katlc94 - Tumblr blog

[katlc94]

My ED to me after realizing I weigh the exact same as I did a year ago

[katlc94]

I have returned, my body has turned into a blob. Never have I been more motivated to starve and be slim again, can't be heading into Christmas like this.

[katlc94]

Retraining your stomach to not eat after a holiday is the worst, the battle within myself to continue to eat like a king and then hating myself for not getting back to it quick enough is endless.

[katlc94]

The more you eat today the hungrier you'll be tomorrow, we can do this

[katlc94]

My mind spends enough time already thinking about meals and calories, any possible social eating is throwing me into a mental spin. Why must all plans involve food!? I'm going to lose it

[katlc94]

Social plans are the death of my body at the minute, it's so much easier in winter when everyone is at home hibernating

[katlc94]

I feel no sense of content or satisfaction at the minute other than when I have been able to skip a meal. That's my reality currently and I don't completely hate it

[katlc94]

It's funny but even though you guys can't see me I've been too ashamed of my body to come on here recently. I'm back, ready to face myself, own up to my disgusting eating & starve!

[katlc94]

why would i stop starving myself if i’m happiest when i do

[katlc94]

Not that I'm impatient at all but I spend the first 5 minutes of every day checking my body in the mirror for any changes

[katlc94]

One cycle I would like to break is how having one or more plans in a week makes me so stressed about all the possible calorie consumption that I end up binging anyway

[katlc94]

My body is a bank & I get out of it what I put in. If you can put the damn prices on your menu then you can put the calories, let me make informed choices!

[katlc94]

Those times when you are battling your own mind to allow yourself to eat a bit more as your body is in desperate need of fuel and physically struggling. Today was a lot.

[katlc94]

All social plans must now be paused until I suppress the little food demon within me and regain some control ✌️

[katlc94]

How quickly things can go from making progress, feeling light and in control to overeating/binging and feeling like the slug in Monsters Inc

[katlc94]

Guys Easter weekend is through 🙌 wipe the food slate clean and we can restart our bodies today

[katlc94]

It's nice to be out doing things, having plans and spending time with people but ultimately I never go to bed happier than when I know the next day I will be able to limit my calories and starve.