keeponshouting

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that feel when most social media is absolutely slathered in posts about a piece of media that triggers your ptsd so you have to become even more of a hermit than usual and constantly remind yourself that you don't get to choose your triggers or how/when they affect you i mean cool cool cool bitch cool

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hello tumblr. did i ever mention that i was having spinal surgery? well, i had spinal surgery. and now i am contending with some of the worst depression that i have had in years because uh. ptsd and stuff. but yeah. that's it. that's all. just a little update for you. as a treat.

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New hitch in the dating world: my brain's response to someone saying they find me attractive is apparently to shut down because lol bullshit.

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bestie just gave me a life-sized cubone plush for my birthday. brb dying at how cute it is.

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as i am looking into dating again for the first time in a decade, i don't know which is more annoying to find on profiles: people who put zero mention of their sexuality anywhere so you're just left to make assumptions based on their photos/answers to things or straight dudes who obviously think that non-binary is just a new way to say "tomboy"

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In which Grantaire meets Enjolras's brother, they both bond with the bride-to-be, and Enjolras is conflicted over when and how to come out.

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every time i post anything on this godforsaken website i get pm'd by sexbots. i got two after my fic link. "are you comfortable receiving naked pictures of local ladies?" and "my name is ___ and i want to masturbate with older me" like wut?

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I am on my Les Mis shit again, okay? Established E/R relationship with trans Enjolras navigating the process of coming out to his family.

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i swear i’m just too much of a tired old man for social media.

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so much cookie dough in our fridge, y’all. bestie’s made chocolate chip, sugar, and cocoa and might still do shortbread. i’ve made spice, milk, and hamantaschen and still have several batches of tea cookies to make while the kolac dough rises on the 24th.

tomorrow i’m sewing, just for a change of pace.

and most excitingly, i’ve thus far managed to - knock on wood - NOT wind up in hospital! you know, unlike the last two years. is it a christmas miracle? third time’s the charm? idek

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omg y'all, my voice is so squeaky today. Like sometimes I lose my voice and it just gets kind of husky and airy and deep but not this time! Nope! Today, my laugh sounds like a fairy passing gas.

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sup tumblr. your cryptid grandpa over here is sick and cranky and dysphoric af. hope y’all are feeling better than i am.

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is the gradual implosion of twitter really going to force me to move all of my vtubing and art stuff (back) over to tumblr?

so yeah hi, i guess. i’m still alive. still sick. still tired. still depressed. still in pain. still struggling. just waiting on a new computer so I can start getting back into twitch and hopefully the youtubes.

also, allergies are still bullshit.

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Your best is what you can do without harming your mental and physical health, not what you can accomplish when you disregard it.

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got my genetic test results back. the list of psychiatric medications that DO NOT have known potential for adverse genetic interaction was so short that if you subtracted the ones i’ve already tried, you could count the “safe” candidates on your fingers. so yeah.

neurosurgeon in may. disability hearing in june. and i’m going to bed now.

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These look like old timey black and white photos but it’s actually the Mackinac bridge like. Right now

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I haven’t posted in quite a while but I need somewhere to express my extreme frustration regarding the fact that I’ve gone through all the bullshit of taking steroids in an attempt to relieve some of the pain and inflammation from my latest Incident (my leg stopped working! it was great! had to call an ambulance and everything!) only to have the pain come back with a goddamn vengeance halfway through the dose pack. So, happy new year or whatever. Last December/January it was my gallbladder trying to explode. This time a disc is trying to rupture or some such nonsense. ER for Christmas and surgery for the new year are not holiday traditions I’d like my body to begin, thanks, particularly if it continues with this trend of escalation.