johnnylaundry-blog

[johnnylaundry-blog]

The Best Music I Heard in 2013

Top Songs/Albums of 2013

(*These are the best I heard this year, which means some of them might be older songs)

Albums:

 Foxygen – We Are the 21st Century Ambassadors of Peace and Magic

Vampire Weekend – Modern Vampires

Grizzly Bear – B-Sides of Shields (These tunes are better than most on Shields)

Songs Categorized by Style of Hard, Medium, and Soft (just to make it simple)

Hard

Tera Melos – Weird Circles, Sunburn

Glocca Morra – Ya’ll Boots Hats?

The Orwells – Halloween All year

Joyce Manor – Beach Community

We Were Promised Jet Packs – Circles and Squares

Med

Dinosaur Feathers – Boats

You Won’t – Fryer

Kingston Springs – Weight of this World

Cults – You know what I mean

Ages and Ages – Divisionary

Paul McCartney – New

Lady Lamb and the Beekeeper - Aubergine

Soft

Kingston Springs – Lover

 Little Green Cars – Please

James Blake – Retrograde

Grizzly Bear – Taken Down, Smothering Green

 Rhye – The Fall, Open

Biggest Upsets of the Year

The Dodos – Carrier (A bit dull in comparison to their older albums. I think they were creating an album with someone else in mind, not themselves.)

 The National – Trouble Will Find Me (Lyrics, good. Music, same.Just another High Violet album. A great album if you like their sound, but I’m beginning to think they’re a one-trick pony.)

Honorable Mention

Chvrches (Album: The Bones of What You Believe)

Lily and Madeleine (Album: Lily and Medeleine…Amazing voices and harmonizing)

Cate Le Bon (Song: I Can’t Help You)

Father John Misty, Into It/Over It, Bent Shapes, and Speedy Ortiz 

[johnnylaundry-blog]

The Best Music I Heard in 2013

Top Songs/Albums of 2013

(*These are the best I heard this year, which means some of them might be older songs)

Albums:

 Foxygen – We Are the 21st Century Ambassadors of Peace and Magic

Vampire Weekend – Modern Vampires

Grizzly Bear – B-Sides of Shields (These tunes are better than most on Shields)

Songs Categorized by Style of Hard, Medium, and Soft (just to make it simple)

Hard

Tera Melos – Weird Circles, Sunburn

Glocca Morra – Ya’ll Boots Hats?

The Orwells – Halloween All year

Joyce Manor – Beach Community

We Were Promised Jet Packs – Circles and Squares

Med

Dinosaur Feathers – Boats

You Won’t – Fryer

Kingston Springs – Weight of this World

Cults – You know what I mean

Ages and Ages – Divisionary

Paul McCartney – New

Lady Lamb and the Beekeeper - Aubergine

Soft

Kingston Springs – Lover

 Little Green Cars – Please

James Blake – Retrograde

Grizzly Bear – Taken Down, Smothering Green

 Rhye – The Fall, Open

Biggest Upsets of the Year

The Dodos – Carrier (A bit dull in comparison to their older albums. I think they were creating an album with someone else in mind, not themselves.)

 The National – Trouble Will Find Me (Lyrics, good. Music, same.Just another High Violet album. A great album if you like their sound, but I’m beginning to think they’re a one-trick pony.)

Honorable Mention

Chvrches (Album: The Bones of What You Believe)

Lily and Madeleine (Album: Lily and Medeleine…Amazing voices and harmonizing)

Cate Le Bon (Song: I Can’t Help You)

Father John Misty, Into It/Over It, Bent Shapes, and Speedy Ortiz 

[johnnylaundry-blog]

Day II in the cone. Ella seems to be fairing well but I've developed a drinking problem. We're running low on rations and dog treats. My only hope is that we make it out alive. #rememberme #spaydaypart2 #ella

[johnnylaundry-blog]

Not Writing Because I've Been Busy Writing...Or Failing at Writing

I haven't been writing on here, because, well, I've been writing. I know this sentence is confusing, but I've been hard at work on some ideas that are actually  panning-out quite nicely. I imagine it's only a matter of time before I trip on my words, realize my stuff is crap, and decide to delete everything I ever wrote, but that's how the process works. I guess.

