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[kisayuri]

The Young Butler (KilluGon Long fic)

An alternative story where Gon is recruited from a young age to work as a Butler for the Zoldycks. KilluGon. Slow-burn romance.

Chapter 1. The Arrival

(Notes at the end) You can find it too on AO3 here: The Young Butler - Kisayuri - Hunter X Hunter [Archive of Our Own] Or here (in Spanish): El joven Mayordomo - Kisayuri - Hunter X Hunter [Archive of Our Own] I hope you like it :)

"You are forbidden from speaking to him, do you understand?".

Killua had never liked being told what to do. He, the heir of the Zoldyck family, a young, skilled, and independent individual, boasting a record of 200 wins in the Heavenly Tower and just recently turning eight years old, considered himself perfectly capable of deciding for himself what he could and could not do. And speaking to the new kid that Tsubone had brought to the Butler's House was, in his opinion, one of those things.

He was walking near the Butler's House when he witnessed his arrival. It was unusual for them to bring in acquisitions so young, he thought, although this wasn't the first time either. What particularly caught his attention about the boy was not only the fact that he was probably the same age as him, but also that despite the situation he was in he didn't seem worried at all. Any other child who had been dragged to the Zoldyck mansion would be crying and begging for their life, but not him. He radiated a vibrant and bright aura, and his eyes—two large brown eyes—shone with curiosity, absorbing everything they saw with the throbbing excitement of discovering a new place.

How did he even get here? Was he bought? Or maybe an abandoned orphan? Did they really think he was good enough to recruit him to join their family's Butlers?

Out of nowhere, those eyes were on him. Gold versus blue, both filled with deep curiosity about the other. He lifted his hand to wave, and the other guy's lips curved into a quick, fleeting smile before Tsubone pulled him inside the building.

"He's just a Butler in training. He's none of your concern," Mother said firmly, pulling him away. "He's beneath you".

Well, that was for him to decide.

~~~~~~

When he saw him for the second time, only a couple of weeks had passed. Despite his attempts to hasten their next meeting by returning to the same place, Mother's constant presence behind him like an unyielding shadow made it impossible. So, when he stumbled upon him by chance, wandering in the forest just a couple of hundred yards from the Zoldyck Mansion, he couldn't help but feel a surge of daring excitement.

That day, something in the forest caught his attention. He didn't know why, but he felt something there was waiting for him. Following his purest instinct, he ventured deeper. Shaking off his caretaker wasn't particularly hard, considering she had to look after Alluka and Kalluto before him. 

At that moment, the forest was in its full glory, not the glory of a radiant spring, but a dark, gloomy splendor, fitting the place and matching his mood. The sun's rays barely reached the ground due to the dense tree canopies, creating a sinister play of light and shadow over the root-filled floor. The scent was far from fresh; it was heavy and thick, filling the air with an earthy, musty smell.

He found him upon reaching the small clearing.

The new Butler was sitting on one of the massive roots sinking into the ground, leaning back against the trunk. His eyes were closed, and for a moment, he thought he was sleeping.

After watching him for a few moments, Killua slowly approached, silent, circling him cautiously as his brother had trained him, making no sound, feeling out the ground before drawing his attention. His eyes carefully studied the boy. He sat stiffly against the trunk, dressed elegantly like the rest of the Butlers there, in a white shirt now dirtied from his escapades through the forest. And his age? From down here, it was hard to gauge, but he didn't seem much taller than him. Maybe…

"Are you Killua?" the boy suddenly asked.

Killua jumped, his brow furrowing, momentarily upset with himself for being caught off guard. He couldn't have heard him, that was impossible. Plus, the boy still wasn't looking at him. He hadn't even turned his way!

"How do you know that?" he reply, unable to keep a slight edge of annoyance out of his tone.

A lazy smile played at the corners of the boy's mouth, unfazed by the other's irritated tone, and now, he opened his eyes and fixed them on him. Once again, Killua saw that same spark of excitement in them, the same one he had noticed days before. But now, instead of being excited about the place he was in, he seemed thrilled merely by his presence there. He watched him intently, with no hint of fear. He frowned again. Was it happiness he detected? Or perhaps, he thought confidently, it was simply obliviousness to where he was.

"Tsubone has told me about you," he said excitedly, adjusting his posture to face him from the root. "She says I'm not allowed to talk to you, nor come here, or even leave the house, really."

"Yeah, but how did you see me?"

He flashed a mischievous smile.

"Well, actually, I smelled you."

Killua paused, trying to figure out if what the boy was telling him was true or if he was just trying to pull his leg.

"So why are you here?" he concluded.

"I wanted to meet you. Are you the only kid here?"

"Maybe. What's your name?"

"I'm Gon! Is all this place yours?"

"My family's. How old are you?"

"Eight!"

"Ah, me too."

They both fell silent. Killua hadn't been far off in his guess then. They looked at each other for a while, sizing up, analyzing each other without a word, deciding if maybe, just maybe, the other was thinking the same thing at that moment.

He wasn't entirely sure how right this was. Not just the fact that Gon was here, so far from the Butler House, but talking to him. Wasn't this exactly what his family tried to avoid at all costs, him having any kind of contact with the outside world? In his eight years of life, he had barely interacted with a couple of butlers and caretakers, other than his own family. But now, the idea of secretly getting to know someone else somehow appealed to him.

He opened his mouth to say it, but it wasn't his voice that asked the question, loud and clear.

It was Gon who said it.

"Do you want to be my friend?"

The stern face of Mother flashed in his mind, and for a moment, he wondered what she might do if she found out. Even worse, he thought about what his brother Illumi might do.

He smiled.

"Okay." Gon flashed him a huge smile. "But," he added, lifting a finger in a warning gesture, "no one can find out. If Mother or my brother or any of the Butlers find out, they might kill you. "

Now it was Gon's turn to pause and think, and Killua quickly noticed how his cheerful expression shifted. Worry? Doubt, confusion? ...Fear? For a few moments, young Zoldyck regretted having mentioned that last bit.

He's going to say no, get scared, and go back to the House.

Then, Gon winked at him, shrewdly.

"Then it'll have to be a secret."

Fearless , Killua thought. And he couldn't help but smile.

