kiwiwioui

[kiwiwioui]

Alright guys, the time of boys, girls and enbys is over. The new gender is clown. A silly little lad if you will. Jestrogen will be distributed at your local drugstores promptly.

[kiwiwioui]

There was a great comfort in the immutable presence of the sky, as freedom was difficult without the promise of a sunrise and hope was impossible when the vastness of infinity was invisible.

[kiwiwioui]

Sometimes I forget my hyperfixations are not unique, and more often than not super popular, and so when I see or hear it offhandedly mentioned I get whiplash from

“YOU LIKE IT TOO?!” :DD

And then I remember, that literally anyone who hasn’t lived under a rock knows what it is, and it doesn’t mean they enjoy it like I do.

[kiwiwioui]

Desperately trying to decide what video essay I want to fall asleep too.

Do I listen to someone talking about deep space, or drug trafficking? Who knows, both are ripe with information

[kiwiwioui]

I have just come to the horrible realization that Big Ed looks like the Sontarans from Doctor Who and I feel so bad for even thinking it.

However.

The resemblance is uncanny, and I can’t deal with it.

[kiwiwioui]

I regularly ask people how to spell their names because I forget, or am too assed to remember, but then it gets real awkward when their name is ‘Alice’ or ‘David’ because there is so few conceivable ways to spell it other than the typical version

[kiwiwioui]

You are correct Mx fish and your words resonate with hundreds

I need someone to hold me gently and it's getting critical

[kiwiwioui]

It’s called having self-realizing thoughts, Felix. Get with the system

I sleep like a freshly fallen corpse on the sidewalk, arms bent unnaturally and legs at a 145 degree angle as I practice for my inevitable homicide

[kiwiwioui]

I sleep like a freshly fallen corpse on the sidewalk, arms bent unnaturally and legs at a 145 degree angle as I practice for my inevitable homicide

[kiwiwioui]

Too much for my attention span on one post, but I feel the codependency question is the most important one, or, at least the most thought provoking. I think it’s unhealthy, but I truly don’t think that it’s avoidable, because all sentient beings will form a connection to those similar to them. And if there is only one other being in the all of existence who can even begin to understand your plights, you’re gonna latch on and never let go.

BUT ITS ALSO INEVITABLE THAT SOMETHING WILL HAPPEN. In Good Omens, I know that they will have a happy ending. I know it. Mr. Gaiman will give them the joy of being together at last. But I also know that the world doesn’t end after the narrative. The world keeps churning, and there will be SOMETHING that leaves them separated forever. It makes me nauseous to think about it, but it has to be said that they don’t get the ending of dying of old age and knowing that the other will join them in a month or a year, or a few years, like we have. They’re immortal. So does one keep chugging on, forever alone, because it is impossible to not be, or do they join each other even if it’s not by natural means.

It’s addressed in fanfics I’m sure, but I’ve never seen anybody go into too much detail.

Anyways, good for thought. Sorry if I made you sad. I made me sad :{

At what point do lives become so intrinsically connected, that it impossible to live without the other?

When living is the equivalent of needing to breathe, and when they’re gone, so are your lungs. But, you can’t die, not technically. Some otherworldly force keeps you alive, forces oxygen into your blood, forces your heart to beat at a normal pace. But you’re standing there, suffocating, starving for something, someone, but they’re gone.

You’re alive, but not living, because how can you live when you can’t breathe in the most literal sense of the word.

When do people become so intertwined with each other, that it isn’t an emotional turmoil that is an ocean to swim across. When hurricanes, and typhoons keep pushing you away from land, but there is land. It’s hard, it feels impossible to do, but you have people throwing life savers and beckoning you home.

When does that ocean of mourning become the universe? Endless, empty, and so cold. There is no end to the typhoons and waves pushing you away from land, because there is no land. It is just space, and you’re there, without your anchor. At what point does the loss of a connection become so utterly hopeless that there is no end. There is no grief to overcome, or hardship to endure. There just is.

Are these interwoven lives even possible for humans? We live such blissfully short lives, and there are billions of people on Earth, and the one thing we all have in common, is that we live for but a blink in the long eternity that is the universe. There is comfort, and distress in those notions, but it is an irrefutable fact, that there are billions of people like us in that one way, and trillions that were.

But what if we lived longer, what if we outlived the tortoises who clamber from their burrows, or the whales who live for hundreds of years, or the clams who can live for thousands. What then? Would we still be human? Would we ever be able to achieve this conformity, this, love, whatever form it may take.