As you might know from reading this -- or anything else I've ever written -- my grammar is crappy. Not as much crappy , as maybe lacking-fundamental-rules-of-English-language . I apologize about that. Luckily I have Colin Nissan's piece to prove that maybe my mistakes are more a take on "avant-garde" style of writing. I'm just pushing the boundaries  with grammar. Experimenting. Fucking around, as some would say. Maybe this clarifies: 

STUDY THE RULES, THEN BREAK THEM

Part of finding your own voice as a writer is finding your own grammar. Don’t spend your career lost in a sea of copycats when you can establish your own set of rules. If everyone’s putting periods at the end of their sentences, put yours in the middle of words. Will it be incredibly difficult to read? Yes it will. Will it set you on the path to becoming a literary pioneer? Tough to say, but you’re kind of out of options at this point.

From: The Ultimate Guide to Writing Better Than You Normally Do

If you haven't read Colin Nissan's work (or McSweeney's for that matter), I highly recommend it. 

[johnnylaundry-blog]

Inventor of the Genetically Grown Hamburger is Denied Access to Heaven by God’s Bouncer

(This is my best guess as to how this conversation might go down) 

God’s Bouncer: Hi there. Heaven or hell, how do you plead?

Inventor: Heaven.

GB: Okay, and what did you contribute to mankind?

Inventor: A hamburger.

GB: A hamburger?

Inventor: Yup, a hamburger.

GB: We’ve already got the hamburger inventor in heaven and honestly we thought he was a good match, but his membership is under review after the obesity crisis and a few angry emails from Michelle Obama – great woman, by the way.

Inventor: No, no, I invented a different hamburger.

GB: I’ve got a lot of people in line right now, you better not be playing games with me. What makes your hamburger so special?

Inventor: It’s very unique, it was—

GB: I swear to boss, if you say Thousand Island Dressing you’re going straight to hell.

Inventor: No. It was grown in a lab. It was an extraordinary accomplishment for science!

GB: A hamburger? Grown in a lab? Okay, Bill Nye

Inventor: Yup! I even have my own Wikipedia page. Wanna see?

GB: …

Inventor: You guys get wi-fi up here?

GB: [Gives annoyed look]

Inventor: What’s your password? It’s asking me for a wi-fi password?

GB: This, “beef” you made, so there was no need for any of god’s creations?

Inventor: Nope. [Still toying with phone]

GB: No cows died? No slaughter houses? You didn’t incorporate any of god’s beautiful makings?

Inventor: Just some test tubes, computers, and stem cells!

GB: NNNNEEEXXXTTT! [Presses lever and scientist drops down into tunnel]

Inventor: NOOOOOOO! Myyyy wiiii-fiiiii siiiiiiigggggnnnnnaaallllllll!

(Scene) 

[johnnylaundry-blog]

Inventor of the Genetically Grown Hamburger is Denied Access to Heaven by God’s Bouncer

God’s Bouncer: Hi there. Heaven or hell, how do you plead?

Inventor: Heaven.

GB: Okay, and what did you contribute to mankind?

Inventor: A hamburger.

GB: A hamburger?

Inventor: Yup, a hamburger.

GB: We’ve already got the hamburger inventor in heaven and honestly we thought he was a good match, but his membership is under review after the obesity crisis and a few angry emails from Michelle Obama – great woman, by the way.

Inventor: No, no, I invented a different hamburger.

GB: I’ve got a lot of people in line right now, you better not be playing games with me. What makes your hamburger so special?

Inventor: It’s very unique, it was—

GB: I swear to boss, if you say Thousand Island Dressing you’re going straight to hell.

Inventor: No. It was grown in a lab. It was an extraordinary accomplishment for science!

