kungfuzen-blog

[kungfuzen-blog]

Do The Twist

Reality is shifting ceaselessly on grounds of quicksand. Its particles are the bits and bytes of information currencies. Today they may be celebrating you as a hero, tomorrow you‘re being blown to bits by a rocket sent by remote control via satellites that are orbiting the planet beyond visibility. Today you may feel safe, toeing the line and tagging along with the majority, tomorrow you‘ll be buried as colateral damage ...

So it‘s not a matter of which side to choose anymore, if it has ever been. It may not even be a matter of values anymore, because how to define values but in words. How to judge people and their deeds and behavior but in words ...

Old timers still put the blame on computers and digitalisation. Claiming you can‘t trust your eyes and ears any longer. But actually it‘s all there if you look and listen closely, if you know where to look and what questions to ask ...

Following the traces of contradictions and incongruencies, tripping over missing links, anyone with an independent mind will become aware of the dark forces at work. As scientists unabashedly admit that they cannot account for more than 95% of the matter and energies required to have life and the universe going the way they do, at least according to their theories and computer simulations, likewise in politics, and reality in general ...

Including you, ma cherie, and me. No one ever says what they really mean, hardly anyone is even aware of what they really want, what their true motivations are. All of us playing power games of hide and seek. Usually, when found out, people simply deny any subtext to their actions and behavior. Instead they call me a paranoid. Any circumstantial evidence is dismissed as proof of my paranoia ...

I have learned to shut up and go my way alone. I wasn‘t prepared for someone like you. Someone who could out-silence me and send me spinning down the roller coaster of my paranoia to come out on top again in the liquid glow of your amber eyes ...

As Bob Marley put it, you gotta find someone who is worth the suffering they may inflict ...

[kungfuzen-blog]

Psy Ops

World War III had begun, clandestinely, a while ago. No official declaration required, just do it. It‘s not a real war anyway. No front lines, no armies that might be identified by their uniform or the colors they are brandishing. No one brandishing anything, not even weapons. Any visible damage is labeled colateral. Oops, sorry. The real thing is going down invisibly ...

Ultimately it‘s a war on the very concept of reality. A psychic war. The trigger event was 9/11. Staged to put the fear in us and get us hypnotized, easy to hold in line as we are being led to the slaughter house. But of course, even the slaughtering doesn‘t have the appearance of butchering and slaughtering. It‘s the weather conditions, stupid ...

Same as Pearl Harbor, where the U.S. of A., God‘s Own Country, sacrificed thousands of their own people as a prelude to sacrifice hundreds of thousands more to get the folks back home in the mood for war. Setting up the Japanese to have an excuse to drop the bomb on them. Japan today, the rest of the world tomorrow. Currently it is North Korea they are setting up ...

With the demise of communism as a threat and an enemy, people had to be served a new scapegoat to blame for the problems they encounter wherever they turn and look. The scapegoat serves as an excuse to wield war in regions of special interest for the ruling power farts. Regions with natural resources, namely oil, gas and water ...

How nice that the people who live in those areas look, smell, talk, dress and behave extremely strange and unusual by the standards of folks back home. And how easily they fall for schemes that come across as support in the name of freedom and independence. Until, without warning, those heroes of freedom and independence find themselves bombed and blown to bits in the name of those very same words they had believed to be defending ...

[kungfuzen-blog]

Smooth Operators

Fear is a self-fulfilling prophecy. People being terrified by everything they don‘t understand, they make everyone who is different from them a threat, potential at first but soon for real, if only in self-defense. Thus the paranoia of the common and ordinary conceives, germinates, feeds and raises the sleepers and terrorists in its own traumatized mind ...

Paranoid or not, there are parties who profit from fear and the chaos that ensues. The more people feel threatened, the more life seems out of control, the more people will call for law and order. Anyone who has the means and the power to re-install a semblance of these and to maintain a state of affairs with calculable risks and a fairly predictable outcome will be hailed as our savior to whom they will happily surrender ...