I don’t think so.

We still all live the same life spans, we die, though it takes longer, but that merely allows us to live slower, grieve longer. But with grief comes recovery. Grief is an ocean.

Hopelessness is a universe.

But what if you lived, without a set expiration date. You lived forever. You couldn’t die, save for an unfortunate accident that can be avoided. You can hurt, and cry, and laugh. But death isn’t an option. You live, you aren’t human, but you are among them. They laugh too, and smile at you, but you’ve met millions of humans, and none of them have known you long enough to know your life. It would take their entire lifespan to recount the events of yours. It’s lonely, but you have no choice. But there is one other, who is as eternal as you. You’re very different, but thousands of human generations leaves the only two who can truly talk together. You know that they are the only one in all of existence who can understand you. The only being who you can truly love because no human lives long enough for the emotions to form.

What happens when they’re gone? Is there grieving to be done? Should you swim to land, through the troubles and turmoils of loss because the only being who could ever understand you is gone. Or are you in the universe, never, ever able to heal and forever floating.

What happens when you’re alone in the universe? And is this reliance on another being unhealthy? A severe co-dependence that you should be wary of. Or is it inevitable? Being so thoroughly intertwined with another being because they’re the only one.

I don’t think humans are capable of this. We always have something in common with one another.

We die, and we die fast. And despite everything, we’re never alone.

[kiwiwioui]

At what point do lives become so intrinsically connected, that it impossible to live without the other?

When living is the equivalent of needing to breathe, and when they’re gone, so are your lungs. But, you can’t die, not technically. Some otherworldly force keeps you alive, forces oxygen into your blood, forces your heart to beat at a normal pace. But you’re standing there, suffocating, starving for something, someone, but they’re gone.

You’re alive, but not living, because how can you live when you can’t breathe in the most literal sense of the word.

When do people become so intertwined with each other, that it isn’t an emotional turmoil that is an ocean to swim across. When hurricanes, and typhoons keep pushing you away from land, but there is land. It’s hard, it feels impossible to do, but you have people throwing life savers and beckoning you home.

When does that ocean of mourning become the universe? Endless, empty, and so cold. There is no end to the typhoons and waves pushing you away from land, because there is no land. It is just space, and you’re there, without your anchor. At what point does the loss of a connection become so utterly hopeless that there is no end. There is no grief to overcome, or hardship to endure. There just is.

Are these interwoven lives even possible for humans? We live such blissfully short lives, and there are billions of people on Earth, and the one thing we all have in common, is that we live for but a blink in the long eternity that is the universe. There is comfort, and distress in those notions, but it is an irrefutable fact, that there are billions of people like us in that one way, and trillions that were.

But what if we lived longer, what if we outlived the tortoises who clamber from their burrows, or the whales who live for hundreds of years, or the clams who can live for thousands. What then? Would we still be human? Would we ever be able to achieve this conformity, this, love, whatever form it may take.

I don’t think so.

We still all live the same life spans, we die, though it takes longer, but that merely allows us to live slower, grieve longer. But with grief comes recovery. Grief is an ocean.

Hopelessness is a universe.

But what if you lived, without a set expiration date. You lived forever. You couldn’t die, save for an unfortunate accident that can be avoided. You can hurt, and cry, and laugh. But death isn’t an option. You live, you aren’t human, but you are among them. They laugh too, and smile at you, but you’ve met millions of humans, and none of them have known you long enough to know your life. It would take their entire lifespan to recount the events of yours. It’s lonely, but you have no choice. But there is one other, who is as eternal as you. You’re very different, but thousands of human generations leaves the only two who can truly talk together. You know that they are the only one in all of existence who can understand you. The only being who you can truly love because no human lives long enough for the emotions to form.

What happens when they’re gone? Is there grieving to be done? Should you swim to land, through the troubles and turmoils of loss because the only being who could ever understand you is gone. Or are you in the universe, never, ever able to heal and forever floating.

What happens when you’re alone in the universe? And is this reliance on another being unhealthy? A severe co-dependence that you should be wary of. Or is it inevitable? Being so thoroughly intertwined with another being because they’re the only one.

I don’t think humans are capable of this. We always have something in common with one another.

We die, and we die fast. And despite everything, we’re never alone.

[kiwiwioui]

God tier username, nothing changes unless I’m inconceivably silly

Imma do this because I’m fucking bored.

What’s your url?