~~~~~~

But fearless wasn't the only adjective that could be attributed to Gon, and that was something Killua discovered not too long after. From that day on, Gon's recklessness consistently had him toeing that dangerous line between mere fun and a more than imminent death just to visit him; a line usually defined by Mother's presence behind them, waiting in hiding, shotgun in hand. He was fully aware that on many occasions, he had narrowly saved his own skin by mere seconds.

And yet, Gon kept seeking him out whenever he could. Like a whirlwind of impulsivity ready to challenge any rule, sometimes he'd show up to show him some new bug he'd found, other times to sit and talk quietly away from adults, and sometimes just to say hi in passing, a quick reminder that he was still around while each of them continued with their lives in their own area.

But Gon wasn't just chaotic, Killua thought: he was also brave and determined. In essence, he was everything a Butler wasn't supposed to be, and often, Killua couldn't help but boast from the roof of the House or behind a tree at the sight of Gotoh or old Tsubone reprimanding Gon, trying to discipline him with punishments or training sessions that kept him up all night. Nothing he himself wasn't already used to, in any case.

What they didn't know was that the young Butler hardly cared about all that. Because despite everything, Gon enjoyed it. Meanwhile, a small part of Killua could only wonder how long all of this could last.

~~~~~~

"Are you sure it was this way?"

The constant crunching of underbrush under Gon's feet grated on Killua's nerves behind him. Every step was accompanied by a "crack" of dry branches breaking, echoing in the forest's silence as they moved forward together. After several minutes, Killua finally stopped with a dramatic sigh.

"Gon, you're so loud," he scolded, "what kind of Butler are you if you can't even move quietly?"

"It's not that easy," Gon replied, stopping too to look at him, and as he did, another branch cracked under him. He smiled sheepishly. "Sorry."

Killua rolled his eyes. He wasn't actually worried. Father had taken his brother Illumi on a family mission, and Mother had left the Mansion for a trip to who knows where, so they could proceed without worry about getting caught playing together.

"Yeah, I think it was this way." His eyes scanned the vegetation around them, looking for something. It didn't take long for him to find it, and with a satisfied smile, he pointed at a tree a few meters away from them. "See that mark there? I made it. We're going the right way." He took a few steps towards it and placed his hand on the bark. "We need to climb."

Gon nodded emphatically and moved to stand next to him. The tree was thick and so tall that they couldn't see the top, hidden among the branches of the surrounding trees, but Killua knew that if he had been able to climb it, then Gon was perfectly capable of doing so as well. They glanced at each other, and a mischievous smile crept across their faces: that was all the signal they needed. Without waiting another second, both of them clambered onto the tree and began to climb it at full speed in an impromptu race to the top.

They ascended with agility, panting as they clung to the branches with firm and confident movements, not stopping for a second and with smiles on their faces. Among gasps and laughter, the dispute over who reached the top first erupted as they reached the last of the branches.

"Ha! I won, I won!"

"No way, I got here first!"

"Liar!"

But that little argument died as quickly as it had started when Gon caught sight of where they were, and Killua smiled with satisfaction at his expression.