For those who have trouble replacing their dreams with the standard edition of comfort and complacency, pharma and the people in white have a choice of drugs on offer that are designed to make things look pleasant and nice ...

What they assume to be pleasant for us, the dumb and unenlightened. Assuming us to be as stupid and retarded as they need us to be for their computer simulations to make sense. Anyone who doesn‘t comply with the official, computer simulated version of real and healthy is diagnosed as deranged and locked up for some more serious treatment ...

Science, pharma, and the professionals of mental and emotional hygiene are at war with life, mind and imagination, with our heart and soul. Everyone cut down to standard size, air-brushed and stream-lined for easy handling. Each of us a copy of their computer generated simulations ...

[kungfuzen-blog]

Aliens

Reality unraveling on fast forward. If I were paranoid, I would suspect that somebody must have an interest in paralyzing people in fear. The more vague and obscure the source of their fear, the more traumatizing ...

The first of the Alien movies gave a perfect example of this experience. Never do we see the creature from outer space as a whole, only in the faintest of rare glimpses of a scaled tail, of glinting teeth drooling its saliva that eats through the steel girders. The real terror is not in what we are shown but in what our imagination supplements ...

Our worst enemy is hibernating in the deep space of our mind, waiting to come alive and pounce on us. The sequels of Aliens have betrayed this approach. Betraying the terror of the invisible to the surface values of special effects, replacing terror with sheer noise, and by consequence losing in impact ...

True terror lurks on the fringes of what our imagination can grasp. It is the dark side of the Gods whom man used to fear and try to appease by sacrificing the most beautiful and desirable virgin of the tribe at the end of winter time ...

Why in a way it makes perfect sense for the crowds of the common and ordinary to look for someone strange, someone they don‘t understand because he looks, talks and behaves different. They don‘t care to understand, they actually need someone they don‘t understand, someone who is different ...

Someone they can sacrifice as a representative for everything they don‘t understand and perceive as a threat. The less they understand those aliens, the easier it is to sacrifice them ...

[kungfuzen-blog]

Fear Rules

Reality is not what it used to be, or rather what we took it for. Fritjof Capra calls it a Rorschach test, meaning it‘s a product of our minds, but people‘s minds are not in sync any longer. Everybody on their own and lost ...

Nothing new for me, I had always been on my own, but people were terrified and lost their bearings. Looking about for someone weaker than themselves to sacrifice as a scapegoat and representative for what was wrong: “Look, it wasn‘t me, it's them!“

Inflicting hurt and suffering on others to alleviate their own agony and insecurity. The agonies and suffering of others a confirmation of their own views on life and themselves. You either are for or against them. The rule of mediocrity, of the common and ordinary who are driven by, or rather captives of their own fear ...

[kungfuzen-blog]

Electronic Underground

The nondescript high-rise where we were staying was a cover operation sat up on top of an underground city that is the headquarters of a top level top secret service unit, called multilateral as an euphemism to circumscribe the blatant fact that they are not responsible nor reporting to any national government, parliament or administration ...

Neither are their activities ever mentioned in the media. Rumors from undisclosed sources who claim to know what they are talking about, say the agency doesn‘t operate by national concerns ...

Suspected to be supervising governments, administrations and financial markets, coordinating activities of military and police forces and secret services worldwide, with or without the consent of governments involved, they are managing governments and administrations through middlemen who pose as lobbyists of companies that only exist in the heads of letters and documents and on the business cards of these representatives ...

The two of us hiding in the very heart of darkness, at the core of the evil that had us dancing by invisible strings or rather beams. “The only place where we‘re safe from being tracked, covered by their own shield of electronic buzz. The very electronics that are looking for us ...“

So I‘m not the only one consumed by the demons of his paranoia, my heart poisoned by suspicions that are feeding on a graveyard of bad experiences, my mind entangled in a web of worst case scenarios ...