Now take away any and all numbers (1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,0), take away the letters F, Z, M, Q, L, H, B, T, P, E, A, Y, S, B, D, and X, take away all dashes (-),

What’s your new fucked up version of your url?

crustycreature

crucrur

[kiwiwioui]

Me, pulling out my police issue riot shield when I put the bacon on the hot grease

The bacon, pulling out all the stops and neo-dodging the shield and getting on my arms regardless

[kiwiwioui]

The Starmaker felt fear for the first time in his infinitesimal existence.

They blinked, one by one, against the inky backdrop of space. Nebulae and galaxies swirled lazily and contentedly, blissfully unaware of his fate. Soon though, they would be overtaken. There would be no space, or stars, or little asteroid belts to dance around planets, or strays to dash haphazardly into their sides when they get too excited.

They would be stolen away from the Starmaker, who painstakingly and lovingly crafted each and every one. He carved pieces of his heart away to be planets, and painted the oldest stars in his blood to send them into their next phase in a proud blaze of glory. The delicate swirls of oort clouds were the frozen breaths he left behind when the heating was forgotten. It was a quick fix, but he immortalized their beauty.

The Starmaker was destined to lose everything that he had worked on since before time had even existed, and the universe sat in a state of bliss.

He knew that no one could ever love the stars like he did. So one lonesome night on a planet still so young and fresh, who still danced gleefully around its star and sang parables with its siblings, the Starmaker began his search.

One who would love his creations, and seek out the questions of the universe. Who would nurture shy asteroids, and provide comfort to the stars as they begin to fade.

He needed a Starkeeper, who would take care of his stars to the best of their ability, and love the stars with every fibre of their being, and to ensure that their endless, and vast expanse of space was the next step, rather than an impasse.

A Starkeeper.

[kiwiwioui]

If you’re still doing request, is it OK if you either

Describe writing a panic attack?

Or

Describe someone who has gray eyes?

-> a link for gray eye descriptions: x

How to Write a Panic Attack

Physical Symptoms of a Panic Attack:

pounding or racing heart

sweating

chills

trembling

difficulty breathing

weakness or dizziness

tingly or numb hands

chest pain

stomach pain or nausea

feeling lightheaded

tense muscles

dry mouth

constriction in the chest

feeling like they're being choked

Other Symptoms:

heightened vigilance for danger and physical symptoms

anxious and irrational thinking

a strong feeling of dread, danger or foreboding

fear of going mad, losing control, or dying

feelings of unreality and detachment from the environment

Triggers for a Panic Attack:

something unexpected (ex: a phone call)

a reminder (objects, smells, locations, specific phrases, etc. that can be tied back to a traumatic experience)

stress (from work, a relationship, family, etc. that has been building up)

silence (ex: being alone in a quiet room. The silence can amplify a sense of isolation)

flashbacks (a trigger that causes the person to flash back to a traumatic memory)

out of nowhere (sometimes panic attacks just get triggered by seemingly nothing)

Writing Prompts:

-> feel free to edit and adjust pronouns as you see fit.

He couldn't breathe. Oh God, he couldn't breathe and he was going to die.

She knew the panic was building up, but it crashed over her like a tsunami that swept her off her feet. The pull threatened to pull her out to sea and it was all-consuming.

They felt the panic begin to wrap its arms around them like a shadow.

"Is it okay if I hold your hand?"

"Don't touch me-- don't touch me!"

Her mind was running at a million miles a second but she couldn't pinpoint a single thought.

"It's okay. You're safe."

An icy hand had reached through their ribcage and was squeezing their heart. They couldn't breathe and they didn't know what to do to regain their breath.

"My chest hurts. It hurts."

"I can't!"

They were a crumpled heap, stowed away in the corner as tears streamed down their face.

She felt like she was on a boat out at sea, the room swaying and adding to the nausea that was washing over her.

He felt like he was having a heart attack.

They gasped for air but each breath felt shallower than the last.

She could hear her heart pounding in her ears, beating like a panicked drum to the rhythm of her fear.

He felt like he was standing on the edge of a building.

They couldn't move. It was like someone was holding down their limbs, the panic rendering them utterly frozen.

[kiwiwioui]

With how much I’ve been getting hurt the past week I think someone has either hexed me or I’m just a dumbass and it’s finally catching up to me

[kiwiwioui]

Life is pointless when lived in fear.

It curdles the mind, and dims the soul.

And as the world shrivels and sneers

You’ve finally filled your role.

You’ve killed the earth

Without discretion

To prove your worth

And get to Heaven

“Heaven” —Caine Carter