GB: A hamburger? Grown in a lab? Okay, Bill Nye

Inventor: Yup! I even have my own Wikipedia page. Wanna see?

GB: …

Inventor: You guys get wi-fi up here?

GB: [Gives annoyed look]

Inventor: What’s your password? It’s asking me for a wi-fi password?

GB: This, “beef” you made, so there was no need for any of god’s creations?

Inventor: Nope. [Still toying with phone]

GB: No cows died? No slaughter houses? You didn’t incorporate any of god’s beautiful makings?

Inventor: Just some test tubes, computers, and stem cells!

GB: NNNNEEEXXXTTT! [Presses lever and scientist drops down into tunnel]

Inventor: NOOOOOOO! Myyyy wiiii-fiiiii siiiiiiigggggnnnnnaaallllllll!

(Scene) 

[johnnylaundry-blog]

Cries from the Bakery

I’ve been visiting local grocery stores just for the free cookie from the bakery. I’ve done this too often and I fear they’re onto me. If you don’t see me tomorrow, I was murdered by bakery managers at Stop & Shop. Let this play as evidence because no one can hear you scream from the bowels of grocery store bakeries.  No one.

God speed all the bakers at dawn may they all cut their thumbs, 

And bleed into their buns 'till they melt away.

The Shins - New Slang

[johnnylaundry-blog]

I'm Getting/Adopting a Dog

I’m not used to small dogs because I grew up with labs, big labs. I love labs because they’re the epitome of big, dumb animals that continue to love…and fetch…and eat…and swim…and destroy everything with their teeth or by coating it in dog fur and letting it suffocate (they shed a lot).

But tomorrow things change. It was once said by the wise Ron Swanson: “Any dog under 50 pounds is a cat and cats are pointless.” Although I tend to agree with this, I find Ella absolutely adorable. Yes, she’s small but what she lacks in “lab-ness” she makes up for in big ears, and isn’t that what it’s all about? Big ears? Right? No? Okay, well for Ella it is.

Honestly, ever since I left my parent’s home, I’ve wanted a dog of my own. I never got one because I wanted to be sure of a few things:

1.       I was financially ready (food, vet, etc.)

2.       I could give it the time and love it deserved

3.       I was at a point where I wouldn’t be changing homes/apartments every year

4.       I found the right dog

Too many people adopt/buy a dog without thinking of the responsibility and care needed. In cases like this, the dog suffers. I don’t want that. I’ve had problems in my past committing to things -- this I confess -- but there’s one thing I have no problem making a commitment to, and that’s something that will love you back. Example: A dog, or a good friend, or a significant other. When there’s a sense of accountability, a feeling to give, I can’t seem to let people or dogs down. A dog will never hold a grudge and so won’t I. I’m fortunate to share this dog with my girlfriend, who I love and know will love the dog just as much as I do.

(Eat your heart out cat lovers! Those things could care less if you die!)

Anyways, so lil’ Ella is a Jack Russel/Corgi mix. Well, at least that’s what her mother is. Her father was obviously an asshole. He basically had his night of fun and then left town, never to be identified (total deadbeat). Poor Ella was sent to a puppy mill down South but then saved by Peace and Paws (a NH based pet adoption group [http://peaceandpaws.com/]) where Cori (my GF) found her on their Facebook. We saw her and she looked like a good pup – she had all her teeth and a real go-getter attitude, so we put in adoptions papers and after being accepted with went to visit her in Portsmouth, NH. She was crazy curious, a little weird, and happy to be alive – I saw a lot of myself in her, so we said yes. Tomorrow I get to ride up to NH, finish the paper work, pay an extremely (EXTREMELY!) reasonable fee and she’s all mine! Well, mine and Cori’s, but more so mine because I’m gonna love the shit out of her…Eh, she probably will too. Regardless, we both plan on giving her an unbelievably happy, healthy, adventurous life. I might even make her a mix tape.