[kungfuzen-blog]

Upfront

“Whenever you appear, rockets come flying, bombs are falling.“

I told you about the implants. “Do yo have facilities for a scan? Do you know people who could remove or deactivate the implants?“

“I‘d have to ask, but when the sisters learn that I have contacted you, I don‘t think they‘ll wait for an explanation.“ You looked at me pleadingly: “How are we ever going to know and be safe?“

I wouldn‘t have thought the day might come for me to wish for peace and safety, and neither would I have thought you, a Shaolin ninja, capable to ask for it. Peace and safety seemed the life-style of senior citizens in retirement, on the drip of drugs and tv. No idea what your preferences would have been, maybe praying and meditating, tripping on the fumes of those wicks burning in bowls of fragrant oil. Me, I‘d have preferred to be consumed by my own paranoia ...

“To be safe from suspicion and tripping over our own mind ...“

When it dawned on me that the WE whom you wanted to be safe wasn‘t referring to the sisterhood but the two of us, I stared at you in disbelieve. Incapable to make a sound, moved beyond words ...

With that moment I have moved beyond fear. No one else had ever shown me such unconditional trust, given upfront and without asking or dealing ...

[kungfuzen-blog]

Fragrant Surrender

Flinging yourself into the corner of the room, choking on a high, keening howl that seemed neither human nor animal as you hit your head against the wall several times before I could wrap my arms around you ...

Straining against my grip, you dug your fingers, nails and teeth into my arm with a force and ferocity that made me as blind as you with the pain. What held me in place was the closeness of your body. Its fragrance entering my circuits through my nose and the pores of my skin, working its deep and gentle magic ...

Nothing else works miracles as profound and soothing as the fragrance of your body. Without the struggle and the excruciating pain inflicted by your teeth I might never have found out how deep it goes ...

The calm that permeated myself was working on you as well. Your body slackened and slowly surrendered. Without a word you drifted off to sleep. Holding on to you, I arranged myself in a less awkward position and waited, with nothing on my mind but the music of your fragrances as they were playing on my senses and synapses ...

[kungfuzen-blog]

Crunch

What a musical voice. How finely attuned, how well balanced. No need to understand what you were saying, the melodies of your voice gave a fair idea of how you were drawing the other party out. Luring the person in, cajoling and withdrawing, only to come back for more tempting and taunting. Had to be a male on the other end of the line. Somebody you could play with as you did with me ...

Except you never had tried your voice on me. A voice so well trained and versed in the tricks of your trade. Sitting on the couch, I stared at my feet and forced myself to slowly breath in, and slowly, carefully let go of the air in my lungs again. Trembling, shaking, quaking, and about to faint from the rage that was building up in me ...

So absorbed was I by the task to control myself, it took a while before I noticed that you had stopped talking. That you were standing in front of me, the toes of your shoes pointing at me. Utterly immobile and silent ...

Slowly, very slowly I let my gaze move up from the high arches of your feet that were balancing effortlessly in high heels of gray suede, up those slender legs with knees to break my heart over, a sight I had never taken enough time to rejoice in, I realized, full of regret over the idea that I wouldn‘t be able to make up for lost opportunities ...

My eyes kept traveling on up. Taking my time. Preparing myself, I had no idea for what. The worst, something exceeding the capacities of my imagination. But when my eyes reached your face ...

How to frame it in words. The most beautiful face I knew. Your lips twitching and trembling, trying so hard to hold it in as the tears began pouring from your eyes. And then your face crumpled into a grimace of agony beyond words ...

With a strangled howl you turned away and flung yourself into the room‘s corner, hitting your head against the wall again and again ...

[kungfuzen-blog]

No Fuzz

The apartment we entered had a grand view on a nondescript industrial area on the outskirts of a town that seemed itself a nondescript industrial area on a larger scale ...

The place was furnished sparsely but expensively, tastefully sterile like a display for design magazines. From the way you were looking for things, it seemed that you weren‘t very familiar with the place ...

