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[laba2dub2]

Godiva x Sanrio plush mascot set｡⊹ ♡.*࿐ ｡ ₊ ·

[laba2dub2]

"starving/restricting doesn't work!!" THEN HOW EXACTLY DO PEOPLE WITH ANOREXIA GET HOSPITALISED FOR BEING TOO THIN??? BECAUSE IT WORKS.

[laba2dub2]

Please give me recommendations for chew & spit ^w^ ~°•°~

I've done chew and spit once in my life before, and want to start doing it again because it seems like a good alternative for purging, but I don't know what food would be best for it. I mainly crave chocolate but I'm afraid of the chocolate melting in my mouth so that I won't be able to spit it properly. I also tried potato chips before but they got stuck in my teeth so that also scares me. Anyone with experience that can give me some tips?

[laba2dub2]

i want to look sick. i want to be covered in bruises. i want people to be scared of hugging me because they don’t want to hurt me. i want hollow cheeks. i want to be so pale i look like a ghost.i want to look fragile. i want to be breakable. i want to get dizzy everytime i stand up. i want to look how i feel

[laba2dub2]

"I just forget to eat.. Like it gets to 10pm and I'm like shit I forgot to eat haha" "like I always forget to eat, it's an issue"

Shit up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up

[laba2dub2]

At this point my biggest motivation to starve myself is the hope that being sick would excuse me from being a productive and functioning human being. I don't want anyone to expect anything from me. I don't want to keep working. And I can't just quit because then I will be a disappointment. I want to be sick enough so that it would be justifiable to quit.

I don't want mom to look at me with a disgust, that I can't do anything right and can't even handle a simple job.

I want her to look at me with worry. Pity. I want pity.

I want to lay in bad and rot. And I want to have a reason to do it. I want it to be acceptable for me to do. Because I'm sick. I can't help it, it's not like I'm a lazy failure, I'm just sick.

But I'm not sick. Not enough. No one sees it. I starve and then binge and gain everything back. So no one knows. So I'm just an idiot who can barely handle her job. I want to kill myself every time I think about future projects and tasks that will be given to me. I can't handle that. I'm scared. I'm incompetent. Everyone will be disappointed in me. But if I will just be sick enough. Just a little thinner. Just a little paler. All I need is to faint one time for people to see something is wrong, for them to see that I can't handle it. I can't handle it. I TRULY CAN'T HANDLE IT.

Please. Please. I want release from the responsibilities of life. I really can't handle it....

.......

if i can't be sick enough..

i will have to end it

[laba2dub2]

I miss the person that I used to be.

I was excited, ambitious. I enjoyed things, I loved my friends, I had hobbies and dreams.

I ate, because even if I restricted for a bit, I would always think "I can't live like this" and eat. I enjoyed the food. Even if it was a binge I enjoyed the food. I would think, that as long as I eat tasty food, engage in the things I love and keep on dreaming I can live on.

but nothing is enjoyable anymore. none of my hobbies. I don't want to see my friends, i don't want to see anyone. nothing new interests me.

even food isn't good. I now restrict properly because anytime I think of eating, I feel like I'm hit with a brick in the face when I realize that it won't make me feel better. nothing will. The hope that eating would make me feel better isn't there anymore. nothing will make me feel better.

I am not depressed. I just wish I didn't exist.

So I miss the person, who could find hope in recovery.

[laba2dub2]

when did everything become so much worse

[laba2dub2]

people who eat are such pigs. it's honestly disgusting. moving around with all their fat, going on a lunch break to actually eat food... EW.

I WOULD NEVER.

eating around me in the office, making me smell these disgusting calories, chewing... I want to vomit. disgusting disgusting disgusting disgusting disgusting disgusting disgusting disgusting SO DISGUSTING.

they deserve to be so fat and ugly.

[laba2dub2]

Can someone please give me recommendation on which foods are easy/hard to throw up? I've purged for the first time not too long ago, and out of all things I could have chosen, it had to be pasta in rose chicken sauce😐😐😐 Needless to say, it was a horrible experience. So now I really wish to know beforehand what I shouldn't try to throw up😭😭😭

[laba2dub2]

I wish I was anorexic. Why can't I be good at anything? I'm even failing at being properly mentally ill. Of course no one takes me seriously, I'm a joke.

[laba2dub2]

There is no need to fear. Just stab. You're barely real. Your life isn't worth anything. Just piece of meat. You as person don't exist, it's just your brain doing weird shit. Once it stops, it's like you've never been. Don't worry, don't be scared, ending it all means nothing, it's not grand or even a big decision, it's something you had to do a long time ago. Do it. Kill yourself.

[laba2dub2]

I want blood.

[laba2dub2]

i feel so clean when i dont eat

[laba2dub2]

"Do these symptoms interfere with your daily activities?"

Bitch these symptoms ARE my daily activities wym

[laba2dub2]

Feels relevant right now.

Had a few good days, of eating normal and convincing myself that neither starving nor binging will make me feel better. Was about to go buy some snacks to have while gaming tomorrow, as there isn't any good food at home.

Was about to go out when my mom said,

"Why are you so fat?"

Like please, please just stop already- I'm literally crying.

I'm around 46kg(102lbs), 160cm(5'3ft), I'm not skinny like thinspo, but I think I look pretty normal, please just stop calling me fat😭😭😭

And then she proceeded to scream at me that I'm fucking mental bc I decided to stay home for no reason.

So yeah, I want to be sick, maybe than she will stop so casually calling me fat.

[laba2dub2]

i saw a post awhile ago talking about romanticizing your ed and LET ME TELL YOU, THAT SHIT WORKS

saying things like “a skinny person wouldn’t eat today”

“i’m not eating because i’m dainty and i don’t need it”

or looking at thnspo and saying “wow to look like that i’m going to fast all day”