But consider my chatty TV. Individual consumer choice is not the method of addressing pervasive commercial surveillance.

>Should I feel morally obliged not to mute the TV when the ads come on? No, this is a standing tension- a clash of interests. But I think my interest in my family not being under intrusive or covert surveillance at home is superior to the ad company’s wish to profile them.

>Aside: 24 hours of Pi Hole stats suggests that Samsung TVs are very chatty. 14,170 chats a day.

>YouTube blocking seems difficult, as the ads usually come from the same domain as the videos. Haven’t tried it, but all of the content can also be delivered from a no-cookies version of the YouTube domain, which doesn’t have the ads. I have asked my son to poke at that idea.

[jessica-rowan]

(Current as of the evening of March 20th, 2023)

The far-right Missouri attorney general just announced that gender-affirming care for young people is already prohibited by law in the state, despite passing no legislation, because it is “experimental”.

This far-right attorney general was the principal investigator of the local transgender center after a former employee ran to the right-wing press with lies about “child mutilation” and leaked the personal information of patients. Everything she said was a lie, and she is currently being protected by whistleblower laws and the far-right state from any blowback of keeping patients’ personal information on an Excel file on her personal computer.

See this horrifying excerpt from the article breaking the news:

I can’t even finish this post, sorry. I’m so scared.

See the full article here:

[jessica-rowan]

you heathens will reblog day specific posts any day of the week. i woke up thinking it was wednesday

[jessica-rowan]

Losing my mind over this article

[jessica-rowan]

Positively DELIGHTFUL cannot wait for more.

Our confused protagonist finally gets a little guidance on what she’s supposed to do in chapter 3 of my trans isekai story. Also, makes friend with a cute half gnoll girl.

[jessica-rowan]

This is a hard lesson to learn, harder to implement (sometimes), but SO good for one’s wellbeing.

My family just lost their "having me in their lives" privileges!

[jessica-rowan]

this is just fucking the coolest thing fucking ever

tape casette recorders are compatible with literally every. single. thing. im out here living in 2095.

[jessica-rowan]

Godzilla is a better parent then mine were. <3

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this is so sweet 🥺🥺🥺

[jessica-rowan]

.

FUCK

[jessica-rowan]

“transition poses some ethical questions. Such as, from what age should you be allowed to irreversibly change your body.“

This of course completely ignores the fact that puberty makes irreversible changes to your body. But let us just rephrase the question: “from what age do you gain bodily autonomy?” Now it gets very easy to answer: From the moment you’re fucking born.

[jessica-rowan]

Alone.

I am the breaker of things, that which destroys, I am ruin.

There are no stars in my sky tonight.

[jessica-rowan]

There’s a memory bouncing around my brain imma write it here in the hope that getting it out will bring clarity

But I doubt it…

Many years ago at a larp a large group of my friends were planning what amounted to armed insurrection against the kingdom. My character was loyal (beyond all reason) to a few of these people and so was going to join them. Knowing the action would be considered high treason (despite me not being from that kingdom… can you commit treason upon a county you are not from?) and the penalty would be execution until final death (your character could potentially come back multiple time so such a sentence involved multiple deaths until one stuck). My fate as far as I was concerned, being sealed I went to the one person I knew, in this moment, I could trust above all others.

This man was one of the most noble and honorable people ever. The definition of a paladin (and not one played by someone who thinks that means lawful stupid… ugh), a genuine good guy and actual hero. My character… was not that… and though this guy knew I was shady we had been friends for a long time. He knew that though, at times, I would comprise my morals for dark ends I was generally more on the side of good (at this point in my career anyway) than evil.

I asked if we could speak somewhere less public and he took me to his hall with two other members of the court he was part of. Them overhearing my request wasn’t a concern of mine.

“I’m going to commit a crime tonight against your kingdom, you’ve heard something is going to happen and I can confirm that, though I cannot say what it is. I need you to do me a favor…”

At this point I had begun to cry, which was a significant sign that shit was, in fact, hitting the fan.