[johnnylaundry-blog]

I'm Getting/Adopting a Dog

I’m not used to small dogs because I grew up with labs, big labs. I love labs because they’re the epitome of big, dumb animals that continue to love…and fetch…and eat…and swim…and destroy everything with their teeth or by coating it in dog fur and letting it suffocate (they shed a lot).

But tomorrow things change. It was once said by the wise Ron Swanson: “Any dog under 50 pounds is a cat and cats are pointless.” Although I tend to agree with this, I find Ella absolutely adorable. Yes, she’s small but what she lacks in “lab-ness” she makes up for in big ears, and isn’t that what it’s all about? Big ears? Right? No? Okay, well for Ella it is.

Honestly, ever since I left my parent’s home, I’ve wanted a dog of my own. I never got one because I wanted to be sure of a few things:

1.       I was financially ready (food, vet, etc.)

2.       I could give it the time and love it deserved

3.       I was at a point where I wouldn’t be changing homes/apartments every year

4.       I found the right dog

Too many people adopt/buy a dog without thinking of the responsibility and care needed. In cases like this, the dog suffers. I don’t want that. I’ve had problems in my past committing to things -- this I confess -- but there’s one thing I have no problem making a commitment to, and that’s something that will love you back. Example: A dog, or a good friend, or a significant other. When there’s a sense of accountability, a feeling to give, I can’t seem to let people or dogs down. A dog will never hold a grudge and so won’t I. I’m fortunate to share this dog with my girlfriend, who I love and know will love the dog just as much as I do.

(Eat your heart out cat lovers! Those things could care less if you die!)

Anyways, so lil’ Ella is a Jack Russel/Corgi mix. Well, at least that’s what her mother is. Her father was obviously an asshole. He basically had his night of fun and then left town, never to be identified (total deadbeat). Poor Ella was sent to a puppy mill down South but then saved by Peace and Paws (a NH based pet adoption group [http://peaceandpaws.com/]) where Cori (my GF) found her on their Facebook. We saw her and she looked like a good pup – she had all her teeth and a real go-getter attitude, so we put in adoptions papers and after being accepted with went to visit her in Portsmouth, NH. She was crazy curious, a little weird, and happy to be alive – I saw a lot of myself in her, so we said yes. Tomorrow I get to ride up to NH, finish the paper work, pay an extremely (EXTREMELY!) reasonable fee and she’s all mine! Well, mine and Cori’s, but more so mine because I’m gonna love the shit out of her…Eh, she probably will too. Regardless, we both plan on giving her an unbelievably happy, healthy, adventurous life. I might even make her a mix tape.

[johnnylaundry-blog]

To Publish or Not to Publish

I’m glad we live in a world where it’s possible to publish or print anything we want. A world where that’s not possible is oppressive and stagnant and close-minded. Opinions are a gift and a difference of opinion is like a ticket to explore and talk and learn and grow and change things.

What I'm trying to say is: If you don’t like the movie, fine, leave the theater, but you might miss something (for better or for worse).

Think Marcel Duchamp, challenging the status quo got people to talk and question, even when it infuriated. Change can come from the worst places.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marcel_Duchamp

[johnnylaundry-blog]

I'm Getting/Adopting a Dog

I’m not used to small dogs because I grew up with labs, big labs. I love labs because they’re the epitome of big, dumb animals that continue to love…and fetch…and eat…and swim…and destroy everything with their teeth or by coating it in dog fur and letting it suffocate (they shed a lot).

But tomorrow things change. It was once said by the wise Ron Swanson: “Any dog under 50 pounds is a cat and cats are pointless.” Although I tend to agree with this, I find Ella absolutely adorable. Yes, she’s small but what she lacks in “lab-ness” she makes up for in big ears, and isn’t that what it’s all about? Big ears? Right? No? Okay, well for Ella it is.