From the top, the view stretched into the vastness of the landscape, extending beyond the Zoldyck territory. If the forest surrounding the Mansion was gloomy and dark, the perspective from the top of the tree changed everything. The sunset sun, previously invisible due to the dense branches and vegetation, bathed the treetops in its reddish and ochre tones, enveloping them in a warm and welcoming atmosphere, completely opposite to what one might expect living in that place. Gon gazed out at this wonderful landscape, mesmerized.

"Do you like it?" Killua asked, with a mischievous smile. "I found it escaping from Mother the other day. Wanted to hide out to skip training. There aren't many trees tall enough to see everything like this," he explained. Gon smiled at his friend's proud look.

"Does anyone else know about this place?"

Killua shook his head and settled onto the thick branch.

"Just us."

Gon moved closer and sat down next to him.

They stayed quiet for a while, enjoying the views and each other's company. A sense of well-being enveloped both of them, something relatively new for Killua. He tried to relax, allowing himself to enjoy their company, the freedom this secret place offered, now shared just between the two of them. Gon was like a breath of fresh air in that place, so different from his family or any other Butler. Had it not been for his presence, he probably would have overlooked this spot, treating it like any other, but not with him by his side. How had he managed to change his perspective so much in just a couple of months?

Suddenly, he felt a slight shiver, and the soft smile that had adorned his face faded away. He hadn't noticed it before, but now he couldn't understand how it could have escaped his attention. Beyond the thick forest, the Zoldyck Mansion emerged among the trees like an entity in itself, just a couple of miles away from where they were, imposing, majestic, like an immutable guardian watching over all beings there. Watching them.

"You don't have to worry," Gon urged him, offering a comforting smile as he placed his hand on top of his. "Thanks for bringing me here. And for wanting to be my friend too."

Killua blinked, surprised by the sudden contact. Gradually, the expression on his face softened at the gesture, but he couldn't prevent a blush from crossing his cheeks.

"No..." he replied in barely an inaudible whisper. He quickly withdrew his hand and averted his gaze. "...No need to thank me."

...Thanks to you.

Final Notes: I dedicate this beginning to a few (of the many) AO3 authors who have led me into this beautiful and lively fandom with their stories, inspiring me to write my own, and I truly hope to encounter more: to Ash_1875, Nebulasaurus, WhisperingMolly, leahistyping, and GonKilluLuciel. And a special one to Lady_Hiako for supporting the Spanish fandom so strongly. Thank you very much to all, and also to those who read. The fandom wouldn't be anything without all of us. And that's it for the first chapter. I already have practically the entire structure planned out, so it'll just be a matter of writing and polishing the scenes. I don't want to venture to say how much time there will be between each chapter, but I'll be completely focused on it. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do writing it, and don't hesitate to let me know what you think. In the next chapter, we'll be joining Gon and Killua at age 12, but remember: this is a slow-burn romance. We'll continue to take it slow and enjoy the journey ;) See you soon! :D (And please, don't hesitate to correct me if you need to).

[kisayuri]

An Unfinished Conversation

(KilluGon one-shot)

After facing the Chimera Ants and going through an experience that nearly cost Gon his life, Killua and Gon reunite in the hospital.

They still have a pending conversation.