“Of anyone I know you have the reputation to make this happen, I will be found guilty. I will be sentenced to death. I would very much wish that it is you who carries out the sentence and… and please… please get my body back home to my kingdom, it need not be far, just across the boarder is fine… I… I don’t want to die here, I don’t want this place to be my tomb, I want to go home. Can you promise me you will get me home?”

Without going into to much detail, in game, my home kingdom had been overrun by two separate horrible monstrous armies (that particular chapter of the larp had shut down and that was the story reason you couldn’t go there). As it was still a real place as far as the fiction went this was me having a character moment, her last request to a person she could believe would honor it.

This was one of the few times, real or acting, I was actually able to cry and not force the tears. It was a real moment.

I sat down to collect myself and looked at him, waiting for an answer.

“It won’t come to that… I won’t allow it.”

He and the two others then talked about what they were going to do to prevent me from taking part in whatever was happening. They knew something was happening but not the what. They accepted that I couldn’t tell them the details. That night, by trickery and by force, I was prevented from taking part in the insurrection and attempted murder of multiple barons, knights, and loyal commoners. It was a big moment in my character’s long (20 YEAR) redemption arc. Maybe, if I asked for help, if I told my friends what was happening, and that I was unable to handle it on my own, they would, without question, help me through to the other side.

Ah… there it is. The clarity… I did find it. ^_^ <3

[jessica-rowan]

A new trauma appears!!

so this past Saturday my mother went from just an emotional abuser to a physical one as well. Without going into the drama I was attempting to flee the house and she tried to stop me.

I then had a panic attack, the worst one I’ve ever had.

Then... I yelled at her, a lot. Told her, among other things, that she was an abuser and I’ve always been afraid of her.

It was a whole thing...

so... yeah... that’s my life right now. Its been a big fuck off month.

[jessica-rowan]

Oh yeah, so this was “cool”.

Once upon a time I had to come out as trans to a large chunk of my extended family at my fathers funeral last week

[jessica-rowan]

[jessica-rowan]

So early Tuesday morning my father suddenly died. I have complicated feelings about it that I’m trying to work though but here’s what I’ll be saying at the funeral. It came out ok I think.

My name is Jessica, I'm Wayne's youngest.

It's hard to know where to start, for my Uncles, John and Charles, the words came easy but this? I was supposed to have more time. During that awful night my mother talked a lot about stories, of times when I was so young all I have is the echo of a memory. I got to thinking about stories and if I wanted to tell any. One story, one anecdote, it’s not enough. I cannot sum up my father in one story, or two, or a hundred. I have my whole lifetime of stories and they aren’t enough. The best description, the best tribute I can give to my dad is to just look around. I’ve never met most everyone in this room but you, me, all of us, we are my fathers story. There are thousands upon thousands of memories in this room, each a small part in the mosaic of a life.

I had to go to Concord just a few hours after my dad left me. I drove down mainstreet and looked as the world kept turning. People going about their lives unaware of the bright light that was no longer in the world. I wanted to yell at them, to try and explain that the world needs to just STOP. stop for a moment and realize what’s missing, but that's not how things work. The world still spins, the sun must set, the page must turn. The story goes on.

Today is a celebration, which is an odd word to use to describe something so… There are many, many words I tried to use here and none seemed the right fit. The weight of memory, the burden of things left unsaid, do I forget the bad and remark on only the good? No, wouldn't be the truth of it. I kept coming back to the only word that fit.

Today is a celebration of something so: Wayne

Wayne, my dad, and the 69 years of stories in this room.

Dad, I was just starting to find out who I am, and I wanted you to meet me when I got there. We had more stories to tell and I wasn’t ready to start telling them without you. I said to my friends the other day: the change from is to was is life’s most difficult challenge. How am I supposed to do that? You taught me a lot of life lessons but this wasn’t one of them. You never taught me how to say goodbye to you.

Not that I think anyone can ever truly learn how. Not until the moment comes.

And this is the moment, the epilogue, the closing of the book.

And if i just talk a little more maybe this moment doesn’t have to end

And I can keep you just a little while longer.

But that’s not how things work. The world still spins, the sun must set, the page must turn.

The story goes on.

Goodnight dad, I love you.

Jessica Rowan - July 18 2021