Honestly, ever since I left my parent’s home, I’ve wanted a dog of my own. I never got one because I wanted to be sure of a few things:

1.       I was financially ready (food, vet, etc.)

2.       I could give it the time and love it deserved

3.       I was at a point where I wouldn’t be changing homes/apartments every year

4.       I found the right dog

Too many losers get dogs, neglect them and the dog is left to suffer or be given away. I don’t want that. I’ve had problems in my past committing to things -- this I confess -- but there’s one thing I have no problem making a commitment to, and that’s something that will love you back. Example: A dog, or a good friend, or a significant other. When there’s a sense of accountability, a feeling to give, I can’t seem to let people or dogs down. A dog will never hold a grudge and so won’t I. I’m fortunate to share this dog with my girlfriend, who I love and know will love the dog just as much as I do.

(Eat your heart out cat lovers! Those things could care less if you die!)

Anyways, so lil’ Ella is a Jack Russel/Corgi mix. Well, at least that’s what her mother is. Her father was obviously an asshole. He basically had his night of fun and then left town, never to be identified (total deadbeat). Poor Ella was sent to a puppy mill down South but then saved by Peace and Paws (a NH based pet adoption group [http://peaceandpaws.com/]) where Cori (my GF) found her on their Facebook. We saw her and she looked like a good pup – she had all her teeth and a real go-getter attitude, so we put in adoptions papers and after being accepted with went to visit her in Portsmouth, NH. She was crazy curious, a little weird, and happy to be alive – I saw a lot of myself in her, so we said yes. Tomorrow I get to ride up to NH, finish the paper work, pay an extremely (EXTREMELY!) reasonable fee and she’s all mine! Well, mine and Cori’s, but more so mine because I’m gonna love the shit out of her…Eh, she probably will too. Regardless, we both plan on giving her an unbelievably happy, healthy, adventurous life. I might even make her a mix tape.

[johnnylaundry-blog]

To Publish or Not to Publish

I’m glad we live in a world where it’s possible to publish or print anything we want. A world where that’s not possible is oppressive and stagnant and close-minded. Opinions are a gift and a difference of opinion is like a ticket to explore and talk and learn and grow and change things.

What I'm trying to say is: If you don’t like the movie, fine, leave the theater, but you might miss something (for better or for worse).

Think Marcel Duchamp, challenging the status quo got people to talk and question, even when it infuriated. Change can come from the worst places.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marcel_Duchamp

[johnnylaundry-blog]

Tragic, Right?

Did you know the inventory of the game “Memory” suffered from Alzheimer’s? 

I’m not actually sure if that’s true because I made it up...I’m going to feel so bad if that turns out to be true.

[johnnylaundry-blog]

Lake and Bake: Encountering Maine

I’m at this weird point in my late twenties where I feel an odd distance between my current-life and my college-life. The distance is obviously literal, considering I’ve been out of school for over 5 years now, but I never stopped believing that I freedom would come back to me, like a homing pigeon, or a boomerang, or whatever else comes back to you after leave it…A dog maybe? Unless it gets hit by a car.

Last week I tried to explore this concept on a vacation to Maine with a few friends. I’ll set the scenario: We entered a lake house with well over $200 of liquor and beer and it was our hope to finish it all. We didn’t. We did finish a lot though. Personally, I was quick to feel the pain of hangovers and the guilt of not doing something constructive while drunk, unless winning beer pong is considered constructive. The only thing that stays the same is the people – your friends. Years ago the conversations with my friends were full of girls we were seeing (or trying to see), and whether or not our cars would make the ride home. This trip we talked about long-term saving, craft beers, what married-life is like, the cool new car we want to buy and the fact that most of our dreams (if not all) have collapsed under the pressure of our newfound life in the working world. We all hoped the “9-5 thing” was an expiring concept that would die when we final grabbed hold of our dreams, but it seems it’s here to stay. It works out like this: You get a job. You get lazy after work. You give up on your dreams and your body and your health and whatever else you aspired to achieve once before. A job is a clear indication of our maturity, like the certificate of authenticity that comes with a stamp collection. It’s validating. It’s sobering. It’s exciting to live on your own, to be your own person, to work your own job and build a career. But, there’s still a part of you that thinks it’s temporary. A part of you that thinks it will all go away and you’ll become the musician, the writer, the photographer, the “whatever” person you dreamed would be there since you were a child, because in college you’re drunk with freedom and nothing seems out of reach. We’re all spoiled, little a-holes that think things will work out for us because we know how to play “Santeria” by Sublime on our guitar and that’s all you need to know to be a rock star.