~~~~~~~~~

In the end, everything turned out fine.

His parents have finally lifted the alert about him and Alluka. Illumi is far away from him and his sister, and Nanika will stay with them for a long time. And Gon...

Gon is safe.

That sentence repeats in his mind. Over and over again.

Gon is safe.

Gon is okay.

Gon is alive.

So, why did he feel so terrible?

~~~

His fingers nervously gripped his cell phone. He knew Gon had been awake for several hours now, but not until his family gave him the green light did he even consider reaching out to see how he was. As far as he's concerned, Killua is now en route to the city after trying to find a way to save him, a feeble excuse to justify his sudden recovery. Now, sitting on a bench outside the hospital with his sister Alluka, they await his friend's arrival.

With a deep sigh, he leans heavily against the wooden backrest of the bench. His thoughts swirl with uncontrollable emotions he doesn't want to confront, but he can't help it: every time he closes his eyes, his mind drifts back to that forest. And he remembers that nen that was Gon, yet at the same time, wasn't. A nen filled with pure rage and desperation that could obliterate everything in its path. A destructive nen that wasn't Gon.

He feels a lump forming in his throat.

"Why did you have to do it that way?" he whispered to himself. "Were you so desperate that you couldn't even wait for me?"

He just wants things to go back to normal.

The sound of his phone interrupts his train of thought. Checking the screen, he notices at least twelve missed calls from Leorio. However, he knows it's not Leorio who's calling.

He only lets it ring twice before answering.

"KILLUA?!" Gon's voice echoes in his ear, causing his heart to skip a beat. It takes him a few seconds to find the words and to overcome the tightness in his throat.

"Hey, Gon," he finally answers. "Are you-"

"Killua! Where are you? We need to talk right now, Kite...! Kite's alive! I have to tell you everything... And- and I met Ging! Where are you, are you okay?"

"Gon, Gon," he interrupts. Beside him, his sister looks on with curiosity. "I'm at Swardani hospital. Where are you?"

"In the car! Leorio's driving me, we're heading there now! Don't move!"

"... I'll wait here."

"And, Killua..."

"Hm?" He waits, intrigued by the sudden change in his friend's tone.

"... Never mind... See you soon."

As soon as he hangs up the phone, he covers his eyes with one hand and an uncontrollable smile of relief spreads across his lips. He can sense the joy in his sister's voice when she asks if Gon's okay, and a nearly imperceptible tear escapes from the corner of his eye as he nods.

It's the same old Gon again.

~~~

Restlessly, Gon hangs up Leorio's phone and returns it to him.

"How did it go?" Leorio asks, not taking his eyes off the road as he slips the phone back into his pocket. Gon glances at him with a heavy look.

"Well... He didn't seem mad."

"Of course, he isn't!" Leorio exclaims. "You just woke up from a coma and both of you have been through a lot. How could he be mad at you?"

Gon opens his mouth to reply, but Leorio beats him to it.

"Look... Whatever happened between you two, it's in the past, okay? What matters is everything turned out fine. Killua's your best friend. Stop worrying."

But Gon is worried. It's been less than a full day since he woke up. He finally met Ging, then learned of Kite's return, and that everyone's okay. At that moment, his head was a whirlwind of emotions, with joy, confusion, and relief intertwined.

But there is something else.

In the midst of all the happiness, what he still remembers, what's still embedded deep within, is that overwhelming rage that blinded him and set him aflame from the inside out. His body, mind, and heart all disintegrating, burning him up.

He also remembers Killua, always having his back with unwavering calmness. He had always been the calm that his storm needed. But this time Gon messed up. He let his storm rage on, hurting even his friend in the process.