You still hadn‘t looked at me and went out of your way to keep yourself busy, first preparing tea and then running from one room to the other and back again, doing I didn‘t care what. Talking over the phone to people I didn‘t know, in a language I didn‘t understand ...

Wait a minute. Talking? You were TALKING?!

[kungfuzen-blog]

On Mute

Sitting next to you, waiting for an opportunity to get out and slam the door. But you drove fast, running several lights. The first opportunity to open the door and get out was what seemed to be our destination ...

A parking lot next to rows of nondescript residential buildings on the outskirts of a town we had seen from the distance of the highway. The names on the road signs were but curlicues to me. Nice to look at, offering no information ...

Barely touching the brakes, you drove the car down the exit ramp of an underground garage. Cutting the engine, you pulled the key and got out. I followed you and veered toward the elevator, but you went for the door to the fire escape and held it open for me. Instead of going upstairs, you took me to the lower level and led me through iron doors and down a maze of hallways ...

Eventually we emerged in the subterranean guts of a building that seemed abuzz with the power running through its complex circuits. We took the elevator up to the top floor, and I noticed that you were avoiding my eyes. Something you had never done before. Couldn‘t mean but the worst. Preparing myself to cut it short, I went into deep-freeze mode. No use making a fuzz ...

[kungfuzen-blog]

Imbalance

Clouds were accumulating on the horizon, eventually hiding the sun and approaching fast. The breeze was picking up, the leaves on the trees turning up their silvery gleaming undersides. Due to the road block, not many cars were going my way ...

The first heavy drops were falling and exploding in the dust, when a car stopped. The door was being opened from inside, a slender, female hand rested for a moment on the passenger seat before pulling away ...

Something may have warned me, or else paranoia had become my natural mode of existence. Maybe, without knowing it, I had left the 4D-grid known as reality all together, not just with my mind. I hesitated to turn and look at you. When I finally did, I wasn‘t surprised to find myself next to the person I had been longing for so much, yet at the same time afraid to see again ...

The one person who had the power to lure me back to reality. To reach out and make contact. Except I didn‘t trust my senses any longer. Maybe it was all happening in my mind, conjured by a starving imagination, triggered by an imbalance of my chemicals. My mind shrugged at me and turned away ...

But something else was stirring awake. Something similar to the clouds I had seen building up on the horizon, blocking the sun and soon the rest of the sky. Who did you think I was? A toy to play games with? A rage gathering in me until I was trembling. Waiting for an opportunity to get out and slam the door on you ...

[kungfuzen-blog]

Road Block

On my way back to the mountains. Not sure whether I would find the cave again. Any other cave would do as well. The higher up the better. The less chances to survive ...

Low on cash, so I took a bus. Would be safer, too, I thought. No surveillance, no electronic traces to track me down. So I believed until I saw the road block ahead. The bus was stopped and everybody told to get out ...

Soldiers in riot gear gear, and armed to their teeth. Officers demanded to see our IDs, then we had to get our luggage from the roof of the bus and open it. I didn‘t care to find out what they were looking for. Leaving my luggage at the feet of two soldiers who were searching somebody else‘s luggage, I slipped away ...

Hidden by shrubbery to the side of the road, I went back the way we had come. Eventually I came upon a crossing which we had passed, from there on I followed the road. No luggage, no money, no credit cards. When nothing makes sense anymore, life may begin. Taking things step by step, moment by moment, breathing in, and letting go again ...

[kungfuzen-blog]

Sisyphos Relaunch

Nothing makes sense in the ways I had been raised, trained and educated in. I may have lost all sense of time, but it feels as if I‘ve spent all my life looking for you, Silvana, and for those eyes of liquid amber, and for Kheesha, our child of love ... I don‘t care whether it makes sense or not, I‘m on my way back to the mountains. Leaving behind the ladies in lavender and the mind bending fumes from the burning wicks ... I don‘t care to know what I may have done to deserve this deal, whether in this or in any of my previous lives. Nothing I can do about it. No matter how many avalanches will bear down on me, carrying back down to the bottom of hell, all it means is that I will have to climb back up the mountain again ... A no-name Sisyhpos who has survived the date of his expiration by default, but I‘ll rather be riding the avalanches than deal with any two-legged animals of the babbling variety. No more four-letter words for me ...