Then, you wake up and go to work. And tomorrow, you’ll wake up and go to work. Soon you realize this thing isn’t going to stop and you’re nervous that your imagination and dreams are just floating in this lake…that’s full of other people’s pee, and trash, and dreams.

Well, regardless of what the conversations bring years after graduation, friends continue to evolve with it and the good friends are the ones that stay through it all – after things get different. It no longer becomes a race to the peak of Mt. Drunkness, but an experience away from the routines of life and a comfort that although things are different now, they’re different for everyone, not just yourself.

Good friends keep you humble and grateful.

And with that, I present some pictures from the trip. 

[johnnylaundry-blog]

Lake and Bake: Encountering Maine

I’m at this weird point in my late twenties where I feel an odd distance between my current-life and my college-life. The distance is obviously literal, considering I’ve been out of school for over 5 years now, but I never stopped believing that I freedom would come back to me, like a homing pigeon, or a boomerang, or whatever else comes back to you after leave it…A dog maybe? Unless it gets hit by a car.

Last week I tried to explore this concept on a vacation to Maine with a few friends. I’ll set the scenario: We entered a lake house with well over $200 of liquor and beer and it was our hope to finish it all. We didn’t. We did finish a lot though. Personally, I was quick to feel the pain of hangovers and the guilt of not doing something constructive while drunk, unless winning beer pong is considered constructive. The only thing that stays the same is the people – your friends. Years ago the conversations with my friends were full of girls we were seeing (or trying to see), and whether or not our cars would make the ride home. This trip we talked about long-term saving, craft beers, what married-life is like, the cool new car we want to buy and the fact that most of our dreams (if not all) have collapsed under the pressure of our newfound life in the working world. We all hoped the “9-5 thing” was an expiring concept that would die when we final grabbed hold of our dreams, but it seems it’s here to stay. It works out like this: You get a job. You get lazy after work. You give up on your dreams and your body and your health and whatever else you aspired to achieve once before. A job is a clear indication of our maturity, like the certificate of authenticity that comes with a stamp collection. It’s validating. It’s sobering. It’s exciting to live on your own, to be your own person, to work your own job and build a career. But, there’s still a part of you that thinks it’s temporary. A part of you that thinks it will all go away and you’ll become the musician, the writer, the photographer, the “whatever” person you dreamed would be there since you were a child, because in college you’re drunk with freedom and nothing seems out of reach. We’re all spoiled, little a-holes that think things will work out for us because we know how to play “Santeria” by Sublime on our guitar and that’s all you need to know to be a rock star.

Then, you wake up and go to work. And tomorrow, you’ll wake up and go to work. Soon you realize this thing isn’t going to stop and you’re nervous that your imagination and dreams are just floating in this lake…that’s full of other people’s pee, and trash, and dreams.

Well, regardless of what the conversations bring years after graduation, friends continue to evolve with it and the good friends are the ones that stay through it all – after things get different. It no longer becomes a race to the peak of Mt. Drunkness, but an experience away from the routines of life and a comfort that although things are different now, they’re different for everyone, not just yourself.

Good friends keep you humble and grateful.

And with that, I present some pictures from the trip. 

[johnnylaundry-blog]

Our house is now covered in nerf darts. This has gotten out of hand. #nerf #lazysunday #laundryday #penguins #wildthings

[johnnylaundry-blog]

Simple Life

I realized that  driving around on weekends, listening to NPR (or a good album -- no skipping!), with a good book (and camera) in the back seat and no destination or plan, might be my happiest moments. If I won the lottery, I'd keep these parts of my life intact and unchanged.