And that hurt him the most.

~~~

"Why are you so nervous, brother?"

"I'm not nervous," Killua murmurs, turning to her with a smile. "I'm excited. I finally get to introduce you to Gon! You'll see, Alluka!" he exclaims with feigned happiness. But it's not true, and neither is his smile. Alluka can still see it in his eyes. The truth is, anxiety is eating him alive.

It's just Gon, what's wrong with me?

Alluka shakes her head.

"Brother, are you sad because you're mad at Gon?"

His smile freezes.

And he realizes Alluka has hit the nail on the head.

Of course, he's mad at Gon. How could he not be?

"KILLUA!"

And there he was. Killua takes a deep breath and turns to Leorio's car that's just parked a few yards away. Gon's head pops out of the window, and as soon as they stop, he jumps out and runs toward him.

How could he not be, after Gon had done that to himself?

Killua rises from the bench somewhat slowly and takes a few steps forward to meet him, signaling his sister to wait behind.

How could he not feel this way after putting him through the worst days of his life, making him believe he'd lose him?

Gon finally stops in front of him. His eyes have always been an open window for Killua. Now he can clearly see guilt and worry and regret. However, a shy smile appears at the corner of his mouth. His heart hesitates.

How could he not feel this way... after almost leaving him forever?

"You've recovered," Killua murmurs. It's not a question, just an acknowledgment. He can notice how Gon slightly flinches at his tone.

Always the same. It's always me who cleans up your messes, but this time...

"Yes..." He scratches the back of his neck, avoiding Killua's intense gaze.

Killua wants to be angry with him. He wants him to apologize for everything, for being a fool who doesn't think before he acts. For leaving him. For moving on without him.

…For making him feel utterly alone again.

...This time you have to apologize.

Everything happens in just a split second. Suddenly, Gon's face crumples, and his golden eyes are flooded with a sea of tears like Killua has never seen before.

He sighs, feeling his strength crumbling.

"Gon..." he barely whispers.

"KILLUA, I'M SO SORRY!" he exclaims. "I've been such an idiot, I shouldn't have said everything I told you! And I was...!" He sniffles, "I was so angry and so sad and so out of it that..." He pauses for just a few seconds, searching for the right words. Finally, unable, he shakes his head. His eyes once again lock onto those of his friend. The only thing left in them now is pure sincerity. Killua watches him without saying a word. But what hurts me the most is that I've hurt you, Killua, a lot, and it's something I can never forgive myself for," he concludes, fixing his gaze on the floor before raising it back to him. "Honestly... right now, I don't deserve to be your friend."

Then something clicks in Killua's mind. What did he just say?

Without a second thought, he takes a step towards him and hugs him tightly. Gon doesn't hesitate and returns the hug even more forcefully, burying his face in his shoulder.

"Gon, you big idiot..." he begins with a sad smile, resting his chin on his friend's neck, "you're the best friend I could ever imagine having. And there's no way that can change," he continues. At this moment, his legs feel like jelly. He's acutely aware that what he's about to do, open up to someone to show his vulnerability, is something he's never tried, not even with Gon. He's grateful to be able to tell him without having to meet his big puppy eyes directly. "It's true that everything that's happened has hurt me a lot," he admits in a whisper, "but not being able to handle the situation, to help you... to be there for you, before everything happened... was undoubtedly the worst," he sighs heavily. "But it doesn't matter if you leave, if you do some absurd nonsense again, if we fight, I..." His hand tightly grips Gon's back. It's extremely hard for him to voice all these words out loud. He can't help but lower his voice, and a slight blush creeps onto his cheeks. "Listen closely because I won't repeat it, okay?" Gon nods against his neck, paying full attention. "Gon, I'll always want to be by your side. No matter what, who, or when. You're the most important person to me, and nothing can change that."

Killua surprises himself by feeling totally calm now.

"So don't you dare say something as stupid as you don't deserve to be my friend again, because I'll beat you up, you moron."

Gon nods without letting go of him yet, unable for the first time in his life to speak a word, something that Killua appreciates, just this once.

Now, at last, everything is alright again.

My goodness, the first story I've ever written. I truly hope that those of you who've made it this far have enjoyed it as much as I did writing it. The original ending in the series was terribly weak, and I couldn't rest until I wrote my own version.

Thank you so much for reading. I hope to continue sharing more stories about these two soon :)