[kungfuzen-blog]

Jail Break

Looking for you, for those eyes of liquid amber and for Kheesha, our child of love, I had all the time I might need to figure things out. The buzzer on your wrist going off again and again in my mind, nudging me on ... Those seeds of paranoia popping their buds and whispering messages which once had seemed encrypted, but now I coud read them in plain text. Implants, they were saying, repeating it like a mantra until it made sense as if it should have been evident from the moment the buzzer went off in the reel time world ... Those people spending time, money and effort on me like no one ever had done. Telling me to go ahead and not to worry about what I might be expected to do. They knew, so I shouldn't worry. I was not meant to know what purposes I was serving. Purposes I would not like, never mind agree with ... But it‘s only a fragment of the story, and the least significant. Like everything that makes sense. Making sense means, I can forget about it and deal with what does not make sense ... Life only begins when things don‘t make sense anymore. Whatever makes sense is dead. Those who stick with what seems to makes sense, if only to them, they are dead ... Making sense, of course, is a matter of perspective. Long as I keep moving, my view and perspective will change, and by consequence the things I took for granted will look, smell, taste strange, unfamiliar, even suspicious ... Long as I keep moving, nothing will ever be certain and for sure, nothing will remain the same forever ...

[kungfuzen-blog]

Multi-Level Reality

In vain did I hope and wait for you to come back. Once the explosions had stopped and the air cleared, I went looking for you, stumbling and groping through the rubble and debris ... I didn‘t even know what name to call you by. We never had exchanged a word. But I had no time to worry and try figure it out. The air outside disrupted once again, the heavy thudding of copter blades approaching fast, so I made my way in the direction you had led me when we entered the maze of tunnels ... The ground steadily sloping downwards, the air became warmer, more humid, and fragrant. A familiar fragrance that worked its way into my circuitry and chemistry ... Not much surprised when the tunnel opened onto a dome-like cave. At its backside a multi-leveled temple rose to the ceiling. The air humming with activities although the people moving about were not hurrying, and no voices could be heard. Large bowels on pedestals held a liquid that was feeding a burning wick. The smoke rising in languorous swirls, spreading at mid-level of the cave ... The temple seemed identical with the one I had been led to after coming down the mountains on an avalanche. It didn‘t make sense by any logic in the 4D-grid of time and space, but maybe there was more to reality than even I would have believed ...

[kungfuzen-blog]

Phosphorescent Angel

Nothing lasts. The more beautiful the moment, the shorter. Our breath was calming down, our hearts still beating strong, when a buzzer on your wrist went off. I had taken it to be a watch ... A bright orange light blinking on the display, showing circles zeroing in on their center at increasing speed. I didn‘t have time to figure out what it meant. Jumping up, you grabbed my arm and pulled me to my feet with surprising strength ... Running down the stairs to the basement, we entered a labyrinth of tunnels and chambers as the earth around us woke up, heaving, quaking and shaking as if to throw us up and off ... The buzzer on your wrist silent and dark. You seemed to be knowing where you were going, pulling me along. From behind us a blazing light pierced the darkness and tracers ripped past us. Flinging me to the ground, you let go of my hand ... You seemed to have disappeared. Nowhere to be seen in the psychedelic laser show nor heard in the noise of explosions. But then, out of nowhere like the shadow of an afterthought, you whizzed by overhead, gliding along the ceiling at the speed of thought ... The tracers and whining ricochets stopped. Back-lit by the phosphorous glow from the explosions above, the figures of our pursuers dropped one by one. First their heads came off, then their bodies followed kind of hesitatingly, as if in doubt about what was